178 - Yodeling in Afghanistan

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White House,

"They're gone, missing. We didn't find their bodies either. So either they are dead, or they have escaped." William J. Rawlins III, Director of Covert Operations for the CIA, reported to the President.

*BAM*

"THAT BASTARD! He took them. I know it." President MacArthur knew he was in deep shit now.

"W-Who, sir?"

"WASHINGTON! He's back. He never died, God knows what he was doing, but he's planning something. Go and find the squad, kill them all, or else I will not go down alone if I get caught. I will take each of those capitalist bastards with me,"

...

♪I went across to Switzerland

Where all the Yodellers be

To try to learn to yodel

With my yodel-oh-ee-dee...♪

"Sing with me, boys!" So Hector, the madlad he was, kept his yodelling spree with Moony while they crossed the desert lands of Afghanistan. Every now and then, they would come across some impoverished village, house or people, and he'd give them food and water.

Of course, they also met their fair share of trigger-happy AK wielders. Hector was glad to ram his desert truck on them and kill them immediately. But unfortunately, Frank Castle's bike had gone bad, so he was also sitting in the truck.

"Frank, kid, sing with us," Hector forced him.

"This ain't 40's, sir. I don't know how to," Frank tried to turn him down.

Hector scoffed, "Haha, yodelling is not that hard, kid. You just let yourself go, loosen your throat and sing from the heart. Besides, I'm a man from the 1800s; Yodelling was new to me too. Right Kennedy?"

Kennedy was good at singing, however. Bastard revealed that he tried to learn a lot of musical instruments, dance, and singing forms to get famous with chicks when he was young. In fact, his first wish was to become a Hollywood celebrity. Then world war started. He joined the Army and met Hector. Everything changed from then on.

Though he did act in a few movies like Hector did. But he stopped after getting married to Marilyn.

"Yup, the old prez is correct. Just go with the flow,"

"OOOOOOO AWO AWO AWOOOOOOOOO..."

Kennedy laughed, "See, even Moony can do it,"

Frank Castle was a stoic man, but can he say no when two legendary presidents and the first good boy of America were ordering him. So he relented and tried as well.

Hector thought about something then, "I have a dream, though. I wish to hear Mongolian Throat singing and yodelling combined. I wonder how that would sound,"

"Don't know about the sound, but it sure will fuck up the throat," Kennedy muttered.

"Ah, look, I think it's that cave over there," Hector exclaimed suddenly. Although he saw it from a distance, others had to use binoculars.

"What do we do now? Go straight in?" Frank inquired.

Hector started to reverse the car instead, "Now is not the time. It still hasn't been three months. When we see some activity happening, we will go. Until then, let's head to the nearby town and feast. Make the villagers happy. Kennedy, you are to go door to door and do a survey of how they feel about America,"

"My old bones... fine,"

"You're a bloody Super Soldier. Act like one."

...

Inside the cave occupied by Ten Rings terrorists, Tony Stark and Ho Yinsen were forced to create Jericho missiles. Of course, the two sneaky boys were more interested in getting out of there. So with Ho Yinsen's medical expertise and Tony's engineering skills, they made the first Iron Man suit.

It was shocking to them, as well, how they could create it while being watched. But at the same time, it was understandable. They made it in parts, and the terrorists were all illiterate fools.

But now they were busted, and the door to their lab was being smashed repeatedly.

"Quick, doctor. We don't have time," Tony rushed.

"The suit is not finished. Let me connect the last of the wires," Yinsen sweated but worked his magic.

*BAM*

The door opened. Tony quickly raised his right armour hand and shot a missile at it, "Hide somewhere, doctor. We're getting out of here today,"

"The suit is still not powdered up, Tony. You need a few more minutes. I will buy you time!" he picked up the gun left by the previously dead terrorists and started shooting like crazy.

Of course, he was no soldier and was hit back. Multiple bullets wounded his torso, sending his body flying back. Tony ran out of his suit to him, "DOCTOR!"

"It's okay... go. Don't waste your life on me. My death was already due. I will finally be united with my family."

"But your family is in the village," Tony pressed the wounds.

"I lied. G-Go... win your freedom... use this new life for goo..." Ho Yinsen's eyes shut close and his body went limp.

Tony's eyes got filled with mad fury. The man here was his only help, and he couldn't save him. His weapons were probably used to kill Ho Yinsen's family too. Regret, shame and rage soared in his heart.

"I won't," he ran back into his suit and jumped in. He wasted no time heading out, creating a carnage of destruction in his path.

As he left, a magical portal opened. Hector, Moony, Kennedy and Frank got out of it.

"Moony, heal that man. Frank, look around for mines and such. Kennedy, you come with me," He quickly walked out the way Tony went. As he walked, he saw burning corpses and blackened walls. The first Iron Man armour sure had some crazy firepower.

The most amazing thing, however, was the arc reactor. How the fuck can someone create a mini fusion reactor with scraps? It doesn't make sense.

"He sure went crazy here," Kennedy muttered.

"Well, he did get his ass beaten by his own weapons. It seems he's got some real thinking to do after this is over." Hector kept walking out of the cave.

"AAAA..."

However, Tony did miss a few of them. Now they were either hiding or half burnt. Hector loaded his old revolver, "He needs to learn how to clean the enemies neatly. Now I have to do it,"

*BANG*

He shot any guy he found on his way. They all had deep red markers on their heads anyway. Though he was looking for their leader as the man would lead him to the owner of Ten Rings.

"Oh, look, there he is. Unfortunately, I don't think he can survive," Kenndy pointed as they saw an RPG hitting Tony's armour.

*BOOM*

"He made a strong armour. Make sure you don't take it along when he's done with it. It will be a bait and my way to take more chunks of Stark Industries. Tony is a great inventor but a shit businessman."

Kennedy chuckled, "He says he is a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. So what are you then?"

After thinking for a second, he replied, "I am a Strong Genius Philanthropist Grandpa." But he didn't stop there, "And you would be talented philanthropist debauchee,"

Kennedy refuted, "You're wrong, sir. I only became a debauchee after my wife died. To her, I was the most faithful man. It's not my fault; this Super Solder body also has super balls. Perhaps you have them too, but you're a virgin, so you won't know."

Shots were fired, and Hector was annoyed, "That's why the people love me,"

"Sure, whatever lets you sleep at night, sir."

*WOOSH*

Just then, they saw Tony starting up his jetpacks and flying away to a great height. The fight was over, and now Hector could start. "Guns out, start killing all of them except that one bald lad,"

"No innocents among them?"

He shook his head, "No, there could have been some if they were regular terrorists. But these belong to Ten Rings, the organisation whose goal is to spread chaos, as it's a fine ladder to power,"

*BANG!*

Straight headshots pierced some skulls, "Let's see who has more kills,"

Kennedy folded his sleeves, "All right then,"

*BANG!*

*BANG!*

One after another, gunshots resounded. The terrorists who were looking at Tony flying away were now turning around, confused about why this noise was coming.

Slowly, they picked up their rifles in preparation as the sound got closer. There were two distinct laughs every time the gunshots came.

"Bwahaha... I won, Kennedy. You're too slow at taking a shot."

"You don't even look at them before shooting,"

"Well, if you had learned to use the right gun more, you'd have been better. Haha..."

The terrorists stood amazed. From the cave came out two old men as if they were strolling in the park. It didn't even cross their minds that they should start shooting them.

Hector scoffed, "Should have shot me to get an extra second to breathe, now die!"

Out of nowhere, Hector's right palm got covered in blue energy. He slammed it straight onto the ground. *BOOM*

The blue energy wave spread around in a radius of tens of metres. Cracks appeared on the ground, swallowing the terrorists in them. Hector smilingly walked towards the bald man who was their leader.

"You are Raza?" he asked.

"How do you have the powers of the rings?" Raza was more amazed by that.

"Haha, ten rings? Those are mere toys. All right, enough games." He rushed forward faster than the speed anyone could react. He appeared behind Raza like a towering statue.

"You will take me to your master." *BAM*

Just a knock on the head kept. But the others were still alive. So he picked up an AK, "Ah, the most reliable rifle globally. *DA DA DA DA*"

He sprayed bullets around, and it appeared he was shooting at everything, but each shot precisely hit where he wanted to. It was not too shocking; anyone could get this good after a century of service.

The bloody massacre killed a dozen of them. Good for Hector; the gun had enough bullets for all. "Let's go, Kennedy. Moony must have reached him,"

...

Tony Stark was amazed that his suit made of scraps could keep him alive, especially in this steep fall from the sky. He kissed the ground; the sand tasted like holy water to him.

Feeling powerless and tired, he took a minute to rest by laying on his back. The sun still hit his face, blinding his eyes, but he didn't care.

*LICK*

Suddenly, he felt something wet and rough rubbing against his cheeks. He tried to open his eyes, and all he saw was a big black dot.

*LICK*

This time it felt a bit nasty. The wet liquid slowly slid down his cheeks onto his ears and neck. He quickly sat up, "W-What?"

As his vision returned, he saw a ball of snow, "Woah... snow in a desert?"

Then it became clear, "Wait! That's not..."

"WOOF!"

Moony licked his face again, given a nice bug slurp. "Wowowow wuf,"

Tony looked left and right, "A snow wolf?"

"BOW! Grrrrr..." ~I'm Moony, you forgot me? I sad,~

And when the good boy is sad, he bites. *NOM* Of course, he didn't hurt him, but still, Tony found his whole skull between the wolf's jaws. He screamed like a little bitch.

"MAAAAAAAAA...! FUCK FUCK! Dying by a bullet was better than this. NO! GO AWAY! SHO!"

He punched around, but all he felt was the fluffy fur. Moony was silently giggling in himself. But now it was time to get his dad here.

HURT ME WITH YOUR STONES! UWU!

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