Chapter 38

It has been only a few minutes since the bomb between Oswald and Seeley had exploded yet I felt like I'd been standing there for hours.

Watching the scene unfold himself was completely nerve-wracking. I knew no matter how this night would end, I'd always remember these minutes.

Because this was the moment when even the glimpse of hope that Seeley has been holding onto his father's presence was crushed into pieces and burnt to ashes.

"What is he talking about, Oswald?" Delilah asked in a hoarse voice.

Oswald just shook his head before pointing his finger at Seeley.

"Don't you dare bring Dakota up." He hissed but Seeley just seemed angrier by Oswald's choice of tone.

"Why? Because you know it's true?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Or what?" Seeley asked. "You're going to hit me like you always did when you got mad at something? Don't worry, I'm already used to it."

Oswald let out a deep animalistic growl before grabbing a picture that hung above him and slamming it against Seeley's head.

I jumped and tried to muffle my horrific scream but there was no use.

"Oswald! Stop it!"

"Dad just calm down, please!"

Seeley placed his hand against his face and looked at it when he felt the blood from his torn skin wetting it.

"You really think you can throw me out like some garbage?" Seeley gritted his teeth together. "I know you always hated me because I reminded you of mom but as I see you didn't need much time to move on, you rat."

Oswald kicked the glass away with his foot while glaring at Seeley.

"You're still too young, Seeley. You'll never understand it especially if you act like a teenager girl who just got stood up."

Seeley laughed in an evil way that sent chills down my spine.

"Look at you… Not only practically spitting on my mother's grave but you also happened to find a replacement whose name starts with the same letter as hers? How fucking loyal."

I didn't even realize how strong I'd been holding into Perkyn's hand until he sent me an apologetic glance.

"You're dead to me. You have been since you got my mother killed!" Seeley spat and opened the door, almost tearing it down from the frame.

I watched him storm down the stairs but only after he grabbed the baseball bat that stood next to the entrance.

My eyes widened as he headed over to an expensive-looking car that stood next to the house.

"You always were a huge fan of convertibles." Seeley said while studying the car with intense eyes. It seemed like he has completely lost himself. "Good to know that you weren't lying about that."

"Seeley…"

Seeley didn't even hesitate as he lifted the bat and slammed the windshield of the white car. I flinched as the glass exploded and flew in every direction.

Glass clinked against the cement and sparkled under the street lights. It seemed like there were stars flying in the grayness.

"Good to know that you are one hell of a fucking liar!" Seeley shouted and slammed the bat against the driver's door which cracked a little loudly.

"Stop it!" Oswald ran to the ranging boy who lost the last piece of his heart in only a matter of minutes.

Seeley moved away before Oswald could grab him and before anyone could react, he slammed it against Oswald's body.

Delilah screamed and ran after Oswald who groaned in pain while placing his hand on his ribs. That forceful hit must have at least cracked if not fully broken his ribs.

I hurried after them, only focusing on Seeley who didn't seem startled by what he has done.

I grabbed his arms then his neck and tried to turn his head to me. His skin was hot and covered in his blood as a few pieces of glass cut him on his neck and arms.

"Seeley, listen to me." I tried to grab his attention but he was glaring at Oswald who was still in the ground, on the glass pieces while Delilah tried to help him up with shaky hands.

Seeley suddenly dropped the bat which caused me to flinch.

When he looked at Perkyn, the fire in his eyes didn't disappear, only when he finally looked eyes with me.

Without a single word, he took my hand and pulled me away, leading me to the other side of the street while one of their neighbor, the one called Jim, opened the entrance.

"What is happening?" I heard him ask. "Oh, my God… Oswald! Somebody call the ambulance!"

When I looked up with teary eyes, I saw Jim running to his friend who had a hard time breathing while Delilah and Perkyn were already trying to hold him.

It felt like a cloud fell on me. It was so surreal to realize that it the damage and the injury was all Seeley's doing. Furious wasn't even enough to describe the storm that has been inside of him.

"Get in." He said, opening his car's door for me and I obeyed without looking at him. He slammed the door so hard that I almost jumped in my seat.

When he threw himself into the car, it rocked a little and started immediately when he turned the key in the ignition.

"Did you know?" Seeley asked as he drove away.

I dropped my hands to my lap when I accepted the fact that I wouldn't be able to stop their shaking. It was almost like I was so cold that I couldn't stay still even if I wanted to.

Instead, I was so scared and shocked that I had no control over my body anymore.

"What?"

Seeley looked at me with fury in his beautiful eyes.

"I asked if you knew about this." He repeated in a cold tone, his words slicing through me.

I inhaled sharply and shook my head.

"No… I…" My voice trailed off while he was glaring at me.

He just found out that his father has been nothing but a manipulative liar, so I couldn't blame him for not believing everything at first.

"I only found out after Perkyn took me to the house."

"Perkyn has never talked to you about him?"

I shook his head, my hair flying around my face.

"I mean he did when I met him but he never told me his name." I said quietly. "And Perkyn had also changed his last name to not get into trouble for Oswald's debt."

Seeley shook his head and gripped the steering wheel so hard that his finger bones cracked under his torn skin.

"Fucking animal." He murmured. "I just can't believe it."

My eyes dropped to the bleeding scar on his face that made me cringe. The picture of Oswald slamming a family picture against his other son's head just kept replaying in my head. Seeley's groaning, the glass breaking, his blood scattering on the wall after his skin had been torn apart.

I was sure it hurt like hell but he showed no sign of giving a damn about that right now.

I noticed that we weren't heading to our house's direction but I didn't dare ask him about it. I didn't want to piss him off even more.

"You're not going there anymore." Seeley said while glaring at the dark and dead road in front of us.

I nodded because I didn't want to see Oswald's face ever again. But Delilah… I was sorry for her but I wouldn't be able to look into her eyes ever again.

Not after tonight.

"I won't."

Seeley didn't even hear me or he didn't bother acknowledging my sympathy for him, not that I was in the position to hold that against him.

"And you won't talk to Perkyn ever again."

I turned my head to him tiredly but he didn't look at me.

"Seeley…"

"No, I'm serious, Heds." He said while wiping the blood on his hand into his shirt. "I don't want you around those people, do you hear me?"

I turned my torso in his direction with pleading eyes.

"Perkyn didn't do anything wrong." I tried.

"He is in it just like my dad." Seeley groaned under his breath.

"No, he isn't. He is a good man." I argued even though I shouldn't have. "He didn't know about it just like you didn't. You can't blame him for something that your father did. He kept you two in secret for the other."

Seeley shook his head and rolled down the window as if all the air has disappeared from his car.

"I'm not doing this, Heds."

"You are if you want me to stop meeting with Perkyn."

It looked like he already had enough of me but I wasn't going to give up on Perkyn because of this.

Yes, it was a horrible thing and my heart ached for his life turning out to be even worse than it already was but it didn't give him the right to control my life.

"They are a whole different world, Heds. You don't even belong there." He said and my heart sunk.

Not because he lied because I knew he was right but because he used that against me. He had to pick up on me being all nervous because of the night while getting ready and he just threw that into my face.

"What does that supposed to mean?" I asked, trying to figure out if he only said that because he was hurt or because he genuinely thought that.

Seeley sighed and leaned his elbow on the driver's door.

"They are a perfect family already. The parents are passionate about their careers and they are delighted when it is announced that their only son got into college. He is probably learning to be a doctor, engineer, lawyer, or teacher. They got no problems financially, they have parties with the neighbors and they always pay for everyone to show their grand attitude." Seeley ranted without even taking a breath.

I was stunned to even react. He got the Perkyn's studies right if nothing else but I could easily imagine that he wasn't far from the truth.

"Listen, Seeley, I know you are upset and you have every right to be but you're not thinking straight." I touched his arm and he immediately shook me off like my hand burnt his arm.

"I've never been so right in the head than now, Heds." He told me. "You know I'm glad… I'm actually fucking glad that you told me to come here because otherwise, I would have died knowing that he is the only family I've got left. And now I have a fucking brother. Me! And just not a simple brother who'd mind his own business. He has the nerve to call that pathetic rat 'dad' and also happens to have the hots for you. This is unbelievable."

When he slammed the steering wheel, I flinched and leaned into the passenger's door. Knowing that I got stuck in a car with someone who lost his temper made my stomach turn.

"I can only hope that you had a good time with those." He spat while the veins started to pop out on his neck. "Were they kind to you? Reassured you that they would be happy to have you around? Has Perkyn been around you all night like a goddamn leech? Did you dance with him? Did he tell you how beautiful you are to manipulate you into kissing him?"

Tears ran down my face while I was listening to him hurt me in the worst possible way. And I hated myself for not speaking up because my heart understood his reaction.

I was weak and he must have known that because he didn't stop after noticing me silently crying next to him.

"Were you happy with him? Were you happy knowing how much power you could hold above his head? Were you delighted that he kept complimenting your dress and looks? Did you kiss him?"

I bit into my lip and looked out the window into the darkness. I just I could run away from his claws deepening into my heart. I hated seeing him like this. I also hated how he chose his words toward me.

I couldn't calm him even if I tried. He was on fire and his eyes now seemed void of emotions. And the flatter his voice became the more worried I became.

"Heddy, I asked you a question." He lowered his tone and goosebumps ran over my back.

He never called me Heddy. I hated how that sounded from him and that he hid behind the walls he'd pulled up again. I wanted to reach out but he didn't let me.

I felt devastated and dropped my gaze to my hands in my lap. This had to be the worst night of my life. It was nothing like the pity and embarrassment I'd felt so long ago.

"I did," My voice could be barely heard but I was sure he did by the way he inhaled sharply and tightened his fingers around the steering wheel.

I could have sworn that he was ready to crash his car if I wasn't in it after hearing my confession. For the first time this night I started to doubt myself and my hope in Perkyn. And I also wished I didn't kiss him.

It was crazy how my world turned upside down in a few hours.

When Perkyn kissed me I felt happy and proud that someone like him would have feelings for me. But now that Seeley has found out, I could see he felt betrayed and it made me change my happiness about that kiss.

"Wow… I don't even know what to say." His voice cracked and wiped his nose.

"Seeley…"

"Did you do it because he is the opposite of me?" He looked at me with red-shot eyes.

"I…"

He nodded when I lost my voice there. He gulped and his face twisted in betrayal.

"I get it. He is mentally stable and would never raise his voice in your presence. He must be a real gentleman." Seeley continued. "That's why you keep running to him? Because I'm fucking miserable?"

I didn't know if answering him was a good idea considering the state he has fallen into.

I shook my head slightly even though he was getting closer to reality.

I wasn't able to think straight when he was around that was sure but he also had a much bigger dark side that no one else did.

He's been holding his emotions and Oswald's other family pushed him over the edge.

My heart broke for him because he was more than sure now that he was neglected by his father who might have had something to do with his mother's death.

I couldn't even imagine what had happened to him. I could only hope that one day he'd be strong enough to overcome his darker side.

"What happened to your mother?" I asked and his eyes darkened.

"Don't do this now. I'm not in the fucking mood for your games, Heds."

I furrowed my eyebrows and held onto the passenger's door.

"What games?"

He let out a dry laugh and gave me a side glance before turning back to the empty road.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." He said flatly. "The kind of game you've been always playing since you kissed me around Christmas."

My face was flustered by the mention of the time when I kissed him for a game. I still felt like shit about it and had no right to hope that he forgot it but it still hurt me to even talk about it.

"You act like you care about me and then you disappear in the next second." He said and sighed.

"I do care about you, Seeley. You know me." I touched his arm before pulling away, not wanting to relive him physically pushing me away, not only emotionally.

That was the worst kind of pain. When someone who has had a huge part in your life finally decided that it was better for them to step away from you leaving bittersweet memories.

"Do I look like who'd play with your feelings?" I asked in an empty voice.

"You did once. What would stop you doing it again?"

I closed my eyes, trying to shut his painful words out but they crept into my heart anyway and started to poison it.

He had every right to feel that way. I did play him once and it was the worst mistake of my life.

"That's why I'm with you." I said. "Don't you think I'm still trying to make up for that mistake?"

Seeley gave me a hesitant look.

"So, you're telling me that you are only sleeping with me because you feel sorry for me?" He asked and my eyes widened.

I did feel sorry for him but that wasn't the only reason behind my decisions. I've felt many other things too that I couldn't explain.

"No…" I said quietly. "I feel sorry for you but I sleep with you because I want to. Not because I pity you."

Seeley still looked unsure if he could believe me or not.

"I just thought that this was the only reason why you had ever agreed to have sex with me." He answered, his eyes dropping for a second.

"I'm not that voluntary to do friends with benefits." I enlighted him and he shrugged.

"You just changed and did many things that made me wonder if the only reason you'd still talk to me was because you feel guilty."

I swallowed and sniffed then wiped my tears away.

"I do." I said and he looked at me. "I'm sorry for hurting you like that. For making things complicated…"

"Don't talk about it." He said but he wasn't angry. He seemed almost heartbroken when he heard me apologizing.

There was no chance that things could ever go back to normal. Not after me kissing him for a stupid game that I did while I was intoxicated but also after being sexual partners to each other.

We were in a hot mess that made it feel like we could never escape from it. And sometimes I wondered if I ever wanted to leave.