Chapter 107

"Where is he?" Dean asks, fidgeting with his hands nervously. "It's been hours."

"He just found out his boyfriend murdered his ex," Castiel reminds him. "I don't exactly share the experience, but I can imagine he doesn't want to come back out here and pretend everything's okay."

"Or maybe they're fucking as we speak," Dean mutters. "I mean, he's forgiven Lucifer for just about everything. I wouldn't be surprised."

"I don't think so," Castiel says. "I think Sam has learned his lesson. I only wish it could have been easier on him."

"And wish he could have learned it before all this went down," Dean says. "All right, I'm going to go talk to him."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Castiel says.

"What? Why?"

"He doesn't need someone to lecture him," Castiel says.

"I wasn't going to —"

"No, but you're going to sound very condescending, and that's not what Sam needs," Castiel says. "He needs someone who's going to sympathize with him."

"I can sympathize with him," Dean says indignantly.

"Not with your grudge against Lucifer."

Dean scoffs. "Of course I have a grudge against him. He's tried to kill us more times than I can count."

"Exactly," Castiel says. "Which is why we aren't going to try to cheer him up. We'll just make it worse."

"Worse than letting him sit in the dark all soon for the next week?"

"You don't know that he's —"

"Well, it's either that or he's fucking Lucifer again, and you don't seem to think it's the latter, so..."

"Then let someone else talk to him," Castiel says. "Someone who doesn't hate Lucifer as much as us."

"Like who?" Dean asks. "Michael? Something tells me he won't cheer Sam up much."

"No, of course not," Castiel says.

"Well, he and Gabriel are the only two who can even stand Lucifer, and Gabriel isn't hanging around right now, so..."

"Charlie?" Castiel suggests. "She can make anyone smile."

"Lucifer just threw her through a wall," Dean reminds him. "I don't know about that one."

"All right, um..." Castiel sighs. "I guess Lucifer doesn't have many friends here."

"Or anywhere," Dean mutters. "Is there anyone here who Lucifer hurt yet?"

Their question is answered when John walks out of the room. He barely knows Lucifer. He may be their best shot, as unfortunate as that is.

~~

John has the same idea, and heads off to Sam's room. He knocks on the door gently and waits for a response, but he doesn't get one. He knocks again, louder this time, but again, there's no response.

"Sam?"

Silence.

John opens the door slowly and looks inside. At first, he thinks Sam's not in there, but when his eyes adjust to the dark, he sees the boy sitting on his bed, his knees pulled into his chest.

"Hey," John says, quietly stepping into the room. He looks around for a moment before asking, "Can I turn on a light?"

There's a softly shuffling noise from Sam's bed. In a hoarse voice, he says, "Yes, sir."

John sighs. "You don't have to do that." He flicks on the light to find Sam sitting in bed, his covers pulled up over his face with only his red and bloodshot eyes showing. "Sam?"

Sam looks down to avoid his father's gaze.

"Do you, uh..." John gestures to his bed. "Do you mind if I sit?"

Sam hesitates, then says a quiet, "No, sir." He moves to give him room to sit down.

"You don't have to call me that," John tells him. "I'm your father, not your drill sergeant." His upbringing may convince him otherwise, but at least he has a second chance to right those wrongs. He takes a seat next to his son. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine," Sam mumbles.

"I'm sorry it had to go down that way," John says.

"Yeah."

"I know you thought you found something with him —"

"Don't."

"What?"

"Just..." Sam sighs. "Just don't. Please."

"Okay, okay," John says, backing down quickly. "Is there anything I can do?"

Sam just shakes his head.

"Are you sure?" John asks. "You don't want to talk, or...?

Sam shakes his head again.

"Okay, well, I'm always here," John says. "If you change your mind."

Sam nods.

"I know growing up, there was a lot on your plate," John says. "I wasn't always there for you when I should have been, and that may be my biggest regret. I don't want you to feel like you have to deal with everything yourself anymore. You can talk to me. About anything. Okay?"

Sam nods again.

John waits for a moment, but Sam doesn't say anything. Fighting back a sigh, he asks, "Do you want me to stay?"

Sam doesn't answer, but that's enough of an answer for him. He's too polite to say no, but it's obviously how he feels.

"All right, I'll leave you alone," John says. "But if you need anything, just let me know, okay?"

Sam just nods.

John pats his son on the shoulder gently. "I'm sorry, Sammy."

~~

"Dad?" Dean says as his father walks back in the room. "Can you..." He gestures for him to come over.

"Yeah, yeah, just —" John walks over to Mary first, taking her to see Dean and Castiel as well — though Castiel stands a few feet away, listening in but not quite part of the group.

"Can I ask you a favor?" Dean asks, a bit hesitantly. He's never really asked his father to do anything, but he's willing to try for Sam's sake.

"Yeah, sure, what's up?" John asks, making sure that he knows he can ask anything.

"I want to go check on Sam, but I feel like, with how I feel about Lucifer, I probably can't be what he needs right now," Dean says, neglecting to mention that Castiel was the one to think of that. "You're probably the only person here that Sam likes who doesn't really know Lucifer. Do you think you could go talk to him?"

"Actually, I just did," John says.

"Wait, really?"

John chuckles. "Yes, really."

"How's he doing?" Dean asks.

"Well, I know I haven't been around in a while, but I don't think I've ever seen him that broken up about anything before," John says.

"Why? What did he say?" Mary asks.

"Pretty much nothing," John says. "He was just sitting in the dark, and it looked like he'd been crying. He didn't say it, but I think he just wanted to be left alone."

"Do you think he's okay?" Dean asks.

"Right now, probably not," John says. "But he's gotten through a lot. I'm sure he'll bounce back. I just don't know how long it will take."

"Hopefully not too long," Dean says. "Lucifer's put him through hell, literally and figuratively. I hate that Sam let him do it again."

"Yeah, really," John says. "If it'll make you feel better, I'm sure one of you —" He glances at Castiel, trying to let him know that he's welcome in the conversation, "could probably go see him. He doesn't seem like he wants to talk, so your whole thing with Lucifer shouldn't make a difference."

"If he wants to be alone, though, let him," Mary says. "At least give him a little bit."

"Maybe I'll go check on him tomorrow," Dean says. "If he doesn't come out first. Maybe he just has to sleep it off."