Soul Mates

Only a few moments later, and I was sitting in front of my tombstone, in a criss cross position. It was very surreal, as the wind blew threw my clothes, and around me.

I stared down at my tombstone, while thinking deeply about the life I've lived up until now. Previously, I tried to talk to my mom and Sora, even apologize to them, but nothing worked. They didn't notice I was there or anything. And the more I watched, the more I saw how much pain I brought to them. When I was alive, and even now that I'm dead.

The more I think, the more I realize that there was a reason I wanted to go back in the first place. Not because I loved life, or hated the way I died. It was because I had a feeling that my life was trash, and I couldn't just leave it like that. Though I didn't want to face the trashy life that I had, because I was sure that I would make it back to that life.

I was wrong.

Early in my life, I'd always been a pretty happy kid. Especially when my biological dad would play with me. He always would, and it was the happiest moments of my life, before I turned 8. My mom dumped him, and she told me that it was because he was abusive and he would hit her. She didn't tell me this until I was about 13, which was the same age that he passed away at. When I saw my mom with another man, and another child at 8, I felt so mad. I felt like my dad was replaced without much explanation. That's why I grew hostile to my brother, and distance myself from my mom.

When my mom told me my biological dad was abusive, I didn't want to believe it. How could the man that gave me so much smiles do something like that? But now I realize that people have underlying feelings and actions all the time. Kind of like Suruyu. I turned to drugs and gangs around 15, and I even got in trouble with the law a few times.

As I self reflect on the life that I lived, I stare down at the tombstone with watery eyes that started to accumulate. I started to feel guilty, and emotional, as I looked down. "I'm sorry Tsuki..I failed you. I failed you so hard. If only I was more open about how I felt, and not believing that I had to be strong all that time. If I didn't distance myself from Suruyu and my mom, maybe we both would be alive right now." I spoke to myself, who was laying underground in a casket. This was the life that I lived. I wasn't a good guy. I wasn't sweet like my mom. I wasn't innocent like my brother. I wasn't so passionate like Suruyu. I was a piece of shit a lot of the time. Almost my whole life. But it's too late to come to terms with that.

"Damn it me.." I say in a mumbled tone, as I start to clench my teeth and fists, with tears falling from my eyes. "Why? Why did I have to leave such a terrible fucking mark?! Why? I mean why couldn't I do anything positive with my life?! All I did was hurt other people and fuck up theres. Is this really it for me? Is this right here really it for Tsukis legacy?!" I screamed emotionally, as I looked up at the grey clouds in the sky. The tears continued to fall from my eyes, and I felt myself breaking down the more I thought about this life. Even in the afterlife, I couldn't complete something positive. Couldn't save the afterworld, and Memory world. I wonder if it's an issue with my soul.

Meanwhile, In the memory world. They were all still at the winter festival. "I'm glad the god of souls left. Seems like he thought Suruyu was gonna go through her door, so he felt no need to force her.." Heasa said to Heasu and Suruyu.

"We have to get him back. We can't just let him be stuck as a lost soul. Plus what about the afterworld and all that stuff he was gonna save?!" Suruyu demanded as she paced around back and forth infront of the guardian angels. Heasa and Heasu looked at eachother with a bit of skepticism.

Heasu then turned his head to face Suruyu, who was pacing in a very anxious and worried way. "Remember when Heasa and I said that you two are soulmates?" Heasu asked, causing Suruyu to stop, and focus her attention to him.

"Yeah, what about it?" Suruyu asked while looking at Heasu suspiciously. Heasu looked a bit worried, though he responded anyways. "When someone becomes a lost soul, there are two ways of getting them back. One of the options will take a long time, so we have to go with the more riskier one. The lost souls soul mate can pull them out. The thing about that is, it's very dangerous and you two could both get stuck down there. As you guardian angel, I wouldn't recommend it, but I know how important he is to you." Heasu explains to Suruyu, while she looks off, contemplating on the explanation.

Suruyu then stopped pacing, and looked Heasu in the face with a determined expression. "I'll do it!" She agreed with a driven look, and before they knew it, she was on her way to Me. Heasa opened a door.

Moments later. "I can open this door. Since I'm Tskukis guardian angel, I can open doors that are connected to him. Typically someone wouldn't be able to go through another persons door, but you two are soulmates. I'm opening a afterworld door, not that it matters considering he wasn't able to come to terms with his life in time. But here it is.." The door suddenly appeared before Suruyus eyes. She looked at the door, and the handle with some hesitance, before she walked closer to it.

"Remember what I told you, and how you're gonna be able to get him back..both of you have to really want it, for this to work." Heasu said with a serious look. Suruyu watched him, and nodded in response. She then opened the door, and jumped inside of it, with worry.

Where I was, time passed differently. I've been stuck as a lost soul for about a week now, with no hope in getting out. Everyday, I come right here, and talk to my dead self. It's weird, but I feel guilty. I feel like I let myself down. "Day 7 of being a lost soul..it's empty, despite all the people, so quiet despite all the noise, and so so so lonely..I wonder what Suruyu is doing, or if she's okay. I hope she's atleast living the life that she wanted" I say from the ground that I was sitting on, as I talked to myself.

After I finished vocalizing my thoughts, I heard footsteps approach me from the grass behind me. I didn't care to turn and look back, as there was no point in seeing who it was. They couldn't see me, and I couldn't interact with them. So I slowly stood up, and turned around.

Once I turned around, I was left with too much confusion to bare. My heart sink, and my body felt restricted..as I turned around, my eyes connected with Suruyu, as the wind blew threw her hair. She kept her worried eyes on me, and that's when my worry started to form as well. "You became a lost soul? I don't get it. I thought you came to terms with the life you lived?" I continuously questioned Suruyu, while she continued to watch me.

"I came for you.." Suruyu responded back to me with a calm voice. She then walked closer to me, and looked off to the side a bit. We were standing directly infront of each other, and we were only about 10 inches away from eachother. "I can bring you back. I know I've never been the best at helping you or whatever, but this time I will. Not just because I want to make up for all that I've done wrong in my life, but because I still like you. Regardless of how many times I was pissed at you or sad with you. I've always felt connected with you, and I don't think that it's just because we're soul mates.." Suruyu explained to me, and it was obvious she was having a hard time keeping eye contact. She sounded a bit shy, and fidgety.

"I-" I was about to respond, before Suruyu placed a finger gently over my lips to shush me. I looked down at her with raised eyes brows. "I'm not finished.." She said, before slowly removing her finger from my lips. That's when she finally looked me in the eyes.

After she did, she let out a small sigh. "I'm sorry..not for being incapable of helping you, but not respecting your boundaries. I didn't know what you were going through at the time, and it was so rough for you, but I kept pushing it. I never gave you space, so I understand why you avoided me or neglected to tell me anything. So yeah, I was mad at you for it, and I still am a little bit. But I understand it, and I don't blame you at all." Suruyu explained to me, as we looked into each others gaze. Her eyes seemed to be shining in this moment, and she seemed so nice to me. She wasn't this nice to me since junior high.

After she finished, we continued looking at eachother for a bit. I ended up breaking the eye contact with a happy smile, along with a bit of a chuckle. "What? What's funny?" Suruyu asked, as she blushed, and looked away from me.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry, you're just cute apologizing and whatever." I respond to her, as I continue to chuckle a bit. She continued to blush while she occasionally glanced at me from the corner of her eye with a frustrated glare.

"Anyways, yeah.." I say as I get a bit more serious, and face Suruyu again. Suruyu drops the frustration, and proceeds to focus on me. "After what happened with my dad and stepdad, I kind of felt alone. I was mad, and bitter. The reason I avoided you and my mom so much was because you were the only two that basically forced me to face my issues. And facing my issues were hard. It was easier to run away from them and pretend like they didn't exist. Asking me if I was okay, or checking up constantly, just reminded me that yeah, I'm not okay. And I hated that feeling. I felt weak, and small. But I still tried to talk to you. But then when my dad died, around the end of junior high, I just stopped coming around you. I knew you'd continue to be there for me and make me face the traumas that I held in for so long. And since my dad died, that grew so much worst. Then hearing about how he was abusive, it felt like my life was just a big lie. Like nothing that I felt was real. All the happy moments were just fabricated and covered in plastic. Even my moms happiness as she was being abused, supposedly. You were the only thing In my life back then that wasn't fabricated. Hell, even my stepdad was. Pretending to like me and want to do stuff with me just for the sake of my mom. And my little brother was too young to even really think. But that's the life I lived, and I think I've come to terms with that now." I explained to Suruyu, while I occasionally drifted my eyes off into the sky. As I spoke, Suruyu continued to watch me with those big worried eyes.

"I never knew you were going through that.." Suruyu said quietly, before I turned my eyes to face her more seriously. I even approached closer to her, and I could feel the confusion that she had.

"One thing I want you to know, is I didn't just want you to go back to your life so I could make up for the wrong shit that I did in my life. I wanted to for other reasons as well. I wanted to because you deserved it." I admit to Suruyu, causing her wide eyes to sparkle. The sun then started to show itself, and replace the Grey clouds. "When we met, I started to question how I could be so lucky to get the chance to go back. Someone like me who's only ever really done bad things in his life. Then I looked at you. Someone who always wanted to help others, someone that always tried to help me. And I realized that if I deserved the chance, then you did even more than me. You know they say the good die young? You're an example of that." The more I spoke to Suruyu, the more I saw her shiny eyes start to water. Glistening tears slowly started to leave her eyes, as she looked at me with the same expression.

"I wanted you to go back because you deserved it. You deserve to go back and live a good life. You deserve to be able to laugh, smile, and experience all the things about life. You deserve to be able to have with friends, go to festivals, and eat mochi. You deserve to experience love, even if it isn't with me. You deserve so many things, because you're a great person. Even if you didn't help all the time, you WANTED to. You wanted to so much, I just ruined it for you. And yeah you're human, you're going to be effected by things in the past. Things that will prevent you from really going for what you feel, and that's okay. That doesn't make you a bad person or anything. I want to make that clear. Back at the festival, I couldn't, because I was scared..hell, all my life I was scared. But I'm not scared anymore. And you shouldn't be either." I confessed to Suruyu, with passion and conviction.

After I did, a peaceful smile started to appear on her face. She closed her eyes, and lowered her head down. She then moved closer, and pressed the top of her head against my chest, where I looked down at her with confusion. "Thank you.." Suruyu said calmly to me, making me blush a little bit. She then opened her eyes, and slowly lifted her head to face me. "But you didn't live just a bad life. I assume your family has been devastated since you've been gone. There's a reason for that. You made me happy a lot, and I know you did for them too. Maybe you lost your way, but that didn't make your overall life bad. We both couldn't face our problems head on, because we were scared. That's something we can bond over." Suruyu said to me, before she slowly moved her hand, and grabbed onto mine. I looked down at her hand, then back up at her.

Suruyu smiled a very angelic smile, and I was in awe from it. "That's something we can bond over." She said with a very happy face, before the both of us started to vanish with these white shining particles replacing us. We continued holding hands, while we looked around in shock.

The two of us then looked at eachother, before we vanished completely, while still holding onto eachothers hand. We were replaced by the shining particles.

Before we knew it, we started to appear right back into our memory world, right in the middle of the festival. Heasa and Heasu were there as well. As I appeared back, I looked around in awe. I was shocked at what just happened. "I'm back.." I say with a bit of happiness. A smile then starts to appear over me. "I'm back!! Yes!!!" I screamed up into the heavens, while Heasa and Suruyu laughed a bit.

"But what? How? What the hell happened?!" I question as I approached Suruyu and Heasa.

"Well, soul mates can bring eachorher out from being a lost world. All they have to do is find something that they bond over, and feel that strong connection between eachother...and you did it." Heasa explained with a smile.

I looked in slight disbelief, before I turned to look at Suruyu proudly. "Thank you thank you thank you!" I ran over and squeezed Suruyu with the tightest hug that I've ever done. She immediately blushed and looked around in a panic.

Once I let her down, I kept the smile, though we were only a few inches apart from eachother, which was very close. "S-sorry.." I back up a bit, while rubbing the back of my head, while Suruyu looks away with a bright red face. Heasu and Heasa looked at the both of us with a teasing glare.

"Stop looking at us like that!" Suruyu and I yelled in sync to the guardian angels, causing them to both laugh.

"A-anyways Suruyu..do you want to maybe help me? I don't want to push you, or decide your life for you..I just want you to know that I need your help, and I don't think I can do it without you." I turn to face Suruyu. Suruyu then looks over at me, with contemplation. "But no pressure though! I mean that 100% and that's not like a sarcastic thing or anything." I blurted out to Suruyu, before she looked up at me with a very straight face.

"Sure, I'll do it." She responded, before smiling brightly. "Are you sure?" I questioned with happiness.

"Yes..your words meant a lot to me. You're very persuasive you know that?" She said to me with a bit of a chuckle. Before the two of us smiled at eachother.

"Well, do you think you came to terms with the life you lived now? If so, I'll open the door to the afterworld, and we'll finally face this great evil." Heasa said to me with a smile. I immediately turned my head with a smile. I didn't feel much hesitance, or even doubt. I just nodded my head.

"I'm ready." I respond to Heasa, and she nods to me with a proud smile, before opening a door for me. The door was quite shiny, and it brightened up all of our eyes.

Heasu then opened up a door for Suruyu, and the two of us were standing at our own respective doors.

I took a deep breath, and walked to the door, along with Heasa by my side. "You ready?" I question while looking over at Suruyu. Suruyu then looks over at me and smiles. "Yup!" She responds.

Then the two of us walked up to our individual doors, and stepped inside.