"Truly impressive! Even reduced to just a head, you still cling to your act!" Tony exclaimed, giving a thumbs up from the dwarf star, clearly impressed.
"Doesn't this hurt?" he wondered aloud.
Meanwhile, in the ethereal realm of the ghostly Deadpool, the wispy figure wailed and lamented, "Damn it! Why are these nerves so excruciatingly sensitive? It's torture!"
"Is there no one here? I require treatment. A fair lady's touch might soothe my agony!" Deadpool continued, his cries echoing. "Ah, Lady Death, my dear mistress, how I long for your embrace!"
In the sprawling Marvel Universe...
Within Sanctuary II, Thanos' purple visage began a gradual transition toward cyan, a sight that sent shivers down Nebula and Gamora's spines. Yet, amidst their trepidation, a glimmer of hope flickered in their gaze.
"Under the moon's watchful eye, a severed head moans endlessly in the wilderness," an eerie voice echoed, accompanied by sporadic flashes of arcane phenomena, painting a surreal tableau.
Suddenly, an elderly voice interjected, "So many words for just a head. Perhaps a stint as the Knight Bus's guide beckons!"
"Isn't that right, Ron Weasly?"
Deadpool chimed in eagerly, his irreverence undeterred. "Old man, hurry up and flip me over! I've already grazed on two pounds of grass!"
With a wave of his wand, Dumbledore rotated Deadpool's head, exposing the moonlit side. Yet, the sight that met his eyes nearly prompted a retreat. Even the venerable wizard Dumbledore found himself unsettled.
Meanwhile, Ron's diminutive head began a grotesque transformation, granulating and reforming its musculature and flesh, a scene reminiscent of ancient malevolent deities chronicled in Hogwarts' tomes.
Dumbledore's brow furrowed deeply as he declared, "You are most certainly not Ron Weasly. What manner of being are you?"
Chuckling, Deadpool retorted, "How could this sprout be me? I am Wade Winston Wilson, the unrivaled mercenary of the cosmos!"
["Of course, it's quite expected for you, an ancient British relic, to be clueless about it!"
[Deadpool lamented, finding this world dreadfully dull. Here I am, starting off with just a head, and the first thing I encounter is some old geezer ogling at me!]
[Don't ask me how I know; I've seen all sorts. Uncle Wade, you've got quite the discerning eye, I must say!]
(Of course, the main reason is the sudden realization of my body's age.)
[At twelve, I barely had peach fuzz, let alone anything to get excited about!!"
[Life's just one big yawn…]
[Deadpool lets out a deep sigh..
[Yet his sigh seems to baffle Dumbledore!"
[In just ten seconds, his mood swings more wildly than a Quidditch match, like he's a loony at St. Mungo's!"
[But that's beside the point; the real puzzle now is how the other guy ended up as Ron and still seems unkillable!)
(And, of course, there's good news!]
[The fish he's been angling for has taken the bait!]
[Quirrell's gone and possessed Voldemort, only to get bumped off by the monster right in front of him!)
[At this moment, a thought strikes Dumbledore: Could this creature claiming to be Wade in front of him have also possessed Ron?"
"Maybe Ron Weasley isn't quite out of the picture yet!"
[Aside from effortlessly offing Voldemort, Dumbledore suddenly has a brainwave!
["I take it you're here to declare yourself a mercenary?" Dumbledore inquires!)
[Step right up, NPC's got a quest, and Deadpool perks up, eagerly responding:]
["Yep, yep, yep! From changing nappies to grannies, to babysitting, I'm your guy. Scare me, I dare you!")
[But the next moment, Deadpool does a 180:]
Of course, if the price is right, ahem, not too…")
["Hold it right there!")
[Dumbledore's face contorts, fearing Deadpool's about to say something outrageous!)
["Since that's the case, I've got a proposition for you!"
["For every time you help me wreck something, I'll cough up ten thousand Galleons!"]
[Deadpool suddenly sours, what kind of nonsense, sending me charity 🙂
["What the heck is that, I want a fancy blade, aces high, got it?]
[Dumbledore deadpans:]
["Ten thousand Galleons equates to eighty thousand dollars!")
["Fine, whoever regrets not having an arsehole!" Dumbledore's eyebrow twitched. He always sensed this fellow was subtly suggesting something to him, and he was sorely tempted to hit him with an Avada Kedavra spell!
(He refrained, however, realizing it would likely be futile!)
Taking a deep breath, Dumbledore spoke, "Then, let's make a deal."
(Actually, he did it after much contemplation!)
"Firstly, despite the opponent's peculiar appearance, he is non-magical and not particularly strong in terms of power."
"Secondly, although the other party possesses a deadly weapon with immense lethality, during the siege at the Hogwarts auditorium, he refrained from using it!"
"It was only when the malevolent Voldemort employed the Curse he used it to strike him down!"
"So, at least from the current perspective, the opponent isn't indiscriminately murdering innocent people!"
"Of course, this doesn't assure that the other party is harmless!"
"But as the foremost white wizard of this era, he still possesses his virtues!"
"And most crucially, the opponent's immortality is likely to aid in the destruction of Voldemort's Horcruxes!"
"In this world, there's always a need for daring adventures; he must choose!"
On the other side, if Deadpool didn't have legs, he would have done the splits right then and there!
[Data Panel!]
Deadpool: Wade Winston Wilson
Intelligence: -1 to 26 (normal world's average is 7!)
Agility: 12 (normal people: 5!)
Strength: 14 (normal people: 6!)
Physical Endurance: 33 (normal people's: ??)
HP: ??? (normal people: 130!)
World Compatibility: 120% (your physical strength perfectly translates into this world!)
Side Quest: Assist Dumbledore in destroying Horcruxes! (0/7)
Quest Reward: Random Magic!
With tears in his eyes, Wang Hao watched as Deadpool was marked with this, and from now on, he too would be a man with special abilities!
Sobbing, Deadpool looked at Dumbledore and said, "Old man, please give me a hug; it's chilly down here!"
Dumbledore pointed his wand and cast a levitation spell, suspending Deadpool's head in the air! Thus, under the moonlight, a surreal sight of a floating head with sprouting granulation was seen.
"It appears even more bizarre..."
(This sight left Dumbledore unable to resist!)
"Deadpool is a little odd, isn't he"
But speaking of oddities, Deadpool squinted at the moon, "isn't that even stranger?"
"A colossal flesh-and-blood tree, towering 10,000 meters high, rooted in the crater of Moon Mountain!"
"And upon it, numerous deformed organs and countless golden eyes!"
"At this moment, those eyes are fixed upon the Earth, blinking like stars!"]
****
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