Chapter 38

Cersei remembered the last war vividly. She had been untouched, safely guarded inside Casterly Rock. She felt just as isolated and useless as then. Jon had marched South with his bannermen and had left a third of his lesser forces to protect Winterfell. The Northernmen seemed to have forgotten who she was. She was Lady Stark and yet no one gave her any answers. They were all mum; there were no ravens or any worthy news from anywhere. She had sent more ravens than she could count but there were no news. Jon had succeeded; she was uncommunicated and could not reverse her situation, no matter how much she threatened the men and women around her. She couldn't leave the North, she was about to give birth to her son. She knew it was a boy; this pregnancy had been the hardest on her. She wasn't as young and the worries were too heavy on her.

She sat down with Bran for dinner. Her son tried to be the best Lord of Winterfell he could be, Cersei ran the castle as she had many years ago when her lord husband left to war at the Iron Islands. Unlike before however there was a bitter uncertainty. Her sons were off to war while her husband was imprisoned in King's Landing.

"Mother, Osha and I would like to ride around Winterfell." Bran tried unsuccessfully to persuade her again.

"No, not yet my love. Not until your father comes back." She said sweetly. Bran wasn't deterred. "He might not come back." Her son said angrily, a frown marring his features.

"Your father will come back." It had been a mantra in her head since Jon departed south. All Cersei knew was that there was no king. Renly had taken arms. There were also faint rumors of the Ironborn taking arms. Cersei had reinforced the castle and asked Greywater Watch to protect Moat Cailin. Rodrick advised her and she heeded his warnings. She grew desperate each day without any news.

"Why do you say such a thing Bran?" Cersei asked gently.

"There are whispers mother. Osha heard some of the servants speak about father's death. They say he was a traitor."

"Your father isn't dead and he is not a traitor." She said shrilly, losing her composure in front of her child.

Bran looked down, "Sweetling, finish your dinner please." She said softly, trying to not startle her son anymore.

The rest of dinner was tense. Bran kissed her goodnight and limped to his bedroom. Each day her son insisted on walking more and more. Cersei had been against it at first but then relented because the youngest Stark was happier when he tried to walk.

Lady Stark saw as Osha came closer to her boy. "Osha, stay back." She would hear these rumors from the wildling. It had to be conspiracy. It made sense and more sense. This lack of news and ravens had all of Jon's markings. In a foolish attempt to protect her, her son isolated her.

The wildling stood in front of her. "Have a seat." She commanded shortly.

The woman sat down but kept her eyes downcast. "My son tells me you have told lies." Cersei accused while sipping on some water. She would drink wine or ale but those smells repulsed her.

"They're not lies." The woman said without raising her eyes.

"Explain." She said while drinking more water.

"S nothing m'lady." Osha was reticent to look at her or say anything more.

Cersei continued. "Brandon says you have information. According to you my lord husband is dead. Is there anything else you possess knowledge of?"

The woman remained quiet. "I have accepted you into my home and given you shelter. You are close to my son. I have permitted these interactions but I won't, not anymore. I cannot place my trust in a liar."

The wildling looked up. "I am not telling lies, I heard it with my own ears. Luwin, he said it to Cassel. I was just listening."

"What did you listen? What have you heard?" She was agitated. Rodrick and Luwin avoided her gaze for weeks now. Could they know and not tell her? They could have kept quiet. Jon must have sent the raven. He orchestrated it all. She felt rage invade her body. They thought her weak; they would disguise their betrayal as concern for her wellbeing and the child in her belly.

She felt little pain in her belly but couldn't leave the room without knowing more. It was her right to know about Eddard. What else could have they hidden from her?

The wildling was eerily quiet. "I will dismiss you from Winterfell. I could send you to the Wall. My brother in law would know what to do with you." She doubted Benjen would accept her. Her brother in law demanded more men to man the wall. There had been sightings of more wildlings and white walkers. The man swore there were corpses rising from the death and attacking men and women beyond the Wall. Cersei doubted that and tried to make Benjen understand their perilous situation, the threat was in the south. He ended up recruiting twenty men and going back to the Wall.

She expected something out of Osha and was not mistaken. "All I heard was that the Lord of Winterfell was dead, beheaded by the queen."

Cersei tried to control her emotions but the pain across her belly was sharp and immediate. She breathed deeply, "What other lies have you heard?" She hissed and clutched her belly. The woman could feel the beginnings of labor.

"Luwin said. I was not supposed to hear. The little lord asked me to spy for him and I told him what I heard. I won't do it again m'lady." The wildling raised her eyebrows.

Cersei tried to stand up and could not. "Call the maester at once." The woman's mind was occupied with the information she received. Once Luwin attended to the birth she would have time to ask him about these lies. They were nothing but lies. Catelyn couldn't have killed Ned. It served no purpose. The crown would have the North and South bleed for naught. It couldn't happen. Jon would have sent ravens. The idiot woman must have misunderstood. It wouldn't be the first time servants gave wrong information.

Before she could think more maester Luwin was there with Osha and three other women who were to attend her.

The first words out of her mouth were directed at maester Luwin. "Is my husband dead?"

"My lady, now is not the best time to discuss such things, your babe will arrive soon." The man helped her up the chair and she noticed the dark red patch. She was bleeding profusely.

Luwin motioned for one of the girls to grab her other arm. "My lady, you will be attended in one of the lower rooms. We cannot risk you bleeding out."

Cersei was too worried about the news she had heard to properly comprehend the gravity of her situation. The pain was unbearable, she was in her shift and a girl tied her hair in a braided bun. "Why have you lied to me maester?" She asked as Osha wiped her sweaty brow. Cersei swatted her hand away.

"My lady, you have to calm down for your sake and the babe in your belly." The man avoided her questions, irritating her to no end.

She felt lightheaded; the pain intensified. "My lady, stay awake. Stay awake." She could hear the maids bustling around her. Osha hit her cheeks over and over. Cersei felt weaker and weaker.

"Push now. Push now my lady." Luwin said. Cersei wanted to sleep, she felt dizzy. He could hear a woman in the background, and felt someone besides her pushing on her belly.

"WAKE UP NOW AND PUSH." Cersei pushed as best as she could and then heard cries, her son was born.

She closed her eyes and could hear screams but was unable to respond.

"He should be dead." Cersei opened her eyes softly and the light in the room hurt her eyes, she closed them again.

"Brandon, enough. He is your brother." Her baby brother said. Why was Tyrion in the room? Where was Ned?"

She rasped and tried to speak but her throat was too sore. She felt weak.

"I hate him. Mother will die. Maester Luwin said so. It's his fault. He's a monster, he killed my mother." Bran cried desperately.

She opened her eyes; once again the light in the room blinded her but she needed to be awake now. Tyrion and Bran were in the far corner of the room; she could hear a baby crying. "We have to say goodbye to your mother now. Maester Luwin said it wouldn't be long now."

Bran cried. "I wished he was the one dying."

"Brandon, I said enough. It's not Rickon's fault" Tyrion didn't finish because Bran contradicted him. "I hope he dies soon. He's a monster. He ripped my mother apart." Cersei shook her head. She remembered saying those same words long ago when mother died. She remembered praying to all the gods she remembered. "Kill the monster, give me my mother back." The pain of seeing one of her children reject and speak with so much hatred about one of their siblings brought anxiety and tears to her eyes.

The baby was alive, she had given birth. "Bran, come here sweetling." She called to her child.

"Call Luwin at once." Tyrion said commandingly.

"Mamma." Bran came closer and hugged her, her boy cried. "I'll be good mamma."

Cersei kissed his forehead; her body ached. "I know, you're a very good boy and you have to promise something."

Bran nodded eagerly and kissed her cheek gently, over and over. Cersei did that to her children when they were hurt or sad.

"You have to protect your baby brother, like Jon protects Robb and you, like Tommen protects Joanna and Arya. We're all we have." She said carefully.

"I will mamma. I'm sorry, I don't really want Rickon to die." He cried and hugged her. Her baby boy was so young and yet had suffered so much.

She looked at Tyrion who stayed back by the crib. The baby kept crying, "Hand me my son Tyrion." Her brother looked startled.

"Osha should be here any moment now. She'll take care of your son…"

"I want to see my child now." She said as she caressed Bran's hair.

Tyrion turned around and grabbed the squirming baby. She smiled when she looked at his face. "He's beautiful." The baby was all brown hair, and his eyes would be grey. She could tell. He had the Starks' features, as most of her children had.

"He's so small." She said and noted that his legs were not stunted as Tyrion's had been. Rickon was just very small for a newborn.

"Did you name him?" She asked Bran.

The boy shook his head. "No, uncle Tyrion did. You've been asleep for three weeks mother. Maester Luwin said you would die soon."

The maester stepped in. "This is certainly a miracle." The man pronounced, extremely happy to see her so well despite the circumstances. The old man was genuinely happy.

"Your ladyship. I must examine you," he said. Tyrion took his leave and took Bran with him.

The maester examined her. "You were in grave danger, and I'm afraid you won't bear more children. The babe destroyed your womb."

Cersei was not worried about more children. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Almost three weeks, your body was healing well, your bleeding stopped during the second week after birth. I expected you to wake but you did not. I grew worried then. I had decided to ease your body into death yesterday but your brother insisted we wait. He arrived three nights ago."

"Is my son in good health?" She asked as she caressed the little one's cheek.

"He's small for his age and is not eating well." The maester said.

"I will feed him." She said and bared her teats.

"It is unadvisable lady Stark, your body has undergone much distress." She ignored his words. The baby latched, her milk flow was light.

"You must ease your body into your normal activities my lady." The man said and ordered light soups from the kitchens.

She felt lightheaded. The maester watched over her as she tried to feed her babe. "Is my husband dead?" Cersei's mind was returning to full function and she distinctively remembered receiving news of Ned's supposed death.

"It is best if your brother explains. My lady should wait and rest before exerting her body any further." The man left. Osha was there to feed her and take the baby from her arms. Rickon was asleep as soon as her teat ran out of milk.

"I have a recipe to increase the milk in your teats." The wildling said while carefully tucking little Rickon.

Cersei raised and eyebrow but gave her consent for her the brew the remedy. "Tyrion mentioned you took care of my son." The woman said when she was done eating the broth.

"I took care of him and the other little lord." The woman said with downcast eyes.

Cersei knew she cared about Bran and apparently she cared about Rickon too. "Help me bathe." Osha would be her trusted maid, her eyes and ears. The woman was to be trusted. Cersei could instinctively tell, after all she had been the only one to speak frankly even if she was mistaken.

She bathed and rested for a few hours. She woke up again, feeling stronger, "Osha, comb my hair and then call my brother." The woman nodded and brushed her hair lightly, a contrast to her gruff looking appearance and blunt manners.

The woman left her with Rickon on her arms. Soon enough her brother entered the chambers. "Go with Bran now." She told the wildling who left promptly.

Cersei held Rickon on her arms and rocked him to sleep. He hadn't cried, not since she fed him. The woman addressed her brother, "Come here." Tyrion arched an eyebrow and remained by the door as if waiting to make an impromptu escape.

"Now, put Rickon on his crib." Tyrion waddled and carefully grabbed the babe. "Be very careful with his head. Lay him gently." She said and saw as her baby brother placed his newest nephew safely on his crib.

The woman sat up and felt some dull pain in her abdomen. Tyrion remained in front of her.

"I need you to explain." She said simply.

Her brother did not respond. "Is my husband dead?" She asked; Tyrion wouldn't lie. He would rejoice in seeing her in pain and would not dare say any falsehoods, not concerning Eddard. They liked each other, her youngest brother and her husband.

"Eddard died, queen Catelyn executed him for treasons against the crown and regicide." Tyrion spoke slowly, clearly. He looked sad.

Cersei could not hold a few tears and felt as if someone stabbed her heart, stomach and throat at the same time. She gasped and couldn't form words.

"It can't be. Why? He's honorable. He loved Robert Baratheon. Why did Catelyn do this?" She grew more agitated by the second.

"Lord Baelish is said to be behind the accusations." Tyrion said and looked at her with sad eyes.

Cersei cried and didn't care if Tyrion mocked. She didn't care if he laughed in her face. She deserved the taunts, the pain throbbing inside of her. She should have never trusted Jaime. She should have gone south, put some sense into Ned's honorable head. Eddard was dead. She cried uncontrollably because her last letter to her husband had been filled with anger and insults. She did not get to hold him. She felt sadder than when mother died, or Joffrey died. Cersei felt as if something was breaking inside of her and she couldn't put it together.

The woman felt as Tyrion surrounded her, held her and rubbed her back. She cried more but welcomed the embrace. She cried until she felt anger. How dare Catelyn do such a despicable thing to Ned? Ned defended that bitch. Her husband had considered the queen a friend and tried to fix a broken kingdom, a broken king.

She wiped her tears furiously. "Tell me what is happening. Where are my children? What is father doing?"

Tyrion let go of her. "Robb and Jaime march south to meet with Renly Baratheon, who styles himself as king of the Seven kingdoms. Father is to secure the Riverlands and storm the Eyrie once Jaime and Robb defeat Renly or unite his forces with them to defeat Renly if it comes to that." Cersei listened carefully.

"Jon will advance to King's Landing and join forces with Stannis Baratheon. Gendry, Arya and Joanna arrived to Dragonstone safely. Stannis is defending the prince's right to the throne."

Cersei could tell he was withholding information. "Tommen, where is my son?"

"Unaccounted for." Tyrion replied. Cersei paled, "He could be alive sister. We have not heard anything of him."

There was more. "What are father's plans?"

She knew this war was the perfect opportunity for Tywin to assert his role in the Seven Kingdoms. "He plans to support the prince and marry him to Arya. He will have a man with Lannister blood sitting on the Iron Throne. He virtually has control over most of Westeros "

Cersei was puzzled, impossible. They had the West, the North and Dragon Stone only. They could have the Riverlands as soon as they advanced to King's Landing.

"How?"

"I am to be the Warden of the East. My wife is Lady Sansa of Arryn. Father insisted I take her as bride. Your son holds the Riverlands or at least its biggest army. He married Jon to a Frey girl. The women are here in fact, praying for your quick recovery." Tyrion said sarcastically.

"Jon and Robb will make them pay. They will burn Westeros and bring justice to my husband." Cersei said ardently.

"Why are you here brother?" She asked looking into his mismatched eyes.

"Father has sent me to advise Bran and hold the North for him." Tyrion said resentfully. Her little brother's place was the West. He was the rightful man to guard the West when Tywin Lannister warred away from Casterly Rock.

Cersei could tell Tyrion's bitterness and shared that feeling. She was useless, ensconced away in the North while her children were away from her. Ned was dead and Tommen could be dead as well. She wanted to hold Bran and Rickon to her. "Send for Bran, bring him here please." She said as an afterthought.

Tyrion stood by the door. "I'm sorry for your loss dear sister." He looked into her eyes. "He was the best man I knew." Cersei's eyes filled with tears. "Send for Bran please." She said and looked away, not able to hold Tyrion's pitying gaze.

Lady Stark cried bitterly until Osha and Bran arrived. She could see Summer and Lan at his heels. "Come with your mamma Bran." Her son was too old to sleep with her or cuddle with her but she needed to look into his grey eyes and touch his brown hair. He looked so much like Benjen everyone said so, but out of all her children he was the only one who had inherited Ned's eyebrows and exact eye shape. She wanted to weep at the sight of him and Rickon.

He climbed into her bed and hugged her. She kissed his forehead. "Leave now. Don't take the direwolves. Leave them here with us." She said to Osha who left without saying anything.

"Papa is dead." Bran carefully looked at her face. Cersei couldn't bring herself to voice it. She merely held Bran and hummed until he was asleep. She did not sleep and welcomed Rickon's lusty cries.

The woman gingerly stood up and picked the crying infant. She fed him and couldn't keep him away from her. Cersei came back to her bed and placed Rickon on her chest while Bran moved and hugged her side. The child was carefully tucked next to her. Lan and Summer were at the door sleeping peacefully.

She didn't sleep, she cried silently for the rest of the night. Bran could not see her broken. She would weep when no one could see her, only then would she properly mourn her husband. She had to hold Winterfell until this war was over. She would march South once Jon stormed King's Landing and watch Catelyn Baratheon and her loved ones die at the hands of the Starks. That would be her focus now, justice for Ned. She would write to Jon and ask him for that. He would comply and let her watch as the queen, Baelish and all those who wronged Ned were put to the sword.