There is always space right next to you

The longer we're away from the compound, the more restless I become. 12 days have passed since we left, and even though our mission is making progress it's nowhere near completed. Okoye and T'Challa have gone undercover, because in the country we're in right now it's easier for them to walk around unnoticed, and Tony is on air patrol together with Carol. This leaves Steve, Bruce and me as the only occupants of the safe house at the moment. Bruce is working on something science-y and the last time I'd seen Steve he was keeping him company. I look at my phone once again, re-reading the text Natasha has sent me yesterday.

"Ivanov is getting worse, she locked me out of her room and won't eat or drink. I'm looking for a way in but don't think she'll get any better until you're here again. Not trying to pressure you but do try to get back home asap, she needs you. Nat xx

PS. Would appreciate it if you didn't tell the others about me breaking the no-contact-on-a-mission-rule"

"понятно (ponyatno / got it)." Had been my reply and I appreciate Natasha breaking the rules for me. The no contact when you're on a mission rule is there to prevent you from getting distracted, but the truth is that I've been distracted since the very moment we left the compound. Not a moment went by without thinking about Lidiya, who I was forced to leave behind so suddenly. I had expected her to get worse again, even if there had been a small part of me hoping otherwise, especially since we didn't even get the chance to prepare her for it. Well, to be honest: to prepare both of us for it. I sit down on the small couch and put my phone away, thinking about Nat's sentence: Looking for a way in. This can only mean that Lidiya has locked Natasha out in a magical way, because I know that otherwise the redhead wouldn't have thought twice about kicking in her door. I let my head rest against the back of the seat and release an exhausted sigh, there are no words to describe how much I regret coming along on this mission. Okay sure, it was important, but so was Lidiya. The rational part of me knows that they do really need me here. We are chasing 2 brothers who have somehow found a way to sniff out people with special powers and immediately take full control of their mind and soul. In the best case scenario it's extremely dangerous, and in the worst case scenario it could create a new civil war between special powered people. But I was upset, scared and worried so there was no need for me to listen to the rational part of my brain. "Are you okay Wanda?" A little startled I look up and see Steve resting against the doorway, examining me. "Sure, just worried about Lidiya that's all. I wish we could go back home." He sends me a soft smile and enters the room. "All of us do, but for all we know Lidiya is doing really well at the moment. Nat is with her after all." Right, can't tell him about the message telling me that Lidiya is doing the opposite of good. "I think you're really overestimating her Rogers." Steve fills a glass with water and drinks it all in one go. "And I think you're underestimating her Wanda." Oh how I wish I could agree with him. A soft "beep" makes both of our attention turn towards Steve's cell phone. His eyes fly over the screen and he says: "Okoye found something, let's go see what she's got."

Slowly I open my eyes, taking the time to let everything that I've just seen sink in. It's quite obvious that I was dreaming, but a small part of me also knows that what I have just seen was not a dream of my own. I look at Wanda, who is lying next to me in a peaceful slumber. After I had finished drowning the both of us in my tears last night, sleep had made my eyes heavy. No matter how hard I had tried, I couldn't press back the yawn that was taking over my face. "You need to get some rest." She had said, but when she got ready to leave the bed and sit on one of those chairs, I had grabbed her t-shirt and had looked at her with the biggest puppy eyes I could master. "Please stay with me." Wanda had looked at me with a confused expression. "I'm not going anywhere Lidiya, I promise. Never again." "Lie down with me." Wanda looked unsure hearing my request. "Are you sure? There is not that much place left in your hospital bed and I don't want to rip out your IV…" But I had made up my mind and I nodded at her. "Yes, please. Lie down with me." Wanda didn't need any more convincing and after a few moments of her rooting around, the both of us had finally found a comfortable spot to fall asleep in. I notice that during our sleep we have locked our legs together, as if our body's wanted to be even closer. I cherish the moment, seeing Wanda asleep like this warms my heart. She's completely relaxed and at peace. Somehow, during our slumber our minds must have connected and I had entered Wanda's dream. It doesn't take long for me to realize that the dream was a memory of when she was on her mission. Even though I had wondered about whether or not Wanda had been thinking about me when she was away, seeing, feeling the amount of worry she had felt during these days is unsettling. There are not enough words, or at least not enough that I know of, to describe how important Wanda Maximoff is to me. I know that I had tried my hardest to fight against the dark while she was gone, but it hadn't been enough and this made me feel guilty. Guilty, because I was the reason that she had been distracted and worried. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but not like this. I don't want to be dependent on her presence for the rest of my life, otherwise she will always worry about me when we're not together. Yes, it's about the way that she feels. That is the reason why I'm thinking these things, not because I'm personally having problems with needing her to be capable of breathing. I want to be close to her, as close as humanly possible, but how can I do this without hurting her again?

I can feel Wanda stir and softly she opens her emerald green eyes. It's the first time that I get to see her wake up to the world, and I can notice that just around her iris the green of her eyes is slightly darker. I wonder if this is something that's only when she wakes up, or if it's something that she always has but that I haven't been capable of seeing before. She smiles at me when she sees me staring. "Dobroye utro krasavitsa (goodmorning beautiful)." She softly whispers and I can't help but blush at her words. "Good morning Wands." She turns on her side, facing me, smiling when she feels the approval go through my body. "How did you sleep?" I ask, not sure about whether or not I should tell her about me entering her dream. "This is the best sleep I have had in weeks, I really missed lying next to you moy devochka (my girl). It's like I need you with me in order to be capable of getting the necessary rest during the night." Some naughty thoughts enter my mind but I push them away, this is not the right time. I'm not sure how long we spend lying together like this before I can hear a knock on the door after which Shuri enters. I remember seeing Shuri as Gregovich and I know how freaked out I was when he, she, entered the room yesterday. I'm embarrassed for my behavior. "Shuri, I'm so sorry for what I did, I…" She puts her hand up to prevent me from finishing my sentence. "There is no need for apologies Lidiya, Wanda told us what happened after she managed to get you knocked out. None of it was your fault and everybody understands. It's us who should be apologizing for not being there more for you. We kind off expected Natasha her friendship to be enough and that was stupid of us. But I mean, it's not like anyone else has ever been besties with the Russian spy so there was no way for us to know how much of a superpower that would be." The last past she says with a joking smile on her face and I can't help but smile back at her. "Thank you Shuri." She walks towards the computer screen while giving Wanda a fake tap on the fingers. "Really? Sleeping in my patient's bed Wanda? Could you please keep that stuff for the honeymoon." Wanda just smirks back at her and leaves the bed. When she sees my disapproving face she chuckles. "I kind of assume that Shuri needs some place to do your check ups, and I think I have already wasted my yellow card today." "Is that a sport metaphor Maximoff?" I look up when I hear Natasha's voice and can see her entering the room. She has the same calm posture that I've come to associate with the spy, but there is an emotion on her face that is a new one: relieved. "You bet Romanoff." Wanda bends down to give me a soft kiss on my cheek. "I'm going to get some breakfast, is it okay if Nat keeps you company for a while?" I nod and smile at her. "Priyatnogo appetita (enjoy your meal)." After giving me a last look Wanda leaves the room and I'm left alone with Natasha and Shuri.