Epilogue: Are you a Demon Summoner?

And so, after the meeting with Shiki, Sunday passed by and we were finally on to Monday. Sunday was a normal day unlike any other. Well, that depends if you call living with a demon and exorcist normal, then, yeah, I guess it's normal.

I have gotten used to it. I mean, it's better than living alone. At first, when I first acquired Astoria, she was annoying, and she still is. It felt like I was alone. It wasn't up until recently when I fully acknowledged her existence, I guess. As they say, you don't treasure the things you're supposed to until they're gone. Good thing that Astoria didn't disappear on me.

'What? Really?'

I said in a surprised tone. Currently, at the table, we're eating breakfast. When I say "we," I don't include Astoria. Nagisa and I. Nagisa told me that her kouhai, Kei Asahi–that's an alias–apparently faced a black exorcist and gained some new information. Though it's not too relevant to me.

Seemingly, black exorcists are ex-exorcists and they exchange their powers for the powers of Demon Summoners, which give them hereditary abilities since they fused with their demon. When I heard this, I had one thought in mind.

If you fuse with your demon, do your personalities merge?

I took a glance at Astoria, who looked like she was pouting and then directed my attention onto Nagisa once again. Yeah, if Astoria and I were to fuse, I'd rather die than have her inside my brain with me. Though death is my desire.

Speaking of which, this would be a perfect time to try it. I haven't tried it for a week or so, and it wouldn't hurt to try. Looking at the chopsticks in my hand, I put one onto the table and set one beside my neck.

'Eh? Regulus?!'

Without hesitation, I thrust the chopsticks into my neck. Or so that was what was supposed to happen. Black mist held my hand and stopped it from reaching my neck. I could feel the hair of Astoria on my shoulder and her face was right next to mine. Pecking it with her lips, she then said.

'Regulus. I thought we were over with this.'

'Guess not.'

Even I don't know why I'm continuing to commit suicide. Actually, I lied. I do. And I explained it to Shiki. I may have a friend and people to talk to, but I don't have a long-term or major goal.

As I set down the half chopstick, Nagisa stares at me like I'm crazy. I guess anyone would, even if they are an exorcist and everything.

'What are you doing?'

'Remember? It's my desire. Anyways, have you decided what to do with me?'

Nagisa has been staying here for around five or six days, so she's bound to have made a decision. Hopefully, she has–no, I take it back. That guilty face she's making tells me she hasn't yet. I wonder why.

'So, you haven't. Why?'

'Well, we have to get ready for midterms. They're literally in two weeks. I just want to study and focus for now.'

Ah. I forgot that we have midterms coming up. My grades are average for everything except for English. In junior high, I also got 100 on my English tests. It shouldn't be too different excluding the fact that I'm in high school now. Yeah, with those, I guess that evaluating me can wait.

...

She doesn't need to study, does she? She's the top female student in our year.

I slammed the table and shot up from my seat.

'Shouldn't you be putting others' lives before your own?! You need to evaluate me!'

Truthfully, I want to know. I want to know what I'm worth.

Nagisa sighed and spoke.

'If I'm being honest, I can't evaluate you.'

'You can't?'

'Yes. I can't. I'll explain why. In exorcism, when dealing with Demon Summoners, we usually deal with them in three ways. The hardest way is by exorcising the demon. The uncommon way is by killing the Demon Summoners themselves. While the most common is making the Demon Summoner fulfil their desire. Usually, during that, if the demon interferes, it'll get exorcised by the exorcist.'

She can't use the most common way, because it would result in my death. Nagisa can't kill me either because it'll fulfil my desire–although I don't know what's so wrong about a desire being complete. And exorcising the demon wouldn't work since Astoria is stronger than Nagisa.

The only way I can think of her getting rid of Astoria would be...

'Wouldn't you get help?'

Astoria didn't seem pleased by the fact that I was giving Nagisa ideas.

'Hey, don't go giving her ideas so that she can exorcise me. Not that I can be exorcised.'

I wonder what that means, but I'll ignore it for now. It's probably just Astoria and her childish attitude.

'If I would, I'd be a laughing stock within the Divine Cathedral. You see, I'm kind of like a person who works alone. So, if I did...'

Nagisa twiddled her fingers together while her sentence trailed off.

'Okay, okay, I understand. You can't do anything about me.'

'Yeah, but there is something I can do.'

'Which is?'

'I can refer you to the Exorcist Bureau and then we can have you examined.'

Exorcist Bureau? I already don't like the sound of it. I mean, she said examined. It sounds like I'm some sort of lab rat or something. Plus, I'm still not sure whether I should see exorcists as enemies or allies.

'You should do it.'

Surprisingly, it wasn't Nagisa who said it, but, my demon, Astoria. She was floating in the air above the table. Yeah, I'm super surprised as to why Astoria would want me to go to the Exorcist Bureau.

'It's fine. Doing this may get us verified so that we can live together without worry!'

Astoria posed like she was an idol. With two fingers in front of one eye and her tongue stuck out. So that's her plan. I expect nothing more from Astoria. Though Astoria may be carefree and bubbly, she isn't someone a normal exorcist could top in battle. I knew that after seeing her fight with Nagisa. A demon like her wouldn't blindly walk into enemy territory if it was dangerous.

'Okay, we'll go on Wednesday.'

Nagisa tilted her head in confusion.

'Eh, why not today or tomorrow?'

'Because today, I have something to do and tomorrow, I'll go buy a new table.'

With the expenses I was sent by mo–Lina, I should be able to buy a new one, instead of using this short table. Still, it makes me sick using her money for this. It's the same for anything else. But when I look back on it, she was being coerced by him. Reality isn't that kind. Anyhow, what's done is done, I guess. No way to change it.

I guided my look to the clock on the wall. Once I processed the time in my head, I finally realised. Standing up, I grabbed my bag and put on my shoes. Nagisa aimlessly stares at me from the small table as I hop to put my shoe on.

'Where're you going?'

'What do you mean, "where're you going?!" We have school! It's ten past eight! We have twenty minutes to get to school, and that's how long it takes to get there!'

Nagisa's eyes widened. She put everything back swiftly. Running toward me, she grabbed her bag and put her shoes on.

'Crap, crap, crap!'

In the end, we weren't late thanks to our quick running. I never thought I'd run so fast to school.

[x]

Yeah, crap, I messed up and I blame it on the one they call the Black Queen. By the Black Queen, I refer to my roommate, Kaiyo Nagisa. And it is because she's my roommate, that I messed up. Today, I panicked and ran for school. People saw Nagisa and me running together, and now I'm being shunned more than before. They're just envious beasts.

They're jealous, huh?

I wish they knew about Nagisa's true personality. She's just a normal girl who's similar to Astoria. Bubbly and carefree but serious when it comes down to it. But she's so laid back at home! Never cleaning up, always leaving the work to me! It was better when I was alone.

'So, you're living with the Black Queen?'

A chill runs down my spine. Shiki comes over to my desk and interrogates me. Crap, this is just what I needed. Sir Reuben's killer was about to be discovered too. Well, I guess I can't really avoid him, not someone like Shiki, anyways.

'Yeah. Though it was her who randomly decided to live with me.'

'Ah, so she's the one who confessed first.'

'Confessed? Don't get the wrong idea. We're not dating.'

A sneer appeared on Shiki's face–a devious one.

'What? Are you engaged?'

'You wish.'

I replied indifferently, putting the novel back into my bag. Shiki moved backwards and looked at me with his usual look, though his eyes looked earnest.

'Enough joking. Today, you're going with the straight-up apology plan.'

'Obviously.'

'Well, good luck.'

And he left. That was an unwanted and quick interruption.

[x]

Finally, the end of the school day came along. Meaning, it was finally time. The holding part of my desk was vandalized. Hooray... Yeah, I'm not happy about this. I knew that people liked Nagisa but I never knew that they would go this far. It was a possibility in mind, though.

I wasn't on duty, so I left the class early and headed for the first-year classrooms. To be honest, I have no idea what class she's in and I forgot to ask Shiki about it. Descending the stairs, I reach the start of the first-year corridors.

Now that I start thinking about it, aren't I creepy? I'm specifically talking about this current situation between Kiriyama and me. Like, I always wanted to apologise, but I guess one could say that I was too introverted to apologise. If weren't for the catalyst, Shiki Kumori, then I wouldn't have been here in the first place. God, my heart is beating too fast.

I checked the first classroom, however, she wasn't there. Instead of opening the door and checking from there, I looked in through the windows. There were two people, from that alone, I could tell that 1-1 wasn't her class.

She wasn't in 1-2, or 1-3, either. There was only one class left. Class 1-4, meaning that Kiriyama must've been in the class. Approaching that classroom, I heard voices from doors. One I could recognise, while the other was a male voice.

I thought that it was two girls on classroom duty today. Oh well, I at least know that Kiriyama is in here. That's fine, it's the moment of truth! Sliding the door open, my eyes couldn't believe themselves for a second.

What I saw, was something I wouldn't believe I'd be seeing for my entire life. All of the chairs and desks in the room were pushed aside apart from one pair. Kiriyama was sitting in it. The sun illuminated the room in a haunting way. Her attention directed itself onto me.

Kiriyama wasn't alone. There was a man, floating beside her. His hair was a pale silver, similar to Astoria, and his eyes were a rose colour. His skin was also pale. You could see the shadows under his eyes. His eyes also wandered over to me. The bottom half of his body was black mist, exactly like Astoria's. That means that Kiriyama is also...

'Well, well, this is unexpected. Yumi, you need to keep on cleaning. But I guess that you should talk to your senpai first. He looks like he has something important to talk about. He also looks ghastly.'

The demon yawns. Kiriyama nods and tries to play it cool.

'Regulus... What do you want?'

The way she responded sounded cold, but I had a feeling that she didn't mean it in that way. I ignored my apology plan and asked Kiriyama something else. Something else important.

'Kiriyama.'

'Y-yes?'

She could probably sense the weight of my words. I pointed directly at the demon. His eyes widened and so did Kiriyama's.

'Are you a Demon Summoner?'

END OF VOLUME 1

VOLUME 1: SUICIDAL DESIRE COMPLETE