Chapter 23: Rights 2 Dead
Admit it, you all love laughing at others expenses and misfortune but never do we laugh at someone's death...except for when you hear of the next dumbasses on the next chapter of 1000 Ways To Dieeeeee.
Date: 07-20-2001
Location: Climax, KS
Two women and three men walk out of a church. They then play a classic game of Truth or Dare. The girls go first. The men dare the girls to take off their tops, which they do. Then the girls dare the men to urinate on a nearby electric fence. The men decline the dare until one of the men, Bubba, accepts it. Bubba walks up to the fence and begins to urinate on the fence. However, as soon as the urine stream makes contact to the fence, the electricity travels up through the urine stream into his body, all the way to his heart, killing him.
Way To Die #101: Weenie Roast
Date: 07-14-1981
Location: Fijian Islet
Steve and Carlos were two starving drug smugglers who just so happened to fall in the hands of a starving Fijian tribe who were all tired of eating fruit and vegetables and wanted meat. The three men threatened to kill the three women if they didn't find meat anytime soon. Steve and Carlos came along and thought the men would give them food. Instead, they knocked Steve and Carlos out and when they awoke, they were being cooked and boiled alive by the cannibals. After five hours, their muscular tissue easily separated from the bone, making them edible. The six cannibals then cut up Steve and Carlos' dead bodies and ate them as a feast, where the cannibals joyfully enjoy their food, with the chief thanking the gods for giving them their food.
Way To Die #202: Reef Stew
Date: 02-08-2008
Location: Washington, D.C.
Steven and Miranda were out on a date. A little bit of music, some food and drinks, it made a nice picture. But, it was a lie. Steven's real name is Abdullah Muhammad Yassin and he was on the CIA's most wanted terrorist list. Abdul had cut a path of death and destruction across the Middle East and Europe. Now he had sneaked into the US and was planning something big. Miranda thought her new lover boy was just a rug salesman.
But the plot thickens. A violinist on the trail was not who she seemed to be either. Anna was a trained CIA assassin. She was here in spy talk to neutralize her target, in plain English; to make Abdullah dead and suffer. To accomplish her mission, Anna was given the top secret cutting edge piece of technology called "a plasma laser rifle". The rifle was rigged to fire from inside the violin case. Anna waited for the right moment.
While the audience applauded and Abdullah plotted, she pulled the trigger and the concentrated bolt of gamma rays made it's way into the evil terrorist's brain, causing thermal damage in the process, melting his brain, killing him, and he is sent to hell, much to the horror of Miranda and the relief of Anna, who's satisfied because she has completed her mission.
Way To Die #889: Fiddle Licked
Date: 03-02-2008
Location: Manaus, Brazil
Preston was on an adventure. A rich spoiled kid, he had paid for a guide to lead him through the Brazilian jungle so he would have something to brag about with his rich, preppy friends. But he was no Indiana Jones. One night away from his 4-star hotel and he was already regretting it. All he really wanted to do is to explore the territory hidden underneath his guide's shorts. It was a miserable Preston who laid down for much needed siesta. He woke from a dream into a nightmare. He didn't have to worry about tarantulas on Preston. The jungle was teaching Preston a hard lesson; nature is a witch. A 15-foot boa constrictor began to squeeze Preston's neck. Unable to cry for help, he was quickly running out of air and time. The snake kept tightening its grip around Preston's throat. In less than 2 minutes, the spoiled adventurer was choked and suffocated to death.
Way To Die #224: Constriction Accident Pt 2-South Of the Boarder
Date: 04-05-1998
Location: Malibu, CA
A rugby team throws a beach party after losing another game. One of the players who goes by the name of John gets drunk. After finding out the beer is cold, he warms it up by throwing a keg of beer into a bonfire. The team parts the bonfire but John stays, because at least one victim must die in this story. Shortly after they leave John stands and waits. The keg explodes and the metal scraps from the keg cut through his body, killing him.
Way To Die #540: Beer Bashed
Date: 09-21-2005
Location: Downers Grove, IL
On September 21, 2005, in Downers Grove, Ilinois. Four friends named Joe, Tricia, Lina and Alice are bored on a rainy day, until a fifth friend named Tommy shows up with some LSD. Alice has recently broken up with Joe, who takes two hits. The quintet begin to swim around in an empty pool, thinking it is filled with water. Alice who took two hits dives in, and dies when she bellyflops against the bottom of the pool, crushing her spinal column and her skull, cutting off her nerves, causing massive hemorrhaging.
Way To Die #321: Bad Assid
Date: 04-07-2001
Location: Flathead Forest, MT
A nature enthusiast who calls himself "Root-Dog" chains himself to a tree in protest to it being cut down. He is able to get rid of the men, but he ends up meeting another friend of Mother Nature, a grizzly bear. Okay, maybe not very friendly because this beast of the forest shows up and bites into the Root Dog's stomach and pulls out his intestines. And Root Dog becomes lunch for the bear.
Way To Die #176: Tree Mugger
Date: 05-05-2000
Location: Ojai, CA
Deniece hasn't seen her best friend Charline in a long time, so she spends some time with her. Since Deniece is interested in horses, they went to a barn. While checking out the horses, she tells Charline that she's done with her boyfriend Rob. His penis was too small, so Deniece asks Charline if she knows someone with a big penis. She comes up with the idea of doing it with a stallion. At first she refuses to do it, but eventually she tries it out. After seconds of the horse riding her, she falls dead on the floor, sending her straight to Hell, where she belongs. Because the horse's penis is 60 centimeters (or about 24 inches) long, it kept damaging the uterus, which is well-supplied with blood, until she succumbed to exsanguination.
Way To Die #568: Feeling A Bit...HORSE???
Death Counter: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 9 Dead Mother Fuckers
My Gay Ass Could Use a 24 Inch Dick 😏😏😏 Best Way To Go Out Right?