11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

7x10 Part 2…The real missing moments

Voight waited until much later that night to come back and check on Jay. His two detectives were right where he left them. Jay was sleeping in his bed, Hailey was passed out in a recliner next to him. Their hands had fallen apart, although clear that at some point they had been together. Voight silently pulled up a chair and sat on the other side of Jay, for the first time really taking in his injuries. The gunshot was the most serious of course, but everything else had kind of been skimmed over. What he had endured up until they found him. His face was swollen and bruised, his lip was split open. The back of his head had a few staples in it, that was likely sore as well. He was proud of Jay. He didn't always show him that, but he was. Jay had been in several hairy situations over the years, but he always managed to keep his wits about him. This time he went a bit off the rails, but for good reason. Voight knew this whole Marcus West thing got to him, he should have been more careful and been watching him. Certain things triggered Jay. Hailey usually watches out for him, clearly they have something special going on here. He wasn't sure what that was exactly, or if he really wanted or needed to know. But after Erin left, and seeing what that did to Jay amongst other things, Hailey was the best thing for him. That he was sure of.

Things were quiet in his room for a while, Voight threw a blanket over Hailey, who was out cold. She had been by Jay's side immediately after surgery and not left the hospital once. There was something admirable about her loyalty to Jay. After all these years and all the stunts he's pulled, Hailey has always stuck by him. He would never forget the look on Hailey's face when she came out of that basement carrying Jay onto the stretcher and jumping into the back of the ambulance with him yelling at him to stay with her. It was haunting. The usual cool, calm, collected and stoic Hailey had disappeared and she had shown her true emotions. He had goose bumps just thinking of the pure terror on her face, and in her voice.

Voight was starting to doze off himself under the dim yellow lights of the ICU room when he heard Jay start to stir in his bed. At first he just thought he was coming around or moving to a more comfortable position. But then the crying started. It was silent at first, his face the only telltale sign that he was hurting. But after a few minutes it progressed to whimpering, and tears rolling down his face. Voight froze at first, he wasn't sure what to do.

"Shh, it's alright kid", Voight tried to calm him down, his inner father figure taking over. Right now Jay wasn't his employee.

That didn't work and Jay had started to heave, full on sob, all while keeping his eyes closed. He figured he was just having a bad dream, the nurses told him that he was being kept comfortable, the pain meds were working. He looked around and everything seemed to be alright physically, as much as to be expected. He had an ache in his own chest hearing Jay cry like this, and quickly felt it intensify as soon as he heard Jay crying out for his partner.

"Hai-ley, Hai-ley", Jay whimpered, his bottom lip quivering so hard it forced a few tears to roll down his cheek. Voight was out of his element here so he decided to wake her up.

"Upton, Upton. Hailey", Voight shook her shoulder gently.

The sound of a familiar gruff voice whispering her name woke Hailey up from a deep sleep. She was confused at first, but then quickly remembered where she was.

"Umm, hey boss", Hailey rubbed her eyes, not sure how she was going to play this. One look at Voight's face told her he didn't really care about that right now.

"Jay's been crying for you", Voight said in a strangely calm, compassionate way. Hailey would have expected a weird undertone to that in any other circumstance. It was as if he was genuinely asking for her help, for her to take the lead, as if she held the key to get Jay to stop crying. The truth was Hailey had no idea how to help Jay, well she sort of had an idea.

Hailey got up from her recliner, peering around Voight to see what was going on, even though she had a feeling she already knew.

She approached his bedside slowly, although doubting that he would actually freak out given the drugged state he was in.

"Jay…Jay, it's alright. I'm right here", she whispered, feeling a bit strange doing this in front of their boss. But alas, here they were. Any semblance of normalcy was out the door for the last few days anyway, so Hailey decided to take her free pass and run with it.

She gently sat at the edge of his bed next to him, cautiously putting a hand on his good shoulder. Voight just shuffled out of her way, standing at the edge of the bed, looking uncharacteristically nervous.

"What should we do? Think I should grab a nurse?" He whispered.

"I think he's just having a bad dream. He can get pretty worked up sometimes." She paused as she realized what just accidentally came out of her mouth.

Voight heard exactly what she said, crystal clear, but decided to pretend not to.

"Just give him a second, this usually calms him down", she revealed, quickly deflecting her accidental admission. He continued to cry and mumble for her in his sleep, as she stroked the back of his hand with her thumb, and the other hand grazing his cheek.

The Hai-ley, Hai-ley cries were breaking her heart, she hoped he would come out of this soon.

"I'm right here Jay, you're safe, shhh, see, right here", she squeezed his hand softly and continued to soothe him.

It took a little longer than usual, but Jay eventually calmed down enough to stop crying in his sleep. His whimpering turned into soft sighs, his body trying to fight the nightmare on top of other things. Crying out her name was new though. If this wasn't such a serious situation with him lying in a hospital bed post surgery, that would have made her feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Hailey turned around to see Voight pop back in with a cool washcloth.

"Justin used to like a cold towel when he was feeling sick…", he trailed off. Clearly he was trying his best here to help Jay, Hailey's heart swelled at the mention of his own son.

"Thanks Sarge", Hailey took it from him and lightly dabbed it around his face to cool him off before setting it across Jay's forehead.

Jay started to come out of his dream and back to reality after feeling the coolness across his face. His eyes fluttered open a few times, before getting into focus and seeing Hailey looking straight at him.

"Hey", he cleared his throat.

"Hey", she said quietly. He recognized the feeling in his body, despite the pain medication he was on, he knew the anxious and feverish feeling all too well. Before he said anything else he looked to Hailey's left and saw Voight standing there too.

"Sarge", Jay greeted him, with a smile.

"Hey kid. How are you feeling?" Voight smiled.

"Been better. These pain meds are giving me bad dreams", he kept glancing at Hailey, who knew the truth. Voight knew too, but he let the lie go.

"That's alright, just try to rest. Everything is going to be okay", Voight replied.

Jay tried to ask him about Angela and everything else going on, but Voight stopped him.

"Don't worry about that right now, I'm handling it. Just focus on getting yourself better. Take all the time you need. Hailey, you're going to take some time too, you've both been through a lot these last few days." He addressed the partners as a unit, because in reality that's what they were. He knew that Hailey wouldn't be focused if she was at work while Jay was recovering in the hospital and at home. The least he could do would be to give her some time to be with her partner after what he just witnessed her do for him in his sleep.

She attempted to reject that offer, mumbling something about the team needing her, them being down one already. But Voight wasn't having any of it.

"Save it Upton", he put his hand out. "Take care of your partner, and yourself. That's an order."

Hailey glanced at Jay who had a slight smirk in the corner of his lip. Her dimple popped out, "Thanks Sarge."

Voight left the room, seeing Will Halstead standing outside.

"Hey Will. He seems to be doing alright, aside from a bad dream."

"Hailey calmed him down?" Will said, not so much a question, more of a statement.

Voight nodded suspiciously. "She seems to have the magic touch."

"There isn't really much that helps this, except her I think", Will admitted quietly.

"They are quite the pair", Voight confirmed, for the first time actually realizing what had been blossoming right under his nose for who knows how long.

"She doesn't know this fully…but the last thing he said before losing consciousness and coming out of surgery was "Please Will, I want Hailey. Tell her I'm sorry", Will laughed, half jealous and emotional thinking of that. Jay was scared when he said it, asking for the one person who was a comfort to him.

"Guess I'm chopped liver. I asked him this morning what he remembered and he doesn't seem to recall that, probably wouldn't admit it to me even if he did though." Will laughed alongside Voight.

Voight chuckled but paused when he saw Will get a little choked up.

"All he wanted was her, even while he was lying there bleeding out. He thought he was going to die and he wanted to make sure she knew…", Will shook his head and cut himself off.

"Hailey is his safe place", Voight stated, in a strange honest way. Verbalizing it was bizarre for him, but once the words spilled out of his mouth he realized they were true.

Will blinked rapidly and realized what he just insinuated to Jay's boss.

"I know what you're thinking, but I think this is different now", the older Halstead tried to back track.

Voight voiced what Will was implying. "When Jay was with Erin, I hated it. Even when I did come around to the idea, I still wasn't too keen on it. At the time, I figured it was just because it was Erin, a daughter to me really. That's not to say they didn't have their bright spots. But looking back now, maybe it's because I knew deep down they just weren't right for each other."

Will looked surprised by this information, not sure how much he should really be saying about Hailey and Jay. He was pretty sure Hailey and Jay hadn't even talked about Hailey and Jay.

"And you're right, I think this is different now. Even if they don't know it yet", Voight replied, putting an end to the conversation. Will nodded and smiled.

Voight yawned and checked his watch. 3:30 am.

"Alright I am out of here doc, call me if anything changes", Voight waved goodbye and left Will standing outside of Jay's room. He entered quietly, seeing that they had both fallen back asleep again, this time Hailey was holding more of his brother in her arms.

Later the next day, Jay was finally cleared to go home from the hospital. Dr. Marcel made it clear that he would feel better if he stayed another night so they could monitor him, but was comfortable enough with his progress that he didn't think he was in any danger. It didn't help that Jay had been constantly bugging the staff the entire day to send him home, trying to convince everyone that he was well enough. He had made significant strides compared to where he was the day before after all. By his standards, two days in the hospital was two too many.

Will stood outside as a nurse helped Jay get changed into regular clothes, much to his resistance. But he agreed he would rather a nurse than his brother, so this was their compromise. Hailey had left the hospital earlier that morning to head back into work to finish up a case the team was working on. She was reluctant to go, but Jay told her he was fine and that she didn't need to stay another day. She was excited when he called her telling her he would be released later that night.

It took a bit longer than he anticipated but Jay was finally dressed and feeling a bit more like himself, although his shoulder was still aching.

He walked out looking smugly at Will who rolled his eyes.

"You do realize the only reason you're being discharged today and not tomorrow is because I know Hailey is staying to take care of you right?"

Jay pondered that for a second, he assumed that she was staying with him. He just didn't realize Will did. "Who said she's staying with me?" Jay laughed.

"Don't even try me with that look. Hailey didn't leave here once", Will's turn to tease.

"Ya, ya. I know. I'm going to take it easy I promise", Jay told his brother.

"You better, I'm serious Jay. You just had surgery. You aren't out of the woods yet. And I know you, you have a tendency to over-do things."

Their conversation was interrupted when Hailey walked into the room, smiling seeing her partner standing on his own two feet.

"Hailey, I left you a bag and some instructions for him later okay? He's going to fight you on it but you need to keep him in bed for the rest of the day. He can start moving around more tomorrow, but he still needs to take it easy. You can call me if you have any questions, or if anything happens tonight", Will told her before giving them some privacy.

"Hey", she said as she walked over to him. She had been working herself up the whole drive over to finally come clean and tell Jay how she really felt about him. Seeing him standing there made her heart jump out of her chest.

"Hey", he said while tightening his sling.

"I brought you your badge and undercover phone from before…"

"Before it all went to hell?" Jay tried to make light of the situation.

"Ya something like that", she grinned.

He was struggling to put his own jacket on so she immediately set her things down and went to give him a hand. She gently pulled his coat over his injured shoulder, adjusting it so he was warm enough, like it was second nature for her. She lingered for just a second extra, briefly inhaling his scent. She didn't see the smile he had on his face while she was helping him. He would hate it if anyone else was doing this for him, it was hard for him to accept help- but not from her. She was so tender about it, he felt a rush of emotions before he heard her speak.

"Listen um…when you were in surgery, no one knew what was going to happen", Hailey stuttered out as Jay listened to her intently.

"And, and it made me realize that I wanted to tell you something", she looked at him so genuinely, the warmth in her eyes and familiar smile made it seem like he's known her all his life.

"Okay", he smiled back at her, tempting her to say what he could see was just on the tip of her tongue. He wanted her to say it, so badly. He was scared to say it first. He thought it might actually happen for a split second, before his undercover phone started to ring. He cursed it silently.

The words were on the tip of her tongue, how easy it would be to have them roll off. But she held back. She loved Jay, a part of her always knew that. But today made her come to terms with the feelings that she was attempting to keep deep down.

Those feelings were temporarily put on hold when she saw him reach for his phone.

"Sorry", he apologized to her for turning his attention away, but he could see that the moment had passed.

"What were you going to say?" He tried to encourage her to continue, but he could see her pull back.

"I'm just really glad you're okay", she covered it up, but her face told him there was more. There was this sudden distance put between them again, just when he thought it was closing for good. He felt the literal and figurative space between them, the space where so much love could be. Hailey went to go pull the car around and he was left standing there with a deep pain in his chest, not from the surgery, but that of regret.

Hailey pursed her lips on the way back to her car, trying to get what just happened out of her head. This wasn't the right time. Maybe the phone call was a sign from the universe to hold back. In reality, she held back because she was scared that he wasn't ready, that she wasn't ready either. How it would inevitably change things between them forever.

She had to quickly put that out of her mind and switch gears. Regardless of the near love confession, she still had to look after Jay tonight, there was no time for awkwardness. She knew he really should be staying in the hospital another night but he basically signed himself out. That meant he actually would need some care and Will was trusting her big time on this one.

Hailey was ready for him at the exit, smiling as Will pushed him through the doors in a wheelchair, which Jay scoffed at. He was reminded that this was hospital policy and he had to be pushed whether he liked it or not. Truth be told, he was feeling a bit weak after everything, so being pushed around wasn't so bad, although he would never admit it.

Hailey came around and grabbed his hand to help him up out of the wheelchair. Will smiled as he gave Jay a hug and told him he never wanted to see him in his emergency department again.

"I'll come by after my shift tomorrow morning", he whispered to Hailey, who at this point he just assumed was staying at his brother's place with him, maybe even taking him to her house who knows. Even Voight, the ultimate man of few words, confirmed that was going on.

She nodded and helped Jay into her car and buckled his seatbelt before getting into the driver's side, pulling off and away from Med.

"I'm glad to be going home Hails", Jay said wearily through a yawn.

"I know you are, I'm happy too Jay. Close your eyes okay", she smiled as she watched him drift off for the drive home.

After arriving back at his apartment, the two of them made a slow walk up to the elevator and down the hall. She was trying not to hover and fuss over him, so she stayed far enough back to let him walk by himself but close enough to be there if he was unsteady on his feet. He plopped himself down gingerly on the couch the second he walked through the door.

"You okay?" Hailey said softly as she crouched down in front of him, and watched him taking deep breaths, his head leaning back on the couch with his eyes closed.

"Ya", he finally got out after he composed himself, his head was throbbing. He never thought walking would take this much out of him. She set a hand on his knee.

"I know. We'll go slow okay? It's almost time for some more pain meds, you just have to eat something first. You hungry?" She sensed he was not feeling very well.

"I could eat", he said with a small smile on his face.

"Good. I don't know what you have here, but I'll make you whatever you want."

"Grilled cheese?" He asked her politely, with a twinkle in his eye.

Hailey laughed, "Grilled cheese it is." While she was still bent down she untied his shoes and slid them off for him, he glanced at her with a gaze she couldn't pin point.

"What is it?" She asked curiously.

He hesitated, she could see the vulnerability in his eyes. "You don't have to do all of this for me Hailey."

"Jay…", she gave him a look telling him he was being ridiculous.

"You just had surgery yesterday, and need to rest. Please don't be stubborn, let me help you." She smiled as she saw him consider her offer, "Besides, how else are you going to bend down to untie your shoes?"

"Okay you got me there", he smiled and agreed to accept her help. "But if it's too much I can call Will", he added.

"It's not too much. You're my partner, of course I'm going to take care of you. Just relax okay, don't worry about that." She said as she went into the kitchen to start on something to eat.

Leave it to Jay to have the basics only for grilled cheese. She was back with sandwiches for the two of them in no time, giving Jay some of his independence back since he was able to feed himself. Although, at this point she was sure he wouldn't object to her spoon feeding him some soup, maybe tomorrow.

"Thanks Hailey", he said after he was finished with his food.

"No problem. Do you want some painkillers?" Hailey barely finished her sentence before Jay immediately said yes. Hailey raised her eyebrows at that.

"My head really hurts, and my shoulder is throbbing", he explained.

Jay never admitted when he wasn't feeling good, the more she looked at him, the paler he seemed. So he must actually be having a rough time.

"Okay, ya of course. Be right back."

He nodded and did some more deep breathing. Hailey returned to the couch with his medicine. He took them gratefully and after a few minutes was his chatty self once again. Hailey chuckled, Jay high on pain killers was a mood.

"Why don't you go lie down in your bed Jay? You need to sleep," She suggested. He made a pouty puppy dog face at her as she helped him off the couch, put a hand around his lower back and started walking him to his room.

She got him settled in his room, although he kept insisting he was fine and wanted to stay up to watch a movie.

"We can watch a movie in here", she said motioning to the TV in his bedroom, he raised his eyebrows provocatively when she suggested she would be joining him in his bed.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Halstead", she replied, reading his mind, to which they both giggled.

"I'm still on bed rest Hailey Anne", he smirked, mocking her.

"Exactly, and that's where I intend to keep you", she said suggestively right back as she propped up his pillows and helped him ease back down into his bed. She gently placed an ice pack under his neck and saw the instant relief from the cold on his face.

He whispered his thanks. Despite the joking around, he was feeling drained and she knew that.

"I'll come back in a bit, just have some things to catch up on", she whispered as she tucked him into his bed. He nodded and dozed off within a few minutes.

She tip toed out of the room and shut the lights and the door. She checked her phone, it was just after 8 at night. This day had gone by fast, she was tired too. She figured Jay would be done for the night, she wasn't going to go in there and disturb him by putting a movie on. So instead, she got to work in his apartment. Cleaning up, trying to make the place feel like home again. She started on some minestrone in the kitchen and checked his fridge and cupboards to see what she needed to pick up at the grocery store tomorrow. No shocker to her at all, it was mostly everything. She laughed at Jay, how he ever survived on his own boggled her mind.

She checked in on him about half an hour later to take the ice pack off of his neck, he didn't even flinch when she slipped her hand under his neck, jostling him slightly. That's how she really knew he was tired, Jay was the lightest sleeper of all time. Will had texted her to see how he was doing, as did the rest of the team. She replied to each of them, reassuring them all that he was fine and sleeping. His couch and Netflix were calling her name, so she melted into where he was sitting last and dozed off.

A few hours later, Hailey jumped awake, feeling a rush of panic looking at the time. Jay was still silent in his room, but she needed to give him more medicine. Jay perked up when she opened the door, too exhausted to get out of bed again. His pale face was telling her it was definitely time for some pain relief, even though she knew he would tell her he was feeling fine.

"You alright?" She came in with a glass of water.

Jay grimaced through the pain, "I will be in a second." He sat up slowly and tried to take the glass, but shrieked when he raised his good arm to grab it. His chest was on fire.

Hailey sat on the edge of his bed and placed her hand where his were on his ribs, easing him back slowly.

"You're okay, I have painkillers for you", she reassured him. He was starting to tear up again the burning sensation was so severe. She instructed him to open his mouth as she put a few in and helped him take a sip of water. He swallowed them and waited for a minute before letting out a breath, signalling to her that they had kicked in.

"This is so frustrating", he said with his eyes still closed.

"I know, but you've made so much progress in just these few days. It's going to get better I promise. Your body has been through a lot of trauma. Just rest, I'm going to be here to do everything else."

"Partner of the year. Who knew, Hailey Upton, live in nurse", Jay said with a smile.

Hailey rolled her eyes, his sense of humour was clearly operating fine.

"Well it was either me or Ruzek and Kev so….figured you wouldn't want their shitty cooking", they both laughed.

"I'll always pick you, you know that", he said a bit more seriously.

"I know you will", she said softly as she ran her fingers through his hair, watching him lose the battle in staying awake once again.

Disappointed PD skimmed over Jay's recovery, but I guess that's what FanFiction is for! I have another chapter for sure planned for some domestic Upstead, maybe more who knows! I'll see where it takes me. Thank you for reading and reviewing as always! P.S. Still thinking about the jacket scene, I might never recover from the fact that Hailey and Jay are low key a married couple- anyone else? –K