richonisy
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richonisy1mthPostedThis is a really solid Harry Potter story. The world is more expanded upon than most other fanfics, and there is an actual world outside of the protagonist. The only real critique I have as of chapter 25 is that dialog between characters and their thoughts feel unnatural. Oftentimes, the same phrases will be repeated the same way. e.g, when Harry talks to the administrators who will decide his future education, they all say the exact same phrases when talking about him. Ramble Underneath I don't really care if authors use AI to help them write, but it can sometimes lead to a limited vocabulary(it might not be AI, and the author could just struggle with convincing dialog). A lot of AI stories use a higher level of vocabulary but don't apply it correctly and ends up making dialog too rigid
- richonisy3mthCommented
so the author in the story made a clone of btth
However, in the past ten years, he has hardly made any progress. At the age of sixteen, he is still stuck at the first level of martial artist. He has become a laughingstock of everyone in Tiannan City and is also the target of everyone's bullying in the family. - richonisy4mthCommented
Why lie and say he just now gained these abilities? He really doesn't need to. If you are going to have an op mc, it's better for him to show his strength and not have to tip toe around revealing it.
"I don't know how to describe it, I just sorta knew how to do things I couldn't before, like this." I said before causing the room to fall below freezing temperature for a few seconds before going back to regular. - richonisy4mthCommented
1. I think it would be weird to have more partners. you explained that he and raven have a "connection". will he also have this connection to other girls? if not then it is kind of unfair to them.
This book has been deleted. - richonisy5mthCommentedCh 30 Chaptere 28: First Task
- richonisy5mthCommented
batman is talking like an mcu character
This paragraph has been deleted. - richonisy5mthCommentedCh 28 Chapter 26: no more unfinished business
- richonisy7mthCommentedCh 6 Schedule
- richonisy8mthCommentedCh 45 Chapter 43: Weird Names.
- richonisy8mthCommented
I swear I saw one fanfic use the word enigmatic a couple months ago. Now everybody is overusing it
The enigmatic hero had been responsible for the technological marvels that stood as bastions of defense across the city. - richonisy8mthCommentedRigel, knowing that the attacker was actually Voldemort, had been most worried about the killing curse, and while it could be blocked by transfiguration and physical barriers, there wasn't a lot he could do, being unable to move and bend trees with any great speed. Instead, he'd entered the forest carrying a pouch of sand in his pocket, having spent the last week learning the sand-to-glass spell, which, while fragile, he theorised might deflect the spell somewhat, giving him the chance to dodge. A whip of fire swiped through the darkness, slicing towards him, and Rigel dived to the ground in panic. "There you are," came a disgusting, hissing voice. Rigel readied the sand, picturing a shield, ready for the green curse, unable to protect against the bright red streak that flowed instead.
- richonisy8mthPosted
- richonisy9mthCommented
don't worry too much about it. write wehenever you have good ideas, we can wait.
Sorry guys and short chapter today. I'm having a severe case of writer's block. I want to write chapters, but my mind seems to blank out when I'm on my keyboard. I know I said I would spurn out more chapters, but I'm blank. Therefore the release rate will slow down for a bit. I will write more chapters, but it won't be frequent. It will pick when I organize what I want to write and how the story will go from now on. - richonisy9mthCommentedCh 23 Chapter 23: Savages.
- richonisy10mthReplied to Hippo9999
sauce?
"His age doesn't matter to me, since he saved me and has shown me the way to my dreams." Said Emma resolutely. - richonisy11mthCommented
the more times he says this, the less serious it is to me. I think its just because he sys it the same way everytime.
"I'm an escaped slave, Lily. and my owners weren't nice." - richonisy1yrCommentedCh 38 Familial arms race