Chapter 17

Cersei moved into action quickly. She stirred away from the bed and hurried to one of the chambers in the ground floor. Old Nan had said the maester did not dare move her husband. Ned screamed in pain as one of the handmaidens put what appeared to be a cold cloth in his forehead. Maester Luwin stripped her husband and tended to a nasty wound in Ned's upper thigh.

Ned yelled and trashed when maester Luwin dabbed a substance in the wound. Cersei came into the room. "What can I do?" She asked with a firm voice.

"Hold his head, try to sooth him and make sure he does not move." The older man said. She nodded, the handmaiden moved to make room for her. She dabbed the cloths and spoke softly when Ned trashed again, he had his eyes closed. "Ned. You can't move now." He opened his eyes, his forehead was feverish and he was sweating profusely.

"Cersei?" He rasped and tried to turn his face to look at her.

"No, don't." She said and moved strands of his hair and took more cloths to his forehead and chest.

He was calmer but still trashed. Maester Luwin worked dutifully and bandaged his wound. It looked like an arrowhead was inside of his flesh. She did not have much experience with wounds; it could have been anything.

"My lord, you should take milk of the poppy. It will alleviate your pain." The man said.

"No." Ned said tiredly. "Water, I need water. Cersei make sure he does not put anything in the water."

She nodded and gave him the water herself. "What happened?" She asked when Ned was done drinking.

"Wildlings, they ambushed me on my way back. They took my horse but I managed to run away before they killed me with my own sword. They left a green boy to kill me and I killed him first. I took Ice and walked back.

"That explains all the stress in your leg my lord." Luwin said and dressed some cuts in his arms, abrasions on his hands and the cut by his left cheek.

"You are very lucky, the arrows did not penetrate any veins. You would have bled to death. You need to rest my lord." Cersei wanted to roll her eyes. It was self evident that Ned would not be on his feet quickly.

Her husband tried to stand up. "I want to go to my quarters." He gritted his teeth pushed up. Cersei pushed him down and he growled. "Gods." He gasped and trembled.

"Take the milk." She kissed his forehead, just above his eyebrow. "No." Cersei nodded. "Very well but you will not be going anywhere with that leg in that way. We'll stay here tonight." She wiped his body with clean water and ordered the servants to leave.

"He will likely have pain tonight and the next few days. He'll be delirious and have pain for the rest of the night." She kissed his brow once more. "Leave the milk here. I'll give it to him."

"No milk. Cersei, take it away. Promise me my love, no milk." He said tiredly and grabbed her hand.

"Fine, take it away but do not go to far. He could need you." Cersei commanded. She held him through the rest of the night. He had a light fever but was coherent. He could not sleep. She held him, kissed his face and caressed his chest.

"A woman, a big woman gave me that bruise on my stomach. She swung at me first. The wildlings tried to kill me. I was sure the boy would, he could not have been older than two and ten. He had Ice; all I thought was that Jon would never swing it and the children. All I could think was that I would not see Robb start his archery practices. Tommen, I would never have any time with my boy and my girls... My beautiful Joanna and Arya. Then I thought of you Cersei. My last thought was of you." Ned kept talking while she tried to keep him calm and quiet.

"I love you Cersei Stark. I have loved you since I saw you feeding my son. I never thought I could ever love you." She tried to minimize the effects his words had on her. "Ned, please be quiet. You need to close your eyes and sleep." He would not listen.

"I married you because you were a threat. I wanted you and your kind away from the King. I thought I was condemning myself to a life of bitterness with you." Cersei had not been thrilled to marry him either.

He was rambling, "Please Ned, you have to rest."

"Cersei, I'm glad I married you." He rasped and then looked at her with big grey wolf eyes. "Lay down with me. I want to see your face." Cersei did so, afraid that he would try to move her himself. Luwin had been specific; her lord husband was to be resting and sleeping the worst of his ordeal since he did not wish to take any milk of the poppy for his pain. It did not do well for him to become agitated.

Soon she was on her side, his eyes were pained but he was very lucid. "When I killed that boy I thought of you. When I walked through the forests I thought of you and your eyes. They are the greenest eyes I have ever seen. When Harwin found me I was glad because I was coming home to you." He hissed in pain when he tried to face her completely. He was prostrated while she found a position in which he could see her face without moving him too much.

Finally she was able to see his face completely. "Cersei, you have been a blessing. I never thought I would ever come to care for you. I desired you, from the moment I laid eyes on you but I was sure I could never love you." Cersei was not surprised, she knew her husband desired her, she desired him too. That had never been an issue. They were very compatible in the bedchamber. She was taken aback by how much he was telling her. Eddard had always been reserved, to the point of being standoffish. As time passed her spoke more and they built a friendship but her husband was not one to openly speak about his feelings or thoughts about the love in their marriage. He was a man of few words, and fewer words when it came to his inner thoughts. He had his Old Gods. He prayed and visited those weirwoods so strange to her. She was not one to pray much; she knew about promises and debts.

"Not even in battles had I been so certain my end was near. I understood that I could not let the boy kill me because I never heard those three words out of your mouth." Cersei stiffened. She cared for her husband; he was a good, honest and honorable man. She enjoyed her life with him, his respect, his trust, his bed but she did not love him. She loved her children and Jaime, although it was harder to hold onto a love that was not fostered. Jaime did not write to her, and when he did it was mindless, gone were his declarations of love and she had never dared to propose anything because if she was anything it was a Lannister and Lannisters paid their debts.

"Go to sleep Ned." She assured him and caressed his forehead. He was not appeased; "I knew you loved another man when you came into my bed. You were not a maiden." He stated a little sadness crept in his voice. "It never bothered me Cersei but it does now. I am fighting with a ghost, a man I cannot live up to. You do not love me my lioness." Cersei's heart was racing. Could he know about her love for Jaime? He could not have known. Jaime and her had been careful to hide their love. They were close but it had all been excused by the mere fact that they were twins, two parts of a whole. No, if Ned knew that the man who took her maidenhead had been her brother he would have returned her or have her render explanations to him and the throne.

"Do not be afraid Cersei. I do not wish to know this man's name. All I whish to know is if you are truly happy here." He whispered close to her face. She looked at his face, he was sweating and his eyes looked tired. It would be soon; he would give in to sleep. She nodded. "You and the children make me happy." He nodded and closed his eyes. The lady of Winterfell attended him the whole night. Once he was deeply sleeping she washed his body and with the help of Hodor; Old Nan's grandson or great grandson disrobed him.

She closed her eyes and thought about her life. She was not queen, but she managed a large castle and the North. She ruled alongside with Ned who was kind, generous and most importantly did not underestimate her. She did not lie tonight, she was happy. Her children were smart, handsome and healthy. Ned provided her with strength and resources. She lacked for nothing. Cersei Stark was content.

Ned stayed in bed for a week. He could not stay long enough in bed. Cersei admonished him and tried for her husband to remain seated or off his feet. "Ned, be careful." She rushed when Robb tried to tackle his father to the bed. "Papa." He yelled and tried to wrestle with him. Ned had not seen his children during that week. Maester Luwin declared it unwise, since he was convalescing from his ordeal. "They will not like to see you in this bed my lord." The maester pleaded with his best convincing voice. The idea of his children watching him while vulnerable deterred Ned for a few days but by the third day he was persistent.

He could sit up and walked a little. Ned spoke to her about moving back to their bedchambers. "Not yet, it has not been a week even." Cersei could tell what his true intentions. Ned wanted to lay with her again. She missed the intimacy it was certain, his sickroom was humble, one of the rooms for the servants. It was uncomfortable and lacked privacy. Cersei did not think her husband was in any condition to try anything but he held her tight at night, as if she would disappear. Ever since his confession, her husband looked at her differently. She knew he loved her, he told her so when they were in private while he was inside her. It was different now; he looked at her with love every time their eyes met. He was not reserved; he seemed to enjoy looking at her in that intimate way reserved for the occasional time in bed.

"Where were you papa?" Joanna asked and hugged him tenderly. Cersei had explained and told them that papa was sick and needed to be taken care of. Jon understood everything. She did not lie to him, Jon knew about wildlings and the Night's Watch. Robb knew that father was in accident but she did not burden him with any other knowledge. Jon was solemn and carried Arya on his arms. Tommen, Robb and Joanna were in bed with their lord father. Cersei looked at them with a wistful smile. She never had that. Jaime, Tyrion and her never shared those moments with Lord Tywin Lannister.

"Come here lad." Ned said as he tickled Tommen. Robb chattered incessantly while Joanna tried to climb into his lap.

Jon looked at Cersei. She grabbed Arya who babbled and tried too reach over to her father. The heir to Winterfell timidly climbed on the small feather bed. He was not as exuberant as Robb and was the eldest. He could not be the baby boy like Tommen. He was to be strong and that was how Ned and her were educating him. Cersei took pride in her children. The dark haired child hugged his father and sat down next to Robb who told Ned all about the new horses in the stables. "Nuncle Tyrion sent me my mare Snowflake. Father, you have to let me ride her." The boy did not lisp anymore and wanted to be grown up. Jon rode his own horse now; he had been since his seventh name day.

She was going to protest but Ned handled this situation with his usual aplomb. More than once her husband had expressed his disagreement when it came to her overprotectiveness of the children. Cersei had railed and argued for two weeks about Jon riding a horse. Lord Stark was one to listen to his wife and tried to reason with her but he was implacable when it came to the children stepping up to their chores. "Do not interfere my lady. Jon will ride a horse and that is final." She cut her reminisces short when he heard the conversation her second oldest had with his father.

"It is not fair; Jon rides Storm all he wants." Robb pouted, he was six and wanted to be seven like Jon.

"Your brother is older and he never rides alone. You will wait just like Jon did, just like Tommen, Joanna and Arya will wait."

The boy sported a sour face but did not climb down the bed. "Papa, I asked you a question." Joanna pulled on his tunic.

"I apologize kitten." He kissed her forehead.

"I was sick but now I am better." He replied with a reassuring smile.

Arya wanted to go to her father. Cersei gave him the baby. "Sweetling." He smiled when Arya babbled and hugged his neck tightly.

The children had their turns to speak about all the happenings of the week. Invariably Robb and Joanna spoke the most. Maester Luwin entered the room and asked her to accompany him to see some affairs concerning some common folk and an abandoned building that belonged to them. She excused herself and followed the maester to the common hall. Cersei attended to the matter of the common folk residing in the building. They would pay with some of their harvest and have the option to reside there as long as they provided some of their crops to Eastwatch and the Night's Watch.

She settled other matters for the rest of the afternoon. She went to Ned's sickroom and found something that filled her heart with joy and longing. There in the small bed were all her children with their father. The bed could hold two adults but the Starks were all asleep in that bed.

Ned was in the middle. Joanna and Tommen were by his right, fast asleep. Robb was on the left sprawled and drooling on his father's arm. Jon was by the bottom of the bed, asleep too, a serene smile on his face. The sight that brought a radiant smile to her face was Arya and Ned. Their baby girl was on her father's chest. She rested her face on his neck while her long tangled hair was by his mouth. She heard Ned breath deeply and groan. She came close to the bed and tried to lift Arya. "No, don't, leave her here, grab Robb and put him next to Jon. "What of your injury?" Jon rested his head on his father's good leg. If she put Robb by his brother he would of course move and cause some damage to his leg.

"It is healed. Place him by Jon then you can lie with us." Ned said with a voice rough with sleep.

She was tired and it was getting darker. The lady of Winterfell moved her son who murmured but went right back to sleep. He stretched and placed his head on Jon's stomach. Cersei stepped out of her cumbersome dress and slipped next to her husband. He brought her close with his free arm and kissed her forehead. "I'm moving back to our bed tomorrow. This one is too small for all of us."