Chapter 169 - Drifting In Darkness

Alone. In a world without light, Ao Wen drifted alone through the dark. Her breath stilled, even her heartbeat felt turbid and weak. Silence. No sound disturbed the endless blackness that surrounded her. Stillness. No matter how much she tried to pick herself up, she couldn't find the strength to move her body. Over and over again she tried, if she couldn't stand then to at least sit but her body refused to obey her commands. 

For a moment, eight gleaming eyes had flashed in the darkness bringing with them a host of sensations. Tightness and restraint enveloping her. She couldn't move because she was wrapped up in countless threads of darkness, waiting to be devoured by the beast. Faint clicking sounds echoed in her head, sometimes near and sometimes distant. There was no pattern to the sound, when she thought it would be close it might be or it might be far. When it felt like it had been too long and the creature must have gone away, the sound echoed again, louder than ever before like it was right next to her ears! 

Even then, with the source of terror so close, her heart stayed still and slow. In the darkness, what point was there to being afraid? She couldn't fight, couldn't flee, couldn't escape the tight threads that bound her. Fear was pointless. Hope was pointless. In the endless dark, everything was too far away to matter. If the creature came for her, then it came. If the creature didn't, then it didn't. If the darkness devoured her, what did it matter? She said nothing, did nothing, and had no one. If the endless darkness held only her, and then even she was gone, what difference did it make to the void? 

"Mistress," a voice whispered in the darkness, faint as the sound of rustling feathers and shifting sand. "It can't be like this," the voice continued. 

Questions sprang to Ao Wen's mind one after another, only for her to dismiss them in turn. Who? Who didn't matter, whoever the voice belonged to, if they were here in this darkness with her then they were just as trapped as she was. What point was there in knowing the identity of the other person in the void if neither of them could leave. Mistress? What an odd way to address someone. Did this other person mistake her for someone else? Was it someone she should know? It didn't matter. She could be called anything, Ao Wen, Jun Biyu, Cong Daiyu, Little Yu… it didn't matter what people called her. 

No, that last bit was wrong. Teacher Xie had explained time and time again that names were important, even for simple blades that had no great history. If their names were important, her name was important. Something at least mattered, even if it was just her name. "Ao Wen," she finally managed to whisper to the darkness. "My name."

"Mistress Wen," the voice whispered back, closer to her this time. "You can't be like this."

"Like what?" Ao Wen asked. What was she like right now? She wasn't afraid, she wasn't angry, she was… alone. Empty. In the darkness, there was nothing but the endless void and within her, she felt the same aching emptiness. Even the creature that hunted her in the darkness had vanished, leaving her alone until the voice called out to her. Even then, the presence of a voice didn't change that she was alone, that she could see nothing, feel nothing, do nothing. Trapped. Bound. Alone. Waiting. Waiting for what? For the only thing she still had to stop. The slow, turbid beat of her heart was the only proof she had that she still lived. When that stopped, she'd return to the void and the darkness around her would be complete, empty, silent and still. 

Her heartbeat slowed further. Her heartbeat disturbed the perfect darkness. It didn't belong. She didn't belong. 

"This isn't you, Mistress," the voice whispered, closer than ever, as though it were right next to her left ear. "Remember? 'Even in darkness, we burn.' They can take your light but not your fire."

"What is fire without light?" Ao Wen asked. "That's as silly as fire without heat." 

"In the darkest night, in your lover's arms, does a fire burn within? Mistress, isn't fire more than just the flame in the hearth? You taught me that," the voice whispered, familiar, comforting. 

"Xi," Ao Wen breathed. In Xi's arms, was there any doubt that she carried a flame? The darkness around her became warmer. The void, less empty. In the dark night, when she woke from a nightmare, she wasn't alone. Xi's arm draped across her, held her close. Her warmth pushed back the loneliness, the fear and on her darkest nights, the guilt. Xi's warmth flowed into her, cleansing the feeling of hopelessness and apathy. "I have to get back to Xi," she said. 

"Burn, Mistress," the voice whispered. "Until nothing stands in your way."

In the dark, Ao Wen fumbled to bring out her flames. Azure, crimson, emerald, even her faint bronze flame of the Earth dragon but none of it worked. As soon as the first flash of light appeared in the darkness, the oppressive void consumed the light and her flames with it. The darkness enveloped her like a smothering blanket that allowed nothing to disturb it. 

"Fire without light," Ao Wen whispered. When she'd told Qi Yue that she was fire, she'd meant all flames. From the nurturing to the destructive, the candle to the inferno, and the passion of love to the blaze of hatred, she was all flames. Right now, she couldn't become light in the darkness but did that matter? She was fire, not light. Jin was light. She was flame. Flame that couldn't be restrained, flame that yearned to reunite with her love, flame that would destroy anything that threatened those she held dear! 

Heat poured from her, dark, flickering, consuming heat that fed off the darkness and burned away the threads that bound her there. More and more she poured her yearning to reunite with Xi and her hatred of the thing that kept her apart onto the flames like it was oil for the inferno she unleashed from within. 

"Mistress, I'm waiting for you," the voice whispered as the last of the dark threads burned away. 

Slowly, Ao Wen's eyes fluttered open to be greeted by an anxious looking Zhang Bai and an even more concerned looking Feng Xi. 

"Wen, you're back," Feng Xi said, pulling Ao Wen into a tight embrace. "Don't scare us like that ever again," she said, trembling with the fierceness of her embrace. 

Elsewhere, a woman with black and purple hair opened her eyes and smiled. "In this life, my Mistress' name is Ao Wen," she said. "We'll be together again soon."