Chapter 17 : Lost Weakly and Shaken Together

**SARAWAT's POV (point of view)**

"I'm done flirting with you. Will you be my boyfriend?"

Tine seems to be in shock. I pictured him like a frozen penguin. I did not blink at all when his eyes were staring at mine. Probably because he did not know if he should turn his head and look at anyone after that.

Man and my other friends are still standing there, smiling at the bottom of their hearts. After I saw them, I wanted to punch them in their faces and walk away. What did you just do? Don't ask me because you just made Tine look like a fool. "Let's go off stage."

"...". That's fine if you can't answer yet. I held both of his hands to help him stand up from where he is sitting. I did not expect any answer; whether it's positive or negative, because getting out of this situation as fast as possible is the best thing to do.

Sometimes, I only think about my feelings and disregard others. Just like what happened moments ago.

But hey! It is still cool. Those bad guys are good in real life. They just have bad ideas sometimes.

"Where are you guys going?"

"Sarawat!"

"Don't just go down without answering! What the heck!" My friends are shouting loudly, especially Man, who looks more emotional than anyone else. We ran back stage in the midst of the shrieking screams. My gang followed us.

"Don't say anything." I told Tine.

"I did not want to say anything. I am just... shocked." He finally spoke but his eyes didn't look cute anymore. I don't like this. He looked desperate and provocative.

"Sarawat, you spoiled the moment!" Man rushed into the conversation between me and Tine. The atmosphere became calm again when the people on stage spoke a sentence through the mic:

"Oh! And that is a surprise performance from our guitar boy. Please give him a round of applause."

"Ohhhhh. Was that just an act? You fooled us!" The audience shouted in fright. The cheers and applause was way louder than the previous performances. They all thought what happened was just a scripted scene.

The chaos ended then. In a few minutes, there was another performance and people drew their attention to them.

I do not know how long my friends planned this. I do not know how they prepared for this secretly. All I know is that I told them that Tine will play a song and I will be teaching him for a whole week. I hope they did not give up football training because of this messed up plan.

"What's wrong with you? Who said it was just an act?" Man asked me.

"Well, it is good that he misunderstood it."

"What is your deal? I just helped you if you look at it completely."

"Don't think too much."

"Won't bother at all anymore. I'm tired of giving you chances."

"..."

"What's up, Tine? Is the heart now working normally?"

"..." The name owner looks up to Man, my bastard friend, but he did not give any answer as usual.

"Sit down and take a rest. Thank you so much for earlier. I will manage the rest."

"I'll have to go and clear it with P'Jom first. Where did you get your confidence in that performance?" I can only look at my friend's wide back without saying anything.

Leading everyone to think that what happened is just an act is a natural matter especially for this kind of show. Each group has their own performance and P'Jom would not be so smart to point out that what happened is a real love confession.

But my mind wondered... Did I really just miss my chance?

"Is that real or is it acting?" Tine composed for a moment before asking those words to me.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know."

"Umm... It was just a performance." What the hell? I'm not really sure about myself this time. I am afraid that he will overthink that's why I refuse to say the truth. Does he really like me or not? Should I take some more time?

"Oh, I am totally shocked. I'm like.... I can't breath all over my lungs." Tine said who sighed with relief followed by a natural smile.

The Tine that I want finally came back to his senses.

"Are you really happy that I did not ask you to be my lover?"

"I don't know."

"Okay."

"Damn! Don't you know it yourself already?"

"I don't think too much."

"Then don't bother with my head!" He swept my hand quickly. He took out his phone from his pocket, scrolling down to read a post before saying something.

"Your wives are now talking about me." He talked after five minutes of checking his phone.

"About what?"

"They are happy that you don't really like me. My post on IG saying that I like you is now being tied up with today's surprise act." I couldn't read his eyes but his voice that captured my heart had a feeling of despair in it.

"It's good so you don't have to be tired of answering other people's questions."

"Umm!"

"So why are you making an upset voice?"

"Who is upset? I am not upset. Besides, I will feel more comfortable now", but his face is doing the opposite. I feel very happy when I'm provoking him. This small pleasure surely completes my day.

"It is a peace of mind for you. Now, let's go hand out the leaflets and the application forms."

"Sure." Tine stood up, walked to the side of the stage where the seniors and the club members gathered. Of course, the White Lion gang is also there helping.

"Can I help you?" I asked the second year student. He then submitted an application form to me. Tine is setting up a new table on the other side of the stage to make organizing activities easier due to today's number of applicants.

Tine walked behind me, not far away before giving details and distributing application forms for those interested. I can say that the Music Festival received a greater amount of attention than expected.

"I was shocked because of Sarawat. That act of asking someone to be his lover from the band was so surprising."

"Yes." In addition to receiving the application form, some are still surprised about the performance of the guitar class. Despite the fact that it is not just an act after all.

"Sarawat, I want to form a band with you. When can I submit the application form?" A senior with a steadily beautiful face walked in to inquire.

"You can submit it starting today until the end of next month."

"During competitions, will we be competing?"

"Better if we're friends."

"Let's see each other sometimes."

While submitting her application form, she gave me a smile. But the memory recorded to my brain and remembered by my heart was the terrifying gaze from Tine behind.

"What is that look, little buffalo?"

"Why?"

"She is just asking. That's all."

"Did I ask?" I can only nod. Though in my heart, I am laughing madly. Did you know that making him angry can be a small-scale achievement that I aim for? When he is angry, he will bend his face and it is really cute.

He has sparkling eyes, white skin, nice hair, and his lips are so kissable. I really want to know if he is the standard of being handsome.

"Nong, please get some more application form." I turned quickly to the sound source. It turned out that there is someone bugging Tine. Asking for an application form without asking for details.

"I want a form from Sarawat's hand. Can you do that to us?"

"I think you are loud and arrogant that's why you choose to act up."

"You can do it badly too."

Those various tones and voices from people who just approached Tine fired me up. Because I am a nuisance, I personally handed him the application form he requested. I can clearly remember these people. They are the people who attacked me. Now, it all makes sense why they need an application form from me.

"This year, I am looking forward to seeing you. Want to know how good this club is." A dark-skinned man whom I don't even know the name heavily slapped me on my shoulder while smiling. But we all know that this is not a friendly smile.

"What do you want?" I asked him so he can leave now.

"I just want to know the details of the application. Can you explain it to me?"

"There will be two rounds of competition.. "

"You know what, I'm not comfortable listening here. But I will be very glad if you hurry to follow me to the men's bathroom next to the building."

"Not convenient."

"I won't hurt your face and your popularity. Do not be afraid." What's the connection of your deal to this popularity? And what the hell is that look?

And if that's so, is this many versus one? I don't give a damn if you are seniors but my patience is running out. At this moment, I would like to give my best to take revenge. I can't take it anymore.

"Tine, I need to go somewhere." I hurried so I could clear everything.

"Where are you going?"

"Pee."

"Don't hold it back then." The seniors walked away and looked at my face as expected. Man and Boss saw what happened.

Since they can't solve their own personal issues, I have to give them a well-known sight that should make them feel afraid. However, the major problem is not within my gang or this gang...

"May I go with you? I need to pee as well." Tine said while holding my hand and not letting go.

"Can't you hold it any longer?"

"Nope."

"Then go over there." I said it while pointing my finger to the other side of the building, opposite of the battlefield.

"Sarawat."

"Don't be stubborn. Your stubbornness is embarrassing me."

"Okay. I'll hold it back. Just please don't die." I really don't want anything bad to happen and I don't want him to suffer because of me. I don't know how Tine will interpret my previous sentence. He let go of my hand and continued distributing the application form. I can feel that he is really worried about me.

I don't want you to worry but... I'm sorry, my wife...

But let it be! I must hurry to solve the issue that lies ahead. After following the big group of seniors, the atmosphere is a bit uncomfortable. The whole area is quiet because nobody is using the bathroom and nobody is inside except them. As soon as I walked in, they closed the main door of the restroom.

"I called you because I want to say that you should be careful with your actions."

"Why? Are you threatened?"

"I am not threatened. I just want to let you know."

"Honestly, what did I do to make you upset this much? As far as I can remember, we don't know each other." We met twice but I don't know what their deal is. I might be stupid enough to walk here. But I came here not to have some more wounds, but to find answers.

"Are you really not aware?"

"Tell me. I came to know." I couldn't control my emotions.

A senior then dashed in front of me and punched me in the face,

"How should I say this... At first, there was no reason why I dislike you. But now, I think there are more reasons why I hate you. Don't you remember what you did that made someone upset?"

I stood still, trying to think of all the events in my head. But I really can't think of anything right now.

"Mil", the name of the third person who was not in the incident was mentioned. I looked at the seniors and found out that they were wearing architecture uniform.

"Now you know. Tell me, what are your excuses? You might be able to survive from my kicks in the future."

"..." I refused to answer anything.

"The first time, you ask your friend to find Mil."

Where should I start to think of the story about P'Mil? It started at the party club wherein me and Tine fought because he asked for Tine's number and took a selfie with him. I asked Man to help me figure who that guy is. And then that's it. I don't see a problem with that.

And how did it all come to this point now? I am really confused. "Second time..." the same senior is still talking. "At the coffee shop."

"I just brushed off his hand."

"So you still remember?" I just brushed off his hand when I saw him flirting with Tine! Plus, we were not in good condition that time because of Earn. I just brushed off his hand, I did not kill that senior.

"My friend is busy talking with the one he likes that time." So this is where it all started. I now understand that P'Mil likes Tine. On my defense, I just chose to protect Tine. Now, I am ready to shut down the engine of where it all started. "I don't care."

"I don't care either." Until I heard someone...

"Sarawat..." That voice. Fuck!

Tine and the White Lion gang opened the door but I am not interested in the other people. I am only interested in the person who called my name, afraid that he will be upset because I acted so bad this time.

"Why are you here?"

"I can't find you so I asked Man to take me here." At the end of the sentence, I suddenly turned towards Man. He shrugged, pretending to be unaware. But we all know that I can't punish this stupid bastard.

"Did you call these guys?" One of the seniors asked with a trumpeting tone while looking at my face.

"Won't make any difference."

"You like him?" He pouted his lips and pointed his hand to Tine.

"..."

"You must like him very much, huh. Be careful, we now have the advantage." "Why are you competing after me? I am not a prize." At the split second, I saw Tine's body leaping at the seniors in front of him throwing punches at them.

Then the battle began. I kept on checking Tine while punching some seniors. After Tine started, my gang joined me trying to isolate the chaos from this wild situation.

Then I saw Tine's body fall in front of me...

It was the time when the whole world stopped spinning.

The feeling of all the accumulated emotions started to erupt.

How could you hurt Tine... my exception to everything.

"You!!!" I swinged a heavy punch to the face of that person who caused Tine to fall on the floor. My brain is desolated right now. I can't think of anything other than punching him hard on the face. Someone is kicking me off but I don't care. I won't stop punching him and won't give him a chance to get up again.

"Do not watch!!!" I shouted at Tine who was so shocked.

"..."

"Sarawat, get off now. I'll handle him." The ruthless sound of Man broke. I was pushed in by my friends to get off that senior. The bathroom is now full of chaos. Tine stood amidst the kicks and punches on both sides. It did not take long for me to reach his side and deal with all these problems surrounding him.

It took an hour to finish this mess and it can be said that no peace was done on both parties. The seniors moved quickly because they needed to rush their friend to the nearest hospital. No need to ask... it was the person who made Tine fall on the floor.

My friends also have bruises... black and green, but not as much as the seniors. As for Tine, his face is swollen, bruised, and looks very pathetic. I feel like he was stung by a bee.

But why did he come to this bathroom in this damn moment?

When we stepped out of the bathroom supporting each other, his body was shaking. Until I heard a sobbing sound that made my heart break. I want to comfort him. I want to hug him. But after hearing the reason why, I let go of my arm.

"Oh my... my face is broken. I am dead! I am ugly!"

"Your body is hurt yet you still worry about your face."

"Well, they could at least punch somewhere else!"

"Then let them know next time." And after that, all I heard were murmurs until my ears went almost numb.

~

When we arrived in my dorm, Tine sat cross-legged on the bed. As for me, I searched online if I should take him to a doctor because his eyes are swelling due to crying all the way back here.

"I want a mirror."

"Don't look at your face. You will cry harder." He prepared another round of mouths. His condition now is making me more emotional. I wished I stomped on that senior until his prominent nose would be broken. "Don't use alcohol."

"Do you want your wound to heal or you will just cry non-stop?"

"I shouldn't have helped you back there!"

"It already happened. Now, look up."

"Damn my face is broken."

"Stop crying and stop complaining."

Tine is a terrifying creature especially when crying. I hurriedly grasp his chin up so I can easily apply the medicine to his face. But do you know what I got?

Heart palpitations... Especially when I looked at his shaking eyes.... He is so damn cute. So fucking cute! It drives me crazy!!

The wise words of Man suddenly came to my mind. 'You must know what you want. Do you want to touch him? Think of what your heart really wants.' Now, I was unable to control my feelings. I am now deciphering that advice from Man.

I always asked for recommendations because I don't know a thing about flirting. In the end, it is not always effective.

"Tine"

"What? A big wound? Just add betadine. Do not let it get into my mouth as well because I might swallow it accidentally."

"Tine.. "

"What?"

"Let me touch your boobs." At least I ask first. Good luck to me.

"Do you think that's funny?"

"Can I touch it?"

"Fuck off. Let me go. You don't have to touch my chin now." In the end, I did not touch his boobs, so as his chin. I want to kill Man now.

Now, I am just watching Tine apply the medicine to his wound silently. There are some glances at me but I am scared of him now so I refused to say anything. After applying, he threw the first aid kit to me.

"Do it."

"I don't have any wounds." My face did not break. Just some punches on my faces.

"Your hand."

"..."

"Your hand has bruises. Hurry and apply some medications!" I looked down at my hands. There is no wound on the left side, not even a scratch. The right side is different. The ridge of my hand is broken and bleeding. I did not feel it at first but when it was greeted, it immediately hurt like hell.

"Please do it for me. My left hand is no good." I tried to convince him to help me. I checked his eyes for a moment if he would allow me then I sat near him. He took the first aid kit without saying a word.

This for me is like a dream that came true... Then I remembered the first time I saw him...

I met Tine for the first time at the Scrubb event at Silpakorn. I did not know anything about him at that time. He simply just caught my eye. They said that it was the first impression that gives us spark even when the person is not doing anything at all. He was with his friends and they were dancing so badly. At that time, I smiled. I rarely smile because of a person. Maybe because he looked so foolish, or maybe because I felt something in my heart.

When the show ended, I separated with my friends so I could follow them. Tine was pushed back by his friend to walk at the back of the stage. I heard that they wanted to take a picture with the singers. But there were a lot of people taking pictures so they were unsuccessful with their mission.

'It feels so good to see them this close.'

That is the sentence I heard when Tine walked out with a smile. He then took a picture of the singers on a giant stand from the big poster instead. I silently took a picture as well and that image is the photo I uploaded on Instagram.

Since then, I have tried looking for him in every Scrubb event. I am hopeful that one day, I will see him again. Unfortunately, everything was wasted until I graduated high school. I took the university entrance examination in Chiang Mai to start a new life without expecting anything.

Until one day...

The man I was looking for came to find me in my place, and he called my name - he knew my name. At that time, I knew that the long wait was over. That smile under his silly face made my heart remember what I felt the first time I saw him.

"Why don't you have a lover back in high school?" That question was thrown to me by this man who is helping me with my wounds. We were too quiet until I decided to break it down.

"Waiting for you." I answered playfully.

"You are really annoying."

"I don't want to have love before. Maintenance is so tiring."

"And what do you really want in a person?"

"I want a person who can take care of me."

"Aren't you bored? I used to look after one person before. It is really tiring."

"Not really bored. I just wanted someone that won't get tired of taking care of me. Because when you take care of someone with love, it is all worth it." The gauze was wrapped around my hand and gently sealed with scotch tape. No one talked after that because Tine knew who I was referring to. His face became red, overtaking the redness of his wounds.

"Have you ever liked someone?" He dares to ask again after we sat quietly for almost several minutes.

"Yes." I answered honestly.

"Where is that person now?"

"Somewhere."

"Really... don't you want to flirt with that person? You may feel satisfied." "Some people are satisfied just by looking at it, not possessing it."

"Yeah. Just like some people who always look at you because you are handsome even if you are a useless person." Tine added.

"But in everything, you are the only exception for me."

"..."

"That's why I want you..."

"Hey!"

"I want to be harsh on you."

"You bastard." The person quickly moved far from me until almost sticking to the head side of the bed. I laughed in a joking way despite the fact that I wanted to swoop in to catch his reaction. It caused my wife to be out of his mind.

"What do you want from me? Tell me..."

"I don't want anything from Sarawat. He's sadistic."

"Just like this?" I use this moment to be close to him until I can almost feel his breath.

"Why is this little buffalo so cute?" Tine widened his eyes while looking back at me.

"..."

"Can I kiss you?"

"No."

"Your cheeks smell so nice."

"You are not allowed.

"What can I do?"

"Nothing. Get out of my face!"

"Are you shy?" I pushed his head away and laughed. I don't know why I was so happy even by pushing his head.

I always hide my madness from the others. Only my friends and a few acquaintances knew what I was inside. This is the truth because in reality of the world, we don't have time to care about everyone and definitely are not born to please anyone.

Therefore, we must choose people we want to please and show our true colors to them.

"I don't want to let you go."

"I did not go anywhere." He answered while giving me a side look.

"Even when others are staring at you..."

"So what?"

"I don't like it."

"..."

"I don't want anyone to hold your hand, rub your head, hug you, kiss you, like you... everything that you want to do all the time." I never requested these kinds of things. I must take this opportunity to let him know to make this a smooth one.

"But you know how to do all of that, right?"

"Erm... not if I don't ask for permission."

"Why do you need to be so well-mannered now? I normally don't see you like that", said Tine. That sentence is so light that it almost disappears in his throat. But for someone like me who is so focused on listening to him, I can bet that my heart is really happy right now. So, I don't have to ask permission and just do it to you? Is that what you're saying?

"Yeah. I normally never ask." I moved closer to Tine, so close that I could sense the odor of the medications on his face. He can't move anywhere because he is sitting on the head side of the bed. I use the moment to stare at this person while I gently lay my lips down and kiss him.

Even if my heart wants to crush to whatever extent, Tine closed his eyes for a moment. Before opening my eyes, I broke away from our kiss and looked at the other person's face. To be honest, he is so tender that I would lick even his shadow until my tongue is dissolved. But I did not dare to do it because he is in pain.

Our lips touching is enough for me. Tine is in pain. I repeatedly told myself that he is in pain.

"It hurts." I knew he would say that.

"It's just a kiss."

"Still. It hurts."

"Just a gentle touch of our lips. We did not even use our tongues like before."

"What the hell? Get back!" The person in front of me pushed my chest out.

"Why are you so emotional?"

"What?"

"Right now."

Bang!

He walked out and kicked the front door. Ugh! Can someone stop my short- tempered wife? He's so cute...

~

"Hey, I am hungry." The voice of Boss complained in our ears while we were walking down the building of our faculty going to the canteen. I am a person who doesn't care and not much of a problem when it comes to eating. Normally, I go to a curry shop and order. But today, we are an hour late so there are only a-la-carte restaurants and noodle houses that are still open for lunch.

"Minced pork basil."

"I want that too."

"Me too."

"So....everybody has the same order." Everyone nodded. We are so hungry that my gang ordered six dishes at the same time.

Our class will resume at 2pm so we still have time to talk about some stuff like men in general. We talked about football, cartoons, music, or even just sharing porn videos. This one, I am just telling the truth.

"The asshole in the movie is probably that big bastard man". We are talking about a Japanese movie. It is the talk of the town and the new trend. Besides, the movie is really catching. For me who doesn't use social media that much, Man managed to bookmark the link on my laptop so I can just watch it anytime.

Aside from us talking, mobile phones are an important factor these days. We tend to pick up our phones and play games to kill time while waiting for our food. My friends and I liked to play mobile games. My friends loved social media as well.

They find Facebook a lot faster than Instagram when they post updates and to follow girls.

As for me... I am just sitting with my mind wondering. Just sitting and looking at the photos on my phone repeatedly. At first, I admit that it's so damn stupid to use social media. Then it came to the point of finding a way to save pictures from Instagram to my gallery. In the end, I was slapped by a big-headed dude to help me teach how to take photos for IG. I only have a few photos on my phone: One is my family, and the second is Tine.

"A little smile, a big smile. Use the methods I taught you, okay?" Man asked me with a mocking voice while smiling.

"What the heck is that?"

"I am telling you to try this and poke your cheek."

"But... You just told me to send a photo and ask him for a kiss? Why do I have to do that?"

"He won't give it to you with that face. Let me try and give you an example." Man then took a selfie on my phone and showed it to me so I could imitate it.

"Peace sign?"

"Tine will like my photo for sure. It's cute."

"Have you ever died?" I don't want him to mess with my wife. So, fuck that. Whatever, it's done. I'm not doing this.

"Food is here."

"Alright. Let's eat first then die."

Food and utensils are ready and everyone is prepared to deal with hunger. While we were eating, we were interrupted by someone standing nearby. She has a familiar face but I did not say anything and let the other party start to speak themselves. "Sarawat, I bought Blue Hawaii for you. There are snacks too." She came with her two other friends.

"Ummm..."

"I can clearly remember that Sarawat likes Blue Hawaii. The last time, I gave it through Man. I was just so happy to know that Sarawat likes it." The question is, which Blue Hawaii? I haven't received anything from Man. I suddenly turned to Man and saw him giving me a dry smile.

"Thank you. But you don't have to buy it next time. Also, I don't like Blue Hawaii that much."

"Oh, Sarawat. Then what do you like to eat?"

"Nothing. I don't want anything from you." This is very uncomfortable and I always feel this every day. Whether I am eating or in class, there are always a bunch of snacks with my name written on it. Later when they noticed that I am not picking it, they hang it or place it on top my car instead.

I rarely go to this cafeteria because this is the center of everything. Meaning, a lot of students are eating here. The more students, the more trouble. I always feel like I am being starved by my friends... and enemies. If I didn't see Tine here before, I swear you won't see me here. Not even my shadow.

"We heard that you will be forming a band for a competition." She changed the topic. I nodded.

"Fighting! And oh, there is a medical plaster in that bag."

"..."

"I saw that you have a wound in your hand."

"Thank you."

"By the way, cool posts on IG!"

"Thanks." Or in other words, please leave.

There are already many pictures of Tine on my IG. Photos that were taken by myself and my friends. But there are more photos in my gallery that I don't want to share. I will just keep it alone and look at it privately as it will make me much happier.

"Won't bother you anymore. I'll be waiting to cheer for you next semester."

"Okay." Then they left. She actually looked cute but it is just so wrong. I don't like her and I don't want to cheat on my wife.

"Damn! You're so hot! Hmmmm..." My friends threw these words right after they left.

"Eat." I ended everything.

"You should have at least asked for her number and give it to me."

"Go and ask for yourself."

"It's not that I can help you flirt with Tine..."

"Flirt my ass. You only cause everything to fail."

"Later, I'll go and visit him at your club. Want me to make him flirt with you?" I stopped eating and stared at him for a moment.

"But you don't have to be so obvious. You go practice football with our seniors first because I need to practice guitar later." At this time, my focus is on finding a practice room and choosing a song with my friends in the band. Therefore, after eating and studying, I need to separate with these people. White Lion gang heading to the football field and me going straight to the club room.

~

The training room atmosphere is still the same. The only difference is that everyone is very quiet because there is no guitar music playing. Many people are enthusiastic about writing something on a piece of sticky paper.

And there he is sitting in the corner of the room with a bent face and swollen eyes. He is writing something but it looks like he is in a bad mood today. Maybe the reason why is because of his facial wounds that cause him to lose some confidence. He always likes to think that he should be handsome all the time.

Then I remembered him crying. When he was crying, he was both funny and pitiful at the same time.

"Alright, I will say it again." P'Dim stressed his face in the middle of the room, forcing me to hurry and find a seat. The place I headed straight was the area beside Tine.

"Next month will be the university's final examination so I am expecting less members to come here. As for your videos, just upload it on FB and tag me. If you need a practice room, there are three practice rooms available. You just have to ask permission from you teachers first. I want you all to read and study your lessons."

"Yeah!"

"Why are you so happy?"

"..."

"Okay. Now you all have papers in your hand. Write your things you have learned in music club this semester. For those of you who just came, get some papers in the front. I'll give you half an hour to finish it."

"Copy!"

"Get your papers now."

The practice room doesn't have a table. Therefore, we are using the floor for support. Some people also use their guitars as support for easier writing.

"Aren't you tired of bowing down? Use your guitar as support." I started the conversation with Tine.

"Are you crazy? That guitar is expensive."

"Can I use your back then?"

"Use the wall." His white hand pointed to the wall as a solution. But I don't care. I will use the back of my wife as a writing desk. I went to his back and immediately placed the piece of paper on his back.

"Sarawat, are you crazy?" And then he complained. He complained and complained but I did not listen until he became exhausted and kept quiet.

"Does the wound still hurt?" I asked when the paper was still attached to his back.

"Not anymore."

"Sure?"

"Umm."

"Have you taken medicine yet?"

"Umm."

"I am worried." I really am. As much as I want to take care of him 24/7, we still have a lot of things to do individually.

"Umm."

"..."

"Me too." My heart is about to explode because of happiness at this very moment. Tine spoke very soft, barely audible. But we are surrounded by people so I need to force myself to hold back my smile. Just knowing Tine is worried about me, it makes me really happy.

I focused back on my paper and answered the questions one by one.

Why did you study guitar?

- I am not good at playing other musical instruments.

What did you get from learning this guitar?

- Experience and friendship.

What is the first song you learned from playing in the club?

- All I Want - Kodaline

What is your most favorite chord?

- "C"

In your opinion, what is a guitar for you?

- A friend.

The reason why the seniors created these questions is because they want to get to know the juniors better. They want to know the personality of each person who learned guitar. There is no right or wrong answer because the question is wide open.

What is your favorite song now?

- Everything - Scrubb

Biggest achievement so far?

- Play with Scubb live

Describe a member of the club:

"TINE"

Hey! I even draw back and look at the letters in front of me again. I rub my eyes and rub it again but the result is still the same, his name is still printed on the paper. I wonder if other people get the same name. Then I heard other friends received different name of a member from the club so all my doubts are gone.

I carefully wrote my answer in the blank space.

"Whose name did you get?" Tine asked.

"How about yours?"

"Won't tell you."

"Won't tell you as well."

"I would like someone to read their answers in front of everybody. Any volunteer?" P'Dim asked the group. The members said in unison:

"Sarawat". Okay... Me again.

"So Sarawat please step forward and read your answers." I went to the front area of the room. To be honest, I don't have to do anything. All I have to do is read my answers from the first line to the end. That's it.

But it looks like everybody is interested in my answers because they are all focusing on me, not creating noises. I started reading everything until reaching this question...

"What is your most favorite chord? I like the chord 'C'."

"Why?" P'Dim went for a follow-up question.

"I didn't write a reason." Because I am too lazy. Yeah, people are lazy to write long answers.

"There must be a reason why you like that chord. Answer the questions properly."

"Because... that is the first chord I taught Tine."

"Woahhhh"

"It's getting too much." The booming of the voices grew louder defeating the silence earlier. The person who was mentioned in the corner of the room was withered and confused again until he looked pathetic. I shouldn't have said that. It's been a long time before everyone focused on me again. I kept talking until the last question arrived.

Describe a name with a single syllable yet gave me a hard time as to what to write.

"Tine."

SCREAMS!

"Really? You get Tine? Wow!"

"For me, the meaning of Tine is the little thing that wants trouble throughout his life."

"Ohhhh... I want to throw up."

"Sarawat, that's bad!"

And after that, chaos began again. The truth is, that is not how I describe Tine. What I read is totally different from what I wrote on the paper.

Because for me, the meaning of Tine is...

~

I stopped by my gang at the football field and changed clothes. They are all so focused on playing football. Man is playing off his shirt, raising it in a stick as a signal to send the ball. Other friends in the group are also enjoying the game. I just sat and waited for them to call me to substitute.

Tine went home right after his classes since there is no practice due to the final examination that will happen. In fact, I wanted to invite him to eat.

But I am shy.

"Are you just wanna watch?" Man asked me.

"Which team is lacking so I can fill in?"

"Ours." So I ran down to the field to play with my friends. We were running like crazy until sweat covered our bodies. The bright sky began to fade, changing it with a giant spotlight. The game ended in a score of 10-13 after kicking and having fun. I picked up the water bottle and drank the liquid inside. But the screaming of Man drew everyone's attention.

"Fuck! Wow! He got it!"

"What?"

"Read it now! You bastard!"

What they saw is from the instagram page of a music club. They posted a picture causing Man to laugh hysterically. But for me, I can feel death now...

It is a picture of a text that I wrote in the club room. The true meaning of Tine in my opinion.

AssociationofPopularMusic

Mr. Sarawat's response sheet @Sarawatlism

"TINE = MY WIFE"

Shit! I am dead.

~

Friday evening is the time I will clear everything. I am planning to bring Tine to movies. But inviting him will be extremely difficult because of that photo circulating online. After that photo, Tine is not talking to me anymore. I am in pain because I don't have a chance to talk to him and defend myself.

I am also not free on Saturday and Sunday because my mother wanted me to go home and celebrate my brother, Phukong's birthday. So I hurriedly invited Tine because I can't take the pain anymore and I don't want our relationship to be destroyed because of that.

Tine and I are still in full university uniform bringing one shoulder bag each. The truth is, I invited him to watch a movie but I don't know what movie to watch. I need to be careful when choosing the movie because my wife is in a bad mood lately.

"Which movie do you want?" I asked Tine politely while we are scanning the list of showing movies.

"You are the one who invited me so you have to choose."

"I can watch any movie so you choose what you like." I am beginning to feel shy and afraid of quarreling with this dog.

"Okay."

After selecting seats and paying the bills, I invited him for dinner. After eating, his mood became lighter. It is so fun strolling and walking around with him even though our feets hurt. We sat on the sofa near the cinema.

"Can I listen to Scrubb's new song?" The person next to me asked. He immediately stuffed his earphones to his both ears then he danced in a crazy rhythm.

"Stay still."

"I want to listen."

"Are you angry?"

"Walking and eating with you like this? I think I am."

"You should not be angry. I just wrote what is true."

"Fuck off."

"You are my wife. If anyone asks me next time, I will say that you are the husband."

"No need."

"Thank you."

He is answering me without thinking. He was still listening to music until I reached out to pull one earphone from his other ear and stuffed it to my ear. Tine turned to make a sideway look as if wanting to take it back, but only for a moment.

The sound I hear is a fun rhythmic music mixed with the vocalist's voice that fits perfectly. Just listening to the song, I can say that this is Tine's favorite band. He loves it so much that I'm afraid if the vocalist will flirt with Tine, then I'm probably done.

"New song?" I asked.

"Umm."

"What is the title?"

"Rain."

"I felt it in my heart." "

Makes you sad?"

"Nope." Just being together, my heart is already fine. After the song was done, he selected another song. Of course, it is from his favorite band again. In fact, eighty percent of the songs on his mobile phone are from Scrubb. It made me ask questions why he liked them so much.

"Why do you like Scrubb?"

"They have good music."

"Other bands have good music as well."

"I don't get the same feeling when listening to them. When I listen to Scrubb's music, it makes my mood better. Like... I feel really good."

"Umm." I nodded.

"Scrubb's music is easy to follow. When I am sad, it feels like someone is comforting me rather than stressing me some more."

"Can I be your Scrubb?"

"What?"

"I want to be your happiness and your comforter when you're sad. Trust me, I can soothe you better than listening to their music."

"Fuck off."

Damn Tine. Too serious...

We entered the cinema house now and the promoted advertisement took half an hour before the movie started. Before coming in, it is already ten o'clock in the evening. Troublemaker took out popcorn and candy out of his bag and stuffed a gigantic glass of soda. He said he did not like buying snacks in front of the cinema theater because they are expensive. But he did a good job sneaking in snacks from the outside. Damn!

Tine chose a movie that is not mainstream. He is focused on watching the film. One hand holding a glass of water, while the other hand is busy picking up snacks and stuffing it to his mouth with a loud and terrible sound.

I am watching all of his actions. He is so damn cute that I can't take my eyes off him.

"Can I have some snacks?" I said softly. Tine turned and looked at me for a moment.

"I don't have crackers. Do you want Lays?"

"Ah", then he stuffed it into my mouth.

"Can I hold your hand?"

"Fuck off. Someone's watching. Be quiet." He shook my hand and he is getting annoyed again. So I placed my arm around his neck so he can have my shoulder as support. I want to hold his hand but both hands are busy eating and drinking.

Everything that Man taught me is not miserable at all. Yeah!

After eating for a while, he put the glass into a hole of the arm rest. He shifted a few times, searching for the most comfortable position while leaning back on my arm.

Then afterwards... Yes... He fell asleep.

The movie proceeded with the sound of his breath coming in and out. The thing I wanted to hold earlier is now free, so I get to hold his smooth hands now. I watched the movie while caressing his hand.

Tine seems to be so serious about sleeping. Until the moment that I thought the movie was at its peak so I woke him up to watch.

"Tine."

"..."

"Tine."

"What.... What?" The person beside me nodded and hurriedly raised his hand to wipe the saliva drooling from his mouth. I pointed at the screen and he watched carefully. It is known that he wanted to watch rather than sleeping.

When I saw the poster, I did not think that the movie has a sad ending. I rarely watch romance movies. Even now, I am still disappointed with the movie.

Fifteen minutes before the movie ended, his breath was so light - almost hard to hear. Tine did not cry but his face is still very calm as though he had already prepared himself before watching the movie. Until...

"Noooo! No, no, no!"

The credits showing up with a music playing is a sign that the movie has ended. Tine is not happy with the ending because the main leads departed to have their own lives, impossible to meet again.

"We should have watched The Girl on the Train!"

"Why didn't you choose that?"

"I rarely watch love stories! I just want to try this."

"So, you choose to watch this because of me?"

"You are narcissistic."

People in the cinema began to walk out. In fact, it doesn't have that many. The soundtrack is also terrible, resulting in less response from people.

"Can we see the end credits first? In case there is an after credit. I am still hoping that this movie will end better than expected."

People left the cinema leaving just the two of us behind. We waited for nothing. When the lights were on, I saw Tine's face. He looked so disappointed and scared. "It's just a movie." I tried comforting him.

"Umm. But I don't like the ending. It's unrequited love."

"Are you sorry for them?"

"What can you say?"

"The movie has a sad ending. But in real life, we can't make it sad."

"How?"

"Let's be together."

"It's not funny. I am stressed out." said Tine. I stared into his eyes. I want him to know that I am not joking.

"I am serious. If this is a movie between me and you, you have the option to choose if you want the ending to be happy or sad."

"..."

"Tine..." There was no answer from the other party except silence. The cinema staff began to come inside to clean so I stood up and held his hand. I am not interested in hearing his answer anymore. Until...

"Sarawat." He called my name in a light voice.

"What?"

"I really don't like sad endings."

"Okay."

"Erm."

"What is that erm?"

"Erm... Let's be together."

"..."

Is he my boyfriend now? Are we together now?

Did he just agree to be my boyfriend?

I can't think of anything right now. I am speechless.