Chapter 10.

I shivered and moved my wristwatch closer to the lantern. One hour left before Transfiguration class.

This time I couldn't wait any longer. I snapped the heavy volume shut and stood up. I had been reading for so long the bridge had now turned an almost full circle. Or so I guessed, not like it was actually possible to be sure in the pitch-black lower section. Not only it was dark, but there was a creeping, bone-chilling fog hanging around, making it even harder to see beyond ten inch in front of you. I swear, there has to be a Dementor chained down here. I thought, sneezing one more time.

I peered at the book I had settled on, almost certain that it contained the help I needed. One thing is certain, I can't not take it. The Volume of The Red Manticores wasn't such an old book, it dated from the seventeenth century and was the final recollection of all the achievements of The Red Manticores, written by the last of its members and partially translated from Russian to English by an unknown person who had crudely stuffed the translated sheets in between the pages. It contained many rituals, many explanations of the why and the how. Only the how interested me, though.

From what I had already read when I skimmed the thick tome for a few dozen minutes, The Red Manticores were a very secret group of Necromancers that had all sort of experiments going on during the seventeenth century.

Having less than ten members, the group had stayed secret for decades, revolutionizing Necromancy and preparing their plans in the shadows, meeting in remote forests and caves.

Because they had plans. While being a group of skillful Necromancers interested in sharing their knowledge to push the limits of the dark arts, they also had a political purpose. They became momentarily famous when they tried to overthrow the Russian magical government with a single squad of undead mages. The Necromancy was so well done that the undead successfully infiltrated the Tzar's army and attacked it from the inside. The plot was countered by sheer luck, as the Tzar was in his bath instead of his bed, changing his usual schedule for the first time in years, on a whim. The undead squad was wiped out after a few hours of violent battle, and the Necromancers were hunted and executed. Only one survived and compiled the very book I was holding.

What had really caught my eyes was the mention of Yevgeny Melor in the introduction, the strategist of their group. He apparently had re-created his own body to the perfection and sealed a part of his own soul inside it, cleaving it in two. I had already seen mentions of such an act in my soul magic book, the act of tearing your soul in two to store a piece in a safe place to survive if your first part got destroyed. This guy had created a twin of himself and worked with it on the various strategies they put up. The same brain working with itself on a problem, how odd that must be.

I climbed the stairs back up, wondering just how much that book would be worth. It was unique and contained really interesting data, but it had been stored in the lower section, where few people ever wander, and it wasn't nearly fully translated. Hell, all the technical details are raw and untranslated.

I finally emerged out of the fog and felt the warm light of the chandelier against my skin again. Ten levels of bridges and stairs later, I was finally back at the counter. The old man from before was waiting here this time, reading a strange book.

"Hello again, I found what I was looking for." I dropped the heavy volume on the counter. "How much?"

He closed his paperback muggle novel and placed it aside. He chuckled at my intrigued look.

"Muggles are quite good at literature." he explained before looking at the volume in front of him critically. "Never saw this one, I'll check the list."

I checked my watch impatiently, forty minutes left. It's starting to get real close. The bookseller looked at the list for a few moment, twiddling his wand near the ward stone to find it on the parchment linked to the stone.

"Ah! Here we are, The Volume of The Red Manticores, unique and absolutely forbidden in every country as it contains very dark and exceptional magic. Six hundred thousand galleons." he smiled.

Jesus fuck!

"Six hundred thousand galleons?" I snorted openly. "Are you god damn serious?"

I couldn't take it by force, I couldn't use magic. I couldn't even force it in my arms to break the old man's head. All he had to if I tried anything was to snap his fingers and I'd get thrown out.

"If you don't have the money, you don't get the book. Now if you really need this book, we could make an arrangement." he grinned widely.

"Do tell." It made me sick. There was no way he would give me something that expensive for a mundane favor.

"I am a book trader, young man, I store books, I sell books, and I also buy books. I can give you a list of wanted books, if you can put your hands on one, I'd be glad to trade with you." he explained calmly. Something suddenly popped in my mind. One of the one thousand most precious magical tomes in the world... The diary!

I grinned wider than him.

"How about the Diary of Hellard the Tempestuous?" I asked slyly. "One of the one thousand most precious tomes, a tool like no other that teaches anyone who reads it the art of mind magic." I claimed loudly, selling the virtues of the book like I would expect a merchant to.

His eyes opened gradually, a look of comprehension gaining control over his facade.

"The Zabini break-in." he muttered in his beard, his eyes still wide open and finally nodded. "I'll take it. The Diary for the Book of the Manticore or whatever it is."

I chortled, the Diary was probably worth a lot more according to his list, but I was in no position to refuse.

"Agreed, keep that one warm for me and I'll come back in a few day with the Diary."

"Very well."

We wished each other a good day and I walked out of the ancient bookshop only to squint as the morning light burned my eyes. I had a thought for the French Aurors I had left tied and stunned in between two houses, wondering quickly if they spent all the night outside. I won't take the risk to check, though. I'm already as late as I can afford. I grabbed the round-trip portkey and dove back in Hogsmeade.

I rushed my strides, allowing a bit of magic to help my muscles and reached the secret passage, already swallowing the counter-pill to the aging potion and undressing myself, tearing the disillusionment charm apart.

I was already late for the first lesson of the day, but I maybe I could manage to not be too late. I ran through the passage, faster and swifter with my enhanced body than a broom. I had a new broom, offered by a good part of the Hufflepuff house, a Nimbus Stallion. It was a really nice broom, even if it wouldn't hold long against the new Nimbus 2000, but I didn't trust myself enough to not push it out of its limits and crash in a stalactite.

My satchel bounced brutally on my back as I ran madly into the dark cave, leaping over obstacles and pushing myself forward with the hand that wasn't casting a constant Lumos. I was a mad monkey racing in the dark.

Thankfully, I knew the passage better than my pocket and I was quickly on the other side, hardly exhausted. My magic muscle had experienced a growth spurt recently, leaving me with more endurance than ever. The fact that I was exercising it since eleven added up to it, and in the end, I was easily adult-level powerful. My looks had changed too, probably because of all the rituals and premature use of aging potion, I was looking more than fourteen, even more than sixteen actually. I was taller than Zach, as tall as James. I wasn't scared of being questioned about it in Hogwarts, it was not too unusual at this age.

I was now striding in the corridors of Hogwarts, allowing myself to jump down entire stairways since everybody was in class. Only the paintings were here to look at me with huge round eyes and gap at my prowess as my agile feet absorbed the shock from a double stairway jump, making a loud sound that echoed in the whole wing.

I stopped myself and switched back into my "human" mode, trotting swiftly to the Transfiguration class. I peered at my watch. Twenty minutes late. McGonagall won't like it.

I winced as I pushed the door, which had chosen to creak loudly to announce my presence.

The class was of course silent. Everybody stared at me as I cleared my throat and smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry I'm late, professor McGonagall, shall I attend your lesson, please?" I spoke with my eyes down like a nice schoolboy. I wouldn't care much if she refused and sent me away, but I had to stay polite.

She frowned, obviously irritated. Come on, I'm not late that often, am I?

"You will attend my lesson and you will get a detention, Mr. Potter. Yes, Mr. Potter, I am aware the year is almost over but you leave me no choice. Now take a seat and be silent, we were taking notes of the Principal Rules of a Conjured Liquid." She said, turning to the class to continue her lesson.

I sighed and made my way to Loren. Smith shot me a glance and greeted me with a nod. What's that Smith? Not angry after me anymore? I chuckled. Silly me, I forgot you forgot.

I had obliviated every each one of my fellow third years Hufflepuff a few nights before. It was easy, just tap on their shoulder, wait for them to wake up and boom - Midnight Obliviation right in the face. The best kind of obliviation, as the dreams later that night totally cover up the traces I might have left. Not that I would let any traces.

I sat down on the bench beside Loren. She eyed me suspiciously.

"Where the hell were you this time, Harry? In the forest again?" she whispered as I brushed her lips for a discreet morning kiss.

"Well... yeah." It had been a long time since I disappeared for a night and came back late, usually I managed to be here for the first lesson and even Loren had no idea, only noticing how tired I was between two pepper-up potions.

"Like that night? Why did you go in there?" she inquired furiously.

"Listen, I do what I want, okay? If you have a problem with it, speak it." I answered strongly with a furious glare of my own. I knew how to push her buttons.

She exhaled deeply, her face softening.

"I... I don't want to be that kind of girlfriend, Harry. But I'm scared and I really really wonder why you do all the stuff you do. Disappearing to read books on your own, spending the whole night in the frigging Forbidden Forest, of all places!" she hissed in a whisper, still close to me so nobody could hear it.

"And a lot of people wonder why you do half the stuff you do, Loren. If it wasn't for that Lovegood girl in second year you'd be labeled nutcase of the castle." Seriously, I got a point. "Remember when you enchanted the common room's armchairs to take a hike in the park so we could ride them?" I smiled. That had been a grand night. "Just trust me and let me be. I don't want to lose you over something stupid like that."

She softened even more and smiled weakly, her lips brushing mine once again.

"Just promise me you're careful, whatever you're doing in there, okay?" she muttered against me, her hot breath warming my lips.

"Promise." I finally kissed her, refraining my fervor. We were in a Transfiguration lesson, after all.

"Seriously, can't you two stop for ten seconds?" moaned irritably Louise from behind us.

"Do you see Bruke and Montgomery snogging every damn minute? No. And is Elissa constantly groping Sean? I don't think so. Get some decency, for Merlin's sake."

"Excuse me for dating an amazing kisser, Louise. You can't fathom how hard it is to stay decent." quipped Loren before letting me go. Louise was still trying to win me over, and Loren loved to remind her who exactly was with me.

"Don't think you're better than anyone because you found someone blind enough to date you, Nerys." Oh dear, surnames.

"When Harry will grow some hormones, he won't look at you twice." she winked and flashed me a bright smile. She was shaping up to be one hell of a witch, her chest was already twice as developed as anyone else's and she had those plump lips and nice little freckles on the cheeks that would give her a look of innocence even after she'll be fully grown up. Add to that a thin but curvy body, a delicious belly button on her smooth pink skin that she had proudly rubbed over my face the other day in the common house, perfectly shaped legs and arms and amazingly deep blue eyes. Yes, she was slowly becoming the hottest witch in the castle.

Too bad she has a shit personality. Or maybe she was just annoying to me, because everybody else loved her.

"Don't expect me to drop Loren for your cleavage, Louise." I cut the oncoming dispute short as McGonagall was watching us.

"Now both of you shut the hell up or you'll follow me in detention." I muttered and started writing down the rules of liquid conjuration on Loren's parchment, not having bothered to get my stuff out.

The lesson went on slowly, I learned things about conjuration and had difficulties performing it. My new wand was really good for dark magic, it loved it. I could feel it scream victory everytime I cast something dark with it, I could sense it shiver with me as pleasure flooded us. But for anything else, I found it somewhat reluctant. It did what I wanted, but nothing more. It was like it accepted that I used it but didn't want to help me. I wasn't sure if it was really the case or if I was extrapolating, but the result was a mediocre spell casting in class.

I ended up conjuring the pool of water just after Louise did. Oh yes, Louise was also one of the best at practical magic.

Loren was really terrible at conjuring and gave up, smiling weakly when I tried to cheer her up by reminding her how she had crushed Louise in Defense the other day. She wasn't bad at magic in general, just very average.

We attended Herbology after Transfiguration and finally went to eat. I had downed two homemade pepper-up potions in the morning and was very hungry.

As we sat down and started diving in the exquisite food, people around us started to talk excitedly and to move around like kids the Christmas evening. Students were talking to each other and gaping at the news.

"What's going on?" I asked to Priscillia as she grazed past me, grabbing her by the arm.

"Oh, Harry! You don't know?" She forgot to smile. She always smiled for me, I suspected she liked me from all the glances and smiles I caught from her during the few Quidditch practices I participated to. But not this time.

"Obviously not."

"Well, how to say that..." she started, hesitating. "Well... we don't really know for sure yet, but there's a rumor that Zachary Potter was attacked by Pettigrew yesterday night." she said flatly.

What?

"They say he attacked him in the park and Zachary killed him." she added, amazed at her own words. "I don't know where it comes from, but everyone's talking about it!"

"Oy! Priss! What did they say?" yelled some guy down the table. She acknowledged him with a wave of her hand and looked back at me.

"You should see Dumbledore, he would let you know for sure." she muttered softly, thinking I was terrified. And I was. Zach killing Pettigrew? No way. Pettigrew, the guy who fought James and killed a dozen muggles in the process? No fucking way. I had studied the excavation curses after reading about it in the newspaper. Apparently Pettigrew overpowered one to kill more than ten persons in a single shot; I had found out these kinds of spells were too big and strong to be cast alone by any normal wizards without special precautions. I had tried it and confirmed that. Pettigrew had to be really powerful to pull it off.

And Zach dueled him?

And won?

I looked back up at Priscillia and nodded.

"Yeah, I'll do that, thank you."

She smiled at me for a few seconds and ran to the guy who had called her to spread the rumor some more.

I explained quickly to my group of third years what was going on and headed for the headmaster's office, realizing that I had never directly talked to the crazy old man. I was at his door after almost losing myself on the way, thankfully helped by paintings. Years in this castle and I still can't find my way...

I knocked on the door between the two fake gargoyles and waited.

Ten minutes later, I conjured myself a neat armchair and placed it against the wall before sitting inside. If I'm going to wait, I'll be sitting down. I'm a Potter, for goodness' sake! I smirked at my try at pureblood nobility impersonation and waited for another ten minutes.

The door eventually opened, showing me a twisted staircase. Nobody was inside, I guessed it was for me. I climbed the stairs and opened the mahogany door at the top. Behind it was the strangest room I had seen in Hogwarts so far. Not especially large but very welcoming, the office was made of a rich brown wood and grey stone, giving it a "Hogwarts" look while being noticeably more comfortable than any Hogwarts room. The desk on the end was a massive wood piece, covered with tiny items I couldn't guess the use of, and behind it were a bunch of paintings. Something attracted my eyes more than anything else; next to the desk was a fiery coloured bird, standing proudly on its perch. I didn't need to scan my mind to understand what it was. Dumbledore's pet phoenix.

I didn't wander too long on the details, the room was quite busy. Zach was sitting in a chair, and standing up beside him were two wizards I never saw. In front of them all, behind the desk, was sat Dumbledore. Who stood up and looked at me.

"It would seem that the last member of our happy crew has arrived." he joked with a smile. The man was obviously insane.

"Yeah, well... I heard things so I wanted to check it out." I explained lamely and shrugged.

"A wise decision." stated Dumbledore, letting silence fill the room. He didn't look like he wanted to say anything more. I shrugged again. Oh well.

"So, you killed Pettigrew?" I asked nonchalantly to Zach, who was staring at me like the others.

He jumped back, seemingly appalled at the very idea.

"Merlin no!" he squeaked. "He attacked me and I neutralized him, I'm not a murderer!" he spat defensively.

"Right, I forgot about that." I started before I could stop myself. "Killing your sister doesn't count as murder, it's an accident."

Zach whitened, his face stiffening, and stayed silent.

"Now, now, let us not remember hard memories in a time of joy and happiness." claimed Dumbledore, standing up. His eyes twinkled as he surveyed every person in the office. Joy and happiness... I can't believe this guy.

"Zachary, we have taken enough of your time for today, you may go." he smiled and turned to the wizards I didn't know.

"Minister, Auror Shacklebot, do you have any other questions?" they looked at each other and grumbled negatively.

"Splendid! Harry, would you stay for a moment?" He clapped his hands, and turned to me, still smiling widely.

"Sure." Am I even allowed to say no?

The group left the room, the Minister of Magic looked at me weirdly as they walked to the door. Once said door was shut closed, the headmaster sat back and beckoned me to do so.

"Lemon drop?" he stretched his hand to offer me a candy from a basket. I eyed the thing suspiciously and grabbed one.

"Never heard of that. Is it some kind of old people's candy?" I commented casually as I tasted the sticky yellow stone. It was good, I had to admit.

Dumbledore chuckled and looked above me pensively.

"Perhaps it is, Harry, perhaps it is. I confess I have never given much thought to the matter." he made a pause, and suddenly recollected his thoughts, directing his gaze at me again.

"Anyway, Harry, I didn't keep you for that. I suppose you have a lot of questions on your mind, and I know James is under the Auror's vow to not divulge information on the investigations to anyone." He smiled, again. "And I think it is time for you to be informed."

I nodded, I really didn't care much about the story itself, but I wanted to know one thing.

"How in hell did Zach manage to beat Pettigrew?"

"Ahhh, the details of this duel you should ask to your brother directly, Harry. It is a tale I wouldn't dare to steal from him." he smiled again this grandfatherly smile he was so good at displaying.

Well I don't care about anything else.

My thoughts must have transpired on my face, as he frowned very faintly.

"Do you know why Peter Pettigrew was after your brother, Harry?" he asked to me like I was a tad too dense to formulate the queries myself.

"He wanted to avenge his lord, no doubts. The man's fairly powerful, though, I really wonder how did Zach survive the encounter." I tried again, maybe the aged man was old enough to be manipulated that easily.

"Avenging his master, indeed, Harry. Do you fully understand why he needed to?" I guess he isn't old enough.

"That's what crazy worshippers do when their idol gets killed, there isn't that much to talk about." I answered, hoping he would let me go soon. I really didn't care.

"Ahhh, we're getting close to it, Harry. The death of Voldemort." I raised an eyebrow, he had said the name. I wasn't especially scared of the name, but I rarely heard anyone else than James speak it.

"Tell me, Harry, would you follow your brother and fight beside him if he was to fight Pettigrew again?" this time his voice was serious, mirthless.

Is that a trick question? Of course I wouldn't, Pettigrew is too dangerous and I have no reason to give my life for my brother. But the good answer is yes, isn't it. I wasn't quite sure were the conversation was going, but I wanted it to end.

"With all the love I bear for my brother, sir..." Ugh, how can I even say that out loud? "I wouldn't fight beside him, Pettigrew is too dangerous." I concluded.

The headmaster straightened his back and looked at me distantly. He kept smiling, but he was distinctly colder.

"And I cherish my life more than his." I added, just in case he didn't get it right. I wasn't about to discuss half an hour on that.

"Do you blame your brother for the loss of your sister, Harry?" he asked softly. My blood rushed in my head suddenly, boiling hot and pumping fury in my brain. I breathed calmly, not letting the anger control my words.

"I'm aware it wasn't really his fault, sir." I let out, not bothering to lie since I had openly snapped at Zach in this very same room just before. Just as I finished speaking, I felt a blur in my mind. I felt a warmness, a stranger heat wash over my Ice Citadel, something that didn't belong in the cold of space. He was trying to get a look in my mind. I looked away just before his probe got impaled on some spikes and revealed my not-very-subtle Occlumency.

He raised his eyebrows very faintly, almost indistinguishably.

"Sir, I have a bad headache, I think I should go lay down." Having a headache was a good sign of natural Occlumency and would help making it look like I was just very sensible to it and not an Occlumens.

"Very well Harry, if you wish to continue this discussion, I'd recommend you have a heart to heart one with your brother before." He smiled and opened the door with a wave of his hand.

Not trusting me with Zach's secrets until I clearly side with him, heh? He's not as insane as I thought.

"Good afternoon, Headmaster." I left the office hastily. I wasn't comfortable around a guy who tried to read my mind.

I headed back to the great hall, I still had about an hour to burn. Zach is getting trained by James since how much time now? I don't even remember. He must be quite good. And he's suspicious of me. I swore out loud in the corridor, angry. I can't let him become a threat.

I took a pepper-up phial from my bag and downed it. Alright, I still an hour to "burn", right? Let's burn it, Potter style. I grinned, turning the corner and running to the first exit. The pepper-up awoke my body as I ran across the green grass along the lake, to the Forbidden Forest.

I was afraid of Zach, he was becoming strong and I knew he wasn't as dumb as he looked. Many times when we had spoken, I felt his suspicions about me, he knew I was unclear and hiding things, he just didn't know which and to what extent.

Since the very first year in Hogwarts, his friends and him had become famous for unraveling the mysteries of Hogwarts, each year something new.

First, Quirrel trying to steal the Philosopher's Stone, not many people actually knew the true story but I did, and it had been a rather dangerous one. And he had gone through it. He had gone through the trials set in place by the professors themselves and outplayed Voldemort's returning body, along with Quirrel himself.

After that, he had found the Chamber of Secrets, which hadn't been found in fifty years, and slew a motherfucking basilisk with nothing else than a sword.

And now what? He gets attacked by a very powerful Death Eater and win the battle? Hero of the year, all years.

What if I become his next adventure?

Zachary Potter, episode four: The Evil Twin.

What if he unravel the next big mystery: what the fuck is Harry doing?

It was perhaps crazy to think this way, but I couldn't help it. He was dangerous, his friend Hermione was the smartest witch in Hogwarts since decades, I didn't know what Ron could possibly be good at but I figured there was probably something. Maybe he's the muscle.

Whatever, if Zach ends up pointing his wand at me, I'll win. That was definitive.

I pushed a branch aside and stopped running. I was in a clearing a few miles into the Forest. I could run miles in a few minutes. I recognize this place...

It was where I had first started my dark magic try-outs. I looked on my right and found what I was looking for.

An half skeleton remained on the ground, the huge ribcage pointing to the sky. My first kill. I took a few moments to remember the giant boar and how I had killed it. I wasn't so bad for a first year... I would blast it to pieces with my first spell, now, but still.

I glanced at the time. I still had about a full hour.

I inhaled deeply.

What I was about to do was something I had planned to try much later, I didn't think I could manage it just yet. But it didn't matter anymore, I needed to master it as soon as possible. I'm better than him. I must be.

I gathered my hatred, I molded it, stretched it and increased it, making it macerate in a bubble of dark intent behind my closed eyes, and when I felt it ready to explode, I raised my wand.

"Exsiliunt et metet. Adolebit et devorabit. Ego mutuum..." I muttered in an ominous crescendo, feeling the incredible power build up with each syllable, my whole body was boiling, my magic was in turmoil, "...FIENDFYRE!" I bellowed, jerking my eyes open and jabbing my wand madly.

A deafening roar echoed in the sky as orange fire leaped from my body, sprouting from my very skin in the direction I was pointing to. The blistering wave took the form of a giant demonic wolf-dog sort of monster and growled a thunderous roar again, trees caught on fire from the sheer heat of the roar as the fire got separated from my body and the beast took a few steps forward.

I was squinting at the living inferno before me, my retina burning from the intensity of the orange flames. It was gigantic, barely smaller than the centuries old trees that were now burning.

Its eyes were staring at me, two holes of the blackest obsidian contrasting with the blazing hell around them, two holes that seemed to suck my soul as they were peering at me.

It was awaiting a command, but it was also trying to command me. I heard it in my heart, in my soul and in my magic.

'Release me.' I almost dropped my control over it, grabbing the invisible leash with all my will, ignoring my own mind and magic that were battling against me. I wanted to release it so hard. The power of the voice washed over me like dragon fire over an ice cube.

'Set me free.' I couldn't resist anymore, as the beast took a step toward me, scorching the ground with its solid blazing claws sinking in the soft earth. But I knew better than letting it go wild.

"Furor est complevit." I muttered weakly, my wand pointed at it. I had fallen on my knees without noticing it. I pushed all my might inside that incantation and collapsed face first in the dirt while the gigantic demon got blown away by the wind, the hazardous fire vanishing in the wind left nothing behind except a lingering feeling of maliciousness, I could almost feel its eyes still looking at me for a few seconds.

The trees around me were still on fire, but I was safe. I panted madly, more exhausted than ever. My whole body was drained of energy. I used my last forces to roll on my back and take two pepper-up phials from my satchel.

I must had been sweating heavily, my clothes were soaked and my hair was dripping. I was thirsty, very thirsty. Hungry too. And tired, so tired.

I emptied the two phials and stayed on my back for a while, waiting for the pepper-up to act. The fiendfyre hadn't felt good like regular dark curses. It wasn't really a dark curse, it was just insanely powerful and dangerous.

Also, there isn't much reasons to cast it other than destroying and killing everything in the area, so yeah. I guess I can see why they call it dark.

I was still miles from controlling it, of that I was now sure. It felt impossible, the authority in its disincarnate voice was simply too great to be denied, and once I'd give up, there would be nothing left of me. But I'm a Potter, right?

I chuckled. I was getting better, I sat up and looked at the time. Forty minutes left, I feel like I cast a hundred advanced spells and ran around the forest ten times.

I cleaned and dried my clothes and hair with a few spells and walked back to the castle, the exhaustion still too great to run.

In retrospect, I found myself stupid for this little stunt. I had clearly lost it for a few minutes, wanting absolutely to prove myself I was better than my brother. I wondered if I was actually going mad somehow, it wasn't the first time I had rushed my decisions stupidly, like a train that didn't see the numerous available tracks and took the one that led into a wall. This Pettigrew rampage in Knockturn Alley, for instance. How fucking retarded it was to openly attack and kill them... It could have gone wrong in so many ways, and I had so many smarter options...

I decided to try to control myself better in the future and entered the castle.

I wrote the last sentence on my notebook and took some time to think about it. It made sense, in a way. Two human sacrifices, a man and a woman. Recreating something the same way it had been created. Almost the same way.

I had been reading the Volume of The Red Manticore for two weeks now, and had almost decrypted the ultimate body fabrication ritual from Yevgeny's notes and the various details given in the book. It contained an incredible number of facts and experiment results, but only one really interested me. How to re-create a flawless body that would be able to host a soul for at least as long as a normal body.

My Necromancer skills had increased greatly since the acquisition of the book two weeks prior, it even helped me finding out a few pieces of the ritual to open the Portal of Horus. The work I was doing with Gregory was advancing quite fast, after discussing it shortly with Zephyros, we now had the bases of the ritual pinned down. We had the geometrics, the incantation and the ingredients. All that was left were the runes and the potions to feed the sacrificed virgin.

I was confident, a lot of runes were scribbled on the half burnt parchment I had gotten from Jagdish.

I had tried a small ritual on a dead rabbit in the forest a few miles away from home and successfully resurrected it. However, like most Necromancy products, it was soulless and moved only thanks to magic.

I exhaled and stretched my arms back. I was almost here. This ritual will work. It was a bit difficult to comprehend what Yevgeny meant in his notes, even more when it was written in Cyrillic alphabet and most of it scribbled so badly i had to guess the words, but I was slowly assimilating the knowledge. Thankfully, I was kind of gifted in this field. That's what Zephyros and Gregory had agreed on during our three way meetings.

I closed the forbidden tome and slipped it in my satchel, exchanging it for another I had gotten when I went back to the Cercle Vicieux.

"Control magic that must be controlled." I muttered, reading the title dreamingly. It contained all the tricks and tips on how to master very strong spells like the Demonic Torrent, the Lightning Spear and others.

Of course, I hadn't given up on Fiendfyre, it was the ultimate destruction spell after all. If I managed that, I knew I would have much less trouble with anything else. Not that you'd need anything else when you can summon Fiendfyre...

I had also asked Hellard about Elemental Magic before giving him away, since he was a master in the field, but he couldn't help me much in so little time. All he said was that he would bet that I have an affinity with electricity and should look that way. Weird, I would have said Ice.

But elemental magic wasn't in my schedule, it was one of the hardest branch of magic to learn and wasn't worth it my time and efforts.

I started reading the book avidly, eager to try Fiendfyre a third time. The second time went like the first, I had collapsed, banished the fire before it took over me and almost failed.

After a lengthy introduction, I flipped the pages to the Fiendfyre chapter. A picture showed a wizard ordering around a small dragon made of fire around him. It looked really silly compared to the imposing creature of blazing inferno that had almost reduced me to ashes a few days ago.

Controlling the Fiendfyre is one of the most difficult exercise a wizard will encounter. Fiendfyre has an actual personality, as opposed to most of other magic exposed in this book. It's personality is directly linked to the caster's magic, it is a real being that usually has only one wish: destroy. The Fiendfyre will destroy anything it possibly can, if the caster doesn't control it.

The power of the Fiendfyre is not easily dealt with, the beast will command the caster and order him to unleash it. Of course, it is the last thing to do. Do not, under any circumstances, give up. If the caster gives up, the Fiendfyre will destroy everything, the caster included.

How to resist the strength of the fiend's commands? It comes with training, one will have to make it known to the fiery part of their magic that they control it and that it has to obey them. One will have to confront the burning monster and make it bow before them.

When the Fiendfyre accepts the caster as its master, it becomes easier to manipulate, but still wishes to get freedom. Do never lower your guard, even after years of cohabitation with your flaming beast.

The personality of the Fiendfyre should remain the same everytime one cast it, but some wizards have a multi-facet magic power and summon different beasts. To control each one of the facets, those wizards will have to gain the obedience of each fiend.

How to make your beast accept you as its master? There are a lot of different ways to tackle this step:

I was drowning in the book, a full page of explanations on how to control my internal inferno followed the small introduction, along with pictures and theories on why it was this way. I grinned widely as I read that mastering mind magic and especially Occlumency or Meditation were highly helpful.

My brain was fervently absorbing each line of text, saving it and understanding it as I read the next. I was eager to try again. While not overly pleasant like dark magic, casting Fiendfyre was somewhat mesmerizing. The sheer power I pushed and fury of the thing were sobering and intoxicating at the same time. It felt like the king of the world, like nothing could take me down. Except the damn thing itself, of course.

"That's a weird book, what is it about?" spoke suspiciously a voice behind me. I jumped and snapped the book shut, springing on my feet in half a second. It was Zach, I had been so entranced in the book I hadn't felt the proximity ward break.

"That? Oh, it's just a spellbook." I answered casually, trying to calm my startled nerves and starting to sweat. Calm the fuck down.

"Lemme see." he stretched his hand forward.

"No. Did you have something to ask me?" I replied coldly.

Suddenly, he whipped his wand to me. It was a secondary wand James had bought so he could train without triggering the Trace.

"I said, give me the book." he ordered quietly, his breathing even. Mine was chaotic, I was practically panting from just standing here. I whipped my own wand to him. He watched it for a moment, his eyes narrowing slowly.

"That isn't your wand."

"I bought a new one, the old one was broken. Now lower your wand, Zach." I commanded in a strong voice. He didn't move.

"I don't think so, Harry, we need to straighten this out. You've acted strange since forever, but since Hogwarts, you're even weirder, darker." he muttered.

"Bullshit, and you know it. Drop the wand or it's gonna get ugly." I snorted.

"Think you can take me on?" he mocked, adopting a stupid superior smirk. He was quite proud of his dad's training.

I didn't answer.

"Give me the damn book, Harry. It's a dark book isn't it?"

I said nothing, he spat on the floor angrily.

"That's it then, Stupefy!"

The red bolt of energy flew forward me as I made a circular motion without moving, conjuring a small wooden plank just on the way of his spell. The plank exploded and two major tripping hexes followed the splinters from my wand, along with a silent Frangerium, the silent explosion curse. All of them were legal and considered "bright", or at least "grey". What a boring way to fight.

His eyes opened wide at my display of silent magic and he shielded the two apple green hexes, dropping the shield a moment after to retaliate, unaware of the colorless one that was following. The explosion struck him and chucked him into a bush of the backyard, blasting chunks of earth and grass silently everywhere. He had quick reflexes, though, he blocked my incoming silent obliviation curse, thankfully unable to tell what it was, and stood up again.

"Not bad, Harry, you've been training in secret?" he laughed without humor as I sidestepped his two stunner an crouched under his conjured net. I waved my wand in an intricate motion for a second and wordlessly blasted a pressurized jet of water to him. He tried to dodge it but I was aiming at his legs, successfully throwing him on the ground again. I was about to try another obliviation when he shot at me a trio of Expelliarmus that grazed me dangerously as I dove to the side. A plethora of curses came to my mind but not a single one would leave him unscathed or even breathing. I vanished another incoming net and shot four light cannonball hexes at him, he dodged three projectiles and blocked one, he then assaulted me again with a thick salvo of stunners and disarmers. I rolled the side and aimed at his knee, shooting an overpowered Pellifustis.

The strong striking spell was deflected by a hastily produced shield that cracked and exploded immediately, surprising Zach who probably though his shield was good enough to take anything I'd throw at it. He countered with a few shouted banishers I sidestepped easily. I could have actually run to him and hit him in the guts with my fist at that moment, he wouldn't see me coming with my inhuman speed and strength. But I refrained myself, it wasn't safe, James could be watching, and I wasn't that fast without any momentum. Zach could be actually fast enough to stun me at the last second, it was too dangerous to bet on it.

"You don't have any right to look at my books if I don't want you to, Zach! For fuck's sake, just drop it!" I shouted pleadingly.

"You're really good, Harry, how the hell did you get so good?" he was panting heavily, sweating and dripping from the previous shower I had hit him with.

"I'm not good, you're just bad." I mocked, still aiming at him. He shot a glance to the entrance to the house behind the bushes of the vast backyard.

"Don't want to tell, heh? I'm sure dad will be interested in that book of yours." he spat before hurrying back to the house, still pointing his wand at me awkwardly while he reached the glass door.

Fuck, he's going to tell James. I slipped the book in my pants and strode to the house. I climbed the stairs as I heard Zach shouting to James in the living room.

"... dark magic spellbook dad! And I dueled him just now, he's almost as good as me, I swear!"

I slapped my door shut and started gathering my stuff in my trunk. Most of it was already inside already. I knew how that would turn out. James was incredibly paranoiac since a year or two ago, considering what happened to Zach, it was not surprising. His number one reason to live was to protect and make a capable hero out of Zach. He was probably already whipping his wand out and climbing the stairs.

"Harry!" resounded his loud voice in the house. What was I saying?

My door opened loudly and a furious James burst in the room, wand pointed at me. Mine was already pointed at the door before he had kicked it open. Behind him were Zach and Lily, determined and scared, in that order.

"What do you want?" I asked calmly, I had the situation in hand.

"Zachary told us everything, show us the book."

"What if I refuse?"

His face reddened, his grip around his wand straightened.

"I will ask you to leave this house." he said strongly, ignoring Lily squeaking beside him.

I nodded.

"Understood, I'll live with my girlfriend, don't try to look for me." I backed off from them, still aiming at him and opened my window. He hadn't seen this coming, obviously, he was now staring at me dumbly.

"Wait!"

I jumped off the window, my trunk following me in my dive, and landed on the grass. I pushed magic in my limbs and leaped forward, speeding to my faithful scooter before James could run to the window.

I had to guess he rushed to the window only to see an empty patch of grass under it. I smirked and revved the scooter up. I shrank my trunk and pocketed it.

I could go to London with the magical bus, but I was in no hurry. Spending the rest of the day on my scooter seemed pleasant enough.

How will Loren react? She'll be happy I'm here that's for sure, but her parents? Hell if they can't take me I'll just lend a room in the Leaky Cauldron. I needed to spend as little money as I could, I had planned to get myself a Mage Knight armor and the few things that I had found out about the body conceiving ritual were promising it to be expensive.

And I don't take human sacrifices in account...

No, the sacrifices would be free.

I knew I should shudder at the very thought but I couldn't find any part of me that found it really cruel or bad. Lily and James would give their life for Natasha, and it was absolutely logical.

So simple, so evident that I wondered why it didn't come to me immediately.

It had turned out Loren's mother, Darleen, was very happy to help me out and find out about her daughter's first love. Of course she was suspicious at first, when I invented that story of my family going away and explained that I wanted to stay so I could see Loren, but she quickly forgot about it after a few well placed confusion charms. The father was killed during the last war, I already knew that.

Loren, she had been radiant. Me living with her every day for more than a month was the perfect gift for her holidays, as it seemed. However, I hadn't much time for her. I had many things to do, completing the research on the Horus Portal and Body Recreation ritual were paramount, and controlling fiendfyre had become an obsession.

I usually left the Nerys apartment for my second favorite forest, the Dean Forest, around six in the morning when everybody was still sleeping and came back around six in the evening, in time to spend a few hours with Loren and satisfy her needs.

It wasn't going very good, I had been here for a month and she was starting to really have enough of it. Often she would snap at me and demand explanations of where I went, what I did and why she couldn't come with me. It was getting hard to keep her off my back, and at the same time I didn't want to keep her off my back. I truly loved her for what she was, for how she made me laugh and how she laughed with me, for her weird habits and strange conversations. She helped me not to become insane. Or not too much at the very least.

While the Occlumency lesson had ended since I had bargained Hellard for the Red Manticores, my body still craved darkness. I sound like an angsty teenager... Oh wait.

I still needed to cast dark magic a few times per week, just to feel good. My headache had diminished but was still present, in the background of my conscience, lurking behind my brain and clouding my thoughts. I was now massively proficient with dark magic of any kind, even silently for most of it. I had experimented a bit with golems again and found that I was not only strong enough to handle them without a sweat but I was also pretty good at summoning them. Or maybe I'm just super good at rituals.

Fiendfyre, on the other way, was really hard.

The burning entity wouldn't accept me as its master, even as I was getting used to its power. My own magic refuses to obey me... admittedly the stronger part of my magic, but still. So I was doing what the book at recommended, I tried again and again to make it bow with my will. In the outside world, it was nothing more than a staring contest with its pitch-black eyes until I collapsed, but in my psyche, it was a true wrestling match between my immortal self and a storm of demonic fire.

It was probably more dangerous than I realized, even if I realized it. Often I commanded the beast to vanish just before it broke my will, escaping death by a few microseconds. It was even more terrifying when you felt how much power and will you needed to successfully banish it. I felt like I brushed death everytime, surviving only thanks to my refusal to die before the end. The end? The beginning.

"So, how was it?" asked Loren as I entered her room. She was reading a book.

"How was what?" I replied, jumping in the bed beside her.

"I don't know, you tell me."

I pondered on that for a moment and shrugged.

"It was alright." That wasn't entirely true, while I had successfully stared in the cosmic eyes of my flaming magic for at least ten minutes without fainting or drying to death, I still hadn't won control over it.

She nodded and discarded her book, placing herself in front of me on the bed, on her knees. She looked in my eyes with her two grey moons.

I had started passive Legilimency on her a while ago, she seemed to faintly feel it sometimes but believed it was just her feelings for me that made her feel strange. I tried not to use it exceedingly and only to find out about her and her past. It had started it in a form of training, but recently I found myself using it to appease our relationship, it was easier to deal with her anger when I knew exactly what she was thinking.

However, I wasn't very good at it, despite my natural ability in the field of mind magic. It was an art that took years of constant training to master. They said that for Occlumency too, and I had indeed needed years to master it. If I dare calling myself a master.

I started reading her surface thoughts but she cut me.

"I thought about it for a while now, and I think I know." she began, playing with her pretty light blue dress on her thigh. She was already fourteen, and it showed.

She had her own growth spurt just a few days after Hogwarts, and while still completely flat on the chest, she was somewhat nice to look at. Not beautiful like Louise, not pretty like Rosaline, but pleasant to look at. She wasn't one to complain about her average-ness and embraced her womanliness like any fourteen years old girl, wearing cute dresses and nice jewelry. And I embrace her womanliness too... I grinned, remembering the wild and passionate moments we had had until now.

I knew she planned to offer me her virginity on my birthday, I didn't need to read her mind to catch the hints she let out.

"What do you mean?" I asked, weary. Her mind was reflecting a serious determination.

She stopped playing with the thin end of the dress and grasped a handful of it, stretching the cloth around her hands.

"Remember the night when I followed you in the Forbidden Forest? I've been thinking about it." she stared in my eyes and spoke seriously.

"The spell you used that night was definitely not normal. I've looked in a few books for it, but I couldn't find anything that would do what you did."

I tried to speak but she cut me with a wave of her hand.

"No, Harry, I know what I saw; you froze those flaming zebras with a single spell. I didn't know when I saw it but you can't do that to magical creatures that easily. They're way too resistant for that. Also, there is no charm to freeze something like you did, not in Hogwarts' curriculum, not even in seventh year." she spoke strongly, but her voice was slightly shivering. "There are freezing charms, but none of them could do what you did, Harry." she concluded.

"Wait, you-" I planned to tell her something about how I had spread water on them beforehand to freeze them with a standard freezing charm, but she wouldn't let me.

"No, I know you're about to lie, and I don't want to hear it. You want to hear what I think?" she peered into my eyes as I wondered how I would get out of this one.

"You trained with forbidden magic, Harry. I don't know why or how, but it was forbidden magic, and I think you're still doing it even today." she finished strongly, with the faintest waver in her tone.

I stared at her, unsure on what to do next. Laugh in her face or act shocked? No. She deserves better.

"I... I love you, Harry. And whatever you're doing since second year, I don't care. I just want you to share it with me." she muttered as she drew closer, crawling on her knees on the bed sheets.

I was confused, I didn't know what to say, what to do. That was the first time she ever openly declared that she loved me, and as the same time she had discovered my secret. A tiny part of it. But a sufficient part to get in trouble nonetheless. I remembered what I had said myself when I didn't obliviate her after she had caught me in the forest in second year.

A breach I'm willing to let open... She had always been a breach after all. She could have found me out way sooner if she had really wanted to.

"Why can't we go on like before? Why do you need to know?" I muttered darkly, as she took my hands in hers. I was thoroughly lost, torn between my options. Lie to her and limit the damage? Tell her everything? Dump her and never look back?

"Because I can't do it anymore; I need to help you, to be here for you... we can't keep on going like that - I can't." she squeaked softly, tears began to form in her eyes.

I hugged her tightly, breathing her sweet scent as her warm body shuddered in my arms. I fell in love, again. For Loren, again. I gave in.

Without releasing my grip around her, I told her everything. I told her about Natasha, how she lived, how she died. I started sobbing as I told her the sad story of her life - and consequently mine, realizing only now how crazy and desperate I had been since the start, opening the floodgate that had blocked my emotions. All the tears and sorrow I had bottled up over the years went out in a single flow, I was sober again for the first time in three years, hugging her tighter than ever as she herself wept massively.

It's one hell of a pathetic story, in retrospect. Why couldn't I just deal with it like everyone else? Why did I need to go batshit insane and dive in dark magic nonsense with all my being?

We stayed in her bed for a while after I had explained her my purpose, my only aim. To bring Natasha back, at any cost.

She wiped her eyes softly and looked at me with a slight shiver.

"So you're a dark wizard, heh?" she finally uttered with a fake chuckle, visibly shaken by my revelation. I hadn't told her who exactly but at some point I had told her that I had killed, it was too relieving to stop. I had confessed all my sins to her.

I nodded, not bothering to try to find excuses. There weren't any, really. I made choices, and I stick to them. There isn't anybody else to blame, there are no excuses, but I don't need any.

"I... I don't know, Harry. I can't just accept that so easily..." she sobbed a bit more. "You've killed."

It had been said in a whisper, but I could hear the fear into it. My mind clearer than ever, I took the comment in and accepted it. Yes, I've killed. It's too late to stop now. I wouldn't stop anyway. I darkened my tone.

"And I plan to keep going, whatever the difficulties I will face. I won't stop, Loren, not until my sister's back."

She looked at me with a mix of fear and sadness in her wet eyes. She nodded.

"I... I won't tell anybody, Harry. I'll always be on your side." she whispered, successfully locking her eyes on me without trembling.

She wouldn't tell anybody. I knew it. She loved me, I loved her. I knew I could trust her and I wanted to trust her. She would share my secret and keep it secret.

I slipped out of the bed and stood up.

This is the best thing to do. I will regret it, but this is the best thing to do.

"I love you, Loren." I turned to her and pointed my wand to her. She didn't look surprised at all, she only sobbed once before I spoke again.

"Obliviate."

AN: Nothing much to say, keep reviewing, bring me more readers if you can, thank you.