65. Chapter 65

When the world finally settled around Castiel, he felt as though he were a piece of clothing that someone had tossed into a dryer. Having accompanied Dean to a laundromat once and watched the process of washing and drying clothing, it was the only way he could think to describe the unsettled state of his stomach. Normally banishing sigils didn’t carry quite so much impact, so that demon must’ve added something a little extra.

He pushed himself up from where he’d been laying flat on the ground and looked around. It was a good thing that angels were impervious to changes in temperature because there was snow all around him for as far as even Castiel’s eyes could see. The air was cold and damp, stinging his face, and the wind was strong. A human, Castiel realized, would’ve frozen to death in seconds.

And then he thought of Dean, who was still more human than he was angel for all that he’d been consuming grace on a regular basis, and fear flooded through him. Theoretically, Dean shouldn’t have been affected by the banishing sigil. But if there was one thing that Castiel had learned about Dean Winchester, it was that he was a constant surprise. If Dean had been banished with them, then it was possible he was here too.

“Dean?” he called out, but the word was stolen by the wind. Castiel scowled and tried to reach out to his hatchling, but the connection between them was muted at best. When he directed all of his attention towards Dean, he could feel fear and panic. His concern mounted. If Dean wasn’t here, that meant he was at the mercy of demons with only Sam, Bobby and Jody to protect him. And while Castiel was confident that the three humans would die to protect Dean, that unfortunately didn’t mean much.

He had to get back to Dean. He stood on legs that were far too wobbly for his liking, automatically pulling his flimsy jacket closer around him. Something was blocking his connection to other angels; when he reached out his grace, it was like running into a brick wall. There were angel wards around, Castiel realized. He either had to destroy the wards or move beyond them, and he had no idea where the demons would’ve placed the wards. He started to walk.

It was hard walking through snow. Harder than Castiel had expected. Several times he took a step only to sink into a drift that rose to his waist. He dug himself out each time, determined to keep going. The slow pace was agonizing. He couldn’t help dwelling on how terrified Dean had to be right now. Castiel had promised him that he would never have to go back to hell.

Because it would destroy Dean to go back there now. Dean had come a long way in terms of recuperating; his nightmares about hell weren’t nearly as frequent, and he was finally putting on weight and smiling more. He didn’t flinch at shadows or feel the need to sleep with a knife under the pillow or spit out food because it tasted like the ashes of hell fire. His soul was finally starting to heal.

But if he went… Castiel shivered. It would take seconds for the demons to destroy the progress that had taken months to nurture. One minute on the rack would shatter Dean forever, and no amount of love or care would be able to put him back together. The thought made his heart ache and he surged forward, determined to protect Dean no matter what the cost.

He kept walking.

“Cassie!”

Castiel only stopped at the faint sound of a voice on the wind. At first he thought he’d been imagining things, but when he turned his head he saw a blob in the distance. Suddenly, he remembered Gabriel. His brother had been banished by the same sigil, so it stood to reason they’d ended up in the same place. Castiel hadn’t even thought about him. Ashamed, he swung around and started making his way in that direction.

Gabriel met him halfway, face pale and with ice crusted along his eyelashes. “Where’s Dean?!” he bellowed the instant they were within hearing distance. An unexpected swell of affection for his brother warmed Castiel to the tips of his toes. Of course Gabriel’s first thought was for Dean as well.

“He’s not here,” Castiel answered, certain of that now. He wasn’t sure how long he had been walking for – it could’ve been two hours or ten hours or more. The fear and panic radiating off Dean had reached a crescendo not long after he started before tapering off. Now, all Dean had been feeling for hours was relief. He knew that meant that Dean wasn’t here, and hoped that it meant Dean was safe.

“Fucking demons,” Gabriel hissed, grabbing Castiel’s arm and reeling him in. “I’m going to smite them all if they touched him.”

“He feels relieved right now,” Castiel said. He didn’t have to voice the thought that went along with that, which was that there was no way Dean would be feeling relieved if he was in the hands of demons. “He may have had the sense to call for Balthazar or someone else.” Not that Dean knew a lot of other angels. Castiel wanted to change that, but frankly there weren’t many angels out there that he trusted.

Gabriel nodded. “Come on. I think I know where the wards end. This way.”

“How can you tell? I feel like I’ve been walking around in circles.”

“You probably have.” Gabriel grimaced as the snow picked up and pulled on Castiel’s arm. Castiel went with him. One direction was good as the other when you couldn’t see anything but snow.

They’d been walking for maybe another two or three hours before… well, it was liked they crossed an invisible line in the snow, which was pretty much exactly what happened. The voices of heaven opened up in Castiel’s head, all of them clamoring for him and Gabriel, and his bond with Dean blossomed, bringing relief, terror and longing into breathtaking clarity. Castiel stopped so suddenly that Gabriel stumbled, immediately reaching back to Dean to soothe him as much as he could.

“Gabriel!” a handful of their brothers and sisters appeared, all wearing various looks of relief. Amongst them, Castiel recognized Hannah and Samandriel.

“Where is Dean?” Gabriel demanded, not even sparing a greeting.

“He’s with Balthazar and Anael,” Samandriel said, gripping Castiel’s arm in welcome. “He called out for Balthazar when the demons surrounded him in holy fire.”

Holy fire? Had Castiel a beating heart, that would’ve stopped it. His grace trembled. His wings weren’t functioning yet, so he leaned into Samandriel. “Take me to Dean now.”

“Me too,” Gabriel said, grabbing Samandriel’s other arm. “I want to know exactly who ordered that attack,” he added to the other angels, who nodded and vanished.

Samandriel spread his wings. He wasn’t used to flying with the weight of his brethren, and so the trip lasted a fraction longer than it would’ve otherwise. Castiel chafed at every passing micro second, frantic with his need to get to Dean. He was moving before their feet had even touched the ground, racing towards the nest. Words couldn’t describe the relief that poured through him when the front door was thrown open and Dean bolted out.

“Daddy!” Dean screamed, flying down the steps.

“Dean.” Castiel caught him up in a hug, lifting Dean off the ground. He clutched his wailing baby tightly, immeasurably grateful that Dean was safe. “Thank Father. Oh, Dean.” He sank to his knees, pressing his face into Dean’s hair as Dean sobbed into his shirt. Thankfully, Samandriel had warmed and dried their clothing on the trip.

Gabriel set one hand on Castiel’s shoulder and the other on Dean’s hair. Dean sobbed harder at that, one trembling hand freeing itself from Castiel’s shirt to grab at Gabriel’s hand. His knuckles turned white with how tightly he was holding on. But Gabriel was holding on just as fiercely, his eyes damp as he swooped down to press a kiss to the top of Dean’s head.

Anael and Balthazar came down the steps more slowly. Anael smiled at them. “I’m glad that you’re both safe,” she said. “I have to get back to Charlie.”

“Thank you,” Castiel said to her, meaning it with everything that he was. He reached out to her, the first time he’d done so since she’d returned from being brainwashed, pouring his gratitude into his grace. Anael eagerly received his grace, twining around him and glowing with relief that they were all unharmed. She would, she said, bring Charlie to come check up on them in a couple of days, once they were up to receiving visitors.

Through her, Castiel saw what had happened. He saw Anael at home, playing with Charlie, only to be interrupted by Balthazar’s panicked call that Dean was in trouble. He saw Anael leaving Charlie with one of her human friends – literally not even taking the time to explain, just touching down long enough to leave Charlie and then going – and racing to Bobby’s house. He saw Balthazar and the other angels who’d answered his call, all of them furious but Balthazar incandescent with rage, smiting demons left and right.

And he saw Dean, huddled in the middle of holy fire, crying from fear. He saw Samandriel extinguishing the flames with Bobby’s garden hose, while Dean threw himself at Balthazar. He saw Balthazar cradling Dean, arms and wings wrapped tightly around the baby, protecting him from the battle while also shielding him from having to watch the demons being torn apart.

Anael stopped flooding his mind with images then, still smiling kindly. She nodded to Gabriel and left, taking Samandriel with her, and leaving the four of them alone. Balthazar crossed his arms. “Your hatchling is surprisingly resourceful,” he said mildly.

“Thank you,” Castiel said for a second time, meaning it even more than he had with Anael. Dean had called for Balthazar, which he’d known how to do only because Balthazar had spent some time with them, and Balthazar had been the one to summon the other angels. Without him, Dean would probably be dead.

And Castiel didn’t think he would be capable of handling that. Dean had always been important to him: from the first moment that Castiel had laid hand on him in hell and decreed that the Righteous Man had been saved, Dean had changed his life. But now that Dean was Castiel’s hatchling, he was everything. Dean’s death would tear a hole in Castiel’s grace, in his life, that could never be replaced.

He tried to pour that sentiment into the grace he reached out to Balthazar with; beside him, he was aware that Gabriel was doing the same. Balthazar let out a quiet gasp, eyes widening as their grace flooded into him. It was something that didn’t happen to him very often, Castiel suspected. Balthazar was largely removed from heaven, preferring to spend time doing his own thing than with any of his brethren. His grace welcomed the contact, practically purring.

“Daddy,” Dean sobbed again, and Castiel regrettably withdrew his grace to turn his attention to Dean. He shushed the baby, climbing to his feet and lifting Dean with him. The baby whimpered and clung to him even more desperately, locking his legs around Castiel’s waist like he thought Castiel might put him down.

“Shh, little one. I’m right here. Uncle Gabe and I aren’t going anywhere,” Castiel cooed. He started to walk towards the nest. Gabriel had no choice but to follow, seeing as how Dean was still holding onto his hand and didn’t seem like he was going to let go anytime soon.

Balthazar accompanied them into the house, still speechless from the grace. Clearly, he, Anael and Dean had been set up on the couch: Sparks, Dean’s bee, and his fox were both there, though the toys had been tossed aside when Dean realized they were there. Castiel also noticed a blanket from his own bed, as well as several Enochian picture books he didn’t remember buying for Dean. It occurred to him that Balthazar must’ve bought them, probably because Dean had sulked so much over them that day.

Castiel sank down onto the couch, holding Dean on his lap. Gabriel sat down too, scooping Sparks up and letting Castiel lean into him so that Dean was partially between them. Balthazar, after Castiel nodded to him, sat on Castiel’s free side and picked up the two toys, holding them so that they were within easy reach of Dean. Castiel smiled at him, too full of emotion to do much more than that, and focused on stroking and comforting his baby.