Opposite

KHRYZ POINT OF VIEW

I can't help but to smile looking at my twin dancing with the man he loves so much. They are in the middle of the crowd embracing each other. Today they got married. And we are in the reception in a five star hotel. I'm happy for my twin. Getting the man he loves so much. I turn my gaze to the man who's happily talking to a girl. They seems so happy.

"Don't cry khryz today is your brother happiest day don't r-ruined it." But my tears doesn't listen. I stood up and went to the garden side of the hotel where the reception held. I sat to the swing and let my tears rushed down from my eyes.

Is it bad if I feel so envy to my twin right now?. He's happy while me? my heart is tearing apart. My feelings is opposite to kryp feelings right now. How pathetic right?. I just want to be happy.

I wiped it away right away when P'Ross seated besides me.

"You should be happy today is your brother's wedding." I chuckled.

"I'm happy for Kryp and for you. But I'm sorry I can't be happy for myself.." I said. He tapped my shoulder as if he knows what I'm talking about.

"Don't give up khryz. Sing will loves you back." I look at him with shocked expression. How? how he knows about it?.

"H-how?---"

"Your eyes telling it Khryz. The way you look at Sing is the way how I looked to your brother." I took a deep breath.

"But the difference between you and I. Kryp fall for you and now you are happily married while me?. I. I am only siing best friend nothing more, nothing let." My eyes began to feel watery indicates that any moment my tears will betray me.

"Why? look I've been looking to kryp from a far for almost five years before he knew that I love him."I give him a faint smile.

"I've been in love to Sing for 1O years. I started loving him at age of 15." P'Ross eyes grew wider.

"And you know what hurts me more?" Here we go again my tears streamed down.

"He knows it. I-i'd aways showing that I love him."

"Did he reject you?" I chuckled as I shrug my head.

"He didn't tell me that he doesn't like me but he always answering me with that f*cking thank you."

"I'm tired P'Ross.. I'm tired pursuing him.. I'm tired crying.. I am tired loving him.."

"In love... you cannot just get tired Khryz.." I chuckled

"I'm not tired of him.. I'm tired to be hurt... I know it's part of love but it doesn't mean you can endure all the pain. I have a limitation too..."

"Loving someone isn't that tiring....". Do you know what's tiring?.. Getting hurt. It's too tiring to get hurt by the same reason."

"I know. I'd experienced that." He traces his scar in his wrist. The scar of his pain.

"S-sometimes giving up is the answer." I almost whispered.

"Are going to be happy if you give up twin.." I looked up and there I saw my twin. I give him a small smile

"I-i need to. B-because it's m-my choice. He's m-my happiness b-but that happiness, it's too hard to reach. M-maybe I need to find the happiness t-that's for me."

"How?" I get the list inside my pocket. The list we made together. I made with sing. Our dreams destinations.

"When?"

"Tomorrow." Kryp hugged me tightly that makes me cried harder.

"It will going to be hard for you. But I am here for you. Big brother.." I smiled. We're twins but I like treating Kryp as my youngest brother.

"It's hard to let go. It will pain me but it's beautiful to be free." I utter. One day I will be free. This feelings will be gone and I will be happy.

"I'd say a countless I love you but he gives me countless thank you."

"A-and it's enough. This feeling needed to stop." They give me a smile. Smile of assurance that I can make it.

***

"Call me anytime bal." Kryp said. We are now in the airport. I am with Kryp and his husband P'Ross. They are going to Korea for their honeymoon. While me. I'm going in the first place listed in our list.

"P'Ross take care of my twin brother. I can feel if you hurt him" P'Ross saluted to me. They bid a last goodbye as their flight announced.

"This is the final boarding call for passengers booked on flight 143A to Hawaii. Please proceed to gate 3 immediately. The final checks are being completed and the captain will order for the doors of the aircraft to close in approximately five minutes time. I repeat. This is the final boarding call for passengers booked on flight 143A to Hawaii. Thank you." As I heard that announcement. I hold tightly my luggage and proceed to the boarding area.

When I entered in the airplane. I immediately find my seat and settle down.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Flight 143A with service from Thailand to Hawaii. We are currently third in line for take-off and are expected to be in the air in approximately seven minutes time. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for take-off. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones. Smoking is prohibited for the duration of the flight. Thank you for choosing this airline. Enjoy your flight." In any minutes I will leave my country and I don't have any idea how long it will take me to go back. I grab my phone and call him.

("Hey, bro.. Why did you call so early? Damn! my head is hurting because of the drinks last night.--") I cut his words.

"I've been showing you my feelings. I've been always here for you. But it's tiring.. I'm tired. I'm so tired and I don't want to love you anymore.." I heard how his breath because heavy.

"Maybe this is my last call for you. Thank you for being my best friend. I will try to move on. No, not a try but I will definitely do it. This is the last time I will say I love you." I end the call. I turn off my phone. Tumingin ako sa labas. Any moment my new journey will start. I new journey for myself and for my happiness. I will never regret it. Because I did everything to make him fall for me. I've done everything to make him fall for me for almost 10 years. But I think when a person really doesn't for you even you did everything he will be never be yours.

"Goodbye sing.."