Thanks for the postive take to the comment. The most I could say is that try to mention what you said in the chapters itself since the reader really can't get any ideas if you don't. My entire response was based on the stuff that is mentioned, I've also thought about the difference in ages and maybe more compassionate because of his sister or his past but as a reader I can't figure it out without it being known to me. And yeah the relationships should have really been kept out as a whole. Maybe you don't feel much because you're thinking and writing as you go on but my advice is to read from the start again from the readers view. You'll simply find that there are suddenly a lot of inconsistencies with what's been said and what's happening. And the sudden relationship happens so fast that's it's more cringe overall, that's considering his mental age too. And you aren't bad by any means, just the fact that you could even try a take with snezhnaya as a start rather than mondstadt atleast puts your idea as more unique. And as for the story itself no one is good at the start, if you still like doing it later you'll keep on getting better at this too. This simply requires a lot of experience to get better at.

Nothing personal to the author but I feel that the quality is going down with every chapter I read. Everything is basically canon storyline with the addition of one character whose existence is basically not necessary barring the forced relationships he's been put in with random girls. There is no consistent setting to the MC too. Randomly friendly and feeling bad and randomly saying he's cold and ruthless and is just using them. The so called master who was very dear to him, the only thing he did was watch him die and complain. But for a random girl who he only wanted relationship with cause she had use, he was feeling sad. This is not a review of the fanfic by any means but my personal statements in their entirety so don't judge it simply based on stuff written here. I just wanted to pass on my message to the author and nothing else.

Another update, translation quality has dropped to optimised MTL level. Basically the translator isn't doing much and just correcting a few words here and there. And the grammar is all over the place, which is irritating to read the more you try to.

More addition here, forgot to add that while the translation itself is readable, the pronouns are all over the place. A lot of the times it's hard to understand if the other party is a male or female because of continuous changes in the pronouns. And the review was till chapter 230ish before, I've gone forward a little more and the nationalism has increased even more. While I'm okay with nationalism personally but for those who are not I'd simply not suggest even trying to read this novel.

A good premise overall with it being different from the random cliches you may read everyday. The Pros: 1. The power system is easy to understand. 2. His cheat or system like thing are explained properly over the course of the story. 3. The humor is okay (can be weird sometimes especially if you don't understand it since there are no notes by the author) 4. Decent character development. The cons: 1. I'd just get the major one out fo the window first with it basically being pro China. (No not some name like huaxia but literally China since it's based in real world) This is okay at the start with light praises but boils down to down right racist later on and in any major events you'll read 'China' or 'Chinese' alot in the chapters. (There is literally a sentence which says the MC ate the Chinese military rations, he's not in a mixed military border but is just eating food provided during a school competition and the competition is just based for a prefecture and not the entire country) 2. Many times there's absolutely zero continuity between chapters with random events just changing going in the next chapter. 3. There is not much development of side characters at all. I mean the author talked about MCs first team in a way that you'd think they'll stay relevant to the story even if only a little. But they only show their names once or twice that too is just names and they disappear in their entirety. Another example would be the other guy in the second team who only has the bear minimal involvement despite talking about how important teams and stuff are. 4. The author tries to bring humor to serious scenes in the story and it downright destroys the entire momentum of it. 5. The fight scenes are basically trash. If I were to describe it they feel like they were written by a child who just had a higher vocabulary so he didn't use sound effects to write them but just put in description of those sound effects. Because of the trash rating system of webnovel I can't really rate it properly so I just randomly put stars to come somewhere close to where I would like it. And for the comments describing the translation as bad, they're simply trying to say that there are no author notes so they can't understand some of the events taking place (region specific humor or phrases). The work itself is entirely readable. All I can say is if you're fine with the racism then this would be a good read and about 4 stars but because of just the huge amounts of it, I'll only be giving it 2.

Not really insulting except pets are human in this one. The basic premise is the same, MC is nothing without the supports who are simulating (like the pets in Pet simulator). But there being no real life simulations atleast till the point I read. And also I gave up on pet simulator, the synopsis was completely baiting me with angewomen and whatnot but reality of just cliched final forms gave me a harsh slap. Not that the story is bad jsut that all expectations went down the drain.

When you're going to die real soon and you have knowledge of it, you'll realize there aren't many options left. Maybe you and the OP stopped reading it as soon as he chose the girl. Read a little more to understand why it happened.

Mister infant, the boss you so 'honorably' called out here pits their life and everything to start the company. When anything happens to it the boss will be a bankrupt mess. What about the workers, in 1-2 months they'll get hired someplace else. First of all atleast learn to differentiate between reality and fiction. And not compare how things work in both. And then learn a little about how things work in reality itself. The so called boss has everything on the fence for the work, he will bear losses if the workers make mistakes, he pays all expenses of the company so that makes it his right to get the majority of earnings

Just to add to the point here. I've literally read in an absolute unit of a work that 'chinese are the only real humans whereas the rest of the world were chimpanzees who were evolved by Chinese ancestors of the past'. I think world domination is better than this crap. As for the guy hating USA and supporting China. This is comparing mindset of two and telling who has a better one. Personally both of them are really stupid with one having a mindset of 'Land of the free' and the other with 'We rule over everything and the rest are beneath us'. Ofcourse there's bias involved in these statements since I've only read about things and never been to those countries personally but even if politicians like to skew news in favor, i don't believe it would be that much.

Personally feel the story is getting worse. The reason being, MC doesn't feel like he has any existence, atleast when the fic started, MC felt like himself but now he just feels like Aokiji inserted into the story. This is just making it more and more cringe to read. but these are my own thoughts.

Ahh I didn't mean it in any mean way before. I just wanted to let you know to write the fact that you do not like this type of story itself at the start so others can be aware. I typed as I'd usually speak with expressions so it came off wrong. And obito did not know till the he got attacked that he has a mark on him. And you're comparing different things here the mark isn't part of space-time category but sealing jutsu. Only the usage of it requires space-time mastery. And also Obito doesn't master space-time jutsu too. As hinted alot, the jutsu from mangekyo usually comes with the desire of the user. Obitos wish when he awakened it was to be away from reality. So he basically got a Doraemon door which is fixed in location to his personal space. As for the neglect part, I do agree on that and will just wait if the author is going to clarify something or just let it slide (though that would be a disappointment.

You still haven't figured after this long that the story isn't the same? Naruto and Itachi are same age? He has younger siblings? His parents are alive? Were these not questions that should come before what you just asked?

Honestly an amazing work but it's not for everyone out there. You will see the absolute dark in this work. If you do not like that type of work just don't bother reading it. For people who do like this particular genre, it is absolutely something you should read.

Also Danzo was involved in all that stuff. Why are you asking about Yamanaka clan checking him when this whole thing may as well be plotted by others.

You do not how actually FTG work. A marker or something is needed and Orochimaru already knows he can use it since he publicly used in the chunin battle. Meaning he can restrict or remove it. And you should think how even in the original it was the same, Minato only tagged enemies with it. Because no one is comfortable being tagged with it even during peace time. Man the rating of 1 star was still clearly illogical based on what you wrote. You should just honestly write that you don't like this type work so you rated it as such. Trying to put it in words and getting them wrong is bad for other readers who wanna try it.

Just an overall bad fanfic. Nothing but dreams of having harem by the MC, even his mother isn't left out of his imagination. No story, random stuff added by the author.

the MC has no cheat, I've read 27 chapters and 70 percent of the content was descriptions of girls, 20 percent nonsense rambling by MC and the other 10 is random addition to the work by the author. I've not seen a single decent thing about this till now and don't think I'll see it even if I keep reading.

Are we reading different stories here? You say he's not strong from the beginning but he has absolutely zero chance of death. He can not only not die but also get information of what's gonna happen without consequences and no one else would know. Just because his strength is not high does not mean he isn't OP. He does not even fear the sage of six paths spying on him and knowing how everything works and you still say he isn't strong from the start.

Plot holes right from the start. For example, why can he reload back to the start and still have the beginner gift pack when the system uses up one load point, why can he randomly keep advanced cooking talent when he reloaded back to get others. (authors point here was that one needs to practice to keep the knowledge but why does he have it despite doing nothing). What the hell is the context for the so called dead heart, Why? Where? How? Why should I know he has a dead heart if he just says it but with absolutely zero context. He's freely meeting sasuke (Indra reincarnation) without worrying he can actually die, if his system is that OP why bother writing this novel just start and directly go to the end cause nothing can happen to him. I've only read 3 chapters at this point, this is a note to the author to think about and not a dissing post as I'm going to continue reading and see if it improves.

As you could see other than the vocabulary and grammar. Most things are just my personal dislikes, basically a rant that can be ignored. Rewriting would improve the language aspect but my personal dislikes would still be in the way here. Anyways hats of to you for actually listening to me ranting and keep on working on your project. Though I would suggest creating imaginary gods and such rather than directly naming them from different religions. Even though it's just a fiction but there are still people who would take these personally.