A Liar?

Viper and the rest landed on a island, Luffy hopped off the boat and looked around. The group heard bushes rustling and looked up, and dozens of pirate flags appeared along with a young man with an extremely long nose.

The young man said "I am the great Captain Ussop, and I protect this island! I have 8 quadrillion men under me, leave of face the consequences!" Viper said "Excuse me, but there aren't even 8 quadrillion people on this planet, so if you've somehow made robots... Actually even then it would probably take dozens of years even if you had a factory and it woul-" Nami cut him off and said to Ussop "You're lying." Ussop yelped and said "She found out!" Nami facepalmed and said "And you just admitted it, i'd say you have around three." three kids ran off screaming, and Viper said "Oi, Nami why do you keep cutting me off." Nami waved him off and said "Who knows when you'd finish your rants" Viper opened his mouth and shut it and grumbled "Damn witch..."

Ussop pointed his slingshot at them and said "Even if I don't, I'm better with a slight shot than anybody is with a pistol." Luffy tilted his hat over his eyes and said "Now that you've drawn your weapon, you'd better be ready to put your life on the line." Zoro smirked and slid half his katana out of his sheath, Viper fully transformed and hissed, Ussop started sweating and dropped his slingshot and said "AH A MONSTER!" Viper sighed and went into his hybrid form and said "Not that I hate being called a monster but I have a name you know." Nami giggled and sat on his tail, and started rubbing his feathers, causing him to hiss happily.

Ussop looked down and Luffy said "You really look like a pirate I know, his name is Yassop." Ussop said "You know my dad?!" Luffy nodded and Ussop slid down the cliff and started talking to Luffy as they slowly made their way towards the village. Viper slithered and picked up Zoro before following after Luffy and Ussop, on their way Viper said "Anybody wanna bet on this guy being our next crewmate?" Nami said "Really?" Zoro said "I'll put 10 beri on him coming along." Viper said "Same here." they both looked at Nami, she sighed and said "I guess I have to put it on him not coming." Viper and Zoro grinned and Viper caught up with Luffy and Ussop. Viper slid around Ussop and Luffy hopped on his back, as Viper said "So Ussop, you gonna hop on the monster train or are you gonna walk?" Ussop hesitated and Luffy dragged him on, as Viper slithered towards a bar in town.

The group was sitting at a table, and Ussop was listening to Luffy talking about his dad when Luffy said "Oh yeah, do you know where we can get a ship?" Ussop said "No" Nami mused "We could probably get one from that mansion over there" as she pointed out the window. Ussop snapped "No! Don't got there! Speaking of which I gotta go, i'll see you guys later!" and he ran out the door. Viper said "What was that about?" before 3 kids ran into the bar and pointed wooden swords at the group and said "What did you do to our captain?!" Luffy ignored them and patted his stomach "Man that was some good meat!" the kids paled and Zoro grinned at them and said "We ate him!" Viper turned his eyes to slits and showed his fangs as he hissed "I would rather have some of you, though." the kids yelped at screamed at Nami "AH A witch!" Nami snapped "I'M NOT A WITCH!" as Zoro and Viper laughed. The kids calmed down and explained that Ussop goes to the mansion to lie to the girl inside because she's always sick and sad. Viper said "Sounds like she's depressed, maybe his lying is helping her." Nami nodded and Luffy said "Alright lets go to the mansion!" everybody turned to Viper, he sighed and said "I'm basically a taxi around here.."

Viper was slithering in his full transformation and slid over the fence and landed under a tree in the mansions yard. He released his transformation and said "You know I was thinking, if i can control the wind, I should be able to fly without wings..." Nami said "You could also push the boat forward" Viper sweat dropped and said "Yea.. I'll keep that in mind..."

Luffy yelled "Hey Ussop!" Ussop looked down and said "What are you guys doing here?" Luffy said "We came to find a ship remember?" he looked at the girl in the window and said "Hey! Can you give us a ship?" Viper chuckled and the girl was clearly struggling on how to say no, when Nami spoke up "Sorry, I'm Nami, nice to meet you.." the girl said "Kaya" and Nami said "Kaya, we came to see if you had a ship?" Kaya shook her head and said "My apologies." Viper was watching Kaya and transformed into his hybrid from before slithering around the tree and leaning over to look at her from a closer viewpoint, he said "Excuse me miss, I'm no doctor but I consider myself pretty smart. I heard you were sick, could you explain a bit more?" Kaya was shocked at Viper's transformation and said "Well, ever since my parents died I've been sick.." she explained how she felt and finished "I want to be a doctor as well and i've self diagnosed myself as depressed." Viper extended a bit further and looked around her before nodding and said "You're exactly right, but depression isn't a physical disease, as it is a mental one. To be blunt, the problem is you, yourself aren't letting yourself heal. If you don't move on, you'll never get better and sooner rather than later you will die." Kaya nodded sadly and said "I know, but I ju-" a man came in to the yard and said "Who are you all?!"

Everyone turned to him and he continued "And what is this monster?" Viper said "I have a name." Kaya said "That's rude of you Klahadore." Klahadore sneered and said "I don't care, regardless of your name you are trespassing on private property. Leave now" Viper turned and said to Kaya "Unfortunately miss Kaya, your chat will have to continue some other time. I would like to recommend you if you really cannot move on, your best option is to try hypnotism. If not then i'm sorry there's not much else that others can help you with, ultimately It is all in your head. I wish you luck." he slithered back down the trees in time to see Ussop punching the butler in the face, he stood next to Zoro and said "What did I miss?" Zoro said "Butler said Ussop's dad was a traveling merchant, Ussop said he was a pirate, Butler said he wasn't his real father, Ussop punched him." Viper nodded and said "Well that takes care of that then." he fully transformed and the group minus Ussop, who took off and Luffy, who chased after him, all hopped on, Viper said "Goodbye Kaya." and slithered over the fence into town.

Viper, Nami, Zoro, and two other kids were standing in the street and Nami said "Wasn't there three of you?" one of the kids said "Yeah, but he runs off sometimes and comes back telling lies." Viper said "Wow, they're exactly like their captain." Zoro chuckled, and they heard a voice "Guys! There's a weird guy walking backwards through the street!" the kids said "See?" the missing kid came running and a man walking backwards was following him.

The man stopped in front of the group and said "Who called me weird? I'm not weird, i'm Jango! A hypnotist!" the kids said "Woah! A hypnotist! Show us a trick!" Jango said "Don't be stupid! Why would I show my techniques to a bunch of strangers?! Alright look at this ring." Nami said "He did!" Jango said "When I say Jango, you'll all fall asleep. 1..2... JANGO!" The three kids and Jango fell asleep. Viper said "Wow. He hypnotized himself." Nami smashed her head into a wall and said "Why do we always meet weirdos?" Jango shot up and said "Oi! I'm not a weirdo! Anyway I gotta go." he walked away backwards, the group watched him go and Viper said "Why does he walk like that?" Nami and Zoro just shook their heads.

A while later

The group and sitting on a fence, and saw Ussop speed by without Luffy, Viper said "Where's our captain?" the kids were confused and said "Maybe still at the spot Ussop was at? It's that way." The group followed the kids and got to a cliff with a grave marker, then looked down the cliff and saw Luffy head first in the ground, Viper sighed and said "Of course." the group slid down and woke Luffy up. Viper said "Hey, take a nice nap? Luffy nodded and said "Oh yeah! The butler is going to try and kill the girl in the mansion, he's really a pirate." Viper said "That's why Ussop ran right by us before." the group went back to the village and met Ussop on the way, he looked at Luffy and said "You're alive?!" Luffy nodded and the kids said "Captain we need to tell the villagers to leave! We heard what that butler was going to do!" Ussop started laughing and said "What? That was just a lie! I said that because I didn't like him." the kids sighed and said "Wow, I can't believe you would do that Captain. I thought you were cool." the kids walked off, and Viper said "Very good cover up, let me guess the villagers didn't believe you?" Ussop nodded and said "I went to warn Kaya but another one of her butlers shot at me and she slapped me." Viper patted his shoulder and said "Don't worry there are plenty of fish in the sea, there will be someone out there for you." Nami said "Right... anyway what are we going to do now?" Luffy said "We're gonna protect the village." Ussop said "You guys want to help the village?" Luffy nodded and Ussop teared up and said "Thank you!" Before walking in a certain direction, Viper stopped him and said "Why are you going that way? If I remember correctly there is another beach right?" Ussop nodded and said "They met on this one." Viper nodded and said "Considering the fact that they both met on that side, and there was nobody there when we went to pick Luffy up then I think it's safe to assume the rest of their crew would be coming from the other side. Our ships also happen to be on that side as well." Ussop nodded and the group went to the other slope.

The group was waiting on the slope as Ussop poured oil down it. He came back and said "Alright what can you guys do?"

"Stretch"

"Cut"

"Steal"

"Transform"

Ussop nodded and said "And I can hide." Nami snapped and said "You're fighting!" Ussop yelped and said "She scary!" The rest nodded and Nami was about to snap, when the group saw pirate ships show up on the coast. They all landed and pirate after pirate poured out of the ships, the pirates started running up the slope and sliding back down because of the oil. Ussop sneered and took out his slingshot and fired a bullet "Fire star!" the flaming bullet landed on the oil and roasted the pirates, Viper was impressed and said "Did you make those yourself?" Ussop gave a smug grin and said "Yup, actually they.." Ussop started talking about his special bullets and Viper was listening, interested in how he makes them, when Nami smashed the two over the head and said "We're in the middle of something here!" Viper and Ussop rubbed their heads and Viper said "Fine!" before transforming and smashing his fanned tail at the pirates. Half of the pirates got hit by the tail and the other half were sent flying by the air blast, Viper hissed and dropped his head down near the group and said "Is that good enough for you princess?" She hopped on his head and scratched behind his head feathers and said "Very good!" Viper writhed and hissed happily, Ussop said "Does that happen often?" Zoro and Luffy nodded, and Luffy said "Viper, who are we supposed to fight now?" Viper turned his head and said "Ah my bad. There's still that hypnotist guy over there." he pointed his tail at Jango, who was shocked and Luffy punched him in the face, Jango went flying and got up saying "Get those two off the boats!"

Two men in cat costumes got off the boats and said "Are you sure, Captain?" the other one said "They look kinda strong." the first one said "Especially that monster!" Jango was scared too and he said "Just go! Before Captain Kuro kills us all!" then nodded and came close, Zoro stepped out and said "Let me do it." the two men said "We're the Nyaban brothers Sham and Buchi, sorry to bother you giant monster!" they bowed and Zoro said "Viper change back! How am I supposed to fight like this!?" Viper sighed and changed back, Nami fell and landed chest first into Viper's face. Viper was in heaven and Nami got up with a red face and slapped him saying "Damn bastard.." Viper said "Oi I didn't do it on purpose!" He got up and Zoro started fight Sham and Buchi.

The rest of the group were waiting around, and Viper laid down his cards and said "Full house!" Nami put down five Aces and said "I win!" Luffy had 17 cards in his hands and Ussop had nothing and complained "How do you have five Aces!" Nami just stuck out her tongue and pulled in all the money, Zoro got back and said "You guys were playing cards?" Then all said "Yeah." Zoro sighed and said "Whatever, where's that butler?" as if on queue Kuro showed up behind Sham and Buchi, with gloves on that had five blades on his fingers and said "Jango, I asked you to do one simple thing, how did you get stopped by five brats?" Jango gulped and said "They're really strong, and they have a giant monster!" Viper said "My name is Viper!" Kuro ignored him and said "I'm giving you five minutes to wrap this up." Jango stammered "B-but half of our guys are unable to fight!" Kuro sneered "I don't care! You have five minutes, I still need to kill that girl!"

Kaya showed up and said "Klahadore it was true?" she had tears in her eyes and Kuro sneered and said "Of course I want your house and all your money you must die!" Kaya drew a gun and said "Why! Why are you being like this Klahadore?!" Kuro smiled and said "Come now miss Kaya, remember when I brought you food and took care of you when you were sick for three years?" he slowly walked towards her and suddenly said "Now I want it all back!" Luffy punched him in the face sending him flying, Viper walked up to Kuro and said "Honestly, if your plan was to kill her and take her house anyway, why wouldn't you just hypnotize her and make her write it to you three years ago and pretend to be her uncle after her parents' death? Could've saved a lot more time and there are less variables." he shook his head and walked away "for someone named Kuro of the 100 plans, you're pretty stupid, also all your plans would fail without Jango. You could've also stayed as a butler and caused a fire yourself and saved Kaya, causing her to be in your debt for saving her life, then secretly killed her making it look like she succumbed to her wounds, and being the only resident left of the mansion, you would've inherited everything." everyone just looked at him, horrified, Viper frowned and said "What?" Nami punched him in the head and said "Don't just say that?!" Viper was still confused and said "But it's true." Kaya was sad and said "He's right" she turned to Ussop and said "I'm sorry for not believing you, Ussop." Ussop said "Don't worry Kaya as long as your safe." Kaya smiled and hugged him.

Viper watched and said "Wow, he doesn't have to look for another woman after all." Kuro stood up and said "Hmph, won't matter when she's dead!" and disappeared, Viper transformed and scooped up Nami, Ussop, and Kaya and lifted his head off the ground before sneering "Can you fly too?" Kuro reappeared and said "How can you see me?" Viper pointed to his eyes with his tail and said "Enhanced vision, seriously how stupid are you?" Kuro got a tick mark on his forehead and started swaying, Jango said "Oh no! It's the pussyfoot maneuver! Run!" Kuro was moving randomly and was slashing his crew one after the other, Luffy seethed and said "How could you do that to your own crew?!" before Viper slammed his tail in a certain direction knocking Kuro into the air, Luffy jumped up and punched Kuro in the face, sending him flying into the cliff face, Luffy grabbed Kuro and threw him onto the pirates boats and said "Get out of here and don't come back!" the pirates scrambled to board their ships and left. Viper dropped his head down and scooped up Zoro and Luffy before slithering off towards Kaya's mansion.

The next day, the crew was sitting in a bar and Kaya came in and said "I finally found you guys! Come with me I have something to give you!" and she ran off, Viper sighed and said "All aboard the taxi service." before he transformed and chased after her, with the crew on his back. They reached the beach and Kaya said "To thank you for saving me, I'm going to give you this ship!" Luffy hopped off Viper's head and landed on the boat and said "Cool! Thanks Kaya!" Zoro slid down and said "Nice ship!" before boarding and sitting down, falling asleep. Viper turned back to his human form and caught Nami who was falling down, before putting her down and saying "So miss Kaya, you're looking better I see." Kaya smiled and nodded "I feel a lot better too." Viper smiled, before turning around and seeing Ussop rolling down the slope, he stretched out his foot, stopping Ussop and he said "You're late we almost left without you." Ussop said "Huh? I'm leaving on my own." Luffy said "Shut up and get on board!" Ussop said "Fine! I'll be your captain if you really want!" Luffy snapped "I'M THE CAPTAIN!" Ussop said "Fine, Vice-Captain." Luffy said "You're the sniper!" Ussop nodded and boarded. Viper sighed and got on board and the crew left the island, waving good bye to Kaya.

A few days later

Luffy was playing around with the new cannons, and Ussop said "Let me show you my skills!" he fired the cannon and shot through a rock, that was poking out of the water, blowing it up. Luffy said "WOAH you got it on your first try!" Ussop said "I did?! I mean of course I did! I'm the mighty captain Ussop!" Viper was working on something and said "Yo, Ussop come here!" Ussop cam over and looked at what Viper was working on and Viper said "Do you think its possible to fit a cloud generator in this thing?" he held up three sleek black rods, Ussop rubbed his chin and said "It could be but the dimensions are to slim to have to same shape, you would have to put bulges here, here, and here." Viper frowned and said "Not ideal.. It defeats the purpose of being a staff." Ussop sighed and said "Well, there isn't really enough equipment to make it sleek and retractable, unless..." Ussop took the rods and said "If we make the middle section bigger and put the other two inside to.." Ussop started explaining before sighing "We need to buy more supplies when we can." Viper nodded and said "I wanted to make one of the extra rooms a lab, we'll need more equipment for that though. If I have enough, I should be able to make it robotic." Ussop said "You can make it sentient?!" Viper frowned and said "Not sentient, but perhaps automatic is a better word, it would be best if I had devil fruits as well.. We could research them, I feel it should be possible to force an object to 'eat' a devil fruit." Ussop was shocked and said "Is that possible?! I've never heard of an object eating devil fruits before." Viper said "In theory, if it is the juices of the devil fruit that gives the user their power, it should work. Regardless, even making a paste or substance with the skin or the actual fruit may allow anything to eat it, but to test this we need have fruits to spare, and as of right now we have none." Ussop rubbed his chin and said "It could work, but the material would have to soak in the liquid." Viper nodded and said "That's why I said we need more equipment, and a lot of it." he sighed and rubbed his temples and said "and right now, we don't even have money, perhaps you could work on your slingshot, when we have the right fruit we can test it, maybe you'll be the first sniper with a devil fruit weapon." just then Luffy held up a poster and said "Look at our jolly roger!"

The crew looked at Luffy's drawing and said "Oh my god, that's horrifing!" Viper said "Let me try" before he drew the same jolly roger but the skull was half-robot and had a red eye, he held it up and said "You like?" Nami said "We aren't cyborgs!" Viper frowned and said "I think it looks cool." Ussop grabbed a paper and drew the Strawhat jolly roger and said "There you go." everyone nodded and Ussop painted the sails. He came down and said "I was a master painter for 50 years!" Viper rolled his eyes and said "Yea and I'm from a different universe." everyone laughed and went back to their thing.

Viper said on the deck and said "We need a chef." Luffy nodded and a loud shout was heard "Hey you damn pirates! You almost killed my friend!" Zoro got up and said "Johnny?" Johnny blinked and said "Zoro bro?!" Zoro smiled and said "Long time no see." Johnnu hugged Zoro and said "Zoro bro! Yosaku is dying!" Zoro was shocked and said "What?!" Johnny pulled Yosaku on the deck and said "He just became like this! I don't know what to do!" Nami slapped her forehead and said "He has scurvy. Go get some limes from the fridge." Ussop went to get the limes and dripped the juice in Yosaku's mouth, Yosaku got up and started dancing, Nami snapped "You don't get better that fast!" Viper sighed and Yosaku fell back on the floor.

A while later

Johnny and Yosaku said "You guys want a cook there's a good restaurant around here, you might be able to find one there. It's called the Baratie." Luffy threw his hands in the air and said "Set sail to the Baratie!" Viper sat back in his chair and smiled.