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khaosspawn

khaosspawn

Lv15
2019-03-24 JoinedGlobal
4.7kh

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28
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Posted

    I love the beginning of this story and can't wait to see where it goes. I also love the take on the combination of cultivation and system genres

    altalt
    Inferior Cultivation System
    Urban · MyLittleBrother
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Posted

    I'm really enjoying this story, it's flows extremely well, the grammar is great, and the characters seem to be well thought out, even if we don't always get to learn their backstory right away.

    altalt
    Cultivation Online
    Games · MyLittleBrother
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Commented

    I'm really looking forward to seeing exactly what his refinement trade can do, imagine if he figures out a way to implement it in the real world to convert, well anything really, into worldly energy (nuclear weapons exist so conservation of energy exists, so with his transmutation ability that seems to only require will power, a basic understanding of atoms, and energy to function, he could literally turn a landfill directly into pure useable energy)

    Ch 480 Leaving Godmar Divine Empire
    altalt
    Guild Wars
    Games · Kotario
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Posted

    I like this novel but so far there is a severe lack of world-building, and we're given no concept of the different levels of strength or the requirements to reach them, as such it feels rushed. the MC also lacks a compelling reason for seeking strength, he became the richest man in town, got the girl, gained the approval of his father-in-law, and even had political support so why would he feel the need to run off on an adventure to get even stronger? I do really like the concept and it has potential but alot more thought needs to go into story development

    altalt
    Forging The Path To Godliness
    Eastern · King Demigod
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Replied to J_S_2998

    the mc dotes on all of the important ones (the others approached him because of his nature) and while he often goes and does his own thing when possible he spends a lot of time with them, in fact he's working on a way to keep them all with him

    altalt
    Guild Wars
    Games · Kotario
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Posted

    the first web-novel I read was reincarnation of the strongest sword God so when I saw that this one had a similar premise I decided to check it out, only to find that this story is infinitely better, the story progression is great, the world building is phenomenal and we're constantly being given hits that there's something more going on under the surface waiting for the main characters to mature and even secretly pushing them to do so

    altalt
    Guild Wars
    Games · Kotario
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Commented

    I haven't caught up yet so you may have already done it but, for his archery growth you should have him forge more arrows, he can make different ones with different elements and give them the return ability opening up the possibility of multi-shot techniques, you can also have him forge a completely broken arrow with both a return ability and a split ability (something like eternal split for the runes) that let's him fire one arrow that becomes hundreds

    Ch 294 The Orchard 7
    altalt
    Guild Wars
    Games · Kotario
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Commented

    I gotta say I love that he just sits back and lets her handle the enemies of her level and only steps in when there's someone she can't handle, most stories the guy is either stupidly overprotective or just refuses to pass up a fight, this way they're both still gaining experience

    Ch 218 Chapter 218 Liu Mei's power
    altalt
    Monarch of Time
    Eastern · ZeusTheOlympian
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Commented

    why doesn't ray just steal this Blake guys Mana? once Blake loses his abilities it won't matter who his backer is, and if his body can't store it all then he can just share with Jack, Sylvia and whoever else

    Ch 251 The Empire's backing
    altalt
    My Dragon System
    Fantasy · JKSManga
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Posted

    this is great, cliche's are minimal and not drawn out, writing quality is great, and the story is progressing quite rapidly but without feeling rushed, honestly I wish I would have found a few months later so I could binge read more chapters.

    altalt
    Monarch of Time
    Eastern · ZeusTheOlympian
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Replied to LamenThief

    I can't believe that they won't contract you because of a little I ncest when there are several contracted novels that contain it like: dual cultivation, profane prince, ect. (I remember having read others but I can't think of them at the moment)

    Ch 213 Cute New Recruits
    altalt
    Lust Knight
    Fantasy · LamenThief
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Commented

    I honestly really hope that you continue this novel, your world-building is amazing and it is many many times better than other novels with the same premise, if you want to get away from the R-18 stuff an easy way would be to only give detail when it's a new girl/ situation and just say: " he continued to meet with Rose and Amelia (ect.) everyday to complete his permanent quest earning coins and exp." that way you can focus on the other aspects of the novel, also the occasional quest from his martial system would be great, (like getting into the top three of the tournament). you can totally make it so his dual system is just a cheat to get stronger faster. while I don't expect you to take my ideas seriously I do hope that they might be able to inspire you to keep writing this, or at least give you a spark to build on.

    Ch 34 Announcement
    altalt
    I Received a Sex System From The Goddess of Lust and Beauty
    Fantasy · Ancient_Dream
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Posted

    honestly really like this story so I'm hoping that if it's rating goes up we can get more chapters..........................................

    altalt
    Closed Beta That Only I Played
    Fantasy · basso77
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Replied to Dr_Hero

    getting much better, one thing I thought of to point out though, you have "inspect" listed as an ability in his status but when talking about him using it you refer to it as a skill, since you said that he can only have 5 skills the distinction may be important in the future. I am absolutely loving this story so far.

    Ch 44 What am I ? A delivery Boy and a body guard
    altalt
    CHAOS DEMON EVOLUTION SYSTEM
    Fantasy · Dr_Hero
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Commented

    I don't think you should limit him to five abilities, you describe the power of chaos as having the ability to make or break rules, so it wouldn't make sense that it is limited by rules, if you were going to limit him I'd make it so that it's a false limit that he perceives himself having only to break free of it at a later time. it's your creation so do what you think is best, I just thought I'd offer a suggestion.

    Ch 4 Chapter 4: Core Shape-Shifting Mask
    altalt
    CHAOS DEMON EVOLUTION SYSTEM
    Fantasy · Dr_Hero
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Replied to Ishan_Rajwade

    not necessarily better, or more powerful just more convenient/deadly as it uses poison, and considering that it was a lieutenant level totem made with a Lord/Duke level essence rose and most likely the "gold poo" mold it makes sense that it would be strong

    Ch 1172 Breakthrough
    altalt
    Monster Integration
    Fantasy · AnWan
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Replied to murmuringcorn50

    agreed, I'm glad he's getting such a cool inheritance but I'm still trying to figure out how angel is better than godslayer. I'm also really hoping that the Titan blood awakens and becomes a rediculously powerful bloodline

    Ch 1108 Creation Heart Inheritance II
    altalt
    Monster Integration
    Fantasy · AnWan
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Commented

    you can just do an auxiliary chapter with his harem members basic info. listed, then if a reader forgets someone they can just look at that

    Ch 200 Comment!!
    altalt
    Unrivaled System
    Fantasy · XxEagleNightxX
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Commented

    wasn't the Wisdom tower that he has an invite to supposed to be one of the supreme organizations?

    Ch 846 The Apartment
    altalt
    Monster Integration
    Fantasy · AnWan
    detail
  • khaosspawn
    khaosspawn3yr
    Commented

    he definitely formed the 5th amethyst seal in the garden, so this should be the 6th?

    Ch 814 5th Amethyst Seal
    altalt
    Monster Integration
    Fantasy · AnWan
    detail