Chapter 14 - For The First Time

I kissed her on the other side of the cheek, "Good Morning, Momma,"

"Morning my dear," she said, instead and kiss me on the side cheek.

Ah, I just saw her once. Does she go home last night, or does she just get home from work?

"Momma where have you been last night?" I curiously asked her.

She smiled. "Somewhere, my dear, why?"

I just shook my head, and I've no intention of following the initial question. Looks like I know the answer already, Momma's always the same, which isn't new.

"Let's eat." she said, sitting in front of the dining table first, and then i followed.

I apparently didn't have any intention of eating. As I was still full of what we ate last night probably, during my first experience, I really didn't expect it to come on that way, the new type that will either choke myself with the amount of food I ate.

My friend was really competitive last night, she didn't want to lose.

Maybe I was wrong to deal to what she wanted, I knew that it was going to happen, if I just knew I was going to lose again, I stopped quickly.

"Where's your sister?" Momma asked instantly as she ate.

I shrugged.

She lifted her eyebrow, "You really don't get along with your sister?"

I pursed my lips, "We're all right Momma, we're talking about the situation.... uh, just once, but we're both all right," I lied.

Sorry Momma, I really don't want you to think about us. I know this is going to be resolved instantly, one between the two of us.

Momma was calling Yaya Ryzie. She said she wanted the three of us to eat at the same time, such that my sister was still asleep.

"Where is she?"

"Ah... ma'am... she was still asleep--she said she was going to eat later," then she looked at me.

I just went there, it is indeed mine fault, I presume.

"Is it that reason?" Yaya Ryzie nodded to her.

We ate first, even though I was full, I had been trying to take the food served in front of me, these were wrong to deny the blessing of God, said Aling Rosa when I was a kid.

"You'll come with me this Saturday, by the way," said Momma.

I was surprised at her.

'What?'

"Didn't I mention before that I'm going to show you what you've been essentially asking, or otherwise I thought it was time so that you can know,"

Suddenly, I remembered what I've always asked him to do the most, that I've never thought deeply since I've had a friend. I got worried about just what Momma knew, I began to feel as I wouldn't like anything I'll know.

I refused immediately, "Uh... Momma, it's all right even if you don't say it, uh... I don't think so much anymore about it..." I bit my lower lip, all of that are true.

"Are you sure of that, hija?" the astonishment in her voice might have been noticed.

I nodded with a big smile on my face.

I'm scared yet nervous to find out the truth, so maybe I'm trying to prolong discovering out the whole thing initially, I'm fine seriously, but also it helped massively that I had a friend I didn't expect since, because most of the residents here are my sister's friends, except that Carla doesn't originally came from here. That was all nice, because she was also the justification why I lost interest in that thing.

I secretly shrugged, 'This may not be the right time for me to know what's behind it,'

"Are you sure about this?" I nod at her. "If you say so... well... uh... that's great!" she forced a smile.

Maybe?

"You have a dare, right?"

I shyly smile, "Huh? Dare? What's that?" ok, I pretend.

It's argh!

I'm not only supposed to agree with her, it seems unsafe through her hands, my ghad!

She brought her face close to mine, I was pulled back until I could feel the back of the sofa.

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me, "Don't pretend to be on it, you're aware of it!" she plopped my forehead unexpectedly.

"It hurts!" I just grabbed the forehead, she's serious about—what she thinks of my forehead a plywood?

"Let's do what I dare you do, remember you have a two dare," she began to wiggle her eyebrows.

I just left her placing her hands on her hips in front of me, "Next time, let's just watch a movie first," I divert, I didn't really want to do so, and I wasn't prepared.

"Grrr... your deception!"

Carla informed me about her cousin—I forgot his name.

"He said he was coming here later, he also said that he was going to pick me up since we were leaving," she explained.

I was jealous, it was easier for her to go somewhere while I was alone. I mean, she could go out and have fun while I'm having fun home.

I smiled at her, "It's great, then."

How does it feel to leave with the whole family and take a trip to the place where there's a beautiful view.

Sadness envelops my emotions again, since I just want to experience what they usually do.

Is it wrong for me to say no to what Momma said earlier? Or maybe I'm just not ready for something.

Honestly, when Momma said that I instantly felt relieved, since I'm finally starting to understand what it's something I've been waiting to know for a long time. But I also instantly felt the fear in my chest, as if it were a sign that I wouldn't like what I'll discovered.

I wish there's no fear in me.

"Do you want to come with us?" I suddenly wince at her, the thought of it registered on my mind that Momma won't allow me to, "You know that Momma would not allow me to go outside the house," I really lost hope. 

She shrugged, "You know, we're just going to attempt about whether or not it will agree," whispered the last word.

"I just don't have any more hope, so don't bother,"

"But maybe we should be going to try? Possibly your Momma's mind has changed... it's just night, so it wont take us too long, uh... let's say you should go home about 8:00 p.m.," she stated.

I just got blown the air.

"You take care of your life, as long as I know she won't allow it to happen, and why? I don't know either." I replied with my own words.

In a few years, that I'm living, I already know which part of Momma isn't expecting to be able rather than not going to be possible. Not until all my demands as well as suggestions were approved, although sometimes I get mad, but I don't want to make it so it's better to understand.

Without saying a word she unexpectedly pulled my hand, "Let's go while she hasn't left yet," hurriedly pulled me up.

I can't stop her as she's walking too fast, why is this woman in a rush.

It was only then that she stopped pulling when we got to Momma's room--in front of it, "I'm the one knocking for you," and she did.

Indeed, confidence, the power of belief.

She knocked again until Momma opened the door for us.

We were amazed to what she was wearing--my Momma is really beautiful--and she seemed to leave, "Why.. hija's?" astonishment plastered on her face.

No one even spoke, Carla kicked me, and I secretly look at her with wonder.

"Tell her about it," she whispered.

I looked at her in surprise, "I wonder why....I thought you were the one who will say about it, the fact that you were the one who suggested and bring me here," I whispered back, widened my eyes at her.

This crazy woman, I already told her but she didn't even take it.

Why me, huh? She's the one who brought me here, so she's got to say what she wanted to.

She hesitated to look at Momma, "Uh...ah...Momma Mich...u-uh..be-ecause... becau-use of," she kicked me again, I kicked her back.

I already told her that Momma will only say "You're now allowed,"

I don't really get it.

"If you could allow Stacia to come with me tonight, we'd just go for walk with my cousin," she said bluntly, my eyes widened in shock.

Is she a kind of rapper?

"What?" Momma said confusedly.

Carla sighed heavily, "If only you could let her come with me tonight," now it's gentle.

One's look on Momma's face it changed, I knew it, I already knew--

"Of course,"

Huh, huh? What did she mean about that? Was I heard it right? Or I just misheard it, did Momma truly agree with what Carla just said?

Suddenly, my jaw has dropped.

"Momma?" wait a minute, I need confirmation.

"I'm going to let Stacia come with you..." she paused, "But I don't want her to stay overnight, and it's even more not allowed to catch her early in the morning,"

"Really Momma Mich?" the enthusiasm in her voice can be heard. She didn't expect, me neither.

I hugged Momma, in all that happened to me, only just now was I feel so happy about and I don't want to end this feeling.

A tear stung on my eyes, I am so happy, I feel contented, "Thank you Momma, thank you," I'm really grateful.

I never wish for anything else, however this thing this is so truly grateful and unforeseen.