Obligatory ROB Experience

"..." Speaking

'...' Thinking/Quoting

'*...*' Speaking over Communication Device/Telepathy

[...] Attack Name

.~.~.~.

"The hell am I?" I asked into the void.

The last thing I remembered was watching the latest episode of One Piece where Luffy finally awakened his Devil Fruit. The Human-Human Fruit, Mythical Varient, Model: Nikka. This new power gave Luffy an amazing powerup by granting him toon-force, which he used to largely toy with and bully Kaido after he got done jumping around laughing like an idiot.

"The last thing I remember was the episodic 'To Be Continued' screen at the end... Did I fall asleep? Is this a dream?" I thought for a moment before reaching my hand out forward and... "The fuck happened to my hand!" I screamed.

Myhand was now ghastly white and partially translucent. It even gave off small motes of light as I waved it back and forth. Seeing as my hands were so strange, I looked down towards the rest of my body, only to notice the same thing with the rest of it. I was naked and every part of my body looked like my hand did. I felt a lot like a ghost from a video game in that regard, though the fact I still had my son with me was a small miracle that I'd cherish.

After a few more moments of inspecting myself and looking around, I finally began to calm down and rationalize my situation. I wasn't asleep. My mind was far too rational and clear for that. I wasn't on earth anymore, since VR technology hadn't developed enough for a prank like this to be feasible and I wasn't famous enough nor did I have enough friends for someone to pull something like this.

A thought entered the back of my head. 'Am I dead?' I asked myself, a small wave of panic overcoming me. I took a few deep breaths, not realizing that I wasn't actually breathing before this, calming my seemingly ethereal nerves.

"Whoo~ No problem. I'm not dead... or maybe I am, but I am still conscious... so that's nice, I guess. What's next?" I asked the room.

I wasn't exactly a 'practicing' Christian, but I did still hold out some expectations for me to go to heaven after death rather than hell, though if I was being honest, reincarnation into an anime world like in the fanfics I read occasionally was an attractive alternative, though those typically started with the meeting of a ROB, though I was alone.

"I'm going to lose my mind if death is just sitting in a blank void forever and no religion got it right," I said aloud.

"Actually reincarnation is pretty common, though the multiverse is so infinitely vast that the chances of two beings meeting on accident are astronomically small." A voice from behind me stated.

"Yah!!!" I squealed in surprise, turning around to see my assailant.

"Hahahahaha! That was funny!" The handsome man behind me laughed.

It took me a moment to calm my thumping heartbeat, though if I were still in my right mind I'd have questioned the fact I even had a heartbeat. Afterward, I looked at the man in front of me. He was extremely handsome, like, supernaturally so. He had long straight white hair, piercing violet eyes, and a perfectly proportional face. If Adonis was jealous of someone for how handsome they were, it was this guy without a doubt. It was actually a bit unsettling and uncanny how handsome he was.

I had to shake my head several times to clear up my thoughts, as focusing on how handsome he was made me sound gay, and I wasn't. It was then that I noticed something.

"Wait... why are you like... normal when I am like this?" I asked.

The man raised an eyebrow at that question before seemingly realizing what I was talking about a moment later. "Oh, right. I'm a Spiritual Lifeform, which means my body is like this whereas you were a mortal before, yeah?" He asked.

It was my turn to be taken aback for a moment before slowly nodding. "That's what I thought. basically, my physical body and spiritual body fused together so I can keep mine whereas yours stayed separate so when your physical body died, your spiritual body and soul became-" He waved his arm at me "-like that." He finished.

Unlike what some fanfic protagonists think, it wasn't hard to understand the 'why' or 'how' of what was happening, moreso it just left me with more questions as to what he meant by those terms. I could vaguely piece together that I had somehow died and that this person was here to explain to me the reasons why. I tried to hide the smile that was growing on my face as I was literally talking to a ROB right now, but I was probably failing judging by the feeling in my cheeks.

The man in front of me noticed this and tilted his head to the side in confusion. "What's up? Why are you smiling there for?" He asked.

"Nothing, I was just so excited and happy for my own ROB isekai experience that I can barely contain myself," I said happily.

The man's eyes went wide as I said that before he began laughing loudly. "Hahahaha! That's right! I guess from your perspective I AM a ROB!" He said, laughing to himself.

"From my perspective?" I asked.

"No, no. It's fine. For all that's relevant I guess I'm your guy, though my name is Alaster." He said.

"Alaster? Like the demon?" I asked, now slightly worried about the integrity of my soul and future prospects.

I could see a predatory glint in Alaster's eye briefly as he opened his mouth to say something. He probably wanted to offer me a deal to save myself in exchange for eternal service to him or something. Thankfully, just as he was about to say something he was suddenly bonked on the head by an absolutely gorgeous woman with long white hair and golden eyes. She was every bit as beautiful as Alaster was handsome and I instantly found myself being forced to to look away before I'd fall in love at first sight.

"Don't scare the kid. His spiritual body is too fragile and one of your pranks might destroy him. Just being here is slowly dissolving him." She said her voice like melodious bells.

Alaster huffed for a moment before straightening himself out. "Alright. You win. I won't play any pranks." Alaster said.

I looked over at him and smiled awkwardly. "Sorry about that. To make it up to you, I guess I'll grant you a few wishes... within reason. I AM a ROB after all!" Alaster said puffing up his chest and sounding smug.

"You're just happy you got to play the ROB since you didn't have one." The woman said.

"Now now. That might be true, but if I did then I'd probably never have met you, my lovely snowglobe. I'd have a harem with Eveyln and maybe even Luminous by now." Alaster said flirtatiously.

The woman blushed and looked away, pouting. "Let's just be done with this already. I need to go rescue Veldora sooner or later. I didn't think it was possible for him to be trapped in a Pokeball." She moaned. "Wasn't even a master ball."

"Huh? Luminous? Veldora?" I asked, looking at the two of them. They stared back at me for a moment before the woman turned to look at Alaster. "This is your problem." And disappeared.

Alaster smiled awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah~ The thing is... I kinda reincarnated into the world of Tensura before I became... well this." He said, motioning towards himself with his hands.

"Isn't that the Slime Anime?" I asked. I'd watched the show but never read the light novels.

"Well yeah, but I reincarnated almost 3,000 years before canon so not much of it left after my meddling. I even married a True Dragon. That was my wife Velzard." Alaster stated.

"Oh. Wild." I said, trying to wrap my mind around the fact that my ROB was also a previously reincarnated person.

"Anyway, we are almost to your destination. Make your wishes quick! Remember, within reason!" Alaster stated, snapping his fingers to show promptness.

"Oh, uh. Well. Where am I going?" I asked.

Alaster looked above us and I did the same. For the first time in the entire trip through the void, I noticed a small light above us. It felt like it was getting closer slowly but I couldn't quite catch what it was, though I guessed it was my 'destination'.

"Oof. One Piece." Alaster mentioned.

I looked at him worriedly. "Is that bad?" I asked.

"Well you'll never get reality-altering powers and will be capped at roughly planetary strength, so you probably will never become a spiritual lifeform like me, though I did have to go through hell for this power so... pros and cons." He stated matter of factly.

"Can I change that?" I asked.

"Nope. The process requires physical, mental, and spiritual growth as well as taking in a large amount of magical power of some kind but Haki and Devil Fruits don't really count and I'm not going to collapse the balance of the One Piece world just because you asked for it." Alaster said.

I wanted to click my tongue. That probably meant I couldn't ask for things like the Essences from the Essence META CYOA. It probably also meant I couldn't ask for something like abilities from Naruto or other franchises. The light was fast approaching now and I had the feeling Alaster wasn't going to stick around once I'd entered my new reality.

"Can I wish to go somewhere else?" I asked quickly.

"Nah, you're stuck in this thing's pseudo-spiritual gravitational pull," Alaster admitted. "Your spiritual body, the one your using now, isn't durable enough for me to pull it out, and I'm not killing trillions of people to blow up his reality to move you somewhere else." He stated.

"Fine... Can I at least get some boons when I arrive?" I asked.

"Sure, why not. I'll give you any Devil Fruit you want, though the more I change things for you, the more the world will change. Do you read comics? It's kinda like how Flashpoint changed things ever so slightly." Alaster stated.

"Can I get Luffy's Devil Fruit then?" I asked.

"Nope. I don't want you messing with Luffy if possible. Lots of people would die without him." Alaster said.

"You're a ROB, why do you care? Also can't you do something about that?" I asked.

"I'm not out here trying to save everybody, but I won't be responsible for extra deaths on my hands through my actions. I also won't clone the Fruit for you since it goes against the spirit of the world and may destabilize it." Alaster explained.

I groaned. I wasn't a fan of his logic bu it was probably not the best idea to piss off this reality warper, especially since it seemed he was going to give me wishes because he wanted to, not because he was obligated to. "Well, then I wish for Enel's Devil Fruit!" I asked, feeling the pull from the light above.

"Easy!" Alaster said, snapping his fingers.

"What will happen in Skypeia if I have Enel's Fruit?" I asked.

Alaster looked up towards the light again. It was very close now, blocking out all of the darkness of the void that was around me before.

"Looks like Ganfall will create peace with the Skypeians. The Straw Hats will arrive, cause some trouble, fight Wiper, and then ring the bell... holy crap they'll even get a ton of treasure from the Golden City. The Thousand Sunny will be huge!" Alaster said, smiling as if excited.

"Great to know, now can we please get on to my other wishes!" I said, feeling like I only had a few more moments until I entered the light.

Alaster smiled awkwardly. "Yeah, go for it." He said.

"I want Oden's natural level of Strength," I said.

"I'm not sure who that is, but done." He said.

"You haven't- Nevermind, not enough time." I silently cursed. Apparently, Alaster hadn't seen Wano yet.

"I want all three types of Haki!" I said.

"Done, though the Conquerers one may alter your personality a bit, is that fine?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's fine." I didn't have time to worry about the consequences of a 'minor' change to my personality.

"i want to stay a man!" I hurriedly explained.

"Already did it. Also, don't worry about the timeline. I won't have you go through what I did and not knowing the future due to going back too far. You'll be born just before the Great Pirate Age, let's have you in... 1499, yeah that's good." Alaster said.

"Great! Now I want a good teacher and talent!" I asked

"Done, though it looks like you've only got one more wish before you enter," Alaster said.

"Uhh..." I was drawing a blank. The panic had set in and the restriction on my wishes in addition to the time crunch was making me unable to sort through my thoughts quickly enough. Maybe I should ask for a place to land so I can grow up safely. The Goa Kingdom wasn't a bad place to start out with this would be before Luffy was born so my chances of becoming a 'brother' of his were low, and I didn't want Garp dragging my ass to Marine HQ the moment he found out about my Lightning Logia. i was going to be a Pirate, not a Marine or Cipher Pol Agent. Additionally, the place I wanted to land should have at least one or two of them to start with. "Waifus," I said what I was thinking out loud.

Alaster looked at me for a second before laughing. "I can alter a few things to grant you some, don't worry!" He said.

"No wait that wasn't what I meant-" I was cut off by the feeling of water surrounding me as the light fully engulfed my body.