DXD 12

"Why do I have to do this?" Akemi groaned out as she cleaned the store inside and outside at least four times. A feat that took her the majority of the past hour to complete. And throughout the entire time, Flandre and Rose were sitting on the couch nearby while drinking blood and reading. Beside them was Ophis who was playing some video games. "When will you guys give me my Harem!... Ophis may I ask you a question?"

"..." Ophis ignored the question which got a deadpan expression from Akemi who took it as a sign to continue.

"R-Right, well, I'm just going to go ahead and ask anyways. Just how long did it take those demons to grant you your desire?" Akemi asked pointing at the two-horned girls who were busy reading while listening to some music with headphones. "Since you know Flandre had to have Red give it back to you, it must have awhile, right? Days even? Flandre had to duke it out with Red, must have been quite the fight!"

"...twelve minutes," Ophis said still playing her game.

"I beg your pardon?" Akemi asked dumbfounded, there was no way dealing with Red was harder than giving her a damn Harem.

"It took them exactly 12 minutes," Ophis said as she paused her game and spared the flabbergasted teen a glance. "Shinobu took 5 minutes to talk to the overgrown Lizard. Flandre took 2 minutes to bully the Lizard to submission. And 1 minute for Shinobu to create the pocket dimension. With four minutes trying to convince the bastard dragon."

'Twelve fucking minutes...Twelve...fucking...minutes.' Akemi screamed in thought as she glared at both Flandre and Rose who seemed oblivious to what was happening. "I guess Rose-san wasn't around for that but still...Those damned demons. Onoreeeee!"

"Please stop glaring at me." Flandre suddenly spoke up looking at the now spooked Akemi with a grin on her face. "Unless you want to go another round and find out what it feels like to have your insides on the outside and vice-versa."

"That's disgusting," Rose said before grinning at Akemi. "Don't worry about your Harem, I'm sure you'll get it after your training of course."

"Don't even try to strike a conversation. Your pathetic intent is written all over that mediocre face of yours." Ophis cut in looking at Akemi who looked like she had been kicked while she was down. "The only reason I tolerate them is that they are strong and I owe them that much. However, you and the rest of this annoying band are not as strong as them and are somehow more annoying. Therefore I can and will impose my will all I want."

"To summarize what Ophis-san said," Flandre said looking down at the distraught Akemi with an evil smile. "Shut up, keep sweeping, and maybe I won't banish you to the shadow realm."

"Does that really exist?" Akemi asked fearfully looking at Flandre's demonic grin.

"Maybe, maybe not," Flandre replied before violently shutting her book, eliciting a slight jump from the paranoia-ridden teen. Flandre soon pointed below Akemi who soon noticed the portal right under her feet. "Care to find out?"

Luckily Akemi was saved from dropping into the portal by the doors of the shop bursting open. A confident, if not slightly bruised Vali walked in shortly after.

"Boss! I'm back! When do we start my training...?" Vali asked looking at Flandre and Rose before he soon spotted Akemi, a swift scowl replaced what was once a wide grin.

"What did I ever do to you?" Akemi asked as she noticed his glare at her.

"Oh. You're here, eh? Still, trying to upsurge the boss's power? Well, I won't let you! That's a job reserved only for me! And I'll kill anyone in my way!" Vali exclaimed walking up to Akemi in an attempt to intimidate her. "I'll be the one to defeat Alucard-sama! And then I'll-oof!"

His rant was soon cut off midway as a clean towel and a spray bottle collided with his stomach.

"You!" Ophis called getting Vali's attention while she pointed in both Flandre and Rose's direction. "Their mother wants everything in here to sparkle by the time she comes back. Not a single speck of dust you hear? Otherwise, a certain fallen angel will be catching wind of what you and everyone else in my little group were really doing behind his back. Understood?"

Vali needed no further encouragement and like Akemi before him, the white dragon emperor threw himself at his given task with surprisingly a good amount of gusto.

"Of course! It all makes sense now!" Vali suddenly exclaimed as he began scrubbing the already clean floor. "No doubt this is a task that Naruko-sama rigged that conceals some secret training regime to make me stronger and as her student, I shall clean this place at my very best!"

"What a weirdo...You hired some weird people Ophis," Rose whispered to Ophis after listening to the cringe Vali was spewing.

"He's not my problem anymore," Ophis said before resuming her game. "After all, he is you people's problem."

"More like Aunt Alucard's problem," Flandre said with a shrug as she continued to read her book while the two dragons continued to clean and tidy the shop.

A shop that was, as Akemi already noted, pretty damn clean and mostly empty. Though she tried to fight it, Ophis couldn't help the tiny smirk that curled her lips up. This family was most definitely demons alright, but she supposed things haven't been as boring with them around.

-Timeskip-

Rias released a low groan with a sigh of defeat as she strutted down the empty halls of Kuoh Academy. The perks of her overly-protective/loving brother also being the head of the school itself were nice at times. This time around however she couldn't truly find any way to ease the doubt in her mind. In less than a week, she would be married to one of the biggest assholes she'd ever had the displeasure of meeting.

Riser Phenex was a holier-than-thou, narcissistic, arrogant, and distasteful bastard whose only interests were women and power. He was also the man whom her father had promised her hand in marriage to in an effort to combine their two pure clans and as a direct effect, increase both the Gremory and Phenex family's power.

The main problem was she didn't want to marry him, or anyone at all. At least not yet. Rias didn't even want to think about what would befall her peerage were this to happen either.

To put it bluntly, she was desperate...very desperate, and entirely out of options. So when word (and panic) spread around the school about some blond succubus kidnapping young women. Well, she had a pretty good idea of who it was. Where the hell is she?! I've set up wards and sensors everywhere and I even contacted the Student Council but there hasn't been another sighting...of...her or her family.

Her own thoughts began to slow when her bright blue eyes locked with a pair of pink and black colored horns and long golden hair before noticing the woman was currently decked out in women's work clothing.

There was no mistaking it. This was one of the women her brother told her about.

"Hello there Miss," Naruko greeted as soon as she noticed Rias staring at her. "Didn't know you were a student here. Sirzechs-san never told me."

Rias's lip twitched ever so subtly at the unwarranted name-calling and the casual mention of her brother. It would seem the two had already met. Which could possibly mean her chances of securing the blond's help might have taken a regrettable plunge.

But she was desperate enough to try. And you know what they say...

"Hey...Couldn't help but notice the absolute feeling of defeat radiating from you." Naruko asked with a grin forming on her face, misery does love company. "Luckily for you fixing problems is my...well our specialty. So why don't you come over to the shop tomorrow and we can talk about your problem? What do you say red?"

...Desperation only attracts vultures.

"..." Rias looked at the quite beautiful blonde before frowning at her. "I don't know where your shop is."

"Of course you do~," Naruko said sweetly as her red eyes stared into Rias' blue ones. "You've already been staring at it for a while. Trust me on this, just do what you normally do and I promise that this time around, you'll see it."

"You don't even know what I'm going to ask for?" Rias asked as she suspiciously stared at the succubus/demon in front of her. "How are you so sure you can provide a solution for my particular problem if you don't even know what my issue is?"

'I could just read her surface thoughts...but that would be rude and boring' Naruko thought to herself as she closed her eyes before opening them and staring at Rias. "I guess, but that means the only thing to do is come over and find out if I can or cannot," Naruko replied with a coy grin and shrugged her shoulders. "Either way, I've wasted too much time already! I've got Sex Ed. I don't want to be late for that you know~..."

Rias was baffled at what the blonde was rambling on about. Why was she teaching Sex Ed? What happened to the previous teacher? Why were all powerful beings batshit insane?

"Well later Rias-chan," Naruko said as she waved goodbye to the dumbfounded redhead before vanishing in a pink mist.

Rias was inwardly fuming about the fact that once again she was unable to get any useful information from the insane blonde. For one such as her, it was admittedly a bit frustrating, to say the least.

Although one thing was for sure. Flandre and her little family were trouble, the type she never thought she would have to deal with either.

Stray devils? Angels? Fallen angels? She could handle that no problem.

Another sigh escaped the redheaded girl. Time to alert her peerage of their newly found plans after school.

-Timeskip-

"So..." Akemi asked looking at the group in front of her. "Tell me again how this is gonna work?"

"Well, Rias-chan here," Naruko said while sitting neatly on her chair as she pointed in Rias and her peerage direction. "Is about to get married to someone, and the only way for her not to marry this someone, apparently by beating that dude and his friends to a bloody pulp. Now normally I'd be the one doing that, but you two." Naruko said as her bright ruby eyes jumped between Akemi and Vali. "Need to start pulling your weight. Vali is going to be doing some work for Ophis and you are going to be helping Rias-chan over here."

"Okay, I get that part," Akemi said before pointing to herself. "But why do you have to kill me to do it?"

"I could always ask Flandre to do the killing," Naruko said with a closed-eye smile looking in Akemi's direction. "I'm sure she would be more brutal than I will."

"I see your point...so why do I have to die to make this work?" Akemi asked looking at Rias and her peerage.

"I can't use my evil pieces on you, not while you're alive at least," Rias said looking at Akemi who nodded. "While you're dying, however, we can make a pact and I can then resurrect you as a member of my peerage. This way you will be able to fight by my side during my match with Riser."

'Evil pieces? What's that?' Akemi thought to herself while looking at Rias.

"On the other hand. You're taking this all rather well, Akemi-kun." Akeno said with a smirk on her face.

"I die at least once a day, every week," Akemi said with a shrug. "It's not much of a deal by now. Almost like death has no consequences."

"..." Akeno was left speechless at what Akemi said.

Rias was about to continue her explanation only to feel a tug on her skit. She spared a glance and was rather surprised to see something she thought she'd never witnessed in years.

"President!" Koneko spoke in a monotone voice, her face frowning...more like scowling as she pointed toward Naruko. "Kill that woman"

Rias deadpanned in response, caught completely off-guard by the request.

Next to her, another blond who looked quite pretty placed a comforting hand over the ashen-haired girl's shoulder. A weak smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Ah, Koneko, I don't think the president can do that. This lady is supposed to help us out, remember?"

"No, she needs to die!" Koneko said while glaring in Naruko's direction.

"Hello Shirone-kun," Naruko greeted with a grin etched on her face. All at once, four pairs of eyes simultaneously widened at what Naruko just said. "How did your talk go?"

How does she know about that?! Was the only thought that crossed Rias's mind.

"What?" Naruko asked as she blinked owlishly at the sudden tension that had suddenly overtaken the room. "Did I do something wrong?"

"When are you ever doing something right my student?" A disembodied voice echoed.

Rias and her peerage tensed even further.

"Oh, no, nonono. I forgot...I fucking forgot. Oh no not again..." Vali dropped to his knees, shaking as if in fear of something. That really didn't help the situation in the slightest.

Everyone looked confused at the boy's actions while a few people started gathering as much magical energy possible in the event of a surprise attack.

"Boy..." The voice taunted void of any actual mirth or emotion. "By the look on your face, I'd say you forgot to buy me the latest issue of Jump manga. Tsk tsk, I'm very disappointed in you..." Out of seemingly nowhere, a purple-haired woman appeared, dressed in casual clothes with ruby eyes and a cup in hand. She walked behind the collapsed wielder of the vanishing dragon as if held up by strings.

"You realize you'll have to pay for this, don't you? I want a crate of alcohol, you know the kind, and the latest issue of that Jump Manga, by tonight. Do this and you'll live to see another day." Scathach said with a sickening smile looking at the frightened Vali while both Shinobu and Kaede walked in behind her with shopping bags.

"A-Ah, actually Scathach-san, b-big sis Naruko already gave me-" Vali began to say before being interrupted by Scathach.

"You seem to forget the Pecking Order boy," Scathach said as she summoned her Gáe Bulg and pointed the sharp end towards Vali. "I'm telling you to do something, and you will get it done regardless. Unless you want to find out what it feels like to be anally impaled by a spear."

"Shishou, isn't that a bit too me-" Naruko asked before being silenced by the tipped end of Gáe Bulg pressed against her throat. "Never mind."

"Tonight, Boy," Scathach said warning Vali before she, Kaede, and Shinobu took a sit on the far side of the room to converse which other

To this day she still scares me. Was Naruko's thought before redirecting her focus on Rias's little entourage.

. . .

Cough.

Rias, who had spent the better part of a week trying to find the shop, was promptly fed-up. She'd be getting some answers, right here and now! Starting with how Naruko knew Koneko's real name! "This has gone on long enough! I demand that—"

"Hellooo! Naruko, are you in?" The familiar chimes echoed and two more joined the party, one of them Rias knew very well. Primarily because it was her older brother, the current Lucifer himself, dressed in a casual but still very much classy red suit. "I found this cool taco stand by the north end of the city, the locals love it! Now I know what you're thinking, tacos? In Japan? Preposterous! No, but seriously, you guys should come to check it out with us. Oh, hey Rias!"

It was enough to make Azazel sick. "We really have to work on that sister complex of yours." The fallen commented off-hand. Highly disturbed by the sight of one of the most powerful beings in existence rolling over on his back like a well-trained dog for his younger sibling. Thousands of years alive and he was still seeing new things every century. Ah, what a grand gift life and all its freedoms were.

"Tacos?" Naruko asked mostly to herself before smiling. "Sure I would love to tag along."

"Brother..." Rias asked as her brow twitched. "What kind of sick joke are you playing here?" Wasn't that the super dangerous group who she should stay away from at all costs he was asking out for authentic Mexican cuisine right now?

"You see Rias," Sirzechs said with a sheepish smile while rubbing the back of his head. "They aren't all bad. Bat-shit insane and a bit sadistic? Maybe. But not all bad."

"Maybe?" Yumi echoed glancing at the group. "More like definitely for some."

"Sirzechs-san please don't say such brash words to a woman, especially me. I'm not above beating you up." Naruko said with a grin looking at the now slightly frightened Lucifer.

"Plus we all bonded quite well. He even made a contract with yours truly."

At the mention of the contract, the redhead devil winced. "...I thought we weren't going to talk about that?" Sirzechs mumbled weakly getting some PTSD.

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad. Tamamo, Alucard, and I really enjoyed it! And Azazel-" Naruko said with a coy smile before getting interrupted.

"-Was too drunk to remember and doesn't ever want to talk about it again. Thank the Lord..." Azazel trailed off, as he thought back to the other night's events.

Sirzech, plus karaoke, equals a very bad headache for his alcohol-induced brain. Throw in a room full of cheering clones of Naruko, Alucard, and Tamamo as the audience and it was all just a little too much for him. His only conciliation to his pain that night was the fact that he got to see Ophis idly torturing Vali by making him dust the same spot on the counter, over and over again as she repeatedly poured coffee on it every time Vali cleaned it.

"This has gotten rather off-topic, hasn't it?" Akeno said aloud, her arms crossing underneath her ample chest.

"Yeah. Alright, guys let's be on our way! Ophis are you coming?" Alucard said looking at Ophis and the others.

"We'll pass," Shinobu said looking at her younger sister. "Do have fun and take lots of pictures."

"I don't have much of a choice now do I?" Ophis said with a sigh before looking at the collapsed Vali with a blank expression.

"All right Akemi," Naruko said with a grin getting Akemi's attention. "I'm going to kill you know, okay?"

"Very well," Akemi said with a sigh. "I'm ready."

"Brilliant," Naruko said before appearing behind Akemi and putting her entire arm through Akemi's gut.

"Y-you...s-suck," Akemi mumbled as blood pooled from her mouth, noticing the hole in her gut "C-Couldn't you have been a little cleaner?"

"Apologies," Naruko chirped cutely, even as Akemi's prone form dropped to its knees and then unceremoniously fell onto the ground. "Vali! Clean the blood up before you head out, and you." Naruko pointed a finger at the shocked Rias. "Relax, that was an insta-kill. She didn't feel a thing, probably. Now make with the resurrecting before I change my mind."

For a second, the redhead didn't respond. Until her mind finally made sense of what had just occurred.

"Later!" Naruko said with a grin.

But before she could verbally state what exactly was wrong with what Naruko had just done to a human kid, the blond, along with a few of the other godly beings—her brother included—outright vanished without a trace. Leaving a bloody Akemi behind with a hyperventilating Vali who was as of now desperately searching for a mop with renewed vigor.

"We should have killed her," Koneko said looking around the room to notice they were the only ones there.

"She...is quite my type," Akeno said while grabbing her skirt with a blush on her face. Rias and the group looked down only to notice a puddle of silver liquid below Akeno. "It seems my underwear has gone into a bit of a crisis."

"I'll just ignore that Akeno," Rias said, she knew of her Queen's fetishes. Rias turned her attention to the rapidly moving Vali. "Who was the old man next to my brother?"

"Yeah, he looks quite familiar somehow," Akeno said with a finger under her chin. "I can't quite put my finger on it though."

"Yo, you all know she doesn't have much time left right?" Vali said, being the ever responsible one, decided to inform the group of their future member's current state of being. Namely that their window was running short and soon, Akemi would be dead for real till she gets revived. As he watched them spring into action, their current thought process broke. The teen breathed out a sigh of relief. 'If that girl would've figured out who Azazel was, Boss would never hear the end of it from them.'

Now knowing that his work was done and his good deed in the name of his Boss was accomplished. He happily returned to cleaning his training partner/rival's pool of blood from the ground and also reminding himself to clean up the puddle of liquid the Akeno girl made. I really hope this won't stain...