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VRW1

VRW1

Lv11

an arthor and also an artist and working on getting an amie.

2020-11-23 JoinedGlobal
-d

Writing

27h

of reading

197

Read books

Badges

15

Moments

176
  • VRW1
    VRW19mth
    Commented

    The chapter was a good pace, and give a good picture of the story while I was reading.

    Ch 1 First Day
    altalt
    THIS NOVEL HAS BEEN MOVED TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT!
    Fantasy · IvanelaFics
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW19mth
    Replied to HandsomeWriter

    Thanks for the review. I self edit all my stuff and also it help me improve as a writer but I do reread my stuff and see the errors. I do come back and change it later on. Keep reading it. It does gets better along the way.

    altalt
    39 Myths
    Sci-fi · VRW1
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW19mth
    Commented

    Lets do it.

    Let's get to it, shall we?
    altalt
    THIS NOVEL HAS BEEN MOVED TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT!
    Fantasy · IvanelaFics
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Commented

    I said west twice but the last part is the east.

    Ch 2 The New World
    altalt
    Dual Threat Genoiss
    Action · VRW1
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Replied to RomanceFanatic028

    The MC have a split personality so that why it was confusing. I going to explain later on. Thanks for the review.

    altalt
    Dual Threat Genoiss
    Action · VRW1
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Posted

    The story have potential and how the set goal of which each character is going to have to overcome in the story and how the author did that in the story, but there is grammar errors, but every story have grammar errors. It give the author more room to improve and involve the creation of your storytelling. Keep it up author

    altalt
    Red Blood Century
    Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Commented

    Some words need to be capitalize. The story is great, but that old man is up something. Nice touch putting in shaman. A MC that is inbetween her sister and mother. The grandmother is more mysterious. The story gave potentials but grammar need to be corrected.

    Ch 2 Shaman Of The West Village
    altalt
    Red Blood Century
    Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Commented

    That knife and pepper spray going to be useless.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Red Blood Century
    Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Commented

    Don’t follow.🤦🏽

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Red Blood Century
    Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Commented

    I don’t know what culture shaman come from but it can be build a lot of storytelling.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Red Blood Century
    Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Commented

    This old man up something.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Red Blood Century
    Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Commented

    That guy going to come up later.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Red Blood Century
    Fantasy · RomanceFanatic028
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Replied to ThePotatoKing

    Okay. I skip some years due to his spilt personality. He created of the events he suffer. I will explain that later on, but that why it is confusing.

    Ch 1 The Boy
    altalt
    Dual Threat Genoiss
    Action · VRW1
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Replied to ThePotatoKing

    I fix the grammar errors later and Soul games can also be confusing so I try to make it mystery. Also thank you for the review

    altalt
    Dual Threat Genoiss
    Action · VRW1
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Posted

    The story at first was peaceful and felt with emotion and at first, he had me when he wrote it at first, but after reading it further it will hit with a punch and you will ask yourself what is going on in a good way.

    altalt
    Masquerade of Madness
    Horror · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Commented

    I see the hint of it being all within his head, but it was surprising that he was eating the cake by himself. It feels cool when you eat alone though. Good start.

    Ch 2 "Happy Birthday ... to me!"
    altalt
    Masquerade of Madness
    Horror · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Commented

    From a dream to a nightmare.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Masquerade of Madness
    Horror · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Commented

    Telling the object is like the person is a good comparison when it comes to personalities and describing the behavior of people.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Masquerade of Madness
    Horror · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Replied to Loctovia

    Thanks. I will correct the grammar errors later on. Then come back through and tell me what you think then.

    altalt
    Dual Threat Genoiss
    Action · VRW1
    detail
  • VRW1
    VRW11yr
    Posted

    The story is well deserve the design of the story and the plot so far in the prologue leave to the imagination of the MC. I like the way the author deliver the mystery and dark tone of the mother.

    altalt
    The King is in love
    Fantasy · Loctovia
    detail