35. What now ?

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They didn't get a chance to talk about what had happened that day. After having breakfast, pulling down the blanket fort and one last extended walk on the beach once it had stopped raining it was already late in the afternoon and time to head back home to the city.

Castle had tried to catch her alone all day, but the opportunity just didn't present itself.

He desperately needed to know how she felt about the kiss, what it meant to her, because to him it sure had felt amazing and he knew what he wanted. He wanted her, he wanted to give them a chance.

She hadn't physically avoided him during their last hours in the Hamptons, but he could sense the hesitancy on her part, could see it in her eyes whenever she quickly glanced away so as not to have to look at him. He suspected she was already over-thinking the whole situation and he just wished he could talk to her, take that troubled expression from her face which told him she wasn't fine.

Now sitting next to him in the car, she kept stoically staring out the window, keeping her hands securely tucked away in her lap, avoiding his eyes while he wanted nothing more than to take her hands in his to reassure her that everything would be fine. They would work it out.

But with the kids in the backseat there was just no way of bringing up the topic right now. He would have to wait and hope she wouldn't have talk herself out of even giving them a chance before he could talk to her.

Jamie was fast asleep when Castle finally stopped the car in front of Kate's building and with Alexis by his side he carried the girl inside, while Kate followed them with the bags.

"Do you want me to put her straight to bed?" Castle whispered when Kate opened the door to her apartment, stepping aside to let them in.

"Yes," she whispered back, "Just put her down. I'll take care of the rest."

He nodded and went his way, not that he would have minded to change Jamie into her pj's but Alexis was tired as well and he needed to get her home and into bed as soon as possible.

Alexis had followed him, watching as he put her sister to bed, placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Night Baby Bird," he mumbled, pulling Alexis into his side, before picking her up with a groan.

"You're getting heavy," he huffed, as Alexis' head came to rest against his.

"Daddy?" she asked, her short arms sneaking around his neck, pulling herself closer, "Can we do this again?"

"What? Going out to the Hamptons with Jamie and Kate?"

Alexis nodded.

"Did you have fun?" Castle asked with a smile.

"I really like Kate," she mumbled as if she wasn't sure she could voice her feelings towards her sister's mother.

He sighed, placing a kiss against her hair before he started to speak, "I'm sure -," but he was cut off by Kate who was suddenly standing in the doorway, and had apparently overheard their conversation.

"I like you too, Alexis. Very much," Kate smiled gently at Castle's daughter. "You're a lot of fun to be around and so great with Jamie. She couldn't ask for a greater big sister."

"Really?" The girl's big blue eyes met Kate's and there was so much doubt swimming in them that it broke Kate's heart.

"Really," she confirmed, stepping closer to brush a strand of hair out of the girl's face. "And I'm sure we can work something out to go back to the Hamptons sometime in the future. Jamie and I had a great time and in the meanwhile we can do fun stuff here in the city."

"See," Castle nudged Alexis' head before meeting Kate's eyes who for the first time since their kiss met his gaze without hesitation, "All good."

With one last look at Jamie's sleeping form he turned for the door, "Come on Pumpkin, let's get you to bed as well, it's getting late."

Kate followed them back to her front door, nervously glancing from one Castle to the other, but Alexis, oblivious to the adults' conflict, just stretched her arms out to Kate, pulling her in for a hug, which brought Kate very close to Castle as Alexis was still on his arm.

"Bye Kate," she whispered.

"Bye Pumpkin, see you soon," Kate whispered back, kissing the girl on her forehead, before looking up at Castle.

"Night Castle," she smiled shyly, but at least she was still looking at him.

Castle smiled back, "Good Night Kate."

With a heavy sigh and one last look behind he stepped out of her door and into the elevator.

The next week sort of dragged along, while they fell into a new rhythm which presented Castle with much more Jamie time than before.

Yet the whole week Kate skilfully avoided being alone with him, knowing he wouldn't bring up their kiss with the kids or his mother around and for anyone else it seemed as if everything was fine. She dropped Jamie off or picked her up as agreed and even managed to spend some time with Alexis or have a quick chat with his mother.

Only when Castle would try to get her away from the others with a look that told her he wanted to talk she would shoot him a warning Castle.

It was when she took his sample for the paternity test on Wednesday that he finally started to believe she just needed some time. Because it wasn't like she didn't talk to him at all, she just didn't talk about them.

By the end of the first week he made a decision, he would wait her out, let her come to him whenever she was ready, because if he'd learned one thing about Kate Beckett over the past months it was that she had to deal with things by herself first, pushing her wouldn't get him anywhere, he knew as much.

During the second week he was actually starting to be a bit proud of himself. For the past four days he had not once tried to get her to talk about the kiss and in return had watched her become more relaxed around him. He took it as a sign that he was on the right pass, she would come around, he was sure of that.

Castle was swinging the pans in the kitchen the next Saturday, glancing at the timer on the stove. Kate would be here any minute now and he was excited. She had agreed to come over and stay for dinner and he hoped she was finally ready to talk about what had happened between them in the Hamptons. Because he knew one thing for sure, he wouldn't let her get away again, he would fight for her, for them, knowing they could be great together. They really could be great together and if he had to tell her that over and over again until she finally believed him, he would.

While Castle was preparing dinner Alexis and Jamie were upstairs with their grandmother doing God knows what and maybe it was better he didn't know, his mother probably rehearsing some big Thanksgiving play with them, with costumes and everything. Though that actually could be cute, he mused while almost burning the rice.

"Shit," he hissed, flicking off the stove and putting the rice into a bowl, burning his fingers while he did so. Great, this was certainly not his day in the kitchen.

But thankfully he was almost done now, one last look into the fridge to check the tiramisu and all he had to do was wait.

He considered calling his mother and the girls down but decided against it, maybe he would actually get Kate alone for a couple of minutes before the family craziness set in, not that he didn't love it, he loved every minute actually, but sometimes he had to admit that two girls could be a handful or two.

So instead of calling upstairs he looked at the table arrangements once more, making sure everything was perfect, before glancing at the clock. Quarter past six, she surely would be here any minute now.

Kate was assigned to Vice again, but she had called around noon to confirm she would be able to make it on time. He wasn't worried yet with her job you never knew. Just in case he put the bowls with the rice and chicken into the oven, so everything would still be hot once Kate arrived. Another glance at the clock, six thirty.

A quarter to seven his mother's head appeared at the top of the stairs, "Didn't Kate say she would be here around six?" she asked.

Castle looked up, "Something must have come up," he shrugged, "I'm sure she'll be here any minute."

Martha nodded, "We'll be up here."

"Okay," he stated, looking back at the door.

Quarter past seven he started to get worried. Kate would have surely called if she knew she would be over and hour late. He started pacing the living room, trying not to panic, but it was a lost cause. When the phone rang at half past seven he practically jumped for it.

"Kate?" He practically yelled into the receiver but was greeted with a male voice.

"Yo, Richard Castle?"

"Yes, yes, this is Richard Castle," he had a hard time keeping calm.

"This is Officer Javier Esposito, I worked with Beckett today," Castle could hear the uneasiness in the man's voice.

"What happened?" He breathed out, grabbing the back of the couch, his knuckles turning white as he braced himself for the worse.

"We are at Presbyterian Hospital downtown, she told me to call you," Esposito said.

"I'm on my way," Castle exclaimed before he hung up.

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