After party

The pain I feel inside is nauseating. My head is pounding and my vision is a blur. The last thing I remember is getting a kiss but how did I get on the floor. I got up and staggered to the table. My vision slowly returned and my legs steadied. Coming to this party was a bad decision and I would be shocked if my body is not covered with bruises as it is. I pushed off the table to the wall. If there is one thing that I want to do it is go home. Hands gently touched my waste, I tried to shrug them off. the hands left my body when a man appeared to my right. He put his arm around me for support. I could feel the heat of his arm on my back. I looked at him for a moment. He had blond hair, blue eyes, a gentle smile, and strength. I knew as soon as I let go of the counter it was a mistake. To my surprise I was inches from his mouth. I stumbled over words, "I... I mean hi... hello." He laughed, "Hello, someone is tipsy." I panicked for a moment. Are we not going to the front door?! I tried to stop him but he kept going to where ever we were going. I tried to run, "No!" I fell on the floor and was picked up by him. The same blond hair, blue eyes, and light smile. I must have passed out because the next thing I know I am looking at a mans back. I was outside and he was smoking. I coughed, "That is a bad habit." I shot me a careless smile, "So is drinking yourself out of your wits." I held my knees closer and began to cry. Who are you? Why am I here? What happened? He put out the cigarette and sat down next to me. He smelled of cigarettes and liquor. He smiled, "Why do we all want to die so much?" I frond, "Not all of us want to die. I for one am staying alive." He gave me a curious look, "Why did you drink so much?" I shot back, "Why are you so nosy? I don't know who you are. I don't know what your name is. And you have no right to go accusing me wanting to die." He laughed nervously, "My name is Fred but people call me cut." I laughed, "Why do they call you that?" Cut produced a knife and started to carve into the dirt. He made an eagle and then put dirt over it. I was crying, "That was beautiful." I don't know why I was crying but it might have been the amount of alcohol I had. He wiped my tears away with his hand, "Name?" I looked up, "Call me star." "What is your real name?" He asked questioningly. I laid down, "No." he sighed, "How am I supposed to find you again?" I rolled over, "You won't. Just like a star you have to memorize other stars to find me. Points you don't have and can't draw on a map." He laid down, "I like the mystery but you are in a dangerous game. Especially with me in the game." I kicked him, "Shut up and cuddle with me. You even try to snuggle you won't reproduce." He chuckled, "Stars are supposed to be helpful and kind." I glared, "I gave you a warning and that is as far as it is going to go." He held me firmly, "Deal."