Christmas Special/ Chapter 31: The Letter Of A Dead Woman

It was the middle of the night when I woke up and found my bed without another person in it. I pulled the silk bedclothes to my upper body and looked around sleepily. My room was bathed in deep and light shades of blue. The streaks of moonlight stretched across my desk chair to my carpet, which was still soaked with the floral water. "Nicolas?" I whispered, confused. Did he leave after we...? No, I didn't think about it now, otherwise, I ran the risk of feeling shabby and used. I felt a cold breath of air on my upper right arm. The balcony door was open. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and wrapped myself even deeper in the blanket. I cleared my throat and repeated the question I had just asked, "Nicolas?" The Prince stood by the parapet and turned to me, he was half-dressed again. I raised an eyebrow, "What are you doing out here?" I only got a sigh in reply. Not wanting to go out into the cold winter night dressed only in a blanket, I quickly scurried back and changed into pyjamas with a winter coat and fluffy slippers. I stood next to the Prince of Little England and kept silent. Of course, I didn't have such a breathtaking view as from other chambers. In front of us stood a large, needle-glorious fir tree. Nevertheless, this fact was beside the point, as I wanted to concentrate not on the location of my room anyway, but the prince. He had stiffened and was looking at his hands. What was occupying his mind so much? "I'm sorry Belle, for everything I've done to you and the other ladies. I'm such an idiot. I can't even look after several people. I hurt everyone, I cheat, I lie and worst of all, thanks to me, two ladies died." I cleared my throat and leaned back against the railing to get a better look at him, "Annabeth is still alive, she's in ICU isn't she" He looked at me dead sad, "She died two days ago, her family picked up the ashes before the recording. I was going to tell you tomorrow. We will not take this matter to the public, it would be bad for our image. I have arranged for Annabeth's parents to receive a monthly allowance. Now that their daughter is no longer with us. It won't come close to replacing their daughter, but maybe it will help them. The Tempers refused, they wanted nothing more to do with the monarchy. I don't blame them. If they hadn't sent their daughter for casting, she would still be with us." He became melancholy. I pulled my winter coat even closer to my chest as my body began to lose all its residual warmth from the room. I cleared my throat, "I'm going to tell you something now that is not tactful. I just wish you won't take it the wrong way." My tongue was burning and I didn't want Nicolas to disappear and leave me alone. He looked me in the face and nodded, probably thanking me for this warning. "It doesn't matter if it's Marina, Annabeth or me. If it hadn't been for us, Leopold would surely have used other girls for his purposes. I'm sure he already had several ladies here for his plans," I fell silent when I noticed how dark his expression became. "You may be right Maybelle, but it was indeed quite tactless." Maybelle, he had never called me that before. It was a small cut in my heart, I swallowed and apologised. He hugged me and did not let go. "What did the letter say?", I asked him. His expression darkened: "I don't want to talk about it now, Belle." I bit my lip and sucked in his scent. Why did I always act so childish? My nose wrinkled and my fingers throbbed with cold. "Can we please go back inside, I'm cold." He nodded and I ran ahead of him back to my room. Immediately my blood cells stirred and pumped warmth through my body. I dropped both my coat and my scarf. Nicolas was now also standing in the doorway, asking to enter. "I will go to my chambers, I have something to do," he kissed me on the cheek. There was a slight tingling where his lips touched my skin. But before he disappeared completely, he put a note on my dresser with the porcelain dancer. I had bought this figure from a flea market and taken it to the palace, the stand was hollow inside. For years, I had written little secrets on pieces of paper and put them inside. "I won't tell you what was in Anna's message because I want to process it first, but you are just as involved as I am. You have a right to know, I'll leave it here for you to look at. I hope we see each other again soon," his voice was soft but rough. I waited a while before taking the letter. I turned on the dessert lamp and began to read. It had been written in pencil and haste. The letters were completely choppy.

"Dear Nicolas, this will be the last you hear from me. First of all, thank you for helping me with Leopold Rauch. I'm sorry that it caused you so much trouble. As well as what I will do after this letter to you. I have not told you the real reason why I could be blackmailed in the first place. It all started a long time ago. My mother remarried and I got a brother. Seven. We got along amazingly well until one day it became more. We had a secret affair, I got pregnant. We didn't know what to do. But before we could decide, Seven had a tragic car accident. He was the chauffeur and skidded his car over Towerbridge into the next wall of a house. The occupants died at the scene of the accident. So I was pregnant and desperate. I had the child removed. One of the hardest decisions of my life, I regret it to this day. Anyway, somehow Leopold had found out. I didn't want to die and have my family downgraded to a four. I know I would have got the death penalty. I will go now and hope that all my sins will be forgiven."

I lowered the letter of resignation. She had an abortion? Poor thing, in our country it was very close to murder. I understood why Nicolas didn't want to talk about it, it was terrible.