Gross Cupcake Challenge

The video opens to Peter and Tony sitting at the kitchen counter. 

"Hey guys!" Peter exclaims. "Welcome back to the Ironfam! Today, I'm here with Mr. Stark, and we are doing the gross cupcake challenge!" 

"Oh, god," Tony sighs. "Another gross food challenge."

"Mr. Stark, you agreed to this beforehand." 

"Did I? I prefer to call it coerced." 

{cut}

Anyway," Peter continues. "I saw this video on YouTube awhile ago, and I thought it would be super fun for Mr. Stark and I to do it, too! How this challenge works is that each of us is going to get a cupcake under a cover. One of them is going to be a normal, beautiful cake mix cupcake. The other one is also a beautiful cake mix cupcake, but this time, there's something totally nasty on top of it. Are you ready Mr. Stark?" 

"As I'll ever be," Tony shrugs. "Alright, let's get on with the video." 

{cut}

"So, we don't actually know what the things are," Peter explains. "We sent our friends out to find the toppings, so… let's hope they don't hate us.

"Peter, we sent out Ned, MJ, Natasha, and Clint," Tony says exasperatedly. "Past experiences show that they pretty much hate us." 

"That's true," Peter nods. "Last time Clint was involved in picking the foods, he was basically trying to kill us." 

{cut}

Peter closes his eyes and sticks his hand into the bowl of paper. When he withdraws it, he unfolds it and shows it to the camera. "Eight. So now, we've just got to... find... the bag..." 

He stands up, checking all the bags, until Tony drops one in front of him. 

"Here," he says. 

Peter takes a deep breath, before reaching into the bag and pulling out a plate. On the plate is a white-ish, brown-ish meat. 

"Ew," Peter says, wrinkling his nose. "It's salmon." 

Tony looks at someone behind the camera. "Are you kidding me?" he asks. "We are both allergic to fish, Barton. What the hell." 

Someone, presumably Clint, is laughing behind the camera. 

{cut}

"If you gave either of us fish, Barton, I swear, I'll kill you," Tony threatens. 

"Mr. Stark, I'm not going to let you kill Clint," Peter says. 

"Yeah, Tony, listen to your kid," Clint's voice says from behind the camera. "Also, it's technically not a fish, so I will be holding you to your exact wording." 

"Oh my god," Tony sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We're gonna die. These stupid YouTube videos are gonna kill me." 

"We'll be fine, Mr. Stark, we're allowed to spit it out," Peter says, before turning back to the camera and smiling brightly. "So, now that everything's explained, let's get on with it!" 

{cut}

Two plates covered with a silver dome are slid in front of Peter and Tony, who each grab one. 

"Cheers," Peter says, tapping his plate against Tony's, before pulling the cover off. "Oh, good, I've got the good one." 

Tony's staring at his cupcake. "It looks like… jelly." 

Tony's cupcake is covered in a blue, sparkly, jelly-like substance. He picks it up and sniffs it. 

"Come on, Mr. Stark, take a bite!" Peter exclaims around a mouthful of his cupcake. 

"Easy for you to say, you don't have to eat the mystery jelly!" Tony snaps half-heartedly, but he picks the cupcake up again and brings it to his mouth. Taking a deep breath, he takes a large bite and chews slowly for a moment, before his mouth falls open. 

"What is it?" Peter asks, staring at Tony. "Do you know what it is?" 

Tony picks up a bucket from the floor beside him and spits his mouthful out into it, but the blue jelly is still in and around his mouth. 

"Ew!" He exclaims. "That's toothpaste! That's like… a **** load of toothpaste!" 

"Do you want some orange juice to get the taste out of your mouth?" Peter asks innocently. 

Tony turns to glare at him, but the effect is ruined by the fact that his mouth is still surrounded by blue sparkles. 

{cut}

Tony is wiping his face with a paper towel. He sets the towel down, and glares behind the camera. 

"Right off the bat, I get the bad one?" he asks accusingly. "Why couldn't you at least start with Peter?" 

"Because," Clint's voice says defensively. "That's mint toothepaste, and your child is deathly allergic to mint. You want us to kill him?" 

"Didn't stop you from trying to feed him salmon," Tony grumbles, shoving the plate away from him. "Just give us the next cupcake." 

{cut}

Peter trills his lips, as Tony sighs. 

"You know," Peter says, straightening and looking at Tony. "Toothpaste really isn't that bad. It could have been much worse." 

"They're just lying in wait," Tony says, squinting suspiciously behind the camera. "It's going to get real bad, kid, just you wait." 

"Yeah, I know," Peter deflates slightly. "I was just trying to be optimistic. Do you think they're going to make me eat worms again?" 

Tony shrugs. "Anything's possible." 

Peter groans. 

{cut}

The plates reenter the frame. Peter takes a deep breath. 

"Ready, Mr. Stark?" he asks, grabbing the handle on top of the cover. 

"No," Tony says, before sighing. "I mean, yeah, I guess I kind of have to be…" 

They remove the covers at the same time. 

"Oh, yes!" Tony cheers. "I know I got the good one, because mine looks like chocolate and yours looks like dirt!" 

"It is dirt," Peter says, leaning forward to sniff it carefully. "It's a giant pile of dirt. I hope you guys didn't get this from the dog park down the street, because that would be really gross." 

Peter picks up the cupcake and takes a large bite out of it. As he tentatively chews, a loud crunching sound comes from his mouth. 

"Gross, dirt's crunchy?" Tony asks, giving Peter a disgusted look. 

"What, you never ate dirt as a kid?" Clint's voice asks. 

"No!" Tony exclaims. "What, has everyone else here eaten dirt at some point?" 

There are general affirmative noises, except from Natasha. 

"I did not," she says. "But that's because I never really went outside except for when I was sent on missions." 

There's awkward silence for a moment. 

"Alrighty, well…" Peter finally breaks the silence. "Let's go on to the next one!"

{cut}

"Wait," Tony says. "I never saw you spit out the dirt." 

"Oh, I didn't," Peter shrugs. "You all were preoccupied, and I just swallowed it. Not that bad, really. Kind of reminds me of before I lived with… with May and Ben. I used to make mud pies all the time, and my dad would sit down with me and we would eat them. Kind of gross, now that I think about it, and weird, but whatever. He was encouraging my creativity." 

"You are such a weird child," Tony shakes his head. 

{cut}

The plates are back. 

"I really hope it doesn't get much worse," Peter sighs. "But I'm pretty sure it's only going down from toothpaste and dirt, seeing as how those two were pretty tame." 

"Those were tame?" Tony exclaims. "How bad do you think this is going to get?" 

"I dunno," Peter shrugs. "Maybe they find a way to give us poop. Maybe they put steamed broccoli on one and give it to you." 

Tony was about to lift the cover off his plate, but he drops his hand and turns to dramatically glare at Peter. 

"Really?" he asks. "Really? You're seriously going to bring back the broccoli? I thought we'd moved past this." 

"Oh, Mr. Stark," Peter grins. "That's never going away. For any of you that don't know…" 

Peter makes a wild gesture. 

{cut}

"Alright, Mr. Stark, your turn." 

Tony rolls his eyes, before gingerly extracting a piece of paper. "Seven," he announces. 

Peter glances through a few bags, and plops a bag with the number 7 on it in front of Tony. "There you go!" 

"Thanks," Tony rolls his eyes again. He opens the top of the bag, glances inside, and immediately closes it again. "No way. Absolutely not." 

Clint is laughing again. 

"Come on, Mr. Stark, what is it?" Peter asks. 

Tony opens the bag and tips it upside down. A bowl falls onto its head, along with a few pieces of steamed broccoli. 

"There is no possible way I am eating that," Tony warns Peter.

"Then you'd better hope you get wear it!" Peter says cheerfully, opening his phone. "Hey Siri, one or two?" 

"One," Siri responds. 

"No." Tony folds his arms stubbornly. "I am not eating that." 

"Mr. Stark, come on..." 

"No!" 

{cut}

Tony is no longer sitting beside Peter. Instead, the camera faintly picks up on his voice outside of frame, but can't make out what he's saying. A soothing, female voice interjects sometimes, only to be overridden by Tony's angry tone.

"So," Peter says, looking at the camera. "Mr. Stark has decided he's going to act like a toddler and throw a fit about his stupid broccoli, so we've got Pepper in here to try to get him to eat it. It's... not going great." 

{cut}

Tony gives Peter a questioning look. "What was that?" 

"What was what?" Peter asks, looking at Tony blankly. 

"Whatever you did with your arms," Tony says. "When you flailed them around like a dying octopus. What were you doing." 

"I dunno," Peter shrugs. "I was transitioning into a clip from the eat it or wear it video we did. That's why I said 'for those of you who don't know.' I'm showing them that time you threw a fit over broccoli." 

Tony rolls his eyes. 

{cut}

"One, two, three!" Peter exclaims, and he and Tony both pull the covers off. 

Tony's cupcake is covered in what looks to be normal icing, while Peter's has a thick, dark substance on it. 

"What is that?" Peter asks. 

He and Tony both lean in close to smell it. 

"I dunno," Tony shrugs, sitting back up and picking up his cupcake. "I'm pretty sure mine's the good one, though, so have fun with whatever that is. I'm just going to enjoy my cupcake over here." 

Peter carefully picks his cake up, and lifts it up to his mouth. He hesitates for a split second, before he just goes for it, and takes a giant bite out of the side of his cupcake. Immediately, his hands go to his mouth, which has obviously fallen open, and his eyes squeeze shut. 

"Oh my god," he says, his voice muffled by the cupcake and his hands. "Oh my god, whatever that is, it's nasty!" 

Tony glances at him, and sets down his cupcake to pick up Peter's. Peter leans over and spits out his mouthful into the bucket beside him. 

Tony picks a tiny piece of the substance off the cupcake with his pinky, and touches it to his tongue. 

"Oh…" he says, as realization dawns on his face. "That's vegemite. That's, like, the nastiest substance on the planet." 

"What the **** is vegemite?" Peter says, giving his cupcake a disgusted look. 

"It's Australian," Tony says. "I don't actually know what it is, but when I was a kid, my mom would make me eat a spoonful of it if I was in trouble. God, this video is bringing back childhood trauma." 

{cut}

"I have no idea why anyone would eat vegemite on purpose," Peter says, matter-of-factly, as he wipes his hands on a cloth. "I don't know why it's even made. It's a waste of resources. That was seriously the nastiest thing I have ever eaten in my life, and I just ate a mouthful of dirt, and I once ate a handful of live worms. That was worse than either of those." 

"I think you're being a little dramatic," Tony laughs lightly. "There's no way that was worse than the worms." 

"It was," Peter insists. "It absolutely was. I'd eat worms again before I ate another speck of that ****. It was so bad. You just said it was your childhood punishment, what do you mean it's not that bad?" 

Tony laughs again. 

{cut}

Peter and Tony both accept the plates that are being handed to them by someone off-camera, and set them on the counter in front of them. 

"Literally," Peter says. "Nothing could be worse than the vegemite. I'm ready for this, Mr. Stark, let's go." 

They lift the covers off their cupcakes. Both are covered in something white. 

"They look…" Peter says, squinting at the cupcakes. "They look… exactly the same?" 

"No," Tony shakes his head. "Mine's thicker, and stiffer. Yours is icing. Mine is… is this shortening?" 

"Shortening?" Peter asks. 

"Vegetable shortening," Tony explains. "It's used in some recipes, or to, like, grease pans before baking. It's basically just… it's really just fat, kid. Some kind of vegetable fat. It's so gross." 

"Oh." Peter stares at Tony's cupcake for a moment, before shugging and picking up his. "Well, have fun with that, Mr. Stark. I'm just going to enjoy my normal, buttercream-frosted cupcake. You enjoy your lard-cake." 

"Thanks," Tony says sarcastically. "If I puke during this challenge, I blame you. And Barton." 

"What?" Clint asks. "Natasha, Ned, and MJ all went with me to pick! And MJ is the one deciding who gets what!" 

"Well, that's hardly, fair," Tony says. "She hates me, and she's best friends with Peter." 

"So far, the only thing she's done in my favor is not kill me with mint toothpaste," Peter argues back. "I had to eat dirt and vegemite. You've had to eat toothpaste and vegetable shortening. I think, out of the two of us, she's being crueller to me." 

MJ is laughing behind the camera. 

"Just eat your cupcake," Nat says. "Hurry up, I want to get to the next one." 

"Oh no," Tony says, as he picks up his cupcake. "That's not a good sign. Well, here goes nothing." 

Tony closes his eyes, and takes a bite out of the cupcake. He immediately turns and spits it out into the bucket beside him. 

"That was disgusting," He says, gingerly setting the cupcake back on the plate and handing it to someone beside him, off camera. "Let's just move on and get this challenge over with." 

{cut}

The plates are returned to the table. Peter sighs. 

"Let's just get this over with," he says, taking the cover off his cupcake. "Oh," he says, looking pleasantly surprised. "Mine looks normal." 

"Would you all stop giving me the bad ones?" Tony complains, as he uncovers his. "Did you really give me ******* ketchup? On a cupcake?" 

"Maybe it won't be so bad," Peter shrugs, already biting his cupcake. "I mean, tomatos are fruits, and lots of people put fruit on their cupcakes." 

Slowly, Tony turns to give Peter an incredulous look. 

"Just because a tomato is scientifically classified as a fruit," he says slowly. "Does not mean it's going to taste good on a cupcake." 

Peter shrugs, taking another bite out of his cupcake. "Well, it's not going away until you try it, so you might as well get a move on."

Tony gives him a dirty look, but picks up his cupcake and takes a bite. He chews slowly, contemplating, until he shrugs and swallows. "What do you know? It wasn't that bad." 

"See!" Peter exclaims triumphantly. "I told you so!" 

"Yeah, yeah," Tony rolls his eyes. "Come on, Barton, give us the next one." 

{cut}

Peter and Tony whip the covers off their plates at the same time. Both have pink frosting and white flecks on them, but the flecks look to be different in size, shape, and texture.

"What is that?" Peter asks, squinting suspiciously at his cupcake. "It's not sprinkles like yours, so I guess I got the bad one." 

Tony leans in close to Peter's cupcake, studying it, until he suddenly gags slightly, and leans back. 

"Have fun with that one, kid," he says, clapping Peter on the back. "That's fingernails." 

Peter stares at him, disbelieving, for a moment. After a beat of silence, he takes a close look at the flecks, and he, too, gags. 

"Oh, my god!" he exclaims. Clint, Nat, Ned, and MJ are all laughing behind the camera. "Oh, my god, I am not eating that! I don't even know where they came from! I'm not eating fingernails, I'm not doing it." 

"Well…" Tony says slowly around a mouthful of cupcake. Frosting lines his mouth. "It's not going away until you try it, so might as well get a move on." 

Peter glares at him. "Do not turn my words against me. Yours was ketchup, which is totally edible and not that bad. This is fingernails. From someone unknown. It's completely different, and completely unfair!" 

Tony gives him a deadpan look. "Just take one bite, Peter, then you can spit it out and we can move on." 

Peter stares at him for a moment, before he turns around and stares at his cupcake for a solid minute. Tony's watching him, as he eats his own cake. Finally, Peter takes a deep breath, picks up the cupcake, takes a small bite, gags, and spits it out violently into his bucket. He immediately gulps water, before he gags again. 

"Oh my god," he says, ignoring Tony's laughter. "That was disgusting. I could, like, feel them, poking my gums and cheek and ****. If any of you ever do something like that again, I will never talk to you again, as long as I live." 

"Don't be dramatic," Tony rolls his eyes. "It's over now, so we can move on. Next, please." 

{cut}

Peter closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and lifts the cover off his cupcake. 

"Oh, thank god," he breathes, as he takes in his chocolate cupcake with completely normal red icing. "Good luck with whatever **** is under that cover, Mr. Stark." 

"Thanks," Tony says drily, before he grabs the silver handle, and lifts. 

Peter snorts violently, and then starts laughing histerically. Everyone behind the camera is laughing, too, as Tony stares, deadpan, at his chocolate cupcake with red icing, topped with a whole squid. 

"What the ****." he deadpans. "What the actual ****. Where did you even find this? How the **** did you manage to get a squid. A whole ******* squid." 

"I have sources," Natasha says simply. 

"What kind of sources, dealers of weird-*** seafood?" Tony demands. "I am allergic to seafood, you idiots! So is Peter! Neither of us can eat this!" 

"I thought you were just allergic to fish!" Clint exclaims indignantly. 

"A squid is a fish, dumb***!" Tony snaps. 

"Actually, they're not," Peter pipes up, wiping red icing off his chin. "Squids are cephalopods, which are marine animals, and are an invertabrae phylum that includes octopus and cuttlefish, but squids do not belong to the fish family."

"Peter," Tony sighs. "Why the **** do you know that." 

Peter shrugs. "I like the ocean." 

"Well, even if it's not a fish, if it lives in the ocean, I'm allergic to it," Tony shrugs, pushing his plate away. "So I am very sorry to disappoint, but I will not be eating that cupcake. Next." 

Peter looks into the camera and shrugs. "I guess that's fair. I'm not trying to kill him today, so… moving on, I guess." 

"You're not trying to kill me today?" Tony asks. "So when are you trying to kill me?" 

"If I told you, it would ruin the surprise." 

{cut}

"Are you kidding me?" Tony rolls his eyes as he lifts the cover off his plate. On the plate is a vanilla cupcake with green icing, decorated with a large amount of steamed broccoli. 

Peter bursts out laughing. "I told you, Mr. Stark, that's never going to die!" 

"This is so stupid," Tony snaps, taking a bite of the cupcake, spitting it out, and putting the cover back on the plate. "Just give me the next ******* cupcake." 

"Mr. Stark, your language is going to cause me a lot of pain during editing," Peter says, handing his plate to someone off-camera. "It's really annoying to bleep out all the times you say ****." 

"Excuse me, you just said ****," Tony says indignantly. "Hipocrite." 

{cut}

Peter lifts the cover off, and stares questioningly at his cupcake. "What is that? It looks like butter." 

Tony picks up Peter's cake and sniffs it. "Ew. That's mayonnaise." 

"Oh, cool," Peter says, picking up the cupcake and taking a large bite. Tony stares at him as though he's been personally offended. "Kind of weird on a cupcake, but still. Not bad."

"Excuse you, what the ****," Tony says, still appearing mortally offended. "You don't just eat a cupcake that's been frosted with mayo. Why the **** would you ever eat mayo in the first place." 

"Because it's good," Peter says, now also looking offended. "Don't come at me and my mayo, Mr. Stark. It won't end well for you." 

"Oh, yeah, Peter, I'm really afraid," Tony mocks him. 

Peter rolls his eyes. "Just to make you squirm." 

Looking deadpan into the camera, Peter takes the rest of the cupcake and crams the whole thing into his mouth. He then turns to Tony, stares him in the eyes, and swallows all of it whole. Tony looks horrified. 

{cut}

"Ugh, you've got to be kidding me," Peter drops the cover onto the table and puts his head in his hand. On his plate is a cupcake topped with a mound of live worms. "Again with the worms. Why do I always have to eat live worms?" 

"You don't have to eat them," Tony says, taking a small bite out of his cupcake. "You can just spit them out, like a normal person. I am getting really sick of cupcakes." 

"Oh, poor you," Peter rolls his eyes. "And I can't just spit them out. I ate them before, now I have to eat them every time they're presented to me. Besides, it's the last round, might as well go out with a bang." 

Tony shrugs. "Your funeral." 

Peter sighs, picks up the cupcake, and breaks a piece off the bottom. He then takes a single worm, places it on the piece of cupcake, and puts it in his mouth. He freezes for a second, gags, puts his fist in front of his mouth as he attempts to not puke, and then swallows. He's silent for a moment, before he gasps, and opens his mouth to show that the worm is really gone. 

"I forgot how gross live worms are," he shudders, taking a large drink of water. "Ugh. Gross." 

{cut}

"Well, that's it for the gross cupcake challenge," Peter says, handing his worm-cake to MJ. "MJ's going to take the rest of the worms back outside, for anyone wondering. If you liked this video, please like and subscribe to see more of… this. Have a fantastic day, don't do this challenge, it probably won't end well for you. Goodbye!" 

Tony laughs. 

{cut}

Comments:

Nelalila: This was disgusting and I loved it. Thanks for posting your amazing videos!

Lillix_luv: I can't believe Tony Stark doesn't like mayo. I'm… I'm so offended. 

Whatsawilltolive: I love that everyone keeps making fun of Tony for the broccoli. That's going to live forever. 

DoritoGod: #Irondad