Motherly Love

"I had a bright future ahead of me, a career, a whole new world. If I had stuck around, I'd be a star today. And what does your father have? And what have you given me?"

I remember those words vividly, and my mother's face turned away towards the window, as I sat at her bedside. She went on with that but this is as much as I remember. I don't think I listened to the rest, even though I was sitting right there. I knew how she hated everything, all the while my father loved her even though she was like this. As for me, I was a failure of a son, without magic and without a shred of talent for anything whatsoever. She must have seen her failure reflected in me too, so she couldn't stand me in particular.

I don't exactly remember when she died. My father didn't let us in the house that whole day. Unlike my brothers that had friends to keep company, I was left alone to wonder what had happened. I think a part of me knew. When we did go home later that day, I remember seeing my father's brutally haggard face and thinking he'd aged decades in a single day. My mother died early in the morning. I only reached that conclusion after seeing her vacant bed. I never bid her farewell. My father visited her regularly but he never took any of us with him. To be honest, I never understood my mother. I never understood my father's love for her either. I think there's a hole that will always remain, for me, never to be understood.

*************

Ema and Lubbock stood facing each other. I noticed thin streaks of tears rolling down Doctor's cheeks. She had a stubborn expression on her face, refusing to give way.

"I won't let you pass", she declared in a low voice.

Lubbock stood unfazed.

"I don't intend to pass", he answered.

Meanwhile, the land and sky that was only glitching earlier began to transform even more. This time, I realized, the chunks were getting deleted instead of just glitching. Lubbock noticed too. For now, at least, we were at a safe distance but it wouldn't have been long before it caught up to us.

"You are freeing up a lot of space, Ema. Where are you planning to use that processing power, I wonder."

Even though he said that, he knew very well from the look on her face that her sole purpose right now was to somehow stop Lubbock or kick him out of the system. She erected a field around her and Lubbock, locking him inside.

"Two can play at this game, you know", Lubbock countered the field with a variation of his own.

Doctor crafted herself something like a gun out of nothing and pointed it at Lubbock. Lubbock too summoned a shield.

"Seraph!", just before the two collided, he looked over his shoulder and called out to me, "I'm leaving the rest to you!"

"No, you don't!", Ema intended to stop me but Lubbock wasn't letting her leave.

I understood the assignment, of course, and seeing as the two wouldn't be letting go of each other any time soon, I had no reason to wait. Not to mention, if the deleting chunks caught up to me, who knows what would have happened.

I hurried off towards the town. There was no one there anymore. Doctor had aborted their connections to conserve the processing power of the server. Shamballa looked a lot like Agartha now.

I was soon standing in front of Doctor Ema's lab. The whole basement had something of a putrid odor to it now. I wonder if it had always been there and I had simply failed to notice. It was still as dark as ever. I entered her room where her rickety rusted bed lay with white sheets. I always spared it a glance whenever I entered her room. Now I could see nothing but failure written all over that place. I couldn't tell how long, but from what Lubbock had mentioned about them being the first and only generation of Shamballa, I could confer that Doctor had been here a very long time. And all this time she'd had a singular goal.

There were still questions that I hadn't found an answer to, but I told myself it was better to leave them unanswered. After all, Lubbock was putting his life on the line too. I had to hurry and shut down the server. I was just thinking about it when I felt the ground beneath my feet disappearing. I almost fell on my back, moving backwards to see what was happening. But there was no safe space, the whole ground disappeared for a second.

"It's glitching!", I thought to myself.

I began wondering if Lubbock was alright. I no longer knew what was happening. If it was glitching here so close to the server, was there anything at all remaining outside? And if so, was it wise to destroy the server now of all times?

Before I could reach a conclusion, I hurried towards the door that seemed to be coming off it's hinges. I flung it open and walked inside. I scrutinized the room. The stone table where Serena was supposed to be lying was empty now. The server seemed functional enough, with the pipes gurgling, and little screens flashing with various broken strings of data. Suddenly I heard a bunch of sparks just behind me. I turned around to find Serena with half her face still gone, standing with a bunch of wires hanging out of her head.

"Serena", I stood facing her.

She remained silent. Even though she was a sad spectacle, I knew she wasn't just goofing around anymore. I could sense the underlying hostility she held. At the same time, I could almost hear her screaming.

Had her mother loved her? Or had she been putting her through this misery for her own gratification? Was it her salvation she desired or her misery? Was this mother any different from my own? More importantly, if my mother could have inflicted such repetitive torture on us, would she have done so? It was so clear to me, a stranger, that Serena's suffering was overwhelming. So, by all means, Doctor Ema must have realized it too.

Is this what all motherly love is like, after all?