To Forget

I woke up to the sound of music. Country music. My eyes were still blurry but I could see Connor, he was sitting, his eyes on me almost like he was watching me sleep.

"Were you watching me sleep?"

"Would it creep you out if I was?" He replies, the edges of his lips curling, and a lazy smile appears. He rests his chin on his hand and continues to stare. I don't feel creeped out, to be honest.

I wondered why though because finding out someone was watching me sleep should make me feel creeped out right?

What the heck…it doesn't matter.

"Good morning," I say, he chuckles and then walks up to my side and sits right next to my legs. I sit up, ignoring the weird ass pain in my waist, and return his stare.

"What's so funny?" I ask, he shakes his head but seeing that cocky smile on his face I am not convinced.

I ignore him, he was acting like nothing happened yesterday or maybe really…nothing happened and I'm just the one reading meaning to every single thing he does.

Stupid.

I didn't realize till now that I was being stupid…because of him.

Back at the orphanage even the backstabbing never affected me and I experienced it almost every day. Everyone would try to get close to me just to find out what secret I had that made the scientists favor me more than the rest of them and I always told them 'don't give a fucking' they didn't believe me though…fools.

"I think the train will reach King's City by tomorrow, you'll be at your destination in no time" Connor pats my shoulder.

"What are you doing to do in King's City?" I ask, he never really told me why he was going and yet he had already asked me.

He smiles, as usual.

"I'm not going to King's City," he says.

Huh?

"But that's where the train is headed" I deadpan. He laughs and sits closer to me like he couldn't handle our bodies not being an inch away from each other.

"My 'friends' who I had run into the other day wouldn't agree with that" His voice is low, his tone dark but his usual cocky smile on his face. Should I be worried about his mental health? Or mine maybe?

"Why wouldn't they?" I asked, not out of curiosity but because I wanted to hear him speak again, I wanted to identify the emotion behind his voice.

"They want a reunion in King's City and I'm not really interested" here says with a shrug, he's speaking in code I realize. He isn't lying but he isn't telling me the truth either. Connor is a strange man and the thought of going through the rest of this journey without his company was quite bothering.

"So when are you getting down?" I asked, "What makes you think the train will stop for you?"

Two questions at once? The sisters would die of happiness if they could see me now, speaking like I've been paid to do so.

Connor shakes his head, I'm confused by the action. He holds my hand and smirks, his thigh rubs against mine and I feel him close the distance between us.

His face comes closer to mine and I feel his warm breath on my lips. Something tells me to pull away but I ignore it and stay because this proximity makes me feel…my heart pounds loudly in my chest and I struggle to normalize my breathing.

I try to look into his eyes but I notice his gaze is on my lips.

Is he going to kiss me?

Am I going to like it?

His lips move to my ear and I feel the tip of his tongue brush against my earlobe.

It gave me goosebumps all over my body.

"I told you Cara…" he whispers in a breathy voice "I own the train"

A breath leaves my lips and I hear his chuckle by my ear.

"I love the fact that I can get you bothered this way… it feels so exciting…do you feel it, Cara?"

I did.

I didn't say it out loud but I know I did at that moment.

I felt.

"I'll be leaving soon before my 'friends' get here"

Losing his warmth was sudden, he moved away and shifted back a bit. Now we were staring into each other's eyes almost like in a contest just with me trying hard to see what was behind those brown eyes.

There was so much I wanted to uncover.

He was still smiling, it made me wonder if his lips or cheeks ever got tired and began to hurt, he seemed good at hiding it if they did.

"Why don't you want to spend time with your friends?" I think I already knew the answer to that question even though I asked. The bruises on his face that I secretly liked already told me what I needed to know.

Connor was not just a simple man on a train be it whether he really owned the train or not and those people he called his friends are not really his friends but men after him…but for what reason?

Although he does seem like the person to annoy people a lot, Connor doesn't look like he could hurt anyone, that's probably why he got beaten up so badly.

"They're quite…boisterous and you know me, I'm calm"

He sounded playful yet I could detect another emotion behind the tone he used, I nod and don't ask any other questions, we sit in silence. It doesn't make me uncomfortable rather I was grateful for it because it allowed me to think about the fact that I just almost kissed Connor and I desired it.

What is wrong with me?

"Are you hungry?" He asks, I shake my head but don't say a word. I was still thinking, he is the first person that has made me feel so much in such little time. I decided to leave England because I felt that it wasn't for me. After all that has happened in the orphanage till when it was shut down all I wanted was to be like everyone else because I hated the pitiful stares and the cold stares I got from both the scientists and the people that thought they rescued me from being an experiment.

Connor made me feel, and he has now become my new purpose…like a candy wrapper, I wanted to unwrap him, and see what was underneath and I am not expecting to see any sweetness and that was all the more reason I desired to see this mask of his crack.

"I'm coming with you"

I say to him. Forget The Gift, forget being the carrier. Connor is what I want, the real Connor, and I will stop at nothing to get him.