16. Chapter 16

MAYA’S POV

Carina returned to the table with a polite smile on her lips but avoided looking at me for the rest of the evening - she was too polite to simply ignore me, but she didn't initiate any topics of conversation directly with me and I missed her eyes on mine - and all the confidence I felt that the evening would end in a wonderful way vanished with each passing minute.

My heart clenched in my chest as I screamed at myself inside my head, hating myself a little more for being a coward and a wuss. If I hadn't been afraid of my feelings, none of this would have happened.

-Do you want another drink, Carina? - Travis stood up when it was his and Vic's turn to refill our glasses.

-No, I'd better stay sober from now on, I don't want to wake up with a headache tomorrow. I'll cover the morning shift. - My eyes went straight to her face beside me as she answered and again, she stood her ground looking directly at my friend.

-Maya? - Vic asked, pointing at my empty glass.

-Oh, nothing for me either, thanks. - I replied and sighed heavily.

Andy stared at me across the table with a questioning look in her eyes and I just shrugged discreetly when Carina picked up her cell phone and started checking her messages. My friend moved her lips in front of me in something resembling an " apologize" when she realized that Carina was oblivious to our interaction and I just nodded once because I knew it was the right thing to do, I was just waiting for the right opportunity.

This is why feelings are complicated and this is definitely why I haven't dealt with feelings before. It's confusing and somebody always ends up getting hurt over something.

-I think I'll call it a night. - Carina spoke up when Vic and Travis returned with three large glasses full of beer.

-Oh, so soon Carina? - Travis lamented with a pout.

-Not all of us have the day off tomorrow. - She grinned softly at my friend and stood up.

-I... - The words caught in my throat when for the first time since the incident at the counter Carina turned and looked at me, her eyes cold and indifferent, and having her gaze on me was almost as hard as not having them. - I'll walk you out.

Travis and Vic exchanged a furtive glance and, in their minds, they did a good job of hiding it, but I simply rolled my eyes at their interaction and shoved my hands into my jacket pockets.

-If that's okay. - I added softly as Carina put on her own overcoat.

-Fine. - She spoke in the same tone as she buttoned the buttons.

-Have a nice rest tomorrow, drink some water, and stick to beer. - I recommended to my friends before waving to them.

-Yes, Captain. - All three spoke in response.

-Always good to see you, Carina! - Andy said smiling at the Italian woman.

-Yeah, don't be a stranger! - Vic added.

-Please grace us with your divine presence at the station some time soon, oh great goddess. - Travis spoke very theatrically and drew laughter from the girls, including Carina.

-I will! Thanks for the evening, guys. - Carina waved as well, and I stepped back so that she could walk in front of me.

I took one last look at my friends and all three of them gave me a hard and intense look.

-Apologize! - All three of them spoke at the same time.

-My God! I know! I will! - I rolled my eyes at them and ran after Carina who was already reaching the door.

I took a few deep breaths as I climbed the stairs leading up to the street and went to Carina.

-Hey. - I spoke to get her attention and gathered all the courage I had to start talking. - I am sorry. I know I should have apologized sooner; I'm just not used to it, I don't have the best radar for feelings or... relationships. That's why I don't deal with them. Not that this is a good enough excuse to justify my lack of tact in some situations, but I wanted you to know that I'm really sorry.

-I'm not used to it either, you know, Maya? It's hard for me too. - She spoke back, her arms folded across her chest and her head lowered as she stared at her feet. - And I know we haven't talked about it, and maybe you're not ready to talk about it, but I really thought there was something between us, even if we don't know how to name it yet.

-There is! Of course, there is something between us. - I was quick to respond. My heart was pounding in my chest and my throat was burning with all the feelings bubbling up inside my chest that wanted to be expressed in some way. My body oscillated between an intense desire to scream and cry at the same time.

-That's not what it sounded like when you weren't sure you wouldn't go to bed with that woman if I wasn't around. - She spoke back and lifted her face. I could see at that moment how her eyes glistened with a few tears that welled up in her eyes and the burning in my throat only increased. - You made me feel like I didn't matter, like I was nothing to you.

-I was so stupid. You're not nothing to me. You are something. Uh, I hate having to deal with words in situations like this, and I get nervous, and they just come out nonsensical. What I mean is that back at the bar the words came out of my mouth like I used to say them, without certainty so that no commitment could be made, and that wasn't what I wanted, I just let myself fall into my old habits. - I confessed and stepped forward. I wanted to hug her, kiss her cheek and tell her that everything would be okay. I wanted more than anything to see a smile on her face again. - What I should have said, what I wanted to say, was that no, even if you weren't there I wouldn't go to bed with Jane because I can't think of anyone else but you. I can't wish for anyone else. You did things to me, you changed something inside me, not something, a lot of things and now I can't be who I was before you came back to me even though sometimes these old habits come out.

-I want to trust you. - She whispered and a lone tear ran down one of her cheeks. - But I'm afraid you're going to hurt me.

-I won't, Carina. Not with this. - I took another step toward her and couldn't contain my impulse to wipe away the tear that ran down her cheek. - I can't handle everything I feel, everything I'm learning, at least not as fast as I'd like to, but I'm an honorable person, a woman of my word, and I give you my word here today that I will never have eyes for anyone else as long as you want to be with me.

Carina sniffled once, the tip of her nose much redder than it used to be when she was cold, and when I took another step toward her, keeping my hand on her face, she didn't shy away from the closeness. I leaned my face toward hers and captured her lips. I tried to pass on my promise in that kiss that I would be faithful to her as long as she chose to be with me, and that wasn't a hard promise to make because I already knew - felt - that other people no longer provoked the same reactions as before.

I pulled away for a brief second only to capture her lips again in a sweet, delicate kiss, a brushing of lips that sealed a commitment I wasn't ready to speak aloud yet, but that I hoped she felt the same way I did.

-Should I still go to your place, or do you want the evening to yourself? - I asked softly with my forehead pressed against hers as the kiss ended.

-I still want you to come home with me. - She spoke back and kissed me gently once more before pulling away and reaching into her overcoat pocket for her cell phone.

-Wonderful. - I smiled and kissed her cheek while she asked for an Uber.

During the ride we were silent, but Carina's hand was in mine, our fingers intertwined as I ran my thumb along the back of her hand repeatedly. When we arrived in front of her house I quickly looked at my car parked in the garage next to Carina's and a small part of me wondered what a life would be like where that was my new normal, arriving home, parking my car in the garage and being greeted by the woman who makes my heart beat faster and some Italian pasta that would make me have a foodie orgasm.

-Vieni qui! - Come here. - Carina held out her hand to me as soon as I took off my jacket and hung it behind the door.

I followed her hand with a smile and let her pull me closer to her body before initiating a tender kiss, but one that was definitely more demanding than the ones we had exchanged in front of the bar. Her mouth was ferocious, her sweet, warm tongue snaked across my lips in search of mine, and when the two touched I let out a sigh as Carina moaned.

I brought my hands up to her back, my fingers running up and down the delicate fabric of her dress as Carina crossed her arms behind my head, resting them on my shoulders. I hugged her waist and pulled her closer to me, I wanted to feel her warm body against mine, and the middle of my legs pulsed in arousal even though I knew that I would probably be punished for my behavior soon.

We walked blindly across the room, our mouths parting only to take another route against our skins. I bit and licked Carina's neck the way I knew she liked it, my hand went down to her ass, giving it a firm squeeze as I enjoyed these moments of domination she was granting me. I knew that it would be over at any moment.

-I'm sorry too. - Carina held both sides of my face, preventing me from continuing the kisses I was making towards her cleavage. I creased my forehead at her words but waited for her to continue. - I'm not a jealous, insecure person. I don't know what happened, there isn't much logic in me when it comes to you, and I still don't know how to deal with it.

-It's okay. - I shrugged. I knew that if the situation were reversed, I would probably have the same reaction, and just the thought that this might happen in the future made me uncomfortable.

-Actually, I know what happened. - Her thumbs went back and forth against my cheeks. - She made me insecure when she said she knew how to do everything the way you liked and that it wasn't worth taking a chance with me.

-Carina... - I shook my head and closed my eyes. - Haven't I told you enough how much pleasure you give me and teach me every time you touch me? Aren't my body's reactions enough for you to be absolutely sure that no one will ever make me feel as good as you do?

She didn't answer, just stared into my eyes.

-Even knowing that you will probably punish me in a few minutes is making my panties wet. - I confessed, turning my face slightly so that I could kiss the palm of one of the hands that held my face. - At any other time in my life I would be upset that I had to surrender the control I had over you this morning so that you could vent your frustration on my body, but that's not what's happening now. I willingly give in when I'm with you because I know that you will take care of me and give me exactly what I need.

As the words left my mouth, a breath got caught in my chest because this constant exposure therapy of sharing my thoughts and feelings with Carina in an attempt to make me more comfortable with this vulnerable state still made me nervous. But Carina looked at me with such intensity, listened to me with such attention, and was so interested in every word that came out of my mouth, that it was easier than I thought to open my heart to her.

-Am I a good girl? - She asked softly after a few seconds of just staring at each other, and her question caught me off guard as a rush of pleasure ran down my body and concentrated right between my legs. My center throbbed painfully with pleasure. I hadn't imagined that I would have a chance to have any control over Carina that night, but hearing that question made the fire that I had been trying to quell slowly, reignite with full force. Her words were like gasoline to the flames burning inside me. - Am I your good girl?

-Yes. - I swallowed hard after giving her only one word as an answer. Carina's gaze changed, becoming a little softer, and she nibbled her lower lip when I brought my hands to her wrists and pulled her hands gently down to entwine our fingers. - I thought you'd want to spank me tonight.

-I do, but I want to satisfy you more, to do everything the way you like it, just like Jane. - She licked her lips slowly, drawing my attention to the gesture and making my mouth go dry at the provocative and delicious sight. - Let you do whatever you want with me, obey you, and let you take care of me.

-You don't have to do anything like Jane. Everything you do is so much better. - I was honest in my words, and I hoped that she would believe what I was telling her. - But the idea of doing whatever I want with you is too tempting for me to reject your offer, baby.

-Then don't. - She smiled sideways at me. - Take me as only you know how, Captain. Be as hard on me as you want. My pleasure is yours.

She was saying all the right things to turn me on, to drive me crazy, to drive all the ordinary thoughts out of my mind, leaving behind only the thoughts of what I wanted to - and would - do to her. Carina was stirring up the controlling and possessive side of me, and at that moment that alone was enough for a familiar heat to run through my abdomen in a clear sign of growing arousal.

-Are you going to behave yourself, baby girl? - I asked before running my hands up her arms.

-Yes, Captain. - She whispered back with a small smile, knowing that what had started as a tease was now becoming an exciting and stimulating exchange.

There in the middle of the room, with the dim lighting provided by the light coming in through the windows from outside, I pulled my shirt over my head and let Carina stare at my body. Before she could even reach out to touch me, I grabbed both sides of her face and pulled her into a searing kiss, letting my tongue immediately be forced against her lips in a passionate cry for more. More of Carina. More of her tongue. More of her kisses. More of her hands going up and down my back as I forced her to walk backwards, seeking some support for her back so that I could finally press my body firmly against hers.

When I realized that we were walking in vain, our legs tangling in the process, I decided to please Carina a little by doing something she really liked.

-Yes! -She gasped, throwing her head back, wriggling in my arms as she pressed her thighs against my sides. I carried her by the back of my thighs, her dress riding up as high as possible in the process, and my fingers sinking against her flesh. - You make me so wet when you do that.

Her words urged me to take her for myself in every way possible. I wanted to feel her as close as possible. I pressed my mouth against her neck, biting the skin hard before easing the pain with my tongue, hearing her loud, languid moan echo through the room.

-Let me check that. - I murmured against her skin as I finally pressed her body against one of the walls, supporting some of her weight with the pressure my own body exerted against hers. Without any teasing I brought one of my hands down between your legs, keeping the other under one of your thighs, and moaned audibly, my mouth pressed against her chest when I felt her wet panties. - Damn it, Car! You weren't lying, you really are pretty wet.

-For you. - She gasped, arching her back against the wall, bringing her chest even closer to my mouth.

My mid-legs ached from the irrepressible arousal that was gripping me. Carina knew how to push my buttons, knew how to bring me to the brink of madness.

-You better bet it's for me. - I grunted, lifting my face, and taking her mouth in one more hot and wet kiss, provocative, intense, and full of moans and shared breaths as I rubbed my fingers up and down her thong.

I placed her on the floor, without stopping our kiss, and - begrudgingly - removed my hand from between her legs so that I could hold both of her shoulders. I felt a wave of pleasure wash over me, I wanted her now, there was no way to control myself when Carina continued to offer herself to me - only and exclusively to me.

In one swift movement I ended the kiss and, with both hands on her shoulders, pulled her body to me so that I could quickly turn her around, leaving her with her back to me and pressed her body again, now delicately so that she wouldn't hurt herself, against the wall in front of her; I moved her hair to the side, my mouth meeting the warm skin of her nape next, and kisses, licks, and bites were distributed over the area as my hands pulled her dress even higher, freeing her ass from its binding and letting only a tiny, lacy triangle of her panties stand between my fingers and the warmth and wetness of her core.

-I need to feel you tight against my fingers. - I gasped against her ear, and Carina threw her head back, resting it on my shoulder as she moaned and brought both hands to the wall while she thrust her ass back in silent request. - Do you want that? Do you want my fingers to stretch you until you're full?

-Yes, please. - She moaned.

My hands squeezed her ass while I sucked on her earlobe, Carina responded to my touch intensely, her loud breathing mingling with her own moans as I gave her a particularly hard squeeze. Her hips moved, pushing her flesh against my fingers, she was asking for more, wanting more.

-Were you also thinking of me when you chose these panties?

-Yes. - She answered softly, then moaned when I pulled the waistband of her panties up a little higher, giving her some pressure between her legs.

-So very thoughtful. - I kissed the back of her neck, nibbled on it, and smoothed some of the pain away with the tip of my tongue.

I would never tire of the taste of Carina's skin against my tongue, tasting her was enough to make me drip down my thighs, pulsate so intensely that I could - and would - approach my orgasm without being touched properly down there.

-Push that hot ass up for me, baby girl. - I asked against her ear, my voice so much thicker than usual denoting all my excitement. Carina obeyed, spread her legs a little wider, leaned her torso forward, and let her bottom lean against my body, a spectacular and mouth-watering sight. - You have such a beautiful ass! I want it red for me.

And with that I slapped her ass hard, rubbing my fingers against it and Carina moaned loudly in response. Another slap was given, now on the other side, and more moans escaped the Italian's throat, she gasped loudly, but kept her ass arched in my direction; she wanted more and I would give her everything she wanted.

-You are such a tease. - I murmured, rubbing my fingers against the redness that spread on both sides of her ass. I gritted my front against the bulge and rubbed there until I gave a little friction and relief to my clit, moaning loudly when it happened and Carina seemed to love hearing my loud, uncontrolled sounds. - But that's enough, I really need to be inside you.

I pulled her panties to the side and before I could get any response from the woman, I rubbed two of my fingers along the wet path, up to her clit, teasing her with slow circles before returning to her entrance, circling it with both my fingers.

-Take me, Maya. - asked Carina in a whimper.

-Does your pussy need me, baby? - I whispered against her ear, pressing my front against her back and circling even more slowly around her entrance; more whimpers came from the Italian.

-So much. - She gasped.

-Actually, that's my pussy, isn't it? Only mine. - I groaned as I entered her delicately, just a few centimeters, feeling her walls closing tightly around the little length that filled her.

-Yes, yes, yes! - She moaned. - Yours. Your pussy for you to do as you please.

-That's the way I like it. - And with that I rammed deep inside her. The length of my fingers sliding smoothly until I was filling her completely, reciting a loud moan in response, watching her fingers close around nothing against the wall. - So tight. So wet for me. Can you feel how I slide inside you, Car? How easy it is to fuck you deep and hard when you're this surrendered to me?

-It feels so good. - She moaned, her forehead now pressed against the wall in front of her as I slid in and out of her tunnel repeatedly, widening it and letting her entrance close a little only to penetrate her again and feel her walls squeezing harder and harder against my fingers. - Faster. Fuck me faster, bambina.

-I'll fuck you any way I want. - I spoke harshly, penetrating her deeply and curving my fingers inside Carina, stroking her inner walls before withdrawing my fingers and thrusting deep inside her again. - Your pleasure is mine, remember?

-Yes, Captain! My pleasure is yours. - She moaned. Her forehead still pressed against the wall as I repeated the deep, slow pumps inside her, restraining myself from speeding up and giving her exactly what she wanted so soon.

-Hold me inside you, baby. - I commanded against her ear before nibbling on her lobe, and Carina did exactly as I asked, contracting her walls so hard against my fingers that my knuckles ached inside her. The most pleasurable kind of pain. - Yes, just like that. Feel me filling you completely, feel my fingers sliding inside you.

Carina trembled in front of me as I moved my fingers, with great difficulty, back and forth in a slightly faster rhythm. She was trying to maintain the strong pressure against my fingers, but it wasn't long before she relented and loosened her grip against my digits, this time allowing my faster and equally deep movements to take over her insides.

I stuck my free hand in her hair, pulled the strands until her head hung back and stroked deep, I shoved my fingers in and out quickly, my back and forth was faster, more frantic, I wanted to give her everything she wanted at that moment. I wanted her to come without having to touch me.

-That's it! That's it, baby! Take my fingers. - I moaned against her ear, Carina moaned loudly in response. - I feel you pulsing around me, is that how you want it?

-Sì! - She gasped.

I sped up my movements even more and now Carina was screaming as she met my fingers with her hips with each thrust. Still pulling her hair, I moved her head to the side and attacked her neck with kisses and bites.

-Dio mio! - She moaned after a hard pump.

-What a good girl! - I gasped against her neck and Carina moaned loudly. - You're my good girl, baby! It feels so good to fuck you! You know exactly how to take my fingers.

-Fuck, Maya! - She moaned loudly. I sped up my movements.

-You're the only one I want. - I whispered against her ear without stopping fucking her. - You're perfect for me.

-Yes, yes! - Carina whimpered. - I'm gonna cum!

-Come for me, Carina! Come for me like no other has ever come, so deliciously, so obediently. Being the best girl for your captain. - The words were out before I could even process them, but apparently someone had a praise kink, because Carina moaned and gasped loudly, holding my fingers inside her as her walls clenched. - Let me feel your pussy pulsating for me, dripping through my fingers. I want to feel you coming.

-Fuck! - She screamed, a guttural roar escaping her throat, loud and without any attempt to be contained, and her walls clenched against my fingers as I felt the hot wetness being expelled from her entrance and dripping down my fingers onto the palm of my hand. - Dio mio! Dio mio! Maya! Yes!

-Shit! - I groaned, feeling the burning in the middle of my legs. I had never felt so good giving pleasure to another person as I did at that moment.

I wanted to rub myself against anything, I wanted to stick my fingers in my pants and masturbate so that I would soon find the climax that was already so close to me. I withdrew my fingers from inside Carina only to rub her clit a few times and make her shiver some more, enjoying her orgasm, moaning my name once again that night - and I would never get tired of hearing her like that, surrendered to the pleasure I gave her - and I felt even more jealous of the Italian woman's post-orgasmic state.

-I'm so close to cumming already, Car. - I gasped the confession still against her ear, the position we were in still allowing it, and Carina moaned at my words. - Get down on your knees for me, Carina. Make me cum.

Even though the intention was to order her to do so, my desperation made the words come out as a request, but Carina soon turned around in front of me and did exactly as I asked, with hands hurrying to the waistband of my pants, looking up to meet my eyes as she knelt in front of me and another strong throbbing was felt in my clit - only the sight of it already pushing me closer to the precipice.

-What a good girl. - I spoke as she pulled down my pants and panties. I threaded my fingers through her hair, gathering it into a loose ponytail to free her face before spreading my legs a little wider. - Now let your tongue do the work. Lick me until I cum in your mouth, baby, it won't take long.

-Yes, Captain. - She gave me another one of those smiles that told me she was loving my control over her and then, making a show of it, stuck out her tongue and moved closer to my center to give me a torturously slow lick between my folds.

-Fuck! - I gasped when the contact of her warm tongue against my clit made my knees tremble a little. With my free hand I leaned on the wall behind her and forced my body to remain upright, looking down to lock my eyes on hers.

Carina spared no effort, she didn't try to tease me, she knew what I wanted, and she knew I wouldn't take long to cum so she focused all the attention of her tongue against my bundle of nerves in quick circles and back and forth licking, sliding down the path of my slit. Her movements were precisely what I needed, I pressed my fingers tight against her hair and let my hips move freely meeting her tongue with each thrust.

-Suck me, baby! Please! - I asked, thrusting my hips forward, opened my leg wider, and pressed her face against my pussy. When Carina's lips closed against my clit, I moaned loudly, and my muscles contracted with intensity. - Yes! Like that, baby! Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum! Don't stop!

She didn't stop.

And I exploded.

Every cell in my body vibrated with pleasure, my abdomen burned with the intense contractions and the sweat dripped down my back, following the same path as the shivers that sprang from the back of my neck. I felt another slow lick from Carina between my legs, my hips responded with a sharp twitch, and I pulled away gasping for air.

-That's enough. - I whispered, my throat scratching from the dryness. I looked down and Carina was biting her lower lip in a contentment, and arousal, that I knew would come when she gave me pleasure that night. 

I leaned down and took her mouth with mine, my taste mixing with the taste of her tongue was exhilarating and I moaned softly as I noticed the mixture. When I pulled away, I brushed my nose against hers and helped her up, getting another kiss next.

-I don't want anyone else, Carina. I only want you. - I repeated the confession I had made close to her ear while taking her a few minutes ago. - You're perfect for me.

-I am?

-Yes, you are.