CHAPTER 27

Time after

Where does jealousy come from, it comes from us, when we don't feel that we are worthless, it comes from the old feeling of low self-esteem. , which makes you think that, "You are not worth enough."

Najimi was suffering from this, right now.

They had already said goodbye to Marin and all that stuff.

It was already getting dark and Najimi kept walking next to shouko.

But this one was with its head down, looking at the ground.

Shouko was not stupid and she realized it, she could also almost understand the reason, that is, the preferential treatment with Marin compared to the one he had with her.

But it is something inevitable, shouko although he is cold, whenever he meets an idol, he will even give him a little preferential treatment.

It's like a dragon ball fan knew goku himself, and he already demonstrated it when he met tadano, he spoke to him in a friendly way, so to speak, giving him that privilege that no one else had, since tadano earned his respect.

Now it is the same case with Marin, but beware there is a difference, that they have that different treatment, does not mean that they can be someone you can trust immediately or that you care about your life from that person.

Shouko is still shouko, so if Marin hadn't appeared today, she would have forgotten about her presence in this world and wouldn't care what happened to her and wouldn't have tried to look for her, to make contact.

Shouko continues to live her life as she wants and already has too many things to do, to waste more time with more people than she already has.

All this great thought was cut off because a question could be heard.

"Hey shouko, when do you meet that girl?"

-Are you questioning me?

"Is it just.....pure curiosity?"

-I only met her one day, when I did a book signing and that's it.

"Then she's a simple stranger...."

-One could say, Yes.

"I see...".

A small tear fell to the ground from Najimi, she had one arm resting on the other.

At that moment, it started to rain very hard.

[Damn.....I hate the weather in Japan].

They did not have a place nearby to cover themselves against the rain, the only thing nearby was a mini playground for children, but there was a shelter in the shape of a sphere.

-Come, we have to get in there, until the rain stops.

Najimi continued slowly with her head down and entered the shelter with Shouko.

The space was not that big, obviously because it was designed for children, so only 3 normal people could be there comfortably.

But it didn't help that shouko is so big that it took up more space than it should.

The two had gotten a little wet, Najimi was sitting with her legs together while her head was between them and shouko was with one leg stretched out and the other in a perfect triangle, while leaning against the wall of the shelter.

[Hopefully this rain stops quickly...].

Shouko looked at her cell phone and checked the time, it was 6 in the afternoon.

He gave notice to his mother that he would be late because of the rain and stuff, so she doesn't worry, I already have a long history when I take too long on the street.

She put her cell phone away, then she looked at Najimi, her hair was wet and the sound of the rain made this scene very sad.

Shouko stared at Najimi with an indifferent look for several seconds, she didn't know this, she just kept her gaze glued to her legs.

Finally he took a deep breath and asked.

-Something happens dwarf?.

"...nothing happens".

"It's just...no, it's nothing."

-It's just that...what?

-Your attitude changed quickly, when Marin appeared.

Najimi gave a small tremor at the memory of that name.

"They are your ideas.....nothing is wrong with me".

-None of my ideas, it is easy to notice that there was something there.

"It's easy to notice, you say, I don't think it's nothing."

-What are you trying to say!

"I say you are completely blind!".

Shouko was a little surprised, it was the first time that Najimi spoke to her like that.

Can you tell me what's wrong with you?

Najimi squeezed her hands.

"What happens to me, I'll tell you what happens to me".

"What happens is that a person paid more attention to a simple stranger than to his own friend."

"That is what happens".

Najimi looked up and it was seen that she had some tears.

You don't think you're exaggerating.

"No, I'm not exaggerating anything, it took me a long time to be able to connect well with you, that you gave me compliments, that you gave me a smile, today I planned everything."

"It took me a lot of time and money, for you to flatter me, for you to notice me, to spend more time alone with you and to be able to bond more deeply with you, but it turns out that there is another person who, with the simple fact of being cute, gets along all your attention and shows that all my effort is invain".

Najimi, calm down.

"I'm not going to calm down! I'm sick of always listening, I'm sick of being the person who always is the one who starts the conversations, I'm sick of always being the one who asks out! I'm sick of everything!"

"And it's all my fault! , I've been hiding this for a long time and it hurts me to keep doing it to something that I know will never work!".

-What are you hiding?

"That I....".

What is Najimi?

"That I....".

-That?!.

"That I'm in love with you damn it!".

"I'm completely in love with you, I like everything about you, I can't stop thinking about you, if you already ate, if you're okay, I can help you or even in simple things, I can help you with those details".

"I dream of you every day and now....".

"I already said it...it's all over...."

"You'll see me as weird because someone of the same sex and worse, your friend declares to you."

"You'll get away from me and we won't talk anymore."

Najimi declared herself, and realized that now, shouko would not reciprocate her and all this is over, her friendship with shouko is over.

Najimi could only start crying.

Shouko was surprised, it was the first time they had proposed to him, much less in this way.

Shouko kept her composure and her look became a bit complicated, she took another big sigh and approached Najimi.

-Hears.

Najimi raised her head with her tears, only to be greeted by a small bump on her forehead.

"Ouch!"

-Because you are so dumb.

-Here the one who could not notice anything is you.

Najimi began to rub her forehead.

-Preferential treatment, because she's pretty, yes...it could be, she's the prettiest person I know, but that's all.

I think you've had the wrong idea.

"I saw how you treated her, it was as if she."

"Ouch!"

-Silly girl.

Another little nudge was given to Najimi.

-That? It was like I liked it, it could be, I like women.

"Do you like the...".

-Yes, as you hear dwarf, I like women, I'm not interested in men at all.

"Then...".

-That? ,... now you think, that I treated Marin differently, because I like him?

-I like....., but only her beauty.

-Leading a relationship for beauty alone is purely stupid.

-What good is someone's beauty, when in 50 years, we will all be old with nothing to show for it.

-What matters in a relationship is to be comfortable with that person and to be able to act confidently with them, it is very important to act honestly as you are.

-Because it would be stupid, to change your personality for someone, since with time, you will return to being your true self and not the false version that you tried to demonstrate.

"Shouko....I....".

-But you know who is the person with the highest percentage of being able to have a relationship with me.

Najimi closed her eyes, she was going to hear the name of the shouko who is most likely to be with her.

-It's you brat!

Najimi's eyes widened in surprise at the words.

"Wait.....did you say....me?"

-Listen well dwarf, I'm not a person who opens up much with these issues.

-You are the person I've known the longest, you're the person I've talked to the most times, you're the person I've dated the most times, you're the person I'm most open with, you have everything to be the person I'm with more chances to go out with me.

Najimi kept listening to Shouko's every word.

-But regarding your statement.....I don't think it's possible.

"I see...".

"You only see me as a friend right?"

-No idiot, it's just that.....ash, I'm not a good person, like to have a relationship.

-Besides... I have never fallen in love with the essential things to have a relationship, but I have never felt anything for someone like that.

-And I'm not a person either, so good that we say...

Shouko can be cold and not care about anything, but all that changes with time, and all, because she keeps hiding her true feelings.

You can't become friends with shouko at first, at least 1 month to be considered her friend, but if she only looks at you as a stranger, you will remain a stranger forever.

6 months for him to open up to you, and 1 year for him to care or show mutual affection for you.

What shouko lacks from the early days since she came here, is trust.

It's hard for him to trust someone, even the characters he knows are good, apart from the fact that he also comes from Latin America.

Place where if you talk to yourself with insults and send yourself to hell, it is taken as something normal and that only friends do it.

For shouko it was very difficult, he already had problems with himself, the change of body to another life and the change of culture, hiding his true behavior more, made him unable to express himself as he is and he closed himself off more and more.

"Shouko...you're afraid of hurting me, right?"

-I'm just saying that... I'm not the right person to be in a relationship.

-I only think of myself...I don't care much about other people and I want everything to be as I want.

-You see I'm a shitty person.

"Don't say that, you're not like that, deep down you are a very kind and kind person."

-I don't see where you notice my kindness.

"Because you just said, "You're not the right person to be in a relationship."

"You practically told me, I'm not a stable person and I don't want to hurt you, so you better stay away from me."

"Stop locking yourself up shouko, please."

-I'm better alone...I'm used to it.

"Shouko, even though you can be alone for so long without feeling bad, you're hurting yourself more, you just don't notice it on the surface."

"You have many problems inside, but you hide it with a coldness, but people who have known you for a long time will notice that."

"How many times have you suddenly hugged me, you make excuses, but it was you fighting with yourself".

"You need someone to release all that pain with, you shouldn't hide anymore, I want to be that person."

"I don't care what you have to do, I want you to tell me what you really feel, what you really think, please tell me."

-I...really...don't know.

There is something that shouko did not realize, is that not only the strength and mind merged with komi, but also his feelings and inner problems.

So if he already had problems with himself before, they were also combined with shouko's problems and moreover, it's a huge internal chaos, which shouko denied all the time and locked himself up, without telling anyone about what he's really suffering inside.