9. love potion

"do you live here?"

yes

"can you tell me why they don't want you here?"

*

The snow is piled up high on the deck and my boot's are stuffed full of the white cold sediment because no one shoveled and here I am shoveling in the dark by a dimbulb yard light. I suppose it's a perfect time to tell you about why boy's chase girls and why they assume the girl just knows it too. She really knows how bad he has it for it and she really must know it's her responsibility because she has brought his love on by her old good self. If I only knew why, which I don't. How demure, but I am only a coy girl.

Clunk, scrap goes the shovel, the snow's packed in hard and it has an icy and difficult layer to crunch through. Like this story, is this a metaphor or exercise for the undefeated?

Tomorrow I may sleep in, if I even do, the light shines the brightest in my bedroom window and it's captivatingly pretty. I stop and watch my cool breath exit my warm mouth. It was always his eyes. Does it hurt you? This shouldn't have consequences after all the love we are already in too deep. I can only tell myself it's separate, it's beautiful, it's sharing my heart. This has no effect whatsoever on our feeling's towards each other. It's sort of like another dimension. You can only preen more and puff your chest out? And you say, "that little guy?" well yes indeed but little prince's do grow up sooner than we all were expecting. What does it matter anyways? For some crazy reason boy's or men enjoy the competition. I'll never figure this out.

I lean the shovel against the house's railing and I'm off to bed. Beauty needs her rest and death never does like a princess in baggy bloated eyes.

And they dream of me as if they were on each side of my mind. Two halves of my love and no I give them my all. These boys are thirsty flowers in the dead of winter. How do they ever survive? From my tear drops and my body's sensual heat.