Chapter 64: Regret

Momo looked at Izuku with concern, as the boy just stared at the orb with a dark look on his face.

The silence in the room was suffocating, and Momo was left wondering what exactly the situation was about.

However, after a couple of minutes, Izuku lifted his head and looked at her. "I'm going to take a few Grimm and step out...make sure that no one follows me."

"Um, you haven't fully recovered, is that really a smart thing to do?" Momo asked him.

"I'll be fine," Izuku said, his voice was devoid of any emotion, but his eyes showed an anger and mistrust that she had never seen before. "Don't tell anyone where I went. Especially Eri."

Whatever this was about. It was VERY serious business.

"O-Ok," Momo said.

Izuku turned back to the Seer and spoke to Tsuma. "Wait there...I'll come to you."

XXXXXXXXXX

Tsuma wasn't sure how much longer she could hold her nerves steady.

Being stared at by the beady red eyes of these...things was intimidating even if she was fairly certain they wouldn't hurt her.

And those weird clicking noises that orb was making certainly didn't help matters.

But she'd have to endure it. Otherwise, her whole trip here would be for nothing.

After a few minutes, the circle of Grimm opened up, and Izuku walked towards her, with two Beringels at his sides. One of them carried a round wooden table and the other one carried two chairs.

The glare Izuku leveled at her was fierce, but Tsuma didn't flinch. She had expected as much.

"Place the table down between us, and the chairs on either side," Izuku ordered.

The Grimm did as they were told, arranging the table and chairs for the two of them.

Once that was done, Izuku sat down, his glare never wavering, his eyes locked onto her.

"Sit," Izuku ordered. There was not a hint of politeness or hospitality. His tone was cold and harsh and left no room for argument.

So she didn't argue. Tsuma simply sat down in the chair opposite to Izuku, trying her best to ignore the nightmare monsters surrounding them.

"You must be the Caretaker then," Tsuma said, trying not to show fear, and mostly succeeding, although Izuku could still hear a bit of a falter in her voice. "Judging from my welcome I think it's safe to say you know who I am, and...what I've done."

"...Yes. But what I want to know is what exactly you're doing here," Izuku said, his voice was calm, but there was an easily detectable fury behind it.

"Straight down to business then." Tsuma sighed, taking a deep breath before she explained herself. "I wanted to...ask about Eri...how she's been if...if she's...if she's happy here?"

"I'm curious as to why you think that's any of your business," Izuku responded, the fury in his voice becoming less and less restrained. "Considering you abandoned her, saying you wanted nothing to do with her whatsoever, all while calling her a monster. I'll need you to explain why you would say all that, only for you to come here, on my property, and suddenly ask how she's doing."

Tsuma recoiled at that statement, looking as if Izuku's words had sunk into her like daggers. "I...I'm sorry."

There was a long pause between them as Izuku's expression shifted from cold fury to boiling anger.

"You're sorry?" Izuku repeated. "You abandoned your daughter, gave them to your Yakuza leader father, called her a monster, and inflicted years of physiological trauma on her, that to this very day I am trying to fix and your response is that you're sorry!?"

"What else can I say?!" Tsuma started tearing up. "Hai, my husband. He...he was a doctor. We met a while back. Back in high school...back when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. My father was...heavily encouraging me to work for him...to become the next head of the Yakuza. I never really wanted to but...what else was I going to do...and then one day...I met him. I'd done something...beyond stupid and broke my legs...Hai showed up and he did what he could before the ambulance got there. It wasn't just patching up my legs either. He...stayed with me and...he talked...a lot. At the time I thought it was kind of annoying but once everything was said and done, I was glad someone was there to keep my mind off the pain. After that we kept in touch and...well I decided to go med-school with him. And our relationship kept going from there until...until one day he proposed. Hai was...he was...he was the light of my life. Without him, I would have just been another criminal. He was my everything...and then one day...while he was playing with Eri...he just...he just died."

Tears were flowing down the woman's face, as she tried not to sob in front of him. All while Izuku's expression remained cold.

"I-I-I was angry, and-and scared. That I...I did what I did." Tsuma continued.

"And so you think that justifies anything? That it makes it ok to call your daughter a monster? To say that her quirk was a curse? To blame her for the death of her own FATHER, when you knew very well it was an accident?!" Izuku shouted. "I understand maybe not wanting to raise her anymore after that. Giving her to an orphanage, or maybe a family member that wasn't the head of the YAKUZA! But you hurt her! Hurt her in one of the worst ways a parent could! When I found her, she was so confused as to why anyone would want to help her, would want to care for her, to show her affection! Because she thought she was a monster! That didn't deserve to be loved! And you think any of what you just said makes that right!?"

"NO!" Tsuma sobbed. "No, it doesn't! I know that! I've known that for years! Everything I did back then, even...even after Hai's death...it's inexcusable...When...when I got home after I...after I gave Eri away...I sat there in my empty house, surrounded by pictures of my husband, and my daughter...and after the rage subsided I kept looking at those pictures...her face and hair so much like mine...but she gets her kind eyes from her father...she was my daughter...and I...I gave her away...I-I gave away the last piece of Hai I had left."

Izuku took a moment to look past his own anger at the woman who left Eri behind all those years ago and took a good look at the woman in front of him now.

The word that came to mind was pathetic.

If he looked closer he could see the signs of despair, beyond just the sobbing. Her hair for one was a tangled mess, that looked like it hadn't been kept in years. Her clothes were wrinkled and ruffled as if she had been using them over and over again.

Her baggy eyes were red. At first, he thought that was just because she was Eri's mother, but if he looked closer he could see that they were bloodshot.

And she was thin. Very, very thin. Like she hadn't been eating.

Lastly, he could faintly smell alcohol coming off her. Implying she was a heavy drinker.

Either this was a very elaborate ruse, or she had genuinely been living in pure despair ever since she gave up Eri.

Internally, Izuku's resolve softened. But only a bit. And he kept his guard up. Not letting any bit of pity show on his face.

"I...I tried to take her back after I realized what I did. But it was too late." Tsuma sniffled. "My father already deemed me an unworthy parent. And refused to even see me, or take my calls. I couldn't get her back."

"And is that why you're here?" Izuku asked her harshly. "To get Eri back?"

"...Is Eri happy here? Are you taking care of her well?" Tsuma asked him once more.

Izuku paused for a moment, thinking about his next actions, before he took out his phone, did a few things, and slid it over to Tsuma.

Tsuma took the phone and saw that on it was a picture of Eri playing a video game with Kei and Kioku. Looking very into it, while also having a good time.

"Eri," Tsuma whispered, tearfully. She handled the phone very carefully as if it were Eri herself.

"Keep scrolling right," Izuku told her.

Tsuma hesitated for a moment before she lifted her finger and scrolled right.

The picture changed, now it was of Eri learning how to swim, with her inflatable unicorn floaties, helping keep her above water.

After that was a picture of her trying apple pie for the first time, as she looked like her eyes were about to explode out of her head with how wide they got. She was literally crying with how much she loved it.

Next was a picture of Eri working in the greenhouse to grow an apple tree.

Tsuma kept flipping through the photos of Eri. Dozens, and dozens of photos, of Eri being active, playing with friends, trying new things...enjoying her life.

When she arrived at the last one, it was the picture from the amusement park where they were all together.

Eri was surrounded by friends and family. Smiling, and happy.

Tsuma was sobbing quietly while she took in everything she just saw, and emotions bubbled up and exploded inside of her.

Joy that her daughter was living happily.

Envy at the fact that she had a part in none of that.

Angry knowing that it was all her fault that she didn't get these moments with Eri.

And despair, knowing she never would.

After a few minutes of crying. Tsuma, very slowly, put the phone down and slid it back over to Izuku.

"Well at...at least" Tsuma had to take a moment to compose herself after that, before putting on an extremely forced smile. "At least she's happy now."

"I'm doing the best I can," Izuku said, for the first time in the conversation, not sounding so angry. "There's still a lot of trauma leftover from what Overhaul did to-"

"Overhaul?" Tsuma asked.

Izuku froze, as he realized that he accidentally said something he didn't want to say.

"Overhaul that's...that's the Kai choice right?" Tsuma said. "Kai took over the Yakuza after my father fell sick. Are you...saying he did something to her?"

Izuku held his breath. As he tried to figure out what to say. "That's...yes. I'll be honest with you. Yes, he did. But, you don't want to know."

"W-What do you mean I don't want to know?" Tsuma asked sharply, for the first time actually looking a bit angry. "What did he do to my daughter!?"

"I'm not telling you for your own protection." Izuku snapped. "YOU were the one who gave your daughter to the crime lord in the first place. Family or not, you should know it's not safe. So even if you didn't know what was going to happen to her there, you're still partially at fault for it. And considering what he did and how you are now...I really, really don't think you want to know what happened to her."

Tsuma backed down for a moment, taking a moment to ponder what Izuku had said.

After taking a few minutes to think, she looked back at Izuku, with a determined look that Izuku did NOT like.

"I...You don't owe me anything. I don't have the right to ask you for anything." Tsuma told him. "But please. I'm begging you. Tell me what he did to her. I don't think...I don't think I'll be able to live with myself. I'm just wondering about it in the back of my mind for the rest of my life. Please."

Izuku grit his teeth so hard he swore they might crack.

After a few moments of consideration, Izuku gave in.

"Fine," Izuku said. "But I need you to make me a promise."

"...Anything," Tsuma replied.

"Don't kill yourself," Izuku told her, his voice deadly serious.

"Wh-what!?" Tsuma was completely taken aback by that request, her eyes widening in shock. "Why would I...Oh god...is it really that bad?"

"I'm not going to sugarcoat this. Yes. It is THAT bad." Izuku empathized. "If I'm going to tell you what Kai Chisaki did to Eri, then I need to know that I'm not about to commit a murder. Do you REALLY want to know what happened?"

"...At this point. I need to," Tsuma said solemnly. "And, I promise. I won't kill myself."

The two stared at each other for a while, before Izuku sighed. "Alright. Prepare yourself...this isn't going to be easy."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Tsuma screamed as she sobbed into the table, hysterically crying as she had been for quite some time now.

Izuku watched this pitiful display with a pained look. He still didn't like the woman in the slightest, and in a way, this was still her fault, but he knew that she had never meant for this to happen, and in the end, he still hated to see people suffer.

He'd told her almost everything. Pretty much everything he could tell her. Of course, he didn't tell her about the quirk erasing bullets.

But he'd told her all the horrors Overhaul inflicted upon her. Both physically and mentally. All of which she technically had a hand in making possible.

And he watched her break in front of his eyes.

It reminded him of watching someone drown. You just looked at them suffer, as the color faded from their face, and light left their eyes.

Eventually, it dissolved into sobbing, and by the end of the story she ended up like this.

And so now he just sat there and...watched. Watching for minutes on end as the woman sobbed uncontrollably.

It took almost an hour for her to calm down. As she seemingly ran out of tears, and now was left with saddened, regretful eyes.

A pitiful sight.

"I...I'm a monster...I...I...Eri...oh god Eri." Tsuma buried her head into the table. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

It was then Izuku wondered exactly what he should say here.

Because honestly at this point the woman was looking so pathetic that Izuku pitied her more than he hated her. He still obviously resented her, but the edge of his anger had been dulled.

But how should he handle this?

He couldn't just wave it off saying that "it was ok" or "you didn't know, it wasn't your fault." Because it wasn't ok, and it was about a quarter her fault.

Should he say she should try to make up for it? That seemed like the better answer, and it would give her a reason to not end her own life when this was over. But how?

He wasn't letting her near Eri. That was for certain.

Because as much as pitied this woman, it wasn't worth the psychological trauma it caused Eri to see her, just so that way she could try and make right the wrongs of the past.

So what could she do?

The two of them sat there, in silence for a good few minutes.

Until eventually, Izuku spoke up.

"This isn't going to change anything." He told her. "This won't undo the damage done to Eri's mind. Crying and apologizing, won't fix anything. If you're really sorry, then you'll have to do something to try and work towards making her life better."

The woman looked up at him, a spark of life in her eyes, as she took in Izuku's words, and felt something close to hope.

"Yes! Yes, I'll-I'll do anything! I own a hospital, it was my husband's before he...before he died. I have lots of money that I've just been sitting on. I have resources! I can-I can pay for Eri's expenses! Or-Or anything! I have people who owe me favors! Anything! Anything you need!" The woman said desperately like she was begging for her life.

Izuku took a deep breath once more, as he prepared himself for the rest of this conversation. "Ok. If we're going to do this then let's establish some rules. Firstly, you can't come around here or have direct contact with Eri. I'm sure you can understand why seeing you again wouldn't be healthy for her right now."

Tsuma winced and bowed her head. "I-I understand."

"Good. Second, you WILL be paying for Eri's monthly expenses. This includes food, shelter, education, therapy, and the likes. I'll be sending an extensive contract your way in the next few days, listing the details." Izuku told her. "Third, you're going to seek help. I know where this kind of depression can lead, and just looking at you tells me if I don't intervene you'll be dead before the end of the year, promise be damned. You have no use for Eri dead, and god forbid she finds about it, and she blames herself for YOUR death."

The woman's eyes widened in horror, before looking down at herself, seeing how much of a wreck she was, and how little she had taken care of herself these past few years. "...Yes. I understand."

"Lastly, you own hospitals, right? That means you have access to top-of-the-line medical supplies? Right?" Izuku asked her, receiving a frantic nod from the woman. "Good. I'll need some of those as well."

"Yes, yes of course." Tsuma agreed.

"And that's all for now," Izuku told her. "If I need anything else, I'll call you."

"I understand, here." Tsuma took a business card out of her purse and handed it to Izuku. "That has my phone number on it...Eri...Eri isn't going to find out about any of this...is she?"

"...No. Not yet." Izuku decided. "She's too young. And the trauma is still too fresh. She needs years of counseling and therapy...but after that…I'll tell her about this arrangement, after all, she deserves to know...and once I do. What she does with that information will be up to her. If she wants to forgive you and reach out, form some sort of relationship, then I won't stop her, I will be watching VERY closely, but unless you do anything stupid, I won't intervene...but...if she decides not to forgive you, and to never see you again. You must respect that decision. Am I understood?"

Tsuma paused, looking at the ground for a minute, before speaking in a very hushed voice. "Yes. I understand."

"...Very well. Then I believe we're done here." Izuku stood up, snapping his fingers so the Grimm would collect the table and chairs. "You should get going before anyone sees you. The Grimm will escort you off the premises."

Tsuma stood up and bowed. "Thank you. Thank you so much for...everything. Not just taking care of Eri but...you've been kinder to me than I deserve. I owe you more than I could ever repay."

"I'm just doing what I think is right," Izuku said. "And honestly, I can't bring myself to kick someone who's already down. Even someone like you."

As Tsuma stood to leave, she said one last thing to Izuku. "I'm glad that Eri ended up in the care of someone so kind...I know you raise her better than I ever could."

And with that the woman promptly walked away, escorted by a small pack of Beowulfs.

After she was out of sight, Izuku collapsed to his knees, and let out all the air he'd been holding in.

He felt so tired. That had been so exhausting on him emotionally, and it hadn't gone anything like how he expected.

Izuku didn't know WHAT he was expecting, but it wasn't this.

He wanted to stay angry and upset with Eri's mother for what she did, but the woman had clearly been suffering a fate that in Izuku's opinion was worse than death. Having gone through a terrible tragedy, and made even more tragic by her own poor decisions. And now left with nothing but regret and anguish, she just had to live the rest of her life like that.

Sure it was her own fault, but did she deserve to suffer like that!? Did anyone deserve to suffer like that?

Maybe? But it didn't feel right. At least not to Izuku.

What would her suffering fix? What did anyone stand to gain from her pain?

Nothing. It didn't help anyone. Not Izuku, definitely not Tsuma, and not Eri.

Oh lord, Eri. Izuku realized that he was inevitably going to have to have a conversation with her, about this.

He wasn't even mentally prepared enough to think about that.

Izuku recalled his earlier words. That if Eri wanted to build a relationship with her of some sort, then he would let her. And he felt tightening in his chest.

He didn't want to tell her. He didn't want to let her see that woman ever again.

But Eri deserved to know. And she deserved to have a choice.

As Izuku pulled himself to his feet, he looked up from the ground.

And into the beady red eyes of Yami.