Chapter 12: Wavering

In this year, Xue Cen still had a bit of youthful innocence, appearing refined and scholarly.

He paid respects to General Yu at the steps, engaging in lively conversation with his friend Yu Huanchen. However, his gaze involuntarily wandered to the corridor, following a slender and charming figure.

"What are you looking at?" Yu Huanchen followed his line of sight, then playfully hooked Xue Cen's shoulder with one arm, teasing, "I told you, you are officially engaged to my elder sister. How come your eyes are fixed on my second sister? You can't have your cake and eat it too, you know!"

"Yu Huanchen!"

Yu Xinyi hated it when others joked about this matter, and she slammed the stone table in anger, coldly chuckling, "Say that again? Who has agreed to marry that bookish guy!"

Xue Cen had a good temper, smiling as he shook off Yu Huanchen's hand. Instinctively, he touched his sleeve and called softly, "Second Sister."

Yu Lingxi, who was pouring tea, turned around and smiled, nodding in greeting, "Brother Cen."

"Second Sister, can we talk for a moment?" Xue Cen, with a warm light in his eyes, gestured invitingly.

The Yu family was open-minded, without many strict rules. Yu Lingxi nodded and walked with him to a quiet place.

"For you, Second Sister." Xue Cen took out a small and delicate gift box from his sleeve and handed it to Yu Lingxi with great solemnity.

Meanwhile, in the hall, Lady Yu looked towards the Moon Cave gate in the courtyard, and her tea-making slowed down. She gently pushed General Yu's arm, softly suggesting, "Husband, don't you think Xue Erlang and our family have become closer over the years?"

General Yu blew on the tea leaves, looked outside through the window, and chuckled. "The Xue family is the leader of the civil officials, and our Yu residence is the most prominent among the military. The two families have a long-standing relationship, and it's normal for the children to play together frequently. It's nothing."

"Although that's true, the children have grown up and are not like their childhood days." Lady Yu gave her husband a reproachful look, "You've forgotten, initially, the Xue family and ours agreed on an informal engagement. Though it was not specified which daughter of ours they would marry, it was tacitly understood that it would be Xinyi since Yu Sui was not born at that time. I'm worried that if Sui Sui and Xue Erlang become too close, it might cause trouble for both our daughters."

"Madam worries too much." General Yu put down his teacup, comforting Lady Yu by patting her still tender hand. "Both daughters are my treasures. It doesn't matter which one the Xue family marries. As long as the children like each other, that's enough."

"Well, Xinyi doesn't seem to have any romantic feelings for Xue Erlang. If Sui Sui truly likes him..." After some thought, Lady Yu said, "Let me ask our daughter's opinion. And, husband, please inquire about the Xue family's thoughts."

General Yu agreed.

Under the Moon Cave gate, sunlight cast lazy, elongated shadows.

Opening the gift box, Yu Lingxi found a beautifully carved white jade pen with purple hairs. Bamboo pens were judged by their lacquer color, while jade pens were judged by their carving. This delicate jade pen was obviously crafted by a master, requiring considerable effort.

"Brother Cen, this pen is too precious." Yu Lingxi's first reaction was to refuse.

Without changing his posture, Xue Cen said warmly, "It was an unexpected find. Thinking of Second Sister's proficiency in calligraphy and painting, I took the liberty to buy it. If you don't like it, then I have handled it improperly."

At this point, rejecting it further would be somewhat impolite. Yu Lingxi had no choice but to accept it with both hands and smiled, "I appreciate it, Brother Cen."

"As long as you like it." Xue Cen looked at her smiling eyes, his ears slightly red.

However, a hint of loneliness emerged in his heart.

The adorable girl in front of him was still affectionate and sincere, but not as infatuated as before. The blush of shyness was gone from her small face.

Not only Xue Cen, but Yu Xinyi also noticed that something was amiss.

"Sui Sui, did Xue Cen upset you?" When the sisters chatted in the room after returning, Yu Xinyi asked.

Yu Lingxi blinked, "Why would elder sister say that?"

With her ponytail high, Yu Xinyi untied her sword and sat at the table, saying confidently, "Didn't you used to chase after Xue Cen like a little tail? But today, you were so quiet, and you left without saying much."

"Is that so?" Yu Lingxi looked surprised, "I used to chase after him?"

Yu Xinyi laughed, "That kind of puppy love is so obvious even a blind person could see."

Yu Lingxi recalled, but memories of her past life with Xue Cen in their youth seemed foggy and indistinct. What she remembered was the night when she, helpless and forced into the Regent's mansion, was accompanied by Xue Cen who rode through the pouring rain outside the Regent's mansion, pleading for her the whole night.

It was after the incident at the Zhao family's birthday banquet when Xue Cen took all the blame in prison and had two fingers broken.

Yu Lingxi would forever hold that favor in her heart.

Seeing Xue Cen again, as warm as ever, made Yu Lingxi happy. It was as if the guilt and indebtedness that tormented her for so long were instantly smoothed away at this moment.

But beyond that, she had no other romantic feelings.

It felt like...

Yu Lingxi's gaze turned to the pepper powder and tea snacks on the table, and an inappropriate analogy emerged: it was like, after experiencing the sharp and spicy pepper, it became difficult to taste the blandness of the porridge.

She didn't know when, but Xue Cen had become a presence in her heart like an elder brother.

"What are you thinking?" Yu Xinyi approached, bringing her back to reality.

Yu Lingxi snapped out of it, placed the precious white jade pen with purple hairs on the pen holder, and blinked, saying with a smile, "I'm thinking when Brother Cen became my brother-in-law."

"You're asking for trouble!" Yu Xinyi pinched her sister's cheek, scoffing, "That bookish guy is all over you, but I don't want him! Take him, take him!"

...

This year, the capital was bitterly cold, and a heavy snowfall came at the end of the year.

On New Year's Eve, the Yu mansion was brightly lit, as if it were daytime. The warm light of lanterns projected onto the snowy courtyard, creating a lively scene.

On New Year's Eve, ancestral worship was followed by staying up all night and drinking Tusu wine.

Yu Huanchen came from the steward with a stack of New Year's greeting cards, smiling, "This year's cards are more than usual, and many are from the noble families in the capital, expressing intentions of marriage. Sui Sui, want to take a look?"

Yu Lingxi never expected that, after helping the Yu family escape the disaster of the northern expedition, she would not escape the wave of marriage proposals at the age of fifteen.

She added two spoons of pepper powder to the Tusu wine casually, saying indifferently, "No need to look."

General Yu spoke from the main seat, coaxing, "When a girl reaches fifteen, discussing marriage is a tradition. It won't hurt to take a look."

Yu Huanchen added a playful remark on the side, "Father, the little sister may have someone in her heart already!"

Yu Lingxi also smiled, her bright eyes shining in the light, "Father, Mother, the eldest brother hasn't married yet. It makes sense for the younger sister to wait until he marries the Su family girl before discussing our matters."

"Smart girl," General Yu's attacking force was successfully diverted. Then he turned to his son with a stern look, "After the New Year, go to the Su family and take care of your marriage matters."

Yu Huanchen immediately looked as if his was sentenced, casting a resentful glance at his younger sister and giving up the struggle.

Yu Xinyi took pleasure in her brothers misfortune, giving Yu Lingxi a big thumbs up.

Taking advantage of the family's concern for Yu Huanchen's marriage, Yu Lingxi slipped out of the door to get some fresh air.

Having drunk quite a bit that night, her cheeks were flushed. Seeking coolness, she walked along the covered corridor, letting the cool night breeze, carrying the cold of ice and snow, blow away the heat on her body.

She didn't know how long she had walked. The lights gradually dimmed, and on the eaves, the pale snow revealed a faint blue arc in the night sky.

Yu Lingxi heard the sound of sweeping snow, and as she stopped to look, she saw a slender figure in the dimness, holding a broom and clearing the accumulated snow in the backyard, alone and lonely.

Tonight, on New Year's Eve, all the servants and attendants changed into new clothes and gathered in the front courtyard, awaiting their rewards at midnight. Consequently, the back courtyard was left unattended.

Except for the person clearing the snow.

Yu Lingxi felt a fondness and reached into the small purse she carried, saying to Hutao, who was holding a lantern, "It's New Year's Eve, and someone is still clearing snow. Quite diligent. Go and bring him over to receive his reward."

Hutao responded with an "okay" and called out, "The one clearing the snow, Miss is calling you, come over!"

The figure clearing the snow paused and turned around.

Yu Lingxi was momentarily stunned, and the name "Ning Yin" almost slipped out of her mouth. Thinking that in this lifetime, she probably wouldn't recognize him, she forcibly swallowed the name that almost escaped her lips and asked, "Are you healed? What are you doing here?"

Then she turned to Hutao, "Is someone pressuring him, forcing him to work?"

Hutao shook his head, looking equally puzzled.

"I chose to do this myself."

Ning Yin, dressed in a dark blue martial robe, stood tall as if holding a broom were akin to wielding a sword that could determine life and death.

He lowered his eyes, showing no trace of timidity, and said calmly, "The snowy path is slippery. I'm afraid Miss might slip."

Yu Lingxi stared at the path paved with thin layers of ice on the bluestone, remaining silent for a while.

Ning Yin, however, misunderstood her intentions. He leaned the broom against the wall and then approached slowly.

Shadows peeled away from him layer by layer, and the warm light from the octagonal lanterns brightened his youthful face. In Yu Lingxi's puzzled gaze, he, in a submissive posture, lifted his robe, half-knelt, intertwined his fingers, palms facing up, and placed his hands on the frozen bluestone.

"What are you doing?" Yu Lingxi asked.

Ning Yin raised his head, reflecting the bright and vivid figure of her in the red skirt in his calm eyes, and said calmly, "The stone path is slippery. Please walk on my palms, Miss."

He spoke so calmly, with no hint of humiliation or shame in his pitch-black eyes, as if this were how things should be.

Yu Lingxi felt a surge of anger from an unknown source, furrowing her brows, "I think I've told you not to bring that demeaning act from the Immortal City into my mansion."

Ning Yin realized she was angry, glanced at her, and quickly lowered his gaze.

The fingers on the frozen bluestone gradually curled up, and the joints turned red. His bowed, half-kneeling posture looked somewhat desolate.

Yu Lingxi sighed lightly, softened her tone, "Alright, get up. Don't do this in the future."

Ning Yin stood up, standing aside.

Frost adorned his eyelashes, fragile yet beautiful, not knowing how long he had been sweeping in the freezing cold.

He was a temporary inhabitant in the mansion, recovering from his injuries. In the lively scene of receiving rewards for the New Year, naturally, no one paid attention to him.

Yu Lingxi took the lantern from Hutao, placed it on the stone path to melt the thin ice, and then instructed Hutao, "Go and fetch some Tusu wine and hot food for him. It's New Year's, and he shouldn't miss out on a hot drink."

Hutao went off to arrange it.

Yu Lingxi didn't hurry to leave, sitting by the carved railing in the corridor to rest.

After a while, the low and stubborn voice of the young man came through, piercing the cold night wind, "I just want to repay Miss and make her happy."

Yu Lingxi was surprised, glancing at the young man standing by the steps.

Midnight had arrived, and fireworks soared into the sky, bursting into colorful patterns against the dark blue night. For that moment, the myriad lights and snowy scenery in the city paled in comparison.

A chorus of congratulations echoed in the front courtyard, lively and bustling, but in Ning Yin's eyes, there was only the black silence of the night, where light and darkness were indistinguishable.

Suddenly, Yu Lingxi remembered that in her past life, the Regent's mansion never celebrated the New Year or hung lanterns.

While the capital was lit up and lively, the mansion remained as quiet as a tomb, lacking even a red lantern or a peach-shaped talisman.

The only vivid color throughout the New Year was probably the blood stained on Ning Yin's lower garment.

Once, when Ning Yin was in a good mood, with drunken eyes, he asked Yu Lingxi what she wanted.

How could Yu Lingxi dare to make any excessive requests?

After thinking for a while, she finally came up with, "I want to see the lanterns on Lantern Festival."

Ning Yin bit her lower lip teasingly, licking away the blood droplets on it, and said with a smile, "Sure."

But on Lantern Festival day, what awaited them was an imperial edict from the remnants of the empress's party, joined by eunuchs, meticulously creating a feast for Ning Yin.

That night, blood flowed like a river in front of the imperial steps.

After cleaning the fresh blood from his fingertips, Ning Yin took Yu Lingxi up to the high platform on the palace wall and let her witness the most intense and unforgettable "lantern display" in the entire city.

However, what hung from each pillar was not lanterns but people—

Screams and wails echoed, the vivid courtiers and officials writhing in agony. It was the first time Ning Yin killed in front of her, and Yu Lingxi's face turned as white as paper. She would forever remember the look in his eyes at that moment.

He smiled with a hook, his eyes reflecting the fireworks of the "sky lantern," making it difficult to distinguish between heavenly gods and earthly demons. The desperate and insane destruction was vastly different from the silent youth before her.

For some reason, Yu Lingxi, with the radiance of the New Year fireworks in her eyes, felt a hint of sentiment. If Ning Yin hadn't experienced those hardships and betrayals, would he have become different?

This thought only passed through her mind like a ripple, and she quickly shook it off.

"Miss, the food is here." Hutao led four maids, bringing a large pile of steaming food and even the stove to warm the wine. After arranging the food and wine, Yu Lingxi sat slightly upright and glanced at the young man on the corridor, pursing her lips, "Come over."

Ning Yin showed clear surprise in his eyes. He slowly ascended the stone steps, standing in front of Yu Lingxi but refusing to sit.

Seeing his pitiful appearance, Yu Lingxi felt a tightness in her heart. She reached out, forcibly pulling him to sit on the long bench by the carved railing.

Pouring a cup of hot wine herself, sprinkling two spoonfuls of her favorite pepper, and after a moment of thought, she added an extra spoonful. She then handed this sincerely prepared cup of wine to Ning Yin, saying in a warm tone, "Drink."

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