127. Washed Up

Washed Up

[The episode opens with an exterior shot of the Loud House. Cut to Lincoln's room as Lincoln squirts sunblock onto his hand and applies it to his face.]

Lincoln: [To the viewers] It's Saturday morning, and for the first time in forever, every single member of the Loud family is free. [Camera pans to his calendar.] To make the most of it, Mom and Dad are taking us on a boat trip around Lake Eddy. It's gonna be awesome! [A drop of sunscreen lands on his eye.] GAH! Sunscreen in my eye!

[Meanwhile in Laney's room. The artist was excitedly packing for the trip]

Laney: This is so exciting, Squeals! We are finally going on a family boat trip! I can't wait to finally have a relaxing weekend. [Squeals oinks] Sorry you can't come, they don't allow animals on the boat. But I promise to bring you back some fish. [Squeals oinks happily] Now let's go over the checklist. [Looks through her stuff] Sunscreen, lifejackets, barf bags, easel, canvas, watercolors, photo camera, stylish fishing lures for dad. Yep, I'm all set. [She grabs her backpack and puts on her pirate hat; talks in a pirate accent] I'm off to explore the the vast oceans, Squeals. You may not see me fer three hours. I want you to man the helm while I'm gone. [Squeals salutes to Laney] That's my first mate. [She walks out the door and see everyone is getting ready for the trip]

Lola: Lana! Where's your tire inflater? [Holds up a unicorn float.] My unicorn needs puffing.

Lana: [With a can of worms.] On it! Let me just finish breakfast.

Lynn Sr.: [From downstairs] Has anyone seen my bait?

[Lana winks at her twin before munching down another worm and running off to their room.]

Lola: [disgusted] Ew.

Lynn Sr.: [Enters the hallway with a fishing pole as Lola walks away.] Your ol' Dad's gonna get some fishing in before the season's over.

Rita: [Enters with her own fishing pole.] We'll see who comes home with the better catch.

Lynn: CANNONBALL! [Charges forward but her parents stop her.]

Lynn Sr.: No cannonballs in the house, LJ.

Lynn: Relax, I'm just practicing the yell. Next step, toughening up my butt cheeks for maximum splash.

[Lynn toughens her gluteus, bouncing past her parents and down the stairs. Said parents then saw Laney carrying the heavy backpack]

Lynn Sr.: Uh, Laney? Isn't that too much stuff?

Laney: One can't be too prepared for a trip through the high seas, father. [Laney marches downstairs only for the backpack to fall on her and she fell downstairs] I'm okay! [Said parents look at each other before heading downstairs as well. Lori comes out of her room, talking to Bobby on her phone.]

Lori: Don't worry, Boo-Boo Bear, [Lincoln comes out of the bathroom.] I packed an external charger so we can stay in constant contact.

[Luan steps out of her and Luna's room with Mr. Coconuts.]

Mr. Coconuts: It's just a three hour tour, I've taken longer trips to the little dummy's room.

Luna: [To Luan] Dude, you're not bringing Mr. Coconuts, are you?

Mr. Coconuts: Nah, wood and water don't mix. I may be a dummy, but I'm not stupid.

[Luna looks annoyed as the three head downstairs. Behind them, Lincoln is holding Lily.]

Lincoln: [Applies some sunscreen onto Lily's cheeks.] Here you go, Lily. [Lily raspberries as she wipes some off and flings it right into her brother's eye.] AAAH! My other eye!

Lucy: Hi, Lincoln, pass the sunscreen. [Lincoln and Lily yelp at her appearance as the sunscreen flies out of Lincoln's hand and Lucy catches it.] Oh, only SPF 80, never mind.

Lincoln: [Gets an idea] Hey, want to help me hunt for Plessy?

Lucy: What?

Lincoln: [Shows her the article of Plessy on his phone.] The prehistoric reptile rumored to lurk at the bottom of Lake Eddy.

Lucy: [As they head downstairs] Hmm, water dragon? I am so in.

[Lana comes out of her room with her inflater laughing as she heads downstairs as well. Lisa steps out of her room.]

Lisa: Preposterous. I plan to study the lake's very real, and very fascinating micro-climate with tropical conditions [Vanzilla's horn honks.] despite-

Rita: [offscreen] You can lecture your siblings in the car, sweetie, let's go!

[Lisa looks around to find that she's alone. Realizing this, she runs down the stairs, out of the house, and into the van. Vanzilla then drives off.]

[Later, the family was at the docks]

Laney: So, where be the our seaworthy vessel be?

Lynn Sr.: Should be here soon. [Sees a boat] Oh! There it is now!

?: Ahoy there!

Laney: Aho... [Sees that Flip was on the boat] NO! No way! Trip's over! [Laney leaves but her dad stops her]

Lynn Sr.: Come on, Laney. This was the cheapest boat I could find.

Laney: That's because Flip's a cheapskate! I am not going on any boat run by him!

Lynn Sr.: [As everyone got on the boat] Come on, Laney. I know how excited you are about this trip. [Pays Flip] And besides, you're a Loud. I'm sure you can make the best of anything.

Laney: [Sighs] Okay. But ony because I always dreamed of life on the high seas.

Lynn Sr.: I thought your dream was to become a figure skater.

Laney: Yes, and it was great for last week. This week: the high seas!

Lynn Sr.: That's the spirit. And besides, what could happen? [On the boat, after their goodbyes, Leni takes a selfie, Lori is on her phone, and Luna is relaxing. Lincoln shows Lucy his map, and points to an X, Lucy looks through her binoculars. Lana is eating worms from the can, Lola is putting on her unicorn float, Rita is putting a hook on a fishing rod, and Lily is next to it reaching out. Laney was at the the tip of the boat looking at the lake] Lynn Sr.: Ah, nothing like that fresh lake air, the gentle sound of the waves...

[Suddenly, a sputtering sound occurs and the engine starts steaming.]

Leni: Sorry, that was me! I only had yogurt for breakfast!

Lana: That wasn't you, it was the engine! [Opens the engine to find it leaking and filled with stuff.] Yikes! This baby is leaking more than Lily's swim diaper!

Rita: No worries. This boat can run on Loud power! Everyone grab an oar!

Leni: [Grunts as she tries to grab an "oar" from a wall.] Why can't I pick it up?

Lola: 'Cause it's painted on! Dang it, Flip!

Laney: Don't worry! I'm sure we can find something else to paddle the boat with. [Opens some compartments, but the first one only has books and 'Meat Molars', and the other one is practically empty.] I'm gonna kill Flip...

[Lily tries to get Lynn Sr's attention; Not taking her seriously.]

Lynn Sr.: Aw, that's cute, honey, but we can't use your pacifier to pad-[Sees what Lily's pointing at and screams.] Whirlpool!

[There is indeed a whirlpool in front of them. The whole family gasps as they are dragged into the whirlpool, clinging onto the boat for their lives, as the whirpool takes them under the water.]

[Sometime later, Rita is washed up on a shore. Lily, safely on her, wakes her up.]

Rita: [Dazed at first, but quickly snaps out of it.] Is everyone okay?!

[Lily points towards the water.]

Lynn Sr.: [Offscreen] Don't worry honey! [He is in the water, and has the rest of the kids.] I got 'em.

[Everyone gets up.]

Lori: [Horrified] Gah! My phone!

[The water seems to have short circuited Lori's phone. Lynn Sr. and Rita check their phones, seeing they are the same results.]

Rita: Ours too!

Lincoln: How are we gonna call for help?

Lynn Sr.: Maybe we can borrow a phone from someone on this island.

Luna: I don't know, Pops, this place looks pretty deserted.

Leni: Oh, goody, I'm starving.

Luan: No Leni, deserted means there's no one else here.

[The island is indeed deserted, and not that big.]

Lola: [Worried] We're all alone? With no food? No water? No TV?! Aah! We're doomed!

[The other kids, excluding Laney, all think they're doomed.]

Laney: Do not worry, everyone! I can use my gear to help. [Looks around but her bag was gone] Which was back on the boat... [Looks down and finds her pirate hat and puts it on] But at least my pirate hat survived.

[The kids resumed shouting in panic]

Rita: Whoa, guys, let's not fall apart.

Lynn Sr.: Your mother's right. Look gang, I know we're in a bit of a pickle.

Rita: But that doesn't mean we're gonna give up. We're Louds, and Louds never quit.

Lynn: Mom and Dad are right, we're not a bunch of quitters.

Laney: But what can we do? I lost all of my gear in the crash!

Lynn Sr.: Come on, Laney. You've been too prepared all your life. This your chance to prove your resourcefulness!

Laney: Really, but I don't even know to survive out here!

Lynn Sr.: Remember, you are a Loud. You can make the most of anything.

Laney: Okay. I'll try.

Lynn Sr.: That's the spirit! Now let's put our heads together and think about how to get off this island.

Lisa: Well, there's always the coast guard. They make regular patrols of the lake this time of year.

Rita: Okay, we'll just build a distress signal so the coast guard spots us.

Lynn Sr.: And use our Loud family survival skills to get by until then. Woo-hoo! [Puts his hand in] Bring it in, guys. [Everyone stacks their hands] Louds never quit on three. One, two, three!

Everyone: Louds never quit!

[Later, Rita, Lana, and Laney are at a clearing.]

Lana: What say we start building our camp here? [Sweeping the sand] Looks nice and level.

Laney: Too bad I don't have my tent with me.

Rita: Come on, Laney. Be creative, there's gotta be something to help create shelter.

[Laney looks around to see what she can use to build the shelter with she soon see some palm trees and envisions the perfect camp]

Laney: Perfect! We can use those palm fronds as the roofing and the wood as the foundation!

Rita: That's the spirit! Now how are we going to chop down the trees to make the wood? Do you have anything that will do the trick?

Laney: Well, I don't really have my swiss army saw because it got washed away. If only we had something stronger...

Lynn: [Behind them] CANNONBALL! [Lynn charges and knocks down a whole tree with her gluteus.] Those butt exercises are really paying off. [Walks off] Just gotta watch out for splinters, you know?

[Rita and Lana give each other a thumbs up. Meanwhile, Lynn Sr. and Lisa are in a particular group of trees surrounded by fruits.]

Lisa: [Intrigued] Hm, fascinating, the island's microclimate has yielded an abundance of tropical fruits.

Lynn Sr.: [Picks a papaya] And all organic. Check out this papaya, it'd be like twenty bucks at the farmer's market.

Lisa: Mango.

Lynn Sr.: Honey, I think I know the difference between- [Suddenly, a mango falls on his head.] Oh, that mango.

[Meanwhile, Luna is on the shore line, pouring stuff on the ground from a huge leaf.]

Luna: Phew. Distress signal done. [Luna has made a makeshift S.O.S. signal, she looks over at her roommate; Sarcastically.] Thanks for all your help, dude.

[Luan is busy building something else.]

Luan: Sorry, but I was busy making Mr. Coconuts II.

Mr. Coconuts II: Now made from the real thing.

[Luan smiles and Luna is unamused. Nearby from them, Leni has finished her fourth hammock that she made from grass (the other three next to her) and wearing a rope belt, and Lily is teething a piece of grass while in a makeshift crate. To their right, Lynn, Laney, and Rita are building the shelter.]

Leni: There, now, I've made four hammocks, and a belt to match. How's your bed coming, Lola?

[Lola is in her makeshift princess bed, and enjoying the relaxation.]

Lola: [Sighs] Fit for a princess.

[Laney was sleeping in her handmade tent and sleeping bag]

Laney: Ahh. I never thought being in nature would be so relaxing... [Raises a handmade pirate flag. Just then she heard her stomach growl] Aye, fending for meself has made me hungry.

Rita: Well, if you like you can go pick fruit with your father.

Laney: Why pick fruit when the best food is out there! [gestures to the ocean]

Rita: But you don't even have a fishing line.

Laney: Not a problem for captain Laney! [Cut to Laney on the other side of the island preparing to fish. She fashions a fishing line out of a tree branch and a strand of her hair] Now all I need is a hook... [Looked around to find something to make into a hook. She scratched her head and then she found a hairclip on her head] Aha! [She takes off her clip and turns it into a hook] Now this is a captain's line. [She throws her line in the water and waited to catch a bite. She waited for hours but she still hasn't caught anything. She started to grow impatient] Hey you dumb fish! Why won't you bite on my hook already!? [She thought to herself then she gets an idea. She grabs a bunch of fruit then she makes her own fish bait. She rolls a chunk into a ball and puts it on the hook then she throws it in the ocean then something was caught in the line and reels and back in a ton of fish] Arr!

[Elsewhere, Lincoln, Lucy, and Lori are walking along.]

Lincoln: Okay, so survival expert Rip Hardcore says you should look for animal tracks to lead you to fresh water.

Lori: Oh, cute. So like, little bird prints or squirrel feet or- [Notices something] Ew, what kind of animal made those? [Points to a trail of footprints.]

Lincoln: [Studying them] Three claws and a carpal fin...

[Lincoln looks to see the footprints lead to a cave, meaning probably one thing for him and Lucy...]

Lincoln and Lucy: Plessy! [Both head straight for the cave.]

Lori: Who what? [Follows them]

[The three siblings enter the cave, a small lake in front of them.]

Lincoln: She's a prehistoric marine reptile! I knew she was real... [Sees that it's only a turtle with a leaf on its bum.] ...ly just a turtle with a leaf stuck to its butt.

Lori: On the upside, we found water.

[Lincoln and Lucy groan in response.]

[It is now nighttime. Lincoln is relaxing in one of Leni's hammocks, Lily is playing on some drums as in shells and starfishes, Laney was roasting a fish by the fire, Lucy is walking out of the hut, Luna is playing her makeshift guitar, and the twins are in makeshift recliners watching "TV", which is just Luan performing with Mr. Coconuts II. Lori, Leni, and Lisa are eating some parfaits Lynn Sr. made from the fruit he found earlier.]

Leni: Dad, these parfaits are amazing.

Lynn Sr.: Thanks sweetie, it's that fresh island produce. [Rubs his head] Just gotta keep an eye out for it.

Laney: [pirate accsent] Aye. They go great with all me fresh catches of the day. [Takes a bite out of the fish]

Rita: I am so proud of you kids, you didn't quit, and look at us now!

Lynn Sr.: Yep, we got a sweet camp, first-class entertainment, and plenty of chow while we wait for the coast guard.

Lynn: Whoo! Louds never quit!

Lola: [Clears her throat] Can you keep it down? We're watching TV.

[Said TV is Luan now juggling Mr. Coconuts II and two other coconuts.]

[The next morning, Lynn Sr. and Lincoln are sleeping in their hammocks outside, when a lizard starts licking Lincoln.]

Lincoln: [Still asleep, giggles] Charles, that tickles. [Wakes up and freaks out.] Ah! Not Charles! [Falls out of his hammock, he looks over and sees a bunch of animals eating the food.] Hey! That's our food! Shoo!

[The noise wakes up Lynn Sr., he screams when he sees the animals.]

Lynn Sr.: Get out of there!

[The girls come out of the hut and they all chase the animals off.]

Lincoln: I said get out of there!

[The animals escape, but there's no food left, the family is shocked.]

Leni: What are we supposed to eat now?

Lisa: I suppose we could scavenge through their droppings for edible seeds. [The family is revolted by the idea.]

Laney: Or we could go find more fruit.

[Everyone agrees with Laney]

Lori: Great, let's do that.

Rita: That's the spirit, kids, Louds never quit.

Kids: Louds never quit!

[They head off, when suddenly, the wind picks up. It blows the coconuts off the trees, takes the hut apart, and blows Lola's princess bed away.]

Lola: [Gasps] My princess bed! Come ba-! Aah! [Falls in quicksand] What is this?! It's slimy and gross, and it's ruining my gown!

Lana: [Seeing her twin in danger.] We gotta help her! Hang on, Lols!

[Everyone runs over, except Lisa.]

Lisa: Quicksand? [Walks over] Will the wonders of this microclimate never cease?

[Lana runs to Lola, but falls in the quicksand, too. The family runs up to them, Leni looks at her belt and gets an idea.]

Leni: [Turns her belt into a lasso.] Wait! I got this!

[Leni throws her lasso and secures the twins, the family pulls and rescue them.]

Lana: Awe, you gotta be more careful, Lols, I can always build you another princess bed, but I can't build myself another twin.

[Lola is touched, and the twins hug.]

Lisa: I can. [The twins look at her.] It's a simple matter of-

[Suddenly, a ship horn goes off.]

Lynn Sr.: The coast guard, we're saved!

Rita: We can talk about cloning your siblings later, sweetie, let's go.

[They race to the shore line, Lincoln gets winded, but realizes something.]

Lincoln: Is it just me? Or is the boat getting, smaller?

Leni: Oh no, what if it gets too small to fit all of us?

Luan: No Leni, he means it's sailing away. Didn't they see our distress signal?

[The waves have washed it away.]

Luna and Luan: Dang it!

Rita: Don't give up. We can still get the boat's attention!

Lynn Sr.: [Shouting loudly] COME BACK! [The family all shout for help as loud as they can for the boat to hear, but the boat is too far away. The family groans.] Okay, guys, nobody panic, another boat'll be back soon.

Lisa: Um, perhaps not.

Rita: What do you mean? You said the coast guard makes regular patrols of the lake.

Lisa: Only during fishing season, which concluded today.

[The family gasp.]

Leni: So we're stuck here, forever?

Lisa: Well, technically, a new season will begin in eight months.

Everyone Else: Eight months?!

Lynn Sr.: [Trying to stay calm.] Come on guys, it won't be so bad.

Rita: Yeah, just eight short months, with no running water, [She and her husband start tearing up.] no coffee, no toothbrushes, no toilet paper.

[She and Lynn Sr. break down.]

Lynn Sr.: Dah! It's hopeless! I give up.

[He falls to the ground crying, followed by Rita.]

Lincoln: Wait, what happened to "Louds never quit"?

Lynn Sr.: Well, son, sometimes grown-ups think they're teaching their kids an important life lesson when really, they have it all wrong.

Rita: Sometimes, the universe just has it out for you.

Lynn: [Imitates a buzzer] That's a load, we've gotten through a shipwreck, quicksand, hurricane force winds, and you wanna quit now?

Laney: She's right! You guys taught me that we can make the most of anything! Even without my gear! I say... [raises a stick as if it was a sword] We make our own ship and sail out of this forsaken island?

[The other kids agree.]

Lincoln: We can build our own boat. Rip Hardcore once made a raft out of nothing but sand and moose fur.

[The parents smile and look at each other.]

Lynn Sr.: Rita, we really have some ding-dang resilient kids.

Luan: We got it from you guys.

[The parents tear up, Lisa consoles them.]

Lisa: Uh, I would advise you to pull it together, you're increasing your risk of dehydration.

[Later on, the Louds build their makeshift boat, and is finally complete to set sail.]

Lynn: Good work, team. Now let's get off this stinking island.

[The Louds run toward the boat, but Luna realizes her father's absence.]

Luna: Where's Dad?

[She sees him running with coconuts in his hands.]

Lynn Sr.: Sorry, but I'm saving like eighty bucks here. [A coconut falls to the floor.] Dang it! Sixty.

[He gets on the boat and they set off.]

Leni: Bye, desert island.

Luan: Never sea you again.

Lincoln: Next stop, home.

[Lily is yelling and is pointing at something.]

Lynn Sr.: [Notices what Lily's pointing at.] Ahh, wave!

[A huge wave appears in front of them and they all scream. The wave takes them under water, and seemed to have made some damage to their boat, and the family resurfaces, holding on to what's left of it.]

Lincoln: What do we do now?

Laney: I'll be darned if I'm gonna let these waters take me family! [Laney starts kicking her legs rapidly]

Lincoln: Come on, guys! We can still make it to land!

All: Louds never quit! Louds never quit![Eventually, the sun sets and the family is exhausted.] Louds never quit...

Luan: [Notices something] Ooh! Hooray, it's the coast guard!

Lucy: In a dinghy?

[There is indeed someone in a dinghy approaching the Louds, and appears to be Flip.]

Flip: [Notices them] Hey! I've been looking for you bozos! Where's my boat?

Lana: [Glaring at Flip] Your crummy engine blew and it sank. We're lucky we're alive.

Flip: Oh. [Sheepishly chuckles while scratching the back of his head.] I guess I'll forget the late fee.

Laney: LATE FEE!?!? [Laney furiously grabs Flip and smears his face with her mango fish bait and tosses him into the sea] Let's see how you like being marooned, ya maroon! [Everyone else got on the boat and the drives off]

Flip: Hey wait! Come back! I'll let you off with half price! [A school of fish appeared around him looking extra hungry] Uh oh... [He is then mauled by the biting fish]

[And so the loud family was making their way back home. Lily sees something approaching them in the water, and it is actually Plessy. Lily is surprised at first, and Plessy licks Lily's face and she laughs. Plessy leaves and Lily gets Laney's attention about what she saw.]

Laney: [Misinterpreting] Don't worry about Flip, Lily. A rescue boat will come for him in about eight months.

[Lily looks off to the right, annoyed as Plessy splashes out of the water.]