chapter 22: Our Love Is Six Feet Under

if our grave was watered by the rain, could roses blooooooom...Sorry...it's a good song...anyways on with the deaths.

Date: April 21, 2001

Location: La Jolla, CA

Tammy was a workaholic. Her perverted boss, Mr. Eliot, knew that she had a lock in an upcoming promotion. Tammy was also addicted to energy drinks; she drinks Red Ram the most. Asking Mr. Eliot if he wanted anything else, he answered, visually, that he wanted to have oral sex with her. Despite her refusal, she thanks him anyway, and later tries to wash her disgust away with a few more drinks of Red Ram. Little did Tammy realize that she was going into a caffeine overdose. It's not until later when the new guy showed up and went into Mr. Eliot. Tammy took a peek inside the office, and saw that he was passing the oral test with flying colors and with Mr. Eliot. The new guy made no mistakes. The new guy walked to Tammy's office and announced that he got the job. This erupts Tammy's gasket like a volcano. After hearing that Mr. Eliot gave her promotion to the new guy, an enraged Tammy blows up in his face. But then, her over-caffeinated heart stops beating due to ten sixteen-ounce drinks of Red Ram, as well as cardiac arrest, and Tammy dies before she even hits the floor.

Way To Die #188: Blown-Job

Date: August 6th, 2013

Location: Lawrence, KS

Every week, Fernando gathers his friends at his house for a night of watching professional wrestling. Today, Fernando invited a new friend, Chip, over. Fernando met him at an anger management class, and Chip still had some anger issues left over due to his failed ambitions at becoming a TV sportscaster. Soon after, Fernando realizes he made a mistake when the combination of anger and alcohol has Chip picking fights with the rest of the guys. Before Chip could wail on one of the guys, he runs headfirst into the widescreen television and accidentally kills himself; it was a triple-whammy: glass shards were embedded in his face, he broke his neck on impact, and was electrocuted by the severed wires.

Way To Die #355: Anger Damagement

Date: June 8th, 2008

Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Granny is walking down the street. It's a picture of tranquility until a thief tries to snatch her purse. But don't be fooled by her looks. Granny may be 74, but she had over 30 years of experience with Tae Kwon Do. She managed to hold onto her purse very tightly that the thief lost his grip and stumbled. She hands her purse to a female pedestrian and starts beating him up. The passersby were very amused with her skills that they cheered her on. Finally, Granny delivered a killing blow by punching the thief in the throat, crushing his windpipe in the process.

Way To Die #235: I'm To Old For This Shit!!

Date: March 17th, 2008

Location: Seattle, WA

One a store wall is a securitycamera and records these three dumbasses... Three paint huffers are getting high from a paint can. Then they find even stronger toxic chemicals, not knowing they were industrial-grade solvents. One huffer asks for another to pour the contents on him so he can huff the smell directly from his clothes and stay high. However, it removes all the heat from his body. So, being dumb and high he asks them to warm him up with a match. However, the match ignites the solvent, engulfing him in flames and he eventually dies of fourth-degree burns and protein loss. His friends run away, until police confiscated their video camera, and pieced the security and footage together. They most likely got arrested and charged with manslaughter.

Way To Die #98: Huffed and Puffed

Location: Tustin, AZ

Date: September 12th, 2003

Two Japanese-American teenagers named Gregory and Tyler attempt to engage in a katana battle after watching a samurai movie and playing samurai video games. What Gregory and Tyler did not know was that the swords they were using were real, and especially not for child's play. When they took their fight outside, Gregory attempted to land a deadly hit on his friend, Tyler, but his katana hits a low-hanging power line and electrocutes him to his death. If the power line wasn't there, it would have cost Tyler his life instead.

Way To Die #218: Samu-fried

Date: December 24th, 1988

Location: Lansing, MI

One cold Christmas Eve night, an old widower named Bob had no friends or family to celebrate the holidays with; the reason was he a total scrooge. When he gets surprised after hearing carolers singing near his house, he smiled; not because it warmed his heart, but it was a perfect time to get rid of his rotten fruit, which he threw at the carolers. Soon after the carolers ran away from his barrage, the weather showed signs of hail. A two-pound hailstone falling at 100 miles per hour hits him on the head, fracturing his old, brittle skull, killing him instantly.

Way To Die #236: Screwged

Date: May 23rd, 2006

Location: Oakland, CA

Maury is out for a walk when he sees a security vault being installed in someone's house. Later that night, Maury breaks into the house and tries to open the safe to no avail, so instead, he decides to take the safe, slides it outside and he has to push it down several stairs. Not wanting to make any noise, Maury decides to guide the safe quietly down the steps. However, he slips, which causes the vault and him to fall down the stairs. Maury dies after the fall, due to it causing his ribcage to break and his heart to be punctured, thus sending him to Hell. While laying on his back (dead) the vault opens up, and low and behold...the vault...is ✨empty✨

Way To Die #214: I don't know you guys come up with a name or comment one

Death Counter: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 7 dead Mother Fuckers.

🤏🏿👓🧓🏿 Lawd Have Murthy!!