Chapter 20

Starlet walked into the house she shared with her husband and found him in his coat, car keys in hand. He looked up and his face showed fear, concern, and anger.

"Where have you been?" He immediately demanded, "I've been worried about you."

He came over to her and grasped her shoulders. Starlet immediately shrugged him off. Star thought she saw a brief look of hurt but she mentally denied it. He didn't care about her that much. She didn't have that much power over her.

"What is it?" he asked, dropping his arms.

Starlet dug into her purse, got the document Ayanda had given her and passed it to her husband. He glanced at it and looked at her.

"What's the meaning of this?" he asked.

"You're a businessman, Lucien." Star said snidely, "I'm sure you learned to read long before this stage."

Lucien glared at her but gave the document his full attention. His eyes scanned it and as the information sank into his brain, he paled. He looked up at her his manner urgent.

"Where did you find this?" he asked shaking the document at her.

"From the mother-to-be," Star said and stalked off.

Ayanda Hill was pregnant and had the blood work to show for it.

Star wanted to cry. She had always thought that she would be the mother of his children. How was she going to deal with this now?

She walked into her room and locked the door. She didn't want to deal with her husband. She was going to go to bed and deal with everything the next day. Dealing with her husband at this moment was a bad idea. She feared what she would do in her emotion-fueled state.

She changed into an oversized tee shirt and slid into bed. She'd had her husband's arms around her in bed a couple of times and now she missed him. She wondered what her future would look like. She would be the wife of a man who had a mistress. Lucien would not go for divorce because she would contest it. As per the contract they signed when they got married; if he applied for divorce and she contested, she would get a large settlement that would cripple him. She was going to be a stepmother. The man she was married to was going to have to pay child support to a child he fathered when they got married. She was going to have to face that smug woman for the rest of her life. If she had children, they would have to share their inheritance with that woman's spawn. Sure, maybe the child was innocent but the whole concept of it hurt her. She would be reminded every day and every time she saw the child, that her husband had strayed. When she had her first child, Lucien would be having his second child. Ayanda would also be "the mother of his firstborn child."

***

Star walked downstairs and she could hear Lucien talking and laughing with someone. She got to the living room; she saw Lucien playing with a little girl. He looked up at her and he smiled.

"You're up late," he said and the little girl giggled and pointed a finger at Star.

"Lazy stepmother!" her little voice said.

"Now, now," a voice said behind Star and she turned to find Ayanda gliding towards her.

"That's not nice, poppet."

"Why are you in my house?" Star asked Ayanda.

"Your house?" Ayanda laughed and turned to Lucien, "She's getting funnier by the second, isn't she?" she turned back to Starlet with a smirk, "I live here too. Have you forgotten?"

"I would never agree to that," Star said angrily.

"You wouldn't turn me and the child out in the cold, would you?" Ayanda asked.

"You wouldn't, would you?" Lucien asked 

What is going on here? Star thought to herself.

Her gaze landed on a picture on the wall and she froze. There were four people in the picture. Lucien, Ayanda, and the little girl were in the centre and Star stood to the side like an afterthought.

Of course, she was just the wife of a man who had an extramarital affair. She was flawed in a way that the world around her could see.

She turned to her husband and he was looking adoringly at Ayanda who bent over him to interact with their child. Starlet suddenly needed air. She moved to go upstairs and Ms Wade was standing with a maid looking at her pitifully.

"Poor Mrs Blade," she could practically hear them think. She was now the object of pity. She was not perfect. She was weak and unwanted.

She could hear whispers in the air, taunting her over and over.

"Weak, pitiful, flawed…"

Star suddenly opened her eyes and looked around. It had been a dream. She sobbed into her pillow. It was a dream she tried to reassure herself but that dream was quickly becoming a reality. She was flawed. Lucien was having a child and she was not the mother. She would not leave him but how would she ever go out again? How would she ever raise her head high in society ever again? What would people say about her now? It was already bad but could she take more? Now that there would be concrete evidence how would she face anyone?

She glanced at the time and noticed it was 3:25 a.m. She couldn't go back to sleep if she tried. She got up, washed up and changed into a tee shirt and leggings. She padded out the room to the kitchen where she made herself a quick sandwich. She polished it off and made another which she took to her studio. She didn't feel like painting or sculpting. She sat on the couch with her knees drawn under her chin staring at nothing and trying not to think. She was tired.

What did she ever do to deserve this? Was she a reincarnation of a villain? Why did her life have to be this miserable? She didn't know how many hours she sat there but she was startled by the sound of her husband's car hours later. He was leaving for work. Continuing with his life as if nothing had changed.

Maybe to him, nothing had. Maybe he had a lot of legitimate children out there. She laughed to herself mirthlessly. He didn't even check on her. He probably didn't care how she was dealing with this.

She wasn't dealing. She was struggling. She was drowning and she had no one to hold on to. Her mobile phone rang and she glanced at the caller ID. It was her cousin.

"Richard," she said when she put the phone to her ear.

"Star," Richard's voice was gentle and concerned, "How are you holding up?" he asked her.

"How am I supposed to be holding up?" she genuinely asked. She probably needed a support group of people like her.

"You need Charlotte," Richard muttered over the line.

"No, I don't," Star said to him, "I need a time machine."

"Are you drunk?" Richard asked her.

"No," Star answered truthfully, "I don't know what to do!" she said and burst into tears.

Richard cursed and said something that Star could not hear and hung up the call. Star limply placed the phone beside her on the couch and propped her chin on her knees.

She sat there for a long listless while and was surprised by her cousin walking into her studio. She looked up at him and her chin wobbled but she kept it in. He was here… Maybe he could help.

"What do I do, Richie?" she asked as he came to her. She folded her legs underneath her and scooted so that he could sit beside her.

Richard sat himself onto the space she made for him and he hugged her to himself. He had not wanted to be here. He hated dealing with emotional women but he loved his cousin and he would always be there for him whenever she needed him.

She was so broken so lost. This was not the Starlet that he knew. He needed to remind her that although she had legally changed her name to Starlet Blade, she was still Starlet Marks. She was better than this whimpering woman he was seeing. She was stronger than this.

"Star," he said as he firmly drew her away from him, "you cannot be like this."

Star looked at him her eyes red and her skin too pale.

"You are stronger than this," he told her firmly, "You know you have two solutions. To stay and weather this out, or to leave and start afresh."

"I can't leave," Star whined, "I won't!"

"Fine," Richard resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her persistence, "Stay. But how are you going to stay? What's your plan? You can't be weak, Star. You have to pick who you are dealing with and find a solution. It's your bed. Find a spot comfortable enough for you and decide how you lay in it."

Star sniffled at him and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"You are a Marks," Richard told her firmly, "The Marks don't lay in a corner and sniffle until the problem is over, they deal with it head-on and never show weakness."

Star hugged her cousin tightly, "I need a moment to be me," she said to him brokenly. "I am broken right now; I need to feel out my cracks before they can heal."

"Heal fast, love." Richard told her unsympathetically, "Your parents are going to find out. Not from me!" he added quickly when Starlet shot him a betrayed look.

"You have to be ready," Richard said firmly, "people are going to judge. You know it's going to get worse than it has been these last two years."

Richard got up and sat on the coffee table in front of her.

"I know you don't want to hear this," Richard said gently, "But it's okay to ask for help when your hands can't contain the leaks. Therapy won't be that bad."

Star hated the idea of being vulnerable with anyone. She was raised to be strong she had to be strong. She would be strong.

She looked at her cousin and he saw that her face was set. She was strong. She had to be. She took his hand and squeezed it gently.

"Thank you," she said gently.

"You're going to be fine, Lettie." Richard squeezed her hand gently. "You have the whole Marks army behind you. Always remember that."