Now more than ever

I put my forehead against his, and he rubbed his nose against mine. "You know," I whispered millimeters from his lips. "Mhhh..." he hummed.

"We'll see, if I like you enough to go to dinner . You know, after this date... Maybe you'll get your chance then." I whispered against his lips. "I mean, if I still like you by then... I would strongly advise you to give into that urge of yours."

I quickly retreated, and took another sip of champagne. Julian studied me, fascinated almost.

"I think maybe we should go for a walk, so I'm not tempted to give into that urge of mine right this instance," he said with humor in his voice. Julian stood up and reached out to me. I took his hand, and he helped me get up.

He didn't really let go of my hand at all, and he entangled his fingers with mine. As we walked, he held our hands up and studied them. "Fits precisely," he said.

"What... have you always wanted to do, but havn't yet?" he asked curiously.

"Oh... that list is infinitely long," I sighed with rolling eyes. "Well, fire on," he encouraged me to express my desires. "Everything," I say briefly.

For a moment he stopped walking. He looked at me deeply, and then walked on.

"Everything, and what is that," he insisted. "I have hardly been anywhere yet, and I would like to discover the world as much as I can. As a child, I always had the desire to go on an adventure, but my life had very different kinds of adventures in store for me," I said somberly.

"And you're talking about your childhood," he guessed. I nodded. "I also wish for my children to discover the world. When I'm done studying, I'll take them," I said passionately.

"You are a really strong woman," Julian said out of the blue. We stopped acrood from a number of swans. "They often say that," I swallowed.

Julian stood in front of me and took the hand that he did not held before. My hand was clenched in a fist, I often did that unconsciously. He opens my hand, finger by finger.

It was quiet for a moment, and then he kissed my hand. "You can let go," he suddenly said. "I'm here and you're safe," he said poignantly, but softly.

A wave of sadness came over me, but I held back my tears. "You're here now, but that doesn't mean you're staying," I said firmly. Julian took a very deep and calm breath, and I heard him blow out sharply.

"So many walls," he said. "And I understand that," he continued, caressing both my cheeks, from my temples to my chin. He took my face in both of his hands, as if he is cocooning me.

Julian leaned in, and I doubted whether I should push him away or not. I thought he saw the doubt in my eyes, because he took some distance, squeezed his eyes into slits. He kissed me on the cheek. My skin burned from the sensation.

"Did you know that swans stay together all their lives, and are also loyal to each other," Julian said casually, turning to the water.

" Really," I asked skeptically. "Absolutely," he answered.

"That sounds like a good pick-up line, Julian," I said as I rolled my eyes. "Well," he laughed. "But still, it's true," he said, looking back at me.

"That's what I want," he said as he took my hand, and walked further through the park. I looked at him. That stubborn tuft of hair hung before his eyes again, while he seemed deep in thought. "What do you mean by that," I asked him a little confused.

"That I am here now. And if you choose to embark on the lifeadventure together, I promise you, that I will be faithful to you all my life. Just like those two swans there," he said with a wink.

"I think businessman. and professor are not the right professions for you. I believe you have missed your true profession. I think you'd been better off becoming a poet," I joked.

"Mhh... the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. My father loved to write poetry," he said with a glint in his eyes.

"Haha, that explains," I laughed. "What does he do for work," I asked. "My father is a pastor," he said with pride in his voice. "Pastor," I repeat implausibly. "Mhh.. yes," he said.

I had to let that sink in for a while, and file it away for later conversations.

"Are you religious," I asked. "Yes, I am," he said. "But I'm a freethinker," he quickly added. "And what do you mean by free thinking then," I pressed.

"That I don't have much with dogmas and the imposition of them on other people," he said very seriously. "I believe you are right, I would rather choose to look at what united people, rather then was devides them."

He smiled at me. He took my hand, as if to introduce himself, and then I knew for sure. Bingo. He smiled when I returned the gesture.

"I want to kiss you, can I kiss you?" he asked me impatiently. "Not just yet," I teased. Julian pouted his lips. "The joke is on my sister though," he murmured and planted a soft kiss on my nose. My heart started beating faster. My hand tugged at his shirt and he chuckled. His nose skimmed my jaw and a soft moan escaped my lips. Julian groaned in response.

"Hey... but wait, what did your sister think was a good joke?"

"What?" he murmured against my ear. "A joke. Your sister." Julian looked uncomfortable. He pouted his lips, and didn't look at me. It doesn't matter, I'm glad I got to meet you," he said endearingly, grabbing my hand again.

"Now more than ever, I really hope you marry me," he said. He squeezed my hand a little more firmly.

"A date in the park first, I reminded him. "Mhh.." is all he responded.