EPISODE 44: Mad!*

Help has arrived yesterday, one hour after the Professor's sudden appearance. How dare she even shows herself to me even after realizing how angry and infuriated I am to her. Throughout my journey back to the island yesterday, I remain snobbish, looking at the windows of the helicopter rather than noticing my two persistent friends who try to calm me.

At the helicopter yesterday, I remembered Matori. Her image appeared on my mind all of a sudden, not knowing why it would even be there. Perhaps it is because her "loving" sister mentioned her name. I am uncertain if I should believe Violet's backstory or not mind it all. A lot of people have lied to me, and now, it is hard to trust them, especially that exasperating Giovanni.

Back in Rocket Island, as expected, the professor and the executives were disappointed at us. It was as if our report gave them an unbearable headache. I was afraid that they would demote me, however, I stood corrected. Even if we failed the mission, Charlotte was able to bring back the smiles of the four detectives, and also the professor's.

She showed the four of them two more pieces belonging to the puzzle, leaving us with five more. Although we were not able to claim Articuno, perhaps Moltres and Zapdos will be fine for us. We still have two more opportunities, but, I will be more cautious this time after the interruption of the Rebirth Society in our previous mission.

Quickly, the professor grabs the pieces from Charlotte's grasps and couldn't wait but to analyze them. Research is somewhat like a fun hobby to her as for me it is a pain in the head. Seeing the pieces, I was also astounded, but I kept my shut since I was too embarrassed to talk in front of the executives.

My anger continues up to this point, early in the morning. It is as if I want to forget everything, not remembering the events that happened yesterday. Even in my sleep, I wanted to forget, but my mind does the opposite and persists to echo the memories pertaining to my previous mission.

I feel embarrassed for failing, especially when the executives have high expectations for me. I've never fought such a rival(Ebony) before. Her very existence is an insult to mine. I thought I was the only one, but she has proven me wrong. There are a lot of people similar to me, and she is only one of them.

"Luna, banging your head on the wall will only give you pain," Virgo utters, watching from above her bed. She stares down to the floor, watching me bang my head on the wall as if I was bored or something.

"Is it because of Ebony? Or Violet? Or perhaps both?" She questions.

"Both," I reply, continuing to bang my head on the wall.

"Why so serious about failure? It doesn't mean if you lose now, you'll lose later doesn't it?"

"I don't know."

"I'll take that as sarcasm."

"Sure."

Seconds turn to minutes, and my head starts to feel dizzy with all this banging. I stop for a moment, punching the wall instead of banging my head. My anger reaches its limits. It is the beast inside me, waiting to be spewed out, unleashed from its restraints, free from its deepest chambers.

"I should have killed her when I had the chance," I yell to the wall, exhaling and inhaling deeply.

"Is everything about you killing?" She questions, taking her eyes off the book she is currently reading and tilting them towards me.

"I failed the mission, twice in a row. That only happens once in a blue moon. Professor Violet, I knew I should've ended her back in the cave but something was pulling me, telling me not to." My voice calms as I lean my head unto the wall.

"You're not a failure and you need to quit telling yourself that you could have avoided failing because no successful person ever avoids the pain in hopes for the gains."

"The thing is, I was not scared to hurt anyone before, but now? Why am I afraid? Ebony has a point when she said I had a soft heart for showing pity to Uno. I even killed my mother, that's how confident I was before, but now, I'm scared."

"Perhaps it is because you've lost hope on believing someone?" Virgo assumes. Hearing her words, I remember Giovanni's image.

"Giovanni." I murmur.

"What about him?"

"It's nothing," I reply, still avoiding the truth to her. I no longer trust Giovanni, but I believe she still does. Perhaps it is because I've lost hope in him which caused my resentment to cool over the ages. Still, if Virgo's assumption is correct, wouldn't that make my psychological disorder gobbledygook? I have multi-personality, and there's no off switch to that.

"Anyways, forget about the failure's mission. You don't drown by falling in water but by staying in there right? Cheer up, and try to do something positive for once. This Elite Operative stuff is making you too serious."

"You're right. I'm going to groom my Pokemons, it's been a long time since their last groom." My madness has calmed, and the storm in my mind turns into zephyr as the waters become gentle. I stretch my hands to the ceilings, returning to my bed afterward in order to groom my Pokemons.

I won't allow the Rebirth Society to claim the remaining mirages. They may have the upper advantage now, but I will be the one to turn the table. Luckily, the executives still trust and believe in me.