Christmas!

The video opens to Peter standing in the living room. It looks like Christmas threw up on Stark Tower; there are decorations everywhere, complete with a massive Christmas tree covered in beautiful ornaments and garnishes, and surrounded by a large pile of presents. 

"Hey guys, welcome back to the Ironfam!" Peter exclaims. "So, this video is coming out a little later for all of you guys, but… it's Christmas Eve! And whatever else I've said about Halloween and Thanksgiving and stuff… Christmas is definitely my absolute favorite holiday! And, what's even better…" 

Peter picks up the camera and walks over to the window, showing a picture of a white-frosted city, with more snow still falling. 

"We've got a white Christmas!" he says excitedly. "I just… I love Christmas, a lot, and of course there's some bitterness… it's the first Christmas without May, and that's… killing me, but I just have to… get through it, you know? I mean, I know May wouldn't want me to sit around moping about it, and she'd be so upset if I let it ruin Christmas. So I've let myself have a few hours of being depressed, and sure, I've cried a bit, I'm not ashamed to admit that, but… now it's time for some Christmas Eve shenanigans! Mr. Stark and Pepper have childhood traditions, and so do I, so we're going to combine them and get some crazy Christmas **** done!" 

{cut}

Peter, Tony, and Pepper are now standing side-by-side in the kitchen. They each have a massive gingerbread mansion in front of them, completely devoid of any icing or decorations. Tony's looks something like a large, fancy hotel, Pepper's like something out of the Victorian era, and Peter's looks like something out of a Christmas movie. 

"So, one of Pepper's childhood traditions is a gingerbread house decorating competition," Peter explains. "As you can see, Mr. Stark is a little extra, and he decided to get these pre-built monstrosities so we don't have to worry about putting them together, because none of us would be very good at that."

"Excuse me, kid," Tony says, offended. "I'm an engineer. I'd be very good at that." 

"Sure," Peter rolls his eyes. "We each got to pick what kind of gingerbread mansion we'd like to make, and this is what we've got! So… let's get on with it!" 

{cut}

There's a time-lapse of them decorating their houses. They're all surprisingly good at it; all of the mansions look like they were made by gingerbread professionals. 

{cut}

"Alright!" Peter exclaims. "We've finished decorating, so now it's time for the judging! Pepper, Mr. Stark, and I won't be in the kitchen during the judging; Natasha, Clint, and Steve will be doing that. They don't know who built which one, so there's no bias! Now, over to Nat, Clint, and Steve!" 

{cut}

Natasha, Clint, and Steve are sitting at the kitchen table, the gingerbread monstrosities sitting in front of them. 

"Hmm…" Natasha looks over each of the houses, deliberating. "Well… they're all pretty cool, I'm impressed with all of them. However… I think this one," she gesture's at Tony's, "is a little… too much. And this one," she nods at Pepper's, "Just has too much going on. Honestly, my favorite is this one." She points at Peter's. 

"Really?" Clint asks, surprised. "I really like this one," he points at Pepper's. "It's very nice." 

"You just like how much candy is on it," Steve rolls his eyes. "If I'd have to rank them, I'd say this one, then this one, then that one." 

He gestures to Peter's, Pepper's, and Tony's, in that order. 

"I'd have to agree," Natasha nods. "That one is impressive, but it seems… almost like they're trying too hard. This one is very simple and sweet. It's still very impressive and fancy, without being too much." 

"Yep," Steve nods. "Clint? What's your ruling?" 

Clint stares at the houses for a while, before he shrugs. "I guess I agree with you guys." 

{cut}

Peter, Tony, and Pepper are back in the kitchen. 

"Well?" Peter asks. "What'd you decide?" 

"In third place," Natasha announces dramatically, "Is the giant hotel-looking thing." 

"What?" Tony exclaims, indignant. "Seriously? Mine's last?" 

"It was just too much," Natasha shrugs. "Also, I was pretty sure that one was yours. It's too… grandiose, I guess. Too over-the-top." 

Tony folds his arms, and his face falls into what can only be described as a pout. 

"In second place," Natasha continues, "Is this one." 

"Understandable," Pepper nods. 

"Does this mean I win?" Peter asks. 

"Yes, it does," Tony sighs. "Good job, kid, you made a very nice gingerbread house." 

"Thanks, Mr. Stark!" Peter exclaims, bouncing on his heels. "I totally thought you were gonna win this!" 

"So did I," Tony sighs. "So did I." 

{cut}

"Now, for Mr. Stark's tradition," Peter says, filming as he, Tony, and Pepper walk together down a hallway. "He likes to go find the more rural parts of town, drive around the neighborhoods, and judge Christmas lights! The top three are gonna get a prize!" 

"What is the prize, Tony?" Pepper asks, as they enter the elevator. 

"Well," Tony shrugs. "I thought I'd go with the classics. Jarvis and I used to go out and do this on Christmas Eve, when I was a kid. For third place, they're getting five gift certificates to one of my favorite old restaurants, which is the perfect combo of classy and homey," he explains, holding up the certificates. "Second place gets some of the fanciest coffee, sodas, and champagnes I've got, and first place just gets ten thousand dollars." 

"What?" Peter exclaims. "Ten thousand dollars? I thought we were just gonna leave them, like, sparkling cider and chocolates or something!" 

"Nah," Tony shakes his head, as the elevator arrives and the three of them climb into one of Tony's many, many cars. "I like to be a little over-the-top with these." 

"You really think they're gonna take ten thousand dollars they just found sitting on the porch?" Peter asks skeptically. "They might call the cops!" 

"I'm not going to just leave it on the porch," Tony rolls his eyes. "I'm going to knock on the door and present it to them. Give them a little Christmas miracle." 

Peter rolls his eyes. 

{cut}

"So," Peter explains. "We've got the houses down to the top three. That one, that one, and that one," he points out each of the houses. "But we can't decide which one wins. I think that one's the best," he points out one of the houses. "But Mr. Stark likes that one," he points at another. "And Pepper likes that one," he points at the last one. "So basically we're at a stalemate." 

"We'll put your favorite first," Tony declares. "And Pepper's second, and mine third. There. It's decided." 

"What?" Peter asks, looking confusedly at Tony, who's already walking towards Peter's favorite with the money. "Mr. Stark!" 

{cut}

They're back in the living room of Stark Tower. 

"Now, for the last thing before we go to bed," Peter says. "We're going to watch Polar Express, one of the best Christmas movies ever, and then Mr. Stark is going to read The Night Before Christmas. And then we're putting out cookies for Santa, plus some carrots for his reindeer, and go to bed!" 

Tony looks at Peter, giving him a strange look. "Pete, you, uh… you do know…" 

"Shush," Peter puts his hand over Tony's mouth. "Younger viewers, Mr. Stark. Younger viewers." 

"Ah," Tony nods in understanding, pushing Peter's hand away. 

"So," Peter turns back to the camera. "We'll next see you guys tomorrow morning! Natasha, Steve, and Bucky are gonna be here with us tomorrow morning for exchanging gifts. So… goodnight, Ironfam, see you in the morning!" 

{cut}

"Good morning!" Peter whispers happily, rubbing his eyes. He's got some truly spectacular bedhead, and Lady and Chloe are both visible, still asleep, on his bed behind him. "It's currently five in the morning. One of my other Christmas traditions… I wake up ridiculously early, and make sure the rest of the house is awake as well. So… let's go wake everyone up!" 

{cut}

Everyone is sitting in the living room, in a half-circle around the Christmas tree. Peter's on the end, so he can film everyone else. They all look extremely tired; they're in pajamas, with bedhead, and Natasha is still wrapped up in a blanket. 

"Time for presents!" Peter exclaims. "Everyone else is still a little asleep, but… we've got some coffee going. Who's first?" 

{cut}

Tony hands out a gift to everyone, and on the count of three, they open them. 

Pepper's got a giant box filled with adorable little baby things; a stroller, clothes, bedroom decorations, everything. Natasha, Steve, and Bucky both have notes in their hands, and Peter's received a tripod and photo album, along with something in an envelope. 

"Upgrades?" Natasha asks, looking at Tony. 

"Yeah, I wasn't really sure what to get you three…" Tony hesitates. "So, you all get to pick three things you want me to upgrade. Plus, Bucky, I know your arm has been bothering you recently, so I've got another one down in the lab, which should be less irritating and heavy."

Bucky is silent for a moment, before, "Thank you, Stark." 

Tony looks massively uncomfortable. "Yeah, um. You're welcome. Peter, tell everyone what that certificate says." 

"We're going to Disneyland?" he exclaims. 

"Yep!" Tony says happily. "We're leaving later today, and you can bring Ted and Scary Girl with you if you want." 

"Oh my gosh, Mr. Stark! Thank you!" Peter exclaims, giving Tony a tight hug. "I am sooo excited!: 

{cut}

Pepper's given everyone their gifts. Tony's is a gigantic Strawberry Shortcake doll, which has him rolling his eyes. Peter's got a box of Spider-man merch, and his eyes widen to the size of saucers when he sees them. Natasha's holding a pair of high heels, looking vaguely confused, Steve has a t-shirt with the Captain America logo on it, and Bucky simply has an American flag. 

"Will you ever let this go?" Tony asks, gesturing towards the massive doll. 

"Is there a story here that we're missing?" Natasha asks. 

"There's two," Pepper explains. "He brought me strawberries once, trying to show that he cared, when the one thing on the planet that I'm allergic to is strawberries. And then for Christmas one year, he got me a stuffed rabbit that was as tall as the house." 

"Wow," Peter snorts, sarcastically. "Good job, Mr. Stark." 

"Oh, and Nat," Pepper turns to Natasha. "Those are not just shoes. If you pull on the bottom of the heel…" 

Natasha does as Pepper says, and the end of the heel breaks apart, revealing a knife.

"And the other one has a bottle of some sort of poison," Pepper shrugs. "I thought you might like those." 

Natasha grins. "Yes, they're very nice." 

"Where the hell did you find those?" Tony asks, looking incredulously at his wife. 

Pepper shrugs again. "I have my ways." 

{cut}

Natasha's passed her presents around, but she wants them to open them individually. Tony unwraps his to reveal a tin can with his trademark goatee drawn on it, which has everyone laughing hysterically. Pepper's is revealed to be some sort of lipstick. 

"That's special lipstick," Natasha informs her. "It's a sort of sleep drug. So if anyone kisses your or anything while you're wearing that, they'll go right to sleep. Just make sure not to lick your lips or anything while wearing it. It comes off super easy, and reapplies super easy, so you can take it off and put it back on if you're eating or something." 

"Thank you, Nat!" Pepper says, smiling at her. 

Peter unwraps his present, to reveal a very fancy, clearly very expensive, set of knives and daggers. The handles are bound with leather, and the blades are very thin and sharp. They each come with a leather sheath. 

"Thank you, Natasha!" Peter exclaims, reaching over to hug her. 

Natasha shrugs. "You're always getting stabbed. Stab them back." 

"Natasha!" Tony exclaims, warning in his tone. 

{cut}

Steve's gift is revealed to be a stuffed eagle dressed as Uncle Sam, which has him laughing. 

"Where did you even get this?" he asks. 

Natasha shrugs. "Build-A-Bear." 

"When did you go to Build-A-Bear?" Tony asks, looking at her in surprise. 

"Don't judge Nat, Mr. Stark," Peter says defensively. "Build-A-Bear is fantastic." 

Tony holds up his hands in surrender. 

{cut}

Bucky unwraps a shoebox and gently removes the lid. As he sees what's inside, he pauses, before a light, mirthful smile glances across his face. 

"What is it?" Peter asks, leaning over to look into the box. 

Bucky lifts up a pair of light pink pointe shoes. They clearly will not fit him, but that does not seem to be an issue. He shares a secret smile with Natasha. Nobody elaborates. 

{cut}

Steve went the basic route; not knowing what to get anyone, he gave them each a gift card, with a drawing wrapped around it. None of the drawings are visible to the camera, but the gift cards are revealed. Pepper has one to Best Buy, which has Tony looking massively offended while everyone laughs. Tony's is to the Stark Tower Gift shop, which has him rolling his eyes while everyone else laughs some more. Natasha's is to Sportsman's Warehouse, for her to stock up on some more 'equipment.' Peter's is to Hot Topic, which has him almost exploding with excitement. Bucky is the only one without a gift card; he has been given a single left glove, which he throws at Steve while rolling his eyes. Steve snorts. 

{cut}

Tony and Pepper unwrap their gifts from Bucky at the same time. Tony holds up some very fancy makeup, while Pepper reveals a very old computer simply labelled 'parts.' They look mildly confused, until Bucky facepalms. 

"****!" he exclaims. "I labelled them wrong! Switch gifts!" 

Everyone shares a laugh as Tony and Pepper switch their gifts. 

Natasha has been given meat cleavers, which she seems strangely happy about. Peter has a sparring dummy with interchangeable faces. He does not reveal what any of the faces are. And Steve picks up a small box that is quickly revealed to be very fancy chocolates. 

"Read the lid," Bucky says, his tone revealing nothing. 

Steve gives him a cautious look, before he lifts up the lid and reads what's written. Immediately, his face turns red as he begins choking on laughter. 

"What's it say?" Peter asks, looking at Steve. 

Steve slams the box closed and sits on it. Clearly, the chocolates were not the intended gift. 

{cut}

Finally, it's Peter's turn. 

"Mr. Stark and Pepper have to open theirs last," he insists, handing out all the gifts. 

Natasha laughs as she opens her gift, which turns out to be the same set of knives she got him. 

"I thought you'd like them," Peter shrugs apologetically. "I didn't know you were getting me the same ones." 

"You weren't supposed to know, Pete, that's the point of a surprise," Natasha says fondly. "Thank you, these will forever be my favorite knives." 

Bucky gets a teddy bear dressed as Uncle Sam. 

"Uncle Sam, kid?" Bucky says blankly. "Uncle Sam?" 

"What?" Peter says innocently. "I thought you loved Sam?" 

Bucky rolls his eyes. 

{cut}

Steve has a piece of paper in his hands, and as he reads it, he seems confused. 

"What does this mean, Peter?" he asks, gesturing to it. 

"Oh, I, uh, adopted a bald eagle in your name," Peter says sheepishly. "He lives at the zoo, but you're allowed to visit whenever you want. You also get to name him." 

Steve smiles, while Tony bursts into laughter. "Thank you, Peter, that's very nice." 

{cut}

Peter looks almost scared as he hands Pepper and Tony their gifts, which does not go unnoticed, but nobody comments. They unwrap them at the same time, revealing mugs with the words World's Best Mom and World's Best Dad written on them. 

As Pepper smiles, thanks Peter, and brings him into a hug, Tony simply stares at his, before he sniffs suspiciously and reaches over to hug Peter as well. 

"There's one more thing…" Peter says slowly. "So, I was thinking, it's been almost six months since you guys adopted me, and I… I was thinking, maybe, if you guys wanted, I could maybe start calling you, you know… Mom and Mr. Dad." 

Tony stares at Peter for a moment. "Mr. Dad?" he finally asks. "Seriously?" 

Peter shrugs. "It's that or I'm sticking to Mr. Stark." 

Tony rolls his eyes as he hugs Peter again. "Fine. Call me Mr. Dad." 

"I would love for you to call me Mom, Peter," Pepper says, her eyes oddly bright. "This really is a very sweet gift, thank you." 

They all hug again, and everyone leaves with suspiciously misty eyes. 

{cut}

Peter, Pepper, and Tony are sitting in the living room, surrounded by wrapping paper and boxes. Lady and Chloe are playing with the paper in the background. 

"Thanks for joining us for Christmas!" Peter says happily. "This video was super fun to film, so I hope it was fun to watch! Like and subscribe to join the Ironfam if you want to see more of… this. Thanks again! Merry Christmas, and Happy New Years!" 

{cut}