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Senpai_Baka

Senpai_Baka

Lv3
2021-11-01 JoinedGlobal
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Writing

47.1h

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6
  • Senpai_Baka
    Senpai_Baka1yr
    Replied to Senpai_Baka

    But keep going practice makes perfect and get better along the way ^^

    Talk About Life in a Parallel World
    Fantasy · crinobi
    detail
  • Senpai_Baka
    Senpai_Baka1yr
    Posted

    The synopsis seems ok and the First line in the Novel. You do a lot of unnecessary skipping lines in the Novel, like there's no paragraph just sentence ( i don't know if that's the Aim but yeah), Also you use the quotation mark not so well, at the very beginning you used them just fine, but then you started using the dash thing (hypen, i think ) and you should write the speech in quotation and then put the person speaking on the outside. This is Opinion anyway

    Talk About Life in a Parallel World
    Fantasy · crinobi
    detail
  • Senpai_Baka
    Senpai_Baka1yr
    Commented

    Nice opening line

    "Do you like the stars?"
    Talk About Life in a Parallel World
    Fantasy · crinobi
    detail
  • Senpai_Baka
    Senpai_Baka1yr
    Posted

    I went through it and it's not that bad seems to be an interesting story, but you should really separate the dialogue from the actual story, if not it may come off confusing. You also open quotation and close it sometimes, It also seem like you were writing in third person but then it changed to first person. This is just my Opinion

    The Mage's Mark: Glenn's Rise to Supernatural
    Fantasy · bigmadtoe
    detail
  • Senpai_Baka
    Senpai_Baka1yr
    Replied to bigmadtoe

    Sure why not

    Ch 1 Chapter 1: Prologue
    Robotic Flow
    Sci-fi · Senpai_Baka
    detail
  • Senpai_Baka
    Senpai_Baka1yr
    Commented

    I keep losing my account so I stopped writing

    Ch 8 Out of Control
    Rings of Magic
    Fantasy · Blackberry_123
    detail