Chapter 20

In the following weeks, almost every day was just the same. I got up, had a girl chat with either Emilia or Leigh while having breakfast, went to work, and spent a lot of time either being disgusted by people or bonded with Marina or Perkyn.

Perkyn has become a close friend of mine in a really fast way. I liked how honest and decent he was with me. I could listen to him for hours when he was telling me old stories during lunch break or after work while he was walking me home.

Somehow Perkyn just never ran out of embarrassing or funny stories that he was ready to share with me.

Whenever I was talking about Perkyn or Marina to the girls or Casen specifically – since Austin wasn't very fond of listening to me for a long time –, Seeley had always been giving me side glares while either focusing on his phone or reading a book.

I haven't talked to him since we had come home a little drunk with the girls and showed me his disappointment through different metaphors and words.

It felt like an itch not talking or looking at him. Not that I was mad at him but I didn't have the energy to deal with his mood swings for now.

Whenever we were in the same room, something, more likely an invisible string always wanted to pull me to him. It would have been great to feel his hands on me, to hear his husky voice as he slowly started losing control while my hands would explore his body.

I hated how good-looking he still was because it made it way harder and irritable to not pay attention to him as much.

I wondered if he felt anything while both of us were focusing on our jobs. I'd usually run him in the morning since he has been working an afternoon shift at Voiceless Cobra and I'd usually sleep when he'd come home.

It wasn't really avoiding him, right? I was just getting even with his schedule.

And our weird spacing only lasted for a few weeks, until my birthday was just around the corner.

As I was sitting on the terrace at the other side of the house, facing the small garden we've got, drinking my lemonade, I heard someone opening the door and stepping out.

"How can you sit out here? It's at least a hundred degrees out here." Seeley frowned and closed the door behind him.

I glanced up at him from the corner of my eyes, taking a long sip from my drink.

"After a while, I don't even notice the heat anymore." I said, leaning back in my seat. "I'm just enjoying the sounds of nature."

It was true. Listening to the birds around me and hearing the ocean in the distance helped me relax while all my muscles were sore from working.

"How was your first week?" He asked, popping down on the chair seated across from me.

I slowly lowered my sunglasses and gave him a questioning look.

Seeley rubbed his hands together.

"What?" He asked. "I haven't seen you for two weeks, can't I ask you about work and everything that's happened lately?"

I pushed my sunglasses up on my nose and scratched my arms.

"We usually meet in the mornings." I answered, ignoring his previous question.

"Yes, when you run out of the house to get to work." He narrowed his eyes at me. "And I'm always last to come home and everyone's particularly asleep by then."

"It's not my fault that you work from afternoon to evening." I shrugged even though I felt his absence while he was sitting next to me.

I was glad that now that we came to Cannon Beach, he started to get close to me once again but our jobs got in the way and we couldn't see each other.

Remembering how his hands felt on my skin while the thrill of being caught kept me on the edge was something ordinary that I haven't felt in a while.

For a moment I started to play with the thought if I hadn't messed everything up, we might have started dating and everything would be different.

Hell, even my mother was surprised that we weren't a thing before – despite her hatred toward Seeley.

Even our friends started to think that we might have become a thing in secret but then out of the blue he once had shown up at school with Clara clinging to his arm and kissing him in the hallway.

"I like it though." He looked into the distance. "It's exhausting and some of the guests are downright disrespectful but I can't even catch a break and I like it."

"That's great." I nodded. "Just don't work too hard."

"I could say the same to you." His eyes landed on me and I tried to ignore the heat creeping up into my cheeks from his gaze.

"I don't work in over-hours." I put my hands up in defense. "Sometimes I go out with the others after work."

We've started to make a tradition that every second or third day we would go somewhere, Perkyn, Marina, Zera, and me.

Zera was still quiet whenever I was around but from what I've been told she needed more time to make friends with new people.

And I respected that but that didn't mean that I haven't tried to soften her up with little gifts. For instance, when we went to the cinema, I bought her a leather bracelet which she refused and then wholeheartedly accepted.

Ever since whenever she showed up at work and I saw her not only wearing the multiple bracelets she's always wearing but also mine hugging her wrist, it made me smile a little.

Zera kind of reminded me of an old classmate of ours who joined our junior year but had to leave during the senior year since her parents have moved away, so she had graduated from high school somewhere else.

She was also hard to read while all she did was hide her face in her books and notes. Then when I heard that she was behind us in Biology which has always been my favorite subject, I asked her during lunch break if she needed help. She refused it at first and tried to lie to me that she just didn't have enough time to learn for the test. I had to reassure her for almost five minutes that it was all right if she wasn't good at something because everyone had their weaknesses.

I was sorry when she announced that she'll leave but most of the class didn't even notice her absence which made me mad in a way. Ever since then I keep thinking of her and how good I felt that I was able to help her.

But her situation has always reminded me that you couldn't help someone who didn't want to be helped, no matter how bad you wanted it to.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Park." Seeley said and I turned to him.

"His name is Perkyn."

"Same thing." Seeley shrugged and I scoffed. "What kind of name is that anyway?"

I shrugged because I knew he was right about the uniqueness in Perkyn's name. I'd never heard that kind of name before I met him but the more I said it out loud the more it started to grow on me.

"I like it." I said. "It sounds fierce but special at the same time."

Seeley dropped his head and glared at the ground beneath his feet. I knew I must have touched a sensitive spot but if I thought about it, it was fair.

He's had Clara to talk about and I had Perkyn.

"I must have really startled you then."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion while searching for his eyes but he wasn't even looking at me.

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because you've been spending a lot of time with someone who is the complete opposite of me." He said in a flat tone. "I was sure that you didn't even want to be reminded of me."

I leaned forward and took my sunglasses off. By the look on his face, he was serious and almost even sad about it.

It was nothing like that, I just happened to enjoy someone else's company while I barely saw Seeley.

"You mean Perkyn?" I asked just to be two hundred percent sure even though I already knew the answer.

"Yes."

"You aren't even that different from each other." I said and put my sunglasses down on the small table between us.

"The only common we have is that we are men." He gave me a starchy look.

"That's not true."

"Well, let's go over the list, shall we?" He turned his body to me and spread his legs while he leaned forward to count with his fingers. " He has got his shit together. He knows how to cook and always makes sure that you have a great time. And he is always there for you even when you had only stub your toe."

"Where are you getting at?" I asked, getting impatient. So much for my rest for this day.

"I want you to admit that you feel something for him." He said and my eyes widened.

What was the purpose of him wanting to know if I liked Perkyn or not?

All Seeley wanted from me was sex and nothing else. It wasn't his place to know how I felt about a certain someone.

"What if I do?" I asked, instead of lashing out. I didn't want to give him the benefit of proving him right that it took him only a few seconds to get under my skin. "You just mentioned all of the things why Perkyn could be a perfect boyfriend."

Seeley's eyes darkened and rubbed the back of his neck in frustration.

"You drive me crazy." He mumbled and I tilted my head to the side.

"I am the one who drives you crazy?"

"Exactly."

I let out a dry laugh.

"I'm not the one who is the most unpredictable person in this house, Seeley." I shook my head and crossed my legs.

"You are just as unpredictable as I am." His eyes met mine and I couldn't even blink.

"Why? I think I play with open cards." I answered quietly. The more we were talking about it the more confused I became.

"Do you have any idea how intriguing is when you let me close to you and are almost even ready to give yourself to me then you just vanish in the next moment and I don't even see you for two weeks?"

I opened my mouth to argue with him and prove all of his reasons wrong but I've come to the realization that he was right about this.

If I put myself in his shoes, from his point of view, he just almost kissed me while complimenting me all the time then I started working and didn't even say hi to him, I was too focused on my job and Perkyn who was just a co-worker.

A very handsome one, may I add.

"And you're once again nothing but distant with me?" He continued and I started to feel bad.

I was disrespectful to him. I thought he didn't even notice my absence outside of our work shifts just didn't match. We always evaded each other without even trying.

"There has been a lot of happening in the last few weeks." I said with a frown.

He nodded and clicked his tongue as he looked away from me.

"With Perkyn, yeah, I've heard that."

I arched my eyebrows.

"Where did you hear that?"

He looked back at me with emptiness in his green irises.

"Leigh had told me." He said.

"When did you talk with her?" I asked. Leigh wasn't the type of person to spend time with Seeley. She'd always told me that Seeley was her least favorite person out of the three boys in our friend group.

"Yesterday." Seeley answered. "She is a funnier person than I would have thought."

I smiled at that, all of the tenseness vanishing from my body. If they were bonding that meant that Leigh's awkwardness would no longer be there when Seeley was around. Which meant that our friend group would be finally full.

"Be careful." I teased him. "You'll be best friends in the end."

Seeley glared at me while trying to fight his smile which only made my smile even wider.

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Oh, you don't like her?" I asked, faking a pout.

"She is all right but I don't think we'll be drinking buddies." He replied.

"Too bad." I leaned back against my chair. "I wanted to ask her to be your conquest."

He flinched and pressed his hands against his knees.

"I can't even look at her that way."

"Only me, huh?" I asked with a half smile.

Instead of answering, he looked around then stood up and leaned on my chair, his face getting dangerously close to me.

My breath got caught in my throat as his darkened eyes basically pierced through my existence.

I had thought that the distance I'd put up between him and me would help me reduce the power he held over my head.

But I was wrong. His vulnerable side was able to turn into something orphic that has never left me go.

"Definitely." He said and placed a kiss on my cheek.

He let his lips enjoy my soft skin before he pushed himself up and walked into the house. I was just sitting there, battling with my brain and heart at the same time.

Because neither of them wanted to function in the right way.