The Otherworldly Exile

Very interesting story, could add more details to the writing style but overall great potential!

Honestly thought the author did an outstanding job in portraying what he meant and I felt like he created a story both he and the reader would enjoy. I would actually recommend this to someone if they have read popular novels and are looking for something more niche within the novel community. Great work 🙏

Spoiler de revelação

I like it...have a meme_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Before discovering FOALF, my life was a constant struggle. I felt like an outcast, mocked by the boys and pitied by the girls. I was unattractive, overweight, scarred, and intellectually challenged. I was treated with contempt, barely considered human. Bullied relentlessly for being different, I was shoved into lockers, plunged into toilets, and even curb-stomped on multiple occasions. After another brutal day of torment, I found myself on the verge of ending it all. Just as I was about to take that final step, I received a Discord notification from @Høohan, talking about a web novel he was writing. With nothing to lose, I decided to check it out. From the moment I read the first word of FOALF, my entire existence changed. It was as if Plato's metaphysical realm of perfect ideas had manifested in my life. My very essence was transformed; I was no longer a mere mortal. As I delved deeper into the story, indescribable changes occurred, not just within me but in the very fabric of reality itself. Each word of FOALF overwhelmed me with an unparalleled sense of awe. After reading FOALF, I was no longer a loser or a bum. I became a winner, a god. The boys who once laughed at me now bowed in admiration, and the girls who pitied me now looked at me with desire. FOALF is transcendent literature that saved me from a life of misery and transformed me into someone worthy of respect and reverence.

it is quite good. could have some more world background but for the rest it is quite good.

Intresting.. this has potential [img=update]

I like it till now, though pacing is a bit slow but im expecting that since you are a new author and you have place for improvements. Im hoping youll make it to the top

worldbuilding: Let me say this in the nicest way possible: you're a newbie with great potential, but the worldbuilding isn't good, to be honest. I know why—you're trying to be like those other novels, the MTLs (Machine Translations) that cause brain rot. Do not try to be like them; they are terrible. Just look at LOTM (Lord of the Mysteries). The first 100 chapters are slow-paced, focused purely on worldbuilding, with no big fights or anything. You need to try to implement some info, even if it means info-dumping. Take it slow, build up, and Boom—make it climax. Character Design/Backstory: It’s easy to implement yourself into the MC if you’re using the first person, but it's hard to do it with other characters. For example, we don't know anything about his dad—add some depth, my boy! Quality over quantity. The best example of this is Portal 2. There are only two characters in the game, both AI, but they are written so well that they feel human. This might be a bad example because it's a game with pictures and stuff, but anyway—remember, QUALITY >>> QUANTITY. Writing: This isn't going to be a whole lot, but okay. To be honest, I don't know what to say about this one because, as I said before, I like the writing. Although it's fast-paced, slow it down, my guy. Do it. I like the way the novel goes, though. I didn’t say much here, but okay, now onto how the story develops. I already talked about this in worldbuilding, but who cares? Development of the Story: It's fast, WAY too fast. Like, he gets revived and stuff only in 16 chapters and fights too powerful enemies. SLOW IT DOWN. Anyways, I’m done.

Spoiler de revelação

I liked it I also want a gf__________________&&__&&&&&&&-✓¥{$[$=$=[$[$[$[%[$[%{{${%}% }%}*?*?#)#?#)@?#(?#?*?#?#?#?#??#)£!£!#)#?+#(#)#+#(#?!*!*!*

What an interesting story. The plot is good, the novel cover is simply amazing and the flow is good but somewhat lacking at the same time. Even so, the story is a good story in the end. (Let's talk on discord — my username is blackvoiddragon9. How did you get that novel cover of yours? It's simply beautiful.)

really impressive, awesome story, enjoyable to read. it was written in a way that makes it easy for readers to emphasise with the main character. i hope more comes soon!!! well done!!!!!!

Overall is great, but could use more context and use some vivid languages that allows us to be able to picture the scene in our mind. Looking forward to the next few chapters. Good job in developing this amazing story, and keep it up! [img=recommend]

Interesting story, Love Sci-fi and the combined theme with action and adventure + mystery is tuff. It has great potential I hope you’re gonna release some more later !!

An interesting premise and very much something I want to see develop more, keep it up!

Great storyline, it really pulls u into reading more , you can get a little repetitive with words so watch out for that, really great potential tho and i wld like to continue reading!!

It is truly remarkable. Overall, it is good, though it could use more context.. I think the characters are great and I really like how you started. could use a little more global context, but other than that, it is pretty good.

Great overall, Love the concept! The plot is decent and I love it. Love when a novel has Time Machine and I love mystery novels. The story has lots of potential and I hope this becomes famous one day

Honestly it’s great, but there’s room for improvement, but till now I like the story. I hope you will continue to write!