Numb

The next morning was different. I went back to feeling numb. The feeling I dreaded. The first thing I saw once I opened my eyes was Timothy, he was already awake. His hair was wet and he was speaking loudly into his phone, speaking a language I didn't recognize.

It made me curious but I couldn't bring myself to care…no matter how angry he looked, no matter how tightly his fists were clenched.

Ok…maybe I did feel bothered a little bit. I didn't think the man had an angry bone in his body yet here he was so passionate about yelling…it made him look older and more mature.

"You better fucking fix this before I get back, inteso?"

He brought his phone down after that and I could see just how much he was resisting the urge to throw it across the cabin. He was breathing heavily, angry…whoever was on the other line must've done something shitty to get him this riled up.

He raised his head and then all the fire was gone, it was just like yesterday. Once he saw me he smiled got up, walked toward me, and laughed.

"Did I wake you up with all that yelling?"

Huh?

Am I broken?

I couldn't see it…I couldn't see anything, this has never happened before.

"No not really, I woke up all on my own" my voice was raspy, I wasn't even sure why I answered him at that time. He was making me speak so much.

"Would you like to have breakfast with me?" He asks and quite frankly I didn't even realize I was hungry till he asked. I nod, sure I would like to have breakfast with him, maybe his smile which I now realize is a mask would slip and I would see what's beneath.

"Wait for me to take a shower," I tell him, he nods and that stupid smile still on his face was beginning to make me want to know more about him.

Where did that thought come from?

Well, this was what I wanted anyways, I wanted to be interested in something and here he was. Deep down I know I would not last but I wanted to know who this man was and how he could hide his emotions from me…I was created to read people but yet here he was…happy yet his eyes were emotionless and then happy…what the actual fuck.

"They say its rude to stare but I kind of feel flattered being admired by such a beautiful woman"

My brows raise at his words, what a cocky bastard. He chuckles as I avert my gaze, I was lost in thought again…

You need to get your head out of the clouds Caramel, get it out!

After I took a shower, I put on my grey hoodie and the faded blue jeans that my therapist had given me as a gift after I helped her get over her divorce.

Timothy was facing the wall all through, I had learned from my therapist and most of the police officers that getting naked in front of the opposite gender was quite….vulgar or how did they put it?

But to be honest, I grew up getting naked in front of everyone, it didn't make a difference. Every single person at the orphanage didn't know gender all we knew was numbers, grace, and skill. I surpassed all of them, living in the orphanage was child's play for me even when I was a child.

"I'm done," I say to the man facing the wall. I almost felt sorry for him when I saw the shock on his face when I walked out of the bathroom naked. Was it the scars? Or just the nakedness…humans are weird, I am one but still, humans are weird.

"Oh…ok" he sounded flustered but I knew otherwise, who knows if it is just another one of his masks.

When he turned around his eyes took in my appearance and his lips curled. "You look good"

He says in a low voice.

Um…ok?

"Sure, I know," I tell him and open the door of the cabin, he's still sitting staring at me with his eyes slightly widened. Was he expecting a thank you?

"Are you coming?"

"Oh!" He stands "Of course, I am"

He laughs again, puts on a gray jacket that he kept on his seat, and followed behind me.

Closely behind me, I might add. I could almost feel his breath on my neck. When we were almost there he came closer, we were walking side by side and his hand brushed against mine now and then. He was close…and I was not sure why it was bothering me.

"What would you like to have?"

When we arrived at the bar and restaurant, I took a seat at the same place I did yesterday. The place was filled with people unlike last night it was almost empty.

Timothy took a seat as well, opposite me. He didn't seem upset that I didn't give him a reply to the question he had asked me a few minutes ago. As I went through the menu, I stole glances…something I have never done before. I just wanted to check if he would slip up, even once so that I could see what was behind that smile.

"Welcome back ma'am, Good morning sir"

It was Jerry with his polite smile and sad eyes. His mood was even much worse than last night. His lips hid it well yet his eyes told a different story.

Hurt…he was hurt but yet he knows he has a responsibility so here he is working.

I looked at Timothy's smile as he nodded at Jerry and then looked into his eyes….

Nothing…I saw nothing.

"What would you like to have?"

Jerry asks, my eyes scan the breakfast menu, and as Timothy said what he wanted eyes were trained on one thing…coffee. I've never tasted it before, I know what Caffeine feels like but not in the way others do.

"Coffee…" I said in a low voice, I think in a way I expected to be reprimanded by one of the sisters, even though it was not possible I could hear echoes of their scoldings.

Jerry heard, he nods his head and writes it down on his notepad. "Anything else?" He asks I shake my head and then he leaves our table.

"Really? That's all you're having?"