10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The ride to Med was a complete blur. Hailey was trying to keep Jay awake as he drifted in and out. He was so pale, he had lost so much blood already. Next thing she knew the paramedics were rushing her out of the back followed by Jay on a stretcher. She caught a glimpse of Will's red hair poking out amongst the crowd of people waiting to intake Jay. Voight must have called ahead. He looked scared. He made brief eye contact with her, she was sure she looked scared too.

Jay was quickly taken in to the emergency department, stabilized and sent off to surgery. Hailey was just standing there in the middle looking lost, staring down at her hands that were covered in her partner's blood. She began to feel faint and thought she might pass out when she felt a strong hand on her arm and back.

"Hailey?" She recognized Will's voice and turned to face him.

"Hailey? What happened? Are you okay?" He asked her, staring at all of the blood on her. When she didn't respond, she saw his eyes slowly piece together that it wasn't her blood on her hands and his face sunk a little. She felt his pain deep in her soul. But he quickly collected himself, trying to focus on things that were in his control.

"He's in good hands now Hailey, why don't we get you cleaned up", Will said calmly. Way more calm than she expected. I guess this is his doctor brain kicking in, trying to compartmentalize the situation, she thought. Even though it was his brother he just saw bleeding out with a gunshot wound to the chest. She shuddered and shook herself out of her own daze, nodding at Will who was trying to help her.

He slowly walked with her to the nurse's station so she could get cleaned up, keeping an eye on her as she looked pale as well. She had obviously been crying too. She hadn't said a word to him the whole time he was with her. He wasn't sure what to make of that.

"I'm sorry Will", she finally choked out as she was standing over the sink taking deep breaths.

Will immediately felt a twinge of guilt, Hailey blamed herself for this, of course. But knowing his brother, Jay likely got himself into a mess and his partner tried to get him out of it like she always does. Only this time it didn't go so well. He didn't really need the whole story right now, or want it, frankly. They needed to focus on Jay.

"Whatever happened, it's not your fault Hailey", Will told her. The look on her face told him that she needed that reassurance. A small tear slid down her cheek as her bottom lip started to quiver. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder and let her take a deep breath before talking again.

"Dr. Marcel is our top surgeon. I saw his vitals before they took him up. He's lost a lot of blood, but the bullet didn't hit anything major. They seemed optimistic."

"Optimistic?" Hailey spat out, her sharp tongue took Will by surprise. Her face softened with regret right after.

"I'm sorry, it's just. Will… he was bleeding so much, he couldn't breathe on the way here. How are you so calm right now?! His hands were so cold", she practically whispered, looking down at the floor. She didn't see the slight raise of Will's eyebrow at the hand holding admission.

"Jay's a fighter Hailey. He's going to pull through, you have to keep thinking that", Will replied, but deep down felt really uneasy about his brother. This wasn't just another sprain or minor bump, Jay really was in serious condition.

She nodded tearfully, trying to keep it together. Why should she be crying when his own brother wasn't even losing his cool? She took a minute and collected herself.

"Why don't you go out to the waiting room, I'll go see if I can get an update on Jay okay?" He guided her back to the hallway towards the ED. She was grateful for Will in this moment, keeping her grounded. Calm, strong, sweet Will.

Hailey sat down by herself in the waiting room, as she watched it slowly fill up with the rest of Intelligence and what seemed like half of the Chicago police department. This is what usually happens when an officer is injured on the job, but it being Jay this time, didn't feel real to her. She sat there looking at the floor until she felt Vanessa's presence, attempting to cheer her up with a coffee.

"Habit?" Rojas tried cautiously, trying to make a Jay joke from a few weeks before.

Hailey forced a smile and said thank you, but put the drink on the ground. Unable to stomach much right now.

The rest of the unit came around to her, each putting a hand on her back letting her know they were there. It felt like an eternity had passed when Hailey saw Will walk through the sliding doors. She stood up quickly, instantly feeling the blood drain from her face. This is not where you lose your partner, this is not where you lose another partner, she kept telling herself. She tried to read his body language, facial expressions, anything to give a clue about Jay's condition, but she was having a hard time focusing.

What Will said was a blur, essentially it was still touch and go, Jay had lost a lot of blood. He looked more upset now, that made the knot in Hailey's throat much worse. Adam reached out to give him a hug. It was all they could do for now. Wait.

The rest of the unit was called to a case by the Superintendent. Voight was not happy about that, given the situation with Jay. But duty called. No one even asked Hailey if she was coming with them, they knew she was going to stay at the hospital and wait for news on Jay. They just quietly left and told her they would be back to check in. She nodded and settled in to her seat, alone.

In a way she was grateful for the quiet time. Even though the waiting room was full with her other colleagues, she felt very much in her own world. Thinking about what she would say to Jay when he woke up. Many of the police officers waiting around her had begun to trickle out. She was getting increasingly anxious again until she saw Vanessa walk through the doors of the ED.

"Hey, how are you?" Hailey stood up to greet and hug her roommate.

"I'm alright", Hailey lied.

"I got you some gyros from your favourite Greek restaurant and brought you some clean clothes from the apartment", she offered, knowing that Hailey would refuse to leave this hospital until Jay was awake, no matter how long it took.

"Thank you, that's really sweet of you", Hailey smiled. Vanessa was quickly growing on her.

"Any news on Jay?" Vanessa inquired.

Hailey bit her bottom lip and shook her head. "Not yet", and let out a big sigh. Rojas nodded and put a hand on her back to comfort her.

"He's going to freak out when he wakes up", Hailey said quietly after a few moments of silence between the roommates.

Rojas listened intently, she sensed that Hailey was trying to process all of this in whatever way she could. Including talking it out, giving Vanessa some insight on their friendship.

"The man hates needles. I can't figure him out", she said tearfully, with a slight smile on her face. "He's first through the door, a war vet, but would rather take a bullet than get the flu shot", she let out a small laugh. Rojas smiled too, but this was hard to watch. She clearly loved her partner, she knew the smallest, most intimate details about him. It hurt seeing Hailey upset like this.

"Hailey, I'm so sorry. I know how hard this must be for you", she said calmly.

"It's always hard when something like this happens", Hailey's walls went right back up after a brief moment of openness.

Vanessa decided to be bold, and take this moment to say her piece.

"It's hard because you love him", she said confidently. She hasn't known the two of them for very long, but if she knew anything it was that they loved each other deeply, that much was obvious.

To her surprise, Hailey's response was just that.

"Of course I love him, he's my partner", she replied with ease, barely believing that those words came out of her own mouth in front of Vanessa.

The women took a minute to process what had just happened, both of them sharing the understanding that Hailey loved Jay. Not just as her partner, but as more than that. Vanessa felt like telling her that Jay felt the same way back, she had absolutely no doubts about it. Even if the two of them haven't talked about this themselves yet. Maybe this would be their wake up call. She had the unique privilege of being Hailey's roommate, and seeing the two of them interact outside of the district. What other people don't see. She sees the way they look at each other, make dinner, talk about their good and bad days, and take care of the other if they're sick or hurt. Their quiet moments together. It was special, there was no denying that.

Before they could discuss this new development any further, both of their phones started going off. Vanessa had to go, Ruzek had a lead on the case.

"You go, I'm going to stay", Hailey forced a smile and motioned towards the sliding doors she was so desperately waiting for answers out of.

"Call us as soon as you hear", Rojas told her and left to go back to work.

It was an agonizing few hours but Hailey finally saw Will walk back through the doors. He had a smile on his face, Hailey let out an audible sigh and put her head in her hands.

Will sat down next to her to explain to the clearly overwhelmed detective what was going on.

Bullet injured his shoulder, missed his heart and lungs. It nicked an artery and he lost a lot of blood, but no long-term damage. He'll be in a sling for a few weeks but will make a full recovery, just has to take it easy. Especially with his head wound too.

Hailey could see Will's lips moving, but sort of stopped listening after she heard him say he'll make a full recovery.

"Can I see him?" She blurted out.

"Of course. He's just being moved from recovery now. Come with me", Will smiled seeing Hailey's face light up. She quickly followed him to Jay's room, but Will stopped her at the door.

"Now, he's still out. We gave him something, he was a little bit anxious when he first came to. He's still in rough shape. He'll probably be asleep the rest of the day. He's fine. Everything is going to be good, but he needs some rest. I just don't want you to be scared if he doesn't wake up for a while", Will explained to her in his best doctor voice.

Hailey almost laughed, leave it to Will trying to be professional right now.

"That's okay. I'll be here when he wakes up, however long it takes", she replied.

Will's turn to give her a cheeky smile, "I know you will." He went to turn down the hallway to give the two some quiet time before hesitating and turning back around.

"Oh- one last thing. I saw him while he was waking up in recovery for a few minutes. The first thing he said was Hailey", Will grinned from ear to ear watching Hailey's face turn a shade of red he's never seen before. Satisfaction, he thought.

Hailey had called the team and told them what was going on, they were all happy to hear that Jay made it through surgery and told her they would be by the hospital later on to check on him. She spent the rest of the day in Jay's room, just sitting quietly by his bedside, watching his chest rise and fall. He looked banged up, with cuts and bruises all along his face. He looked comfortable, but in a way not himself. She didn't quite feel like herself either. She was elated that Jay was going to be okay, but wouldn't feel relief until she saw him awake herself. She desperately wanted to see him open his eyes, so she could tell him how much he meant to her, how scared she was, how she could never do this without him. She gently took his hand in hers. Her eyelids were beginning to feel heavy, and slowly allowed them to shut. She felt something while she was holding his hand again, instead of coldness and fear, this time it was something else. Warmth.

She woke up in a cold sweat a while later to the sound of Adam and Kevin's voices.

"Oh Jay. He looks really pale", Kevin murmured.

"Whoa, Hailey, it's alright. Jay's alright. We just came here to check on him", Adam reassured her, seeing her eyes wide with fear at him hovering over Jay's bed. She had instantly looked at her partner and then his vitals on the monitor. Her own breathing slowed when she saw Jay still sleeping peacefully.

Adam looked at her hand intertwined with Jay's, and she quickly dropped it.

He knelt down in front of her and set his hands on her knees. Hailey had dropped her face into her own hands, trying to suppress her emotions.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to do that", he whispered. She knew he understood.

Kevin watched as this went down, then noticed Jay's face scrunch up and started to look agitated, like he was in pain. The three of them heard his heart rate increase just in the slightest. It didn't set off any alarms but it was obvious he was in a bit of distress, even while unconscious.

That made Hailey sit up straight again.

"I think he liked you holding his hand Upton", Kevin tried to make light of the serious situation they were in.

Hailey forced a smile and cautiously put her hand under his again, allowing herself to be vulnerable just enough in front of Adam and Kev.

To everyone's surprise, Jay actually did calm down once Hailey put her hand back over his. She leaned closer to the bed and gently stroked his forehead with her other hand.

"Shh, it's okay Jay. You're okay", she whispered soothing him as she watched his face relax again, the whimpering stop, and his heart rate slow back down to normal. Adam and Kevin exchanged a look as they watched her, knowing that this was more serious than even they had originally thought.

What they didn't know was that Hailey had been doing this for him on and off all night. He wasn't fully conscious at any point, but had been getting worked up every so often. Will said that was normal, it was his body's' unconscious way of communicating pain and discomfort, which hurt Hailey. She hated seeing him in pain like this.

"Should I go get a nurse? Is he in pain?" Adam asked nervously.

Hailey looked down at her phone for the time and shook her head. "They were just in about an hour ago, they won't give him anything again for a while", she said quietly.

"Maybe he just needs some love from his partner", Kev added quietly. "Better you than us", he joked. Hailey smiled, biting her quivering lip to keep her emotions in check.

"Do you think he can hear us?" She whispered to them.

"He might", another voice piped in from behind them. Will Halstead was standing in the doorway watching his brother's partner calm him down. "That's probably why he's more relaxed when you're holding his hand. The sound of your voice is the most familiar to him. He knows you're here", Will said confidently. He didn't know for sure that Jay was all that aware right now, but if he had to bet money on anything it was that his brother wanted Hailey here taking care of him more than anyone else, unconscious or not.

Hailey quickly wiped a tear from the corner of her eye in hopes that the three men didn't see her. If they did, they didn't let on. She held his hand a little tighter.

"How is he Will?" Adam asked.

"No change", Will replied.

"But that doesn't mean that's a bad thing", he quickly added seeing the worried expressions on all of their faces.

"He just needs time to rest and heal, his body has been through a lot", Will told them.

They all nodded and Hailey got up to let Will sit down next to his brother.

"No it's okay Hails, you can sit. I can't stay I have rounds to do, I just wanted to come up here to check on him and make sure he was still doing okay."

She smiled at the use of the nickname that only Jay calls her, and sat back down. "When do you think he'll wake up?" She asked quietly.

Will shook his head, "I'm not sure. Nothing is keeping him under other than pain meds. He's breathing on his own, that's good. On his own time when he's ready. He's probably going to be in a lot of pain when he wakes up and be really stubborn about it. Just a fair warning", he smirked.

The three of them nodded, Adam watching Hailey as she rubbed the top of Jay's hand with her thumb the whole time Will was talking. He instantly had déjà vu to when Kim was shot five years ago. They were together then, but that night really put things into perspective for him about his feelings for her. Maybe this was the same situation for Hailey and Jay, two of the most private and stubborn people he knew. Everyone could see how affected she was by this, that was no secret. The real mystery was how much they had really talked about feelings before this, if anything. It was either all or nothing based on her actions. If he had to guess, they hadn't yet and that's why Hailey was so worked up, aside from the obvious traumatic experience of losing Jay, finding him, only to nearly lose him for good again.

Will left the room shortly after, leaving the three members of Intelligence sitting there quietly.

"Kim and Voight are dealing with Angela as we speak. Rojas and Platt are figuring out what's going on with Jay…legally", Adam hesitated seeing Hailey get emotional again. This was all her fault, she could have stopped this.

"Hailey it's not your fault. Jay does his own thing, regardless what anyone else tells him. Even you", Kevin smiled again.

"I was right there Kev, I got to him first. I saw him, he was okay. Then….he told me he had to go back down to help Angela…I should have stopped him then. He was already hurt…", she trailed off shaking her head, frustrated with herself more than anything.

They understood the guilt she must be feeling, they were scared for their friend too.

"Why don't you go get some fresh air Hailey, maybe something to eat. I'll stay here with Jay", Adam offered.

"And I'll go with you, for some company", Kevin added. They didn't plan on telling her that Jay could be in some real trouble when he woke up. They were trying to work all that out before he came to. She didn't need that right now, they knew she was worried sick so she was their priority as much as Jay was hers.

Hailey thought about it for a second, not really wanting to leave him. But agreed to that. She did need to stretch her legs, and she had lost track of all sense of time and space since being here with him since last night.

"I'll even hold his hand if that makes you feel better", Adam said cheekily, which made Hailey smile for the first time in what felt like forever.

Kevin and Hailey were quietly sipping coffee on a bench outside when Kev finally decided to speak.

"I know it's none of my business but…you and Jay…", he cautiously proceeded.

Hailey froze and looked up at him, thankful that Kev was sitting here with her. Other than Jay, she considered Kev her closest friend in the unit. Although Rojas was certainly giving him a run for his money, especially how she had been supporting Hailey this week.

"Nothings happened", she confirmed quickly. Kev had a surprised look on his face, either that nothing has happened or that she actually was speaking about this with him. Either way, Hailey kind of chuckled.

"I know what you're thinking", she said. "But it's not like that with him. After me and Adam, I realized that dating in house is too hard."

"Girl do you think I'm stupid? You honestly think comparing you and Ruzek to you and Halstead is the same thing?" His turn to laugh.

Now Hailey truly looked confused.

"It's different with you two. I know that, you know that. I think everyone else on this team knows that, even before he got kidnapped. This just solidified it." Kev expanded.

"I would even go as far as saying Kim and Adam is a more accurate comparison to you and Jay."

Hailey blushed and Kev wrapped his arm around her.

"It's okay, your secret is safe with me. And you're going to get the reunion you two deserve. Not like yesterday. He's going to need us when he wakes up. But I think he's going to need and want you the most."

Hailey started crying again, hating how emotional she was the last few days. But Kevin made her feel okay to be like this.

She nodded and sat in silence until her and Kevin's phones started going off like crazy.

"Get up here right now", Adam texted. They both looked at each other and ran back into the hospital, rushing up to the ICU and Jay's room. Hailey's heart was thumping in her chest, expecting the worst. Expecting to hear monitors beeping and coding from Jay's room. But it was silent, which made her even more nervous.

She turned the corner first before Kevin and she burst into tears when she saw Jay's green eyes staring back at her.

"He decided to come to a few minutes ago", Adam joked.

Jay couldn't really talk he was still in a lot of pain.

"Glad to see you awake man, you scared us", Adam gave Jay's leg a pat, and he received a thumbs up. Adam explained that the doctor and nurses had been in, everything was normal. Kevin went over to him too, Hailey still seemed frozen in place at the doorway. All this time she spent wishing for him to open his eyes, and now that it's happened she didn't know what to say to him.

Adam and Kevin saw her hesitation, which was a bit confusing, but made sense for a lot of different reasons. She was scared to lose Jay, that much had been abundantly clear. Now that he was awake, they were going to be forced to finally have that conversation.

"The first thing he said to me when he woke up was Hailey", Adam winked at her and motioned for Kev to leave the room and give them some privacy.

That made her smile as she tried to hold in her tears, remembering that Will told her the same thing hours earlier. Jay must have really known that she was there with him.

She approached his bedside cautiously, watching his eyes follow her movements.

"Hey", she finally whispered, that's all she could get out. She didn't want him to see her crying.

"Hey", he smiled weakly back at her.

They didn't have time to say anything else before Will and April came in. Will's face lit up and April quickly went over to check Jay's pain levels. She gave him something to calm down and hung another bag of IV fluids for him. Will was telling him he was so glad he was okay and other things, Hailey had zoned out, just couldn't take her eyes off her partner. Really seeing him awake and okay. Will's voice calling her name brought her out of her dream world.

"Hailey. I said I have to go, I'm being paged, major MVA just came in. I'll be back up later okay? Try to get some rest Jay." Will left as quickly as he came, again leaving Hailey and Jay sitting there in silence.

"Hailey…", Jay whispered as she came closer to the side of his bed, thinking he needed water or something. Whatever April gave him was starting to take effect and his eyes were becoming heavy again.

"Say it again", she said before she could stop herself as he looked back at her confused.

"My name, I want to hear you say it again", she said with tears rolling down her face. He clued in this time.

"Hailey", he smiled at her, feeling guilty about how worried he must have made her. The last time he said her name it came out as more of a choke and a sob, in the basement of that factory. He saw his partner hovering over him and tried to tell her good-bye with his last breath before he blacked out, trying to memorize her pretty face in case he never opened his eyes again.

"I'm really happy that you're awake, you scared me Jay…", Hailey's voice broke.

He started to get emotional too, seeing his Hailey like this. He was so grateful she got to him in the basement when she did, or else things might have turned out differently. She saw him start to get worked up, which made his chest feel worse than it already did. Hailey jumped up to sit next to him on his bed and gently cupped his cheek with her hand, wiping away a few of his errant tears.

"Whoa, easy Jay. It's okay. You've had surgery, and have stitches in your shoulder and chest. Just try to breathe slowly", she told him calmly. He couldn't help but focus on his partner's soft hand grazing his cheek either.

The crying stopped, which allowed him to focus on his breathing. Hailey didn't pull her hand away like he thought she would. This was the most she had ever touched him. It felt right. He felt her hand on his good shoulder as he tried to control the pain he was feeling.

"April gave you something for the pain, it should kick in any second", she told him.

"I hope so", he said hissing through gritted teeth.

"I know you're not feeling good right now, but you're going to be alright. The bullet grazed an artery, and went through your shoulder, you lost a lot of blood. But they were able to fix everything", she reached over and grabbed the cup of water sitting next to his bedside. She held the straw up to his face, helping him take a few slow sips. He sank back into the bed afterwards, letting out a pained sigh.

"Hurts…", was all he managed to get out. Hailey's heart flip flopped in her chest. This was Jay, her partner, lying here after getting kidnapped and shot. Of course he was in pain, and it was hard watching him struggle.

"I know Jay, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry", Hailey tearfully said, apologizing for more than his discomfort as she watched him cry out in agony again, his body heaving trying to bypass the burning sensations coursing through his veins. His eyes weren't even open, he was just trying to breathe through it long enough for the pain meds to kick in. He didn't need to look at Hailey to ask her the next thing. He reached out and rested his hand on her thigh.

Hailey was trying to make him more comfortable by pulling the blanket up. When she felt him rest his hand on her knee she knew. She knew it was him asking if she was going to stay.

"How are you feeling now?" She asked him after a few minutes.

"Not great. Like I've been asleep for a year", he said hoarsely.

"You needed a little rest", she told him.

"Hailey you know I hate hospitals", he said as he felt the pain relief from the IV drugs wash over him.

"I do", she smiled.

"You gotta get me out of here", he said half joking half seriously.

Hailey's turn to laugh. "Hmm, no. Not optional. You're staying."

"Does the spoon feeding me soup offer still stand though? Might need it after the week I've had," He asked groggily, with a small grin on his face.

She flashed her dimples at him. "I will spoon feed you whatever you want." That made Jay laugh a little, then regret it as he felt the burning in his chest again. Hailey was right back there for him, setting her hand on top of his.

"Shh, just rest, I'm not going anywhere. And of course I'm going to take care of you. As long as you need it okay?" She said seriously. She watched him smile and nod, and then his eyes started to roll back.

"There, that's it", she said softly as she gently stroked his forehead with her other hand.

His last move before succumbing to the sleep his body was craving was to reach his hand out, weakly hoping that she would grab it.

She smirked, realizing that he must have known she had been sitting here holding his hand all night.

She slowly reached her hand out and ran her thumb over the back of his palm before she intertwined the rest of their fingers together. She saw his lips curl up into a grin as she felt him squeeze her hand back, like how she had been squeezing his all night.

"Close your eyes, I'm right here", she whispered as she pulled her chair closer.

He nodded with his eyes shut, hearing the sound of her voice was comforting to him. So was her warm hand in his. And her other one that was running her fingers through his hair. He leaned into her hand that was pressed against his face, wanting to soak up as much physical contact with her as possible.

"We'll be alright", was the last thing he heard before he slipped back into darkness. Once Jay was out again, Hailey bent down and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead.

Kim and Voight stood on the other side of the window of Jay's ICU room, watching this whole thing go down without their knowledge. Hailey keeping watch over Jay so tenderly almost made Kim's heart burst. Hailey was never this openly emotional, ever. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, or maybe it was just the fact that the two of them were finally realizing what everyone else has known all along. But this was just straight up heart-warming. The way Jay reached out for Hailey when he was in pain, the way Hailey was able to calm him down, telling him she wasn't going anywhere, and that she would take care of him. Even Voight looked a little misty eyed at their reunion. If that didn't tell the whole story, she wasn't sure what did.

"Come on Burgess, let's give them some privacy. Jay needs rest right now, we'll come back later", Voight put a straight face back on and ushered Kim away from the door.

That episode was so worth the wait! I've been drowning in Upstead feels all week. Hence the extra long chapter...I plan on doing a part 2 to this because who doesn't need a little more domestic/care-taking Hailey & Jay. I will probably watch that video of her helping him with his jacket for the rest of time. Thank you all for the nice reviews on this story so far, I hope you like this update and would love to hear your thoughts! Have a great week :) -K