Varli Divided

I don't own star wars

"You're giving me that look again…" I said suddenly, glaring at my brother as he held a bantha steak to his eyes, "It's not MY FAULT." I elaborated as Dausut pulled the meat away to show the magnificent shiner on his eye.

"The problem I'm having Seis, is that it is. This… ALL OF THIS!" he said, gesturing around us, "IS YOUR FAULT!"

I snarled at him, as a nearby body groaned on the floor. I pulled out my pistol and silenced him abruptly, "Is not!"

Dausut slammed the raw steak on the table and towered over me… I'll admit, ever since he outgrew me I've been a little intimidated by my little brother. But I know he'd never hurt-

He grabbed me by the neck and slammed me hard against the wall as Epta returned, wiping his knives off on his pants like a fucking savag- Urp! Right! Choking! "Not my fault…" he sneered, "Not my fault! Not my fault!" he tightened his grip around my neck, "Why are you in charge?" he growled coolly, and I was quickly losing consciousness, "Because you're the oldest? That's not a good enough reason." He dropped me as I gasped for breath. "Denial, finger-pointing, whining when you don't get your way, those are not the good qualities of a leader. My mother understood that…"

Epta looked between us nervously as I tried to stand up, lifting my blaster only for him to slap it away clattering towards a nearby body. "This was your fault Seis, it was a simple retrieval and you fucked it." He snorted sourly, looking around at all the dead bodies. "…I'm so tired of your bullshit… I should've stayed with mother."

"That's right go crying to moms!" I spat coldly, coughing as I stood up to him, "You were always the crybaby."

"Epta was the crybaby…" he replied, pointing to our littlest brother.

"Hey!"

"I was always the one bailing you out, watching your back, giving you ideas that you ignore!" he suddenly shoved past me, "I'm done… clean up your own shit this time."

"Where are you going!?" I spat angrily as Epta fidgeted, "Epta!" he shrieked at him and he frowned at me, fidgeting his knives, "Don't just stand there! Do something!"

Epta blinked at me, and something twitched in his eye, and he scowled… oh no.

"Dausut wait up!" he said scampering after his big brother, "I'm going with you!"

"What!?" I shrieked after them, "Epta!?"

"You're a bitch Seis!" he replied sourly, and soon my brothers were gone. Leaving me alone… in a ruined cantina, with a dozen or so dead bodies to keep me company. The shock of what had happened finally hit me, and I sunk into the closest chair… after I shoved the body of a rhodian out of it, sending it to the floor. I can't believe they ditched me! We were family! So what if I shot that guy for grabbing my ass!? He should've fucking known better! Fucking Dausut, Fucking Epta…" I grabbed a shattered bottle that still had some alcohol in it, sipping it down as the sharp edges cut my lip but I ignored it.

Ha! See how far they get without me… I'm not going back to our mothers. No fucking way. Bunch of crazy bitches who only want to fuck dad or shoot people. How is that any fucking different from me!?... I mean… other than the dad thing. I wouldn't mind the fucking thing just not with dad. Ugh… now that thoughts in my fucking head.

I drank more to drown them out, then I had another and another and another… what was I talking about?... where did I put the ship keys? "Dausut!? Did I give the ship keys?!" I shouted… too drunk to remember that Dausut was gone… Epta was gone… and I was drinking around a bunch of corpses…

They'll be back… they always come back… even if they never left me alone before… I sniffed, did sand get in my eyes? I was leaking… I glared at the dead man across from me as I threw the empty body at him. "This is all your fault!" I shouted, then taking another empty bottle I began beating him angrily. "Your fault! Your fault! Your FAULT!!!" I shrieked as the bottle broke and I began leaking more petulantly. "…My fault…" I growled angrily, whipping away the leaking. "Stupid… fucking assholes…" I stumbled back towards the bar, reaching over for another bottle as I began drinking.

I stumbled over a body and hit the ground, splashing everywhere as I cursed angrily at just about everyone…

"Holy crap what the hell happened in here?!" came a voice, "Is… anyone alive? Anyone need help? Damn, it's like Caradoc losing at Pazaak in here…" I looked up and groaned angrily, reaching for the bottle as some handsome redheaded dickhead appeared.

He suddenly went still, obviously stunned by my beauty… and of course ignoring the sudden vomit as I purge my system of alcohol. Because I chose to! Not because I was sick or anything.

"…Seis?" he said slowly and I blinked, wiping my lips with the back of my hand as I sat on my legs. He seemed to sigh to himself, apparently not too happy to be talking to me. "Are you… okay?" he asked.

"Of course I'm okay!" I shrieked at him, "My brother's didn't leave me alone in a bar full of dead assholes or anything!" I sniffed again, frowning as I tried to climb the bar. "Going back home to our bitches of mothers and… leaving me alone…" I grumbled, sitting down and wiping my eyes again with my other hand… I didn't need vomit on my face.

"…They left you alone?" he said, suddenly a little more… what was that word? Concerned. He seemed concerned… that felt weird… having someone be concerned about me. Especially a guy… who wasn't related to me. Not that we gave a crap about each other all that much. More like a symbiotic rivalry… Our moms weren't exactly the most nurturing, and dad was a pussy… which was ironic because moms only used him for his dick. And his accounting.

"They left me alone… took the ship… left me here…" I lay my head on the counter, "…Leave me alone." I said, just… tired at this point.

The cute redhead sighed and strangely he approached, "…I'm going to touch your arm okay? Don't hit me." I didn't care. He lifted me off the stool and let my arm wrap around his neck as he carried me from the bar. "…I'm going to regret this so much." He mumbled, "Come on. You can stay with us tonight…" he mumbled as I dragged my feet through the sands of tattooine.

"…I'm not sleeping with you…" I mumbled, my mouth filter destroyed by several bottles of top shelf alcohol, "No matter how cute you look…"

"Uh huh…" he replied unconcerned. "I'm just going to chalk that up to beer goggles." He wrapped his arm around my waist and lifted me up a little as I gained foot, "Wow… you're… really light, even with armor on."

"…Flattery won't get me to sleep with you…" I added. It totally fucking would, but I was playing hard to get. Guys liked that… I don't fucking know why.

"Okay. Just don't throw up on me alright? And if you have to throw up, aim down. Into the sand… that's what it's for."

"…You ever wonder why it's called throwing up when you're aiming down?" I mumbled, and surprisingly, he started to laugh. At first, I thought it was at me… but I think he thought it was funny.

"Not really…" he said still giggling, "I've never been drunk. I only turned eighteen like… a month ago. Who it hasn't been that long at all…" he led me up a ship ramp and almost immediately I heard blaster's priming. "Whoa! Whoa its okay! I brought her…"

A sexy Cathar and a damn pretty Twi'lek were aiming a modded bowcaster and a tri-barrel rifle at me respectively. I leaned on the cute redhead and grinned, "They are some sexy bitches… what did you do to land them?"

"Not helping. She's just spending the night." He said placatingly, "…She didn't have anywhere else to go."

The cathar shrieked angrily to the ceiling, and took me from my cute crutch, "Fine! Force damn it Killa help me get her in the shower, we'll sober her up first. Stay here!" she ordered the redhead.

…Killa sounded familiar, but my drunk brain didn't really make the connection.

"Our captain collects women like I collected trophies." The twi'lek grumbled shoving me into the shower. "You can take off your own clothes Seis." She spat, "…I haven't forgotten what your brother did to my ship!"

"You just said our Captain…" the cathar growled possessively as she walked out with the twi'lek, "Are you really planning on staying?"

"That contract for Babayaga was quite lucrative. I see no disadvantage to continuing our business partnership, besides Roland hasn't paid off his debt to Torga, I can help with that."

"By almost getting him killed?" the cather said, her distaste for the twi'lek obvious even with my deluged senses.

"The assassin was indeed unexpected, but it worked out…"

"You said she's Babayaga's exclusive hunter now!" the Cathar replied with annoyance, "And she showed interest in Roland! Is it the hair?!"

"…You do understand that his father was involved with, and married, multiple women right? Having multiple partners is normal for Roland. You should feel flattered, he has excellent taste."

"You… I… YOU…" she seemed to want to find words but was unable to think of good ones. I however was distracted by the sudden shock of cold water on my bare skin, the heat of tattooine and the sweat and anger washed away as it sleeked my skin. "I don't know if you're insulting me or complimenting me!"

"Well judging from your screams every other night, I also imagine he's quite talented." She said abruptly, "Rattletrap tells me it's all very enthusiastic…"

"Force damn it I told him to take out the cameras!" she hissed angrily. "What are you getting at? DO you want to sleep with him or something?"

"Well I have to admit I am… interested." She noted.

"Oh quit pussyfooting! Bang his brains out already…" I mumbled, shoving past them as I yawned drowzily, collapsing onto the large bed. "Hmmm… this is nice… what are these sheets made of?"

"And she's naked on my bed…" came the redhead's voice, turning away from my tight ass, "I'm… just going to leave her there…" he mumbled, "Caradoc says dinner's ready.

"Have Rattletrap lock her in here…" The cathar said with a bitter grunt to the twi'lek who shrugged and they all left together as I wrapped my arms around the pillow and began to squeeze. Taking in the rather alluring scent as I slowly shut my eyes…

…Dausut said I snored. But what the fuck did he know?

I suddenly jolted awaking, groaning as the alcohol came back to bit me in the ass. And by that I mean send throbbing painful headaches to my head over and over again as I stepped off the bed. Where the fuck was I? Then everything came back like a runaway speeder and I walked to the bathroom to retrieve my clothes.

…Killa was on this ship. I distinctly heard her name earlier so there was that. I could take her… if I felt like it. I didn't need Those traitors… where ever I was it was quiet. I frowned as I donned my gear, my blaster was missing. They obviously took it… or maybe I left it in the bar. Throwing on my armor and my coat I walked towards the door, only to find that it was locked. Shit.

"Hey! Ass holes!" ow fuck my head! "Force…" I hissed rubbing my head, "Hey! Let me out!" it clutched at my temples trying to keep my hangover in check. There was silence for a moment… I slammed the door again and flinched, maybe I should let the hangover cool before I go slamming things.

There was a low whistle followed by a "Good morning…" over a com I cringed as it amplified in my head, "Sorry." The voice said lowering quietly, "I haven't really used this thing all that much. I'll tell my bro you're up."

It wasn't long until the door opened and there stood Roland, and Killa, but only Killa was armed. Her signature tri-barrel blaster held on me from her hip, ready to fire. "Okay. Good morning." Roland said calmly, "Ready to go?"

"Go? Go where?" I grunted, shoving past the both of them annoyed with all of this. "…And do you have any coffee?"

Killa sighed as they followed me, I found the kitchen and paused as I saw a big, black-furred wookiee glaring at me from a wide couch. I ignored him and began looking from the sweet dark liquid that granted me relief from my morning pain. The wookiee growled in wookiee speak and Killa sighed again, "No. This is what happens when you invite Varlis into your home."

And great, my translator was broken again. I should've understood that wookiee who stood up from the couch and towered over me as I found a small can of ground coffee. The wookiee spoke again as I began to prepare it. "I can't understand you." I said abruptly, "My translators on the fritz." The wookiee snorted and gave out an echoing roar and soon a tiny Jawa appeared with a very realistic droid wearing minimalistic clothing. Before I even realized it my translator was plucked from my ear by the droid and handed to him. He began to fiddle with it, chattering in jawa before cheering it happily and handing it back to the droid, who handed it back to me, I put it back on.

"Can you understand me now?" the big wookiee said and I nodded.

"Yep."

"Good. Get off the ship." He snarled and I glared at him, before turning to the rather sheepish-looking Roland.

"You're kicking me off? Already?" I asked a little annoyed by the rudeness.

"Well…" he began hesitantly, "You're track record with me has so far been trying to turn me over to a woman named Crazy Candi with reckless abandoned." He said with a shrug, "And you blew up Killa's ship so she's stuck with me too…"

"Well she wants to sleep with you so she's probably not complaining." I noted flatly as he turned to look at Killa a little surprised, that was kinda funny.

"We'll talk about that later." Killa said, trying to move on as I sipped the sweet soothing nectar of the hangover gods. "Seis. Roland, against everyone's better judgement decided that you could stay the night. Nights over."

I looked at all of them, the only ones who didn't seem unhappy at my presence was the jawa and Roland… I frowned to myself. I didn't have my brothers, or a ship, very little money and no pay from that last failure of a job. I sighed and put the mug of coffee on the counter.

"…I… have a proposition." I said, hating every word coming out of my mouth. "…I need a place to stay for a while."

"Oh god damn it." The cathar said suddenly entering the kitchen and immediately becoming exasperated. "Why? What could you possibly have to offer other than manic insanity?!"

"That is a very vicious stereotyping of Rattataki!" I spat annoyed at her, but not untrue. "…I'll give you 60% of everything I earn if you give me rides. And you're the boss…" I said to Roland. I was tired of leading… I didn't want to deal with it anymore. If Dausut is so fucking smart then he can try and keep a leash of Epta, I'll just take my business elsewhere because I am NOT going home to mothers. "Whatever you say Roland, goes." Then for added fun, just to piss off the Cathar I added sultrily, "ANYTHING."

What? He was still a handsome fucker… it's hard to find a date when your brothers are Dausut and Epta.

Roland sighed, scratching his head as Killa and the Cathar glared daggers at him, but he shrugged. "…The sooner we get out of debt to Torga, the better. And she's still a bounty hunter, right? A few more jobs like Grack and we're in the clear."

The jawa cheered happily, "Sweet! Another babe!" Killa and the Cathar glared at him and he went silent, the droid standing imposingly between them and him, returning their glare. "Uh… never mind." He added sheepishly, "I'm going to go… place…" he said, and slipped into a vent in the floor as Roland began cooking.

I walked out of the kitchen, taking a deep sigh but Killa pressed her tri-barrel blaster into the small of my back and pushed me forward. "…What Roland tells you to do Seis. You do." She said calmly, "And one toe out of line and I fire all three barrels into you…"

"…You say the sweetest things." I replied, but nervously. That gun of hers has bisected people at close range… it's a horrible way to die. She shouldered it and walked away, letting her threat speak for itself and vanished around a corner.

…Looking around the ship itself… I realized I could do worse. We'll see how far this partnership goes. "Hey Seis do you want eggs?" Roland shouted from the kitchen and realizing I was still hungry and my brothers were terrible cooks, I returned to the kitchen.

And despite the glares that sexy Cathar, Nike I later found out, was giving me… it wasn't a bad start.

End of Chapter

Bonus.

"I thought you said we were going home to moms?" Epta whined behind me as we wandered through the jungles of Juggalo. Slashing a large bloodsucking insect in too as we went.

"I told Seis that because I wanted her to go home instead of follow us." I replied patiently, "…Besides I was telling the truth in a way."

It didn't take long to find what I was looking for, a small shack built high up in a cluster of trees. A familiar-looking woman rocked back and forth as she watched me and my brother approach.

The first Varli, our 'Grandmother' if you were so inclined to be technical, grinned almost affectionately down at me. "…Welcome home Dausut." She said smugly, "…Did you bring me a gift?"

End

The Sexy Rattataki Seis has a falling out with her brothers and joins up with Roland. Killa mentions she wouldn't mind a roll in the sheets! Dausut knows of his 'grandmother' and has even met her before! Shock! Romance! Intrigue!