Review Detail of char in Shou Chronicles
Review detail
Hello Readers. First of all, I am thankful to all the readers for their thoughts, love and time. You all might have noticed that my chapters are not well written and have grammatical errors of all sorts. Maybe you will find some errors here too. I would love to find out my mistakes and improve them and so I am looking forward to readers to point them out to me. My main goal is to let people read my story so that they could have some fun in their busy lives. I had my website before but its well-hidden so almost no one knew about it. If you wanna see how I did the Quest boxes, check it out on chargaoshou.com. From now on I would be releasing chapters here only on webnovel. I would be releasing 4 chapters a week at the least. Some readers might know that there are some similarities with Shuras Wrath. I was basically drawn into VRMMOS through Shuras Wrath so I decided to do some tribute to it.Moreover, I am an ******* writer as of now, so I need to do some research for content as I like to add mythology in my story. Lastly, I was also influenced by Chinese Cultivation System. I would do my best to come up with a system similar to most of the Cultivation novels. Please do criticise my work because one cannot become a writer if everything he gets is good comments. I hope you all will like my work and support me until the end.
Shou Chronicles
char
Liked by 21 people
LIKEReplies24
It would be nice if you are able to blend the world building with the characters, the first few chapters makes it seem like an essay. Also remove unnessecary fillers in some sentences, as it makes it looked cramped. The dialouge is a bit bland, and often looks like a documentary. I wont judge much since it is a new and original story, but do keep improving it. I look forward to future chapters..
My comment looks assertive, my bad. Please dont take it too seriously, just me giving suggestions :)
RegulationOFF:It would be nice if you are able to blend the world building with the characters, the first few chapters makes it seem like an essay. Also remove unnessecary fillers in some sentences, as it makes it looked cramped. The dialouge is a bit bland, and often looks like a documentary. I wont judge much since it is a new and original story, but do keep improving it. I look forward to future chapters..
well since you want to be bashed( you said it yourself lol) I'll start by giving you a praise this novel (for the twelve chapter I've read so far) got potential the plot seems interesting . BUT too much info about the plot and it's since chapter one you tell us from the beginning that the game is not a game pnj are real people the planet is real planet and mc is some kind of experimental result from an underground(?) organization and he know it in my opinion it would have been better too slowly unveil the plot and mystery . because with so much info i can already guess a few thing: - the mysterious benefactor is a villain - the mysterious organization is not totally evil - the future of earth depend of the action taken by the player in the "game" of course it's just wild guess and i might be wrong but it seems obvious from my point of view. to me the main problem is the fact that the mc have it too easy from the start : he is rich handsome and potentially have super power in real life. plus at the beginning you say that he is an awesome gamer but till now he just look like a rmb warrior using op stuff he got by being awesomely rich. I'll continue reading this story to see the development, after all like i said the plot got potential and despite grammatical mistake and a few wording problem it's totally readable ( still need a bit of editing though ) hope my comment helped you, and waiting for a reply (maybe we could continue discussing it to make it perfect... but you'll need the help of a few more people since i'm not that good XD)
the thing is to point the problem but also to explain them and offer a solution, bashing for bashing is just useless and a total lack of respect
BrotherFan:Hopefully the criticism and praises are balanced. May Good fortune help you write đ
Firstly thanks for the interest in my story. Although you guessed some of the things half-right, many are, as you say, wild guesses. I won't spoil much, other than saying that the future of earth do depend on the actions taken by the players in game... and some more. And sure I would love to discuss to make it more perfect. Do join on discord if you have time as it gives me an instant message. I guess I should limit my foreshadowing supertalent xD
tybot:well since you want to be bashed( you said it yourself lol) I'll start by giving you a praise this novel (for the twelve chapter I've read so far) got potential the plot seems interesting . BUT too much info about the plot and it's since chapter one you tell us from the beginning that the game is not a game pnj are real people the planet is real planet and mc is some kind of experimental result from an underground(?) organization and he know it in my opinion it would have been better too slowly unveil the plot and mystery . because with so much info i can already guess a few thing: - the mysterious benefactor is a villain - the mysterious organization is not totally evil - the future of earth depend of the action taken by the player in the "game" of course it's just wild guess and i might be wrong but it seems obvious from my point of view. to me the main problem is the fact that the mc have it too easy from the start : he is rich handsome and potentially have super power in real life. plus at the beginning you say that he is an awesome gamer but till now he just look like a rmb warrior using op stuff he got by being awesomely rich. I'll continue reading this story to see the development, after all like i said the plot got potential and despite grammatical mistake and a few wording problem it's totally readable ( still need a bit of editing though ) hope my comment helped you, and waiting for a reply (maybe we could continue discussing it to make it perfect... but you'll need the help of a few more people since i'm not that good XD)
plot aside mc would be the main reason i drop novel like many others do. Too much of a beta mc, hide his op power like co.ckroaches, gets over friendly to start giving items and free bus rides to others specially to girl and a fat as.s friend, every girl wants to love the mc and mc is dumb as fk about it, one arrogant young master with back up after another, lastly mc back down from killing which may create future problem to him or his close ones if they decide to act behind his back or call for back up which could clearly be avoided by killing and destroying all clues tied to him.
tybot:well since you want to be bashed( you said it yourself lol) I'll start by giving you a praise this novel (for the twelve chapter I've read so far) got potential the plot seems interesting . BUT too much info about the plot and it's since chapter one you tell us from the beginning that the game is not a game pnj are real people the planet is real planet and mc is some kind of experimental result from an underground(?) organization and he know it in my opinion it would have been better too slowly unveil the plot and mystery . because with so much info i can already guess a few thing: - the mysterious benefactor is a villain - the mysterious organization is not totally evil - the future of earth depend of the action taken by the player in the "game" of course it's just wild guess and i might be wrong but it seems obvious from my point of view. to me the main problem is the fact that the mc have it too easy from the start : he is rich handsome and potentially have super power in real life. plus at the beginning you say that he is an awesome gamer but till now he just look like a rmb warrior using op stuff he got by being awesomely rich. I'll continue reading this story to see the development, after all like i said the plot got potential and despite grammatical mistake and a few wording problem it's totally readable ( still need a bit of editing though ) hope my comment helped you, and waiting for a reply (maybe we could continue discussing it to make it perfect... but you'll need the help of a few more people since i'm not that good XD)
well for now the mc is in non of what you said, he is manipulating girl with his charisma (he know they like him and use it at his advantage) although he give a ride to power level a group of player it seems mostly so he can use them later and he look cold hearted enough to butcher any one who step on his foot (although he seem quite bit arrogant, but is this his true face or a persona ...only time will say)
Archena:plot aside mc would be the main reason i drop novel like many others do. Too much of a beta mc, hide his op power like co.ckroaches, gets over friendly to start giving items and free bus rides to others specially to girl and a fat as.s friend, every girl wants to love the mc and mc is dumb as fk about it, one arrogant young master with back up after another, lastly mc back down from killing which may create future problem to him or his close ones if they decide to act behind his back or call for back up which could clearly be avoided by killing and destroying all clues tied to him.
