Losing (TW death)

I will never understand death

I will never understand why I beg for it

Why do I want to hold his hands

His hand will cold

I'll want to let go

But he will not come for me

My grandma was the first person to die in my life

I was numb when I was told

It was as if the world stood still

I always thought I would die before her

Imaged her at my funeral

Crying

Placing dying lilies on my casket

But no

He never comes for me

She was cold

She was tiny and her skin fell from her bones

They put her on a table with no care

No one respected her wishes

They threw makeup on her with a wig

Some shitty old blanket on top

She deserved better