Again

I did not reply to her.

Or I do not even have the guts to reply to her.

I know. Others might say that it is just for a simple meeting but it is more than that.

This woman I should be meeting is named Sarah and our relationship is quite complicated.

Sigh!

I should think things through from now on. But I always do thorough thinking, is it not a good thing to loosen up a bit by drinking?

I will think of some things to make it up to her later.

I better send her a text.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

'Good Morning babe. I apologize if I hurt you again. I know it is hard for you to trust me fully. But I messed up again this time, I got so drunk last night from out team familiarization and was not able to meet you this morning. Please allow me to make it up to you when I have free time during this company expansion that I told you about.'

Sent (Shaun) to (Sarah)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yes. I did not call her to explain what happened because I know her well. She will only believe what she thinks. But I know that she will cool down in time. She knows that I am busy as well so I will make sure to find time.

After sending the text, I hurriedly got up and put on my clothes. Luckily, I did not vomit on them or maybe Dianne already undressed me before I made a mess out of my shirt.

I feel very thankful to her and while she is still in the shower I also had to go to my room to freshen up and go back to the office.

'Dianne! Thank you for taking care of me. I will go to my room now!', I shouted while walking my way out of the room.

I did not wait for her reply and just closed the door. Then I got to my room and can only scratch my head again when I recall what I did.

Have I been so dumb now that I read room 307 as 301?

What an embarrassment!

Luckily it was Dianne's room or things could have gotten way different if it was other people's room.

And with what happened between Dianne and I, it is hard to explain to it myself. Things just happen very past that it is alarming.

I know it is not okay for me to get those kinds of things from other women whose not the one I love but Dianne is irresistible.

Firstly, she is a coworker and even my secretary and it would be hard to avoid her.

Secondly, I am not sure if it is just me but I do not really feel that guilty when Dianne gave me blow j*bs. Why do I feel this way? Am I going back to that state again?

Third, this reason is a bit twisted , but I kind of do not want Dianne to lose her innocence to other men. I do not want it for myself but I do not want it for others for the reason that majority of men will just vanish after getting what they want. Perhaps, I want to protect Dianne like a big brother.

But it is really twisted. I feel like a big brother. But why do I allow her to give a blow j*b to her big brother.

Do I have a split personality?

Or do I just have a suppressed maniacal side that comes out when I feel lust?

It is very complicated. For the people who is thinking that I am a beast, I can't argue. But I can ask the same, do you know if your self is still rational when you are making love? Or when you feel lust? I do not think so.

I hate this feeling of uneasiness and over thinking.

So I took a deep breath and went to the shower to cool my head down.

The next day came . . .

We are now to start our preparations for the expansion and the temporary director has delegated some tasks via email already.

I told Dianne to ping all the Architects who handles sub teams to gather on the meeting room beside my office.

Then I disseminated their tasks one by one.

After a short forum about the objectives being targeted by each teams, the meeting was ajourned.

In my office . . .

I was like a statue. With my head on the headrest of my chair and my feet on my desk, I kept on staring at the ceiling.

'Ehem. Could you be thinking of how sexy I look sir?'

I was startled when I heard that.

I was really in deep thought during that time that I did not even notice someone coming inside the room.

'I am sorry to disturb your peaceful time sir. I came in to report the things that we accomplished today with some challenges that other teams encountered.', Dianne added.

'It is fine Dianne. Thank you. And you are getting foxy now huh? I do not like getting experimented at but since it is you, I will let it pass.', I replied with a laugh.

'Wow. This is the first time that you smiled or laughed today sir. Are you okay?

And I am not experimenting sir. A friend of mine told me how to be a lady of class. So she said that being timid and all cute is not the way to go on getting lover of someone like you. She said I needed to be headstrong because people like you likes to be challenged.', Dianne told.

'Hahaha! You have a grown a lot as a person Dianne. And who ever that friend of yours, she is very crafty, but not all people are like that, I suggest that you show your true self.

I am quite tired for today. I will just take a nap here in the couch so just leave all the reports on the desk. I will check them out first thing tomorrow. Thank you Dianne.', I replied.

I surely I am tired for the day. Dianne left all the reports on the desk and got out of my office.

I laid down on the couch and a few minutes later, my eyes closed.

I did not know how many hours I slept but I was awoken by a familiar thing in the resort last time.

Yes! Someone is getting a feel for my crotch area again.

Why is this happening?

I panicked and hurriedly got up. And during the process, I hit the person's jaw with my knee.

Ouch!

I saw that the person was Dianne.

'I am sorry Dianne. I was shocked so I panicked. Hehe.', I said apologetically.

'My bad sir. I should not creep up to you like this but I do not know why you said something about me when I got inside the room sir.

You said something like I am very sexy and good at giving you oral s*x. You also groaned in expectation to take it further. So I was not able to stop myself from feeling your crotch area.', she replied.

What?!!! I said those things while sleeping?

Nooo! This is getting serious now. Am I really going back to my dark days?

'I see. Please do not mind that Dianne. It is just a thing men say in their dreams. I dreamt of what happened last time when I had the short nap, just nevermind. I do not think this is a healthy thing. We should stop. And why are you here?', I spoke with seriousness.

'I also do not know why sir. I just had the urge to check on you and I was right, you are still here. I thought you were cold or something so I came to check on you. I really do not have other intentions.', she meekly replied.

Seeing that she really brought a blanket for me, my heart warmed.

'And I did expect for you to say that. I know in my self sir that I am not an easy girl. But if it is you, I really can't be strong. And hearing those things you said while in your sleep, I can't avoid feeling hope that there should be a chance for me and you.', she added while having teary eyes.

Why is this escalating to such a degree? Why?

I took a very deep breath and chose not to explain.

I told her to not mind the things I said. I thanked her for waking me up and told her that I will treat her for tea in the company cafeteria after sorting my stuff.

She nodded in confirmation and waited on the visitor's chair.

I checked everything on my desk and also checked my phone.

Then I saw a reply from Sarah.

Clack! I dropped my phone on the table.

What? Is Sarah for real?

She is breaking up with me, again?

Nooo. This can't be happening.

I hurriedly tried calling her but it was directed straight to voicemail.

I left a voicemail saying that we need to talk things out and call me when she receives it.

I was devastated. In my sorrow, I even forgot that Dianne is around.

I can't process the sudden decision that Sarah made.

Is she still punishing me because of the sin I did to her in the past?

I walked towards my couch and did not say anything. I am in so much pain.

I may look tough but the matters of the heart are very hard for me.

Laid down on the couch again, I can only put my hands on my face that is about to cry.

Not long after, I felt someone sitting on my side and held my hands.

'I do not know what happened sir but please know that I am here for you as a friend. If you want to talk about it, I am here to listen.', Dianne comforted.

I did not know what got into me. But what came after is something I honestly can't explain.

I held Dianne's right hand which touched the hands on my face.

I got up slowly and kissed her lips.

Kiss!

I guess Dianne was dumbfounded with what I did but after a slight pause, she also responded.

We kissed again, and a very fiery and passionate one at that.